


Skeleton Kisses

by docemoon145



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Awkward Kissing, Awkward Romance, Awkward Sexual Situations, Contains the Sweetest Smut Scene You Will Ever Read, Cuddles, Dadster, Domestic, Eventual Sex, F/M, Fluff, Goopster, Happy Ending, Interspecies Awkwardness, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Monsterphobia, No Ecto-Penis (Undertale), No Ecto-Tongue (Undertale), Papyrus Knows Best, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Racism, Reader Has A Justice Soul, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader is human, Sans Has The Patience Of A Saint, Sans Likes To Cuddle, Sans is a Marshmallow, Sensitive bones, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Voice Kink, reader is female
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2019-10-10 14:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 103,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17428046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/docemoon145/pseuds/docemoon145
Summary: Your friends had been trying to convince you to get out and meet somebody for a while. After waking up one day and realizing you were twenty seven, hadn’t gotten laid in five years, and were considering buying a cat so your apartment didn’t feel so empty all the time, you realized they might be right. So, you sign up for a blind dating service, absentmindedly shrugging and clicking yes when it asked if you would consider matching with monsters.You couldn’t have expected your blind date to be a skeleton. Or that he’d actually be very pleasant company. In fact, you liked him enough to keep seeing him, but… even as you start to feel interested, he kinda creeps you out?You’re caught up in a weird frightened romance, but thankfully Sans is a patient guy.





	1. Your Blind Date Doesn’t Have Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Midnight in a Perfect World](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8041306) by [lambkind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lambkind/pseuds/lambkind). 
  * Inspired by [Between Flesh & Bone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5249321) by [Darkina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkina/pseuds/Darkina). 



> (Hey, guys. No promises on an update schedule. I write this when I want and for fun. But if you want to motivate me, thoughtful comments work really well.)
> 
> This work was also inspired by:  
> [Another Day in Paradise](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16025381/chapters/37401101) by Ta1knerdy2me, but it seems to have been taken down? Dang, it was a good one too. In it, Sans liked humans, but he had trauma from being repeatedly rejected by them (often due to his lack of genitalia). But he meets the reader who doesn’t seem to mind? Even complements him?!  
> I really liked it i-i

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which you eat dinner with a skeleton monster.

You blow one last bubble with your gum before spitting it out into the nearest trash can. It’s autumn, and the air is a little chilly and a little windy. You check your phone one last time for the details sent to you through your dating service. The location was right. The time was right. Today was the correct day.

_Alright. So just go on in and find table 13._

The door jingled slightly when you pushed it open. A server behind a podium asked if they could help you, and you just turned your phone screen to them. “I’m meeting someone here. Dunno who yet. Where’s table 13 at?” 

“The other side of that wall there. They’re numbered on the sides. Good luck, Miss.”

“Thanks,” you smiled casually, strolling around the little three-quarters-high wall built up in the middle of the floor. It seemed to be used as a shelf for potted plants to add more atmosphere to the place. Classy, but still casual enough that you didn’t feel out of your element. Really not a bad place.

You rounded the corner and saw a handful of tables with people already seated. There was no telling how many of them may or may not have been directed here by your dating service, and you read the numbers on the sides of the tables attentively.

You thought you saw number thirteen and glanced up to see if anyone was sitting there yet, and your breath hitched in your throat. There was a fucking skeleton sitting with its back to the divider wall. You stopped breathing for real and your body went completely still as your natural instincts forced you to search for any signs of danger to your person. 

There were none.

The restaurant was completely calm and the atmosphere was warm. And, now that you were paying so much attention, you could tell that the skeleton wasn’t dead, as odd as that sounded. It was slouching in its chair, sure, but in a lazy kind of way rather than a… dead kind of way. It was wearing a crisp white button up shirt with a black suit vest on top. You could tell they were tailored for really thin people, but the fabric still folded a little unnaturally on top of his bony arms and shoulders. His rib cage was apparently wide enough to fill out the vest, though. He had a very smooth, white, round skull for a head with nothing—no hair or skin, obviously—covering it. His eyes were wide black sockets with little white pinpricks of light in them, and his jaw was apparently fused to his skull and set in a lazy grin.

So, a skeleton, but a living one. Not reanimated remains, just alive. Magic, probably. You told yourself that he must be a monster.

With some hope, you took a closer look at the number on his table. 13. Your hopes were betrayed. Maybe you shouldn’t have allowed the site to match you with monster partners. 

You looked up at the skeleton again, who didn’t seem to have noticed you just standing around yet. Could you just walk out and leave? _I mean, not to be rude, but he’s creepy, and I’m not interested. Not to mention, half of the point of this was to get me laid._

You made excuses to yourself, but they just had the opposite effect. You started to feel like a really shitty person. Just imagining how many times people just bailed on blind dates with him after realizing he was a skeleton made your heart ache with pity.

You resolved yourself. This wouldn’t go anywhere romantic, but you could at least chat with the guy and have a nice dinner. If, uh, if he could eat, that is.

You approached table 13 and the monster finally seemed to notice you, sitting up straighter in his chair (god, seeing a skeleton move on its own gave you chills). His smile seemed wider now and the lights in his eyes brighter.

“Heya, pal,” a voice came from the skeleton, even though his mouth stayed shut and he didn’t have vocal chords ( _it’s just monster magic weirdness. Monster magic, okay? Calm down_ ). “You must be my blind date for the evening.”

“Uh, yeah,” you hated how shaky your voice sounded, and cleared your throat in an attempt to fix it. “Yeah. My name’s (y/n).”

“The name’s Sans,” he said easily, “Sans the skeleton. Nice to meet ya, (y/n).”

He held out a hand for you to shake and you couldn’t keep your body from freezing again. Your eyes scanned the skinless digits and something in your stomach churned at the unnaturalness of it. You could feel your face go white, and that knowledge mortified you even more.

Sans’s grin dipped a bit at the edges, then rose back into something fainter as he pulled his hand back. “Sorry. Uh, not used to monsters?”

You wanted to punch yourself. You were being so damn rude! You might have hurt him less by just bailing when you had the chance!

“I, uh, really haven’t met many, no. I honestly didn’t expect to match with one first thing.”

Sans’s expressions were really hard to read, but you thought some of the casualness returned to his smile. “That’s fine, we can take it slow. Why don’t you take a seat?”

Your knees were beginning to feel weak from adrenaline-based fear and embarrassment, so you eagerly pulled your chair back and sat down across from him.

_Is he a “he,” though? I mean, if he’s a skeleton all the way through, then he shouldn’t have any, uh… I need to stop thinking about this._  

He had a nice deep voice, and you’d requested a male match, so you decided to consider Sans a he from now on.

“Hey, what do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?” Sans said suddenly, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You looked up at his glowing eyelights and desperately tried to ignore the fact that the rest of his face was literally just a skull without any skin on it. “Um, I don’t know?” you replied dumbly.

He closed one eye socket at you in a lazy wink ( _Wait howthefuck—?!_ ) and drawled, “Wet feet.”

For a second, you were shocked still, but then the unexpected punchline collided with your frayed nerves like a ton of bricks and you burst out into raucous laughter, bending over the table, resisting banging it with your fists, and even snorting once or twice in a wholly unseemly display. However, when you managed to bring your gaze up (still laughing), Sans’s eyelights were big and bright. The skeleton man leaned back in his chair and stuffed his hands in his slacks’ pockets.

“There, that’s better. You looked like you needed a little icebreaker to help you loosen up.”

“Thanks,” you wiped a tear from your eye, “I really did.” 

The waiter came around then and they both ordered their drinks. You got a water and Sans got some kind of alcoholic beverage. You couldn’t help staring at his jaw and cervical vertebrae and wondering just how on earth he was going to drink it.

Not good. You were starting to become aware again that you were sitting across the table from a _living skeleton_ —

“Need another joke?” Sans’s deep, smooth voice offered.

You blushed and found an interesting spot on the table cloth to look at. “Y-yes please.”

“Alright. Why does a chicken coop have two doors?”

“Why?”

“Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.” 

Oh these were good! You fell victim to another bout of raucous laughter and Sans definitely looked pleased with himself.

The server arrived with your drinks at the tail end of your laughter and handed each of you a food menu to peruse. You stuck a straw into your water glass and took a sip, eyes on the menu as you flipped it open with one hand. You glanced up in time to see Sans tilt his glass back against his teeth, Amber liquid apparently slipping through the cracks and… not dripping out the bottom. He had his eyes on the menu, same as you did a moment ago, and he also glanced up, noticing you staring.

Sans tipped his head a bit to the side in a way that gave the impression that he was raising an eyebrow at you, and you blushed helplessly. You were embarrassed for staring, but you were equally or more curious. So you gestured at your water glass and your mouth and then at him and spluttered out a helpless, “How???”

Sans laughed, and it was a relaxing sound that eased some of your nervousness. He tapped his teeth with a blunt skeletal finger and mercifully gifted you with an explanation. “There’s magic in my mouth that decomposes it into new magic that my body can use for energy.”

You deflated somewhat as the tension left you. He made it sound really simple and obvious. “Oh, okay. That makes sense, I guess.”

Sans hummed curiously and took another drink of his alcohol. He set down the glass and laced his fingers. “(Y/n), do you… know what the difference is between human food and monster food?”

You looked back at him blankly. Until he had posed this question, you didn’t know there _was_ a difference. You’d never eaten monster food before, and your exposure to any of their culture had been pathetically limited. There were just so few monsters around here that you never even had the chance to bump into any.

Sans took your blank look as your answer and explained in a smooth, easy tone. “Monster food is mostly magic and a little bit of matter, just like monsters. Human food is a little bit of magic and a lot of matter, just like humans. That’s the only difference, but it changes a lot.”

“Okay,” you said hesitantly. “So, uh… Is that going to be a problem? Like, can you still eat the food here?”

“I’ll be fine,” he smiled lazily. “I took some medicine when I got here to help my body digest it. I just figured that you’d be staring at me like that all night if I didn’t explain it to you first.” 

You felt heat burning in your cheeks. Oh god staring at him _like what_? What kind of face had you been making?!

You nearly buried your face in your hands, but disguised it by brushing your hair back. “I’m so sorry. I’m being so rude.”

“Hey, don’t sweat it,” he waved a hand casually and glanced back down at his menu. “I get where you’re coming from. Let’s just decide what to eat, yeah?” 

“Okay.”

Still blushing, but feeling a little calmer thanks to Sans’s laidback attitude, you scanned the food selection. Somehow you made up your mind by the time the server came back. You and Sans ordered what you wanted and the server refilled your drink, they gave Sans a water to drink whenever his alcohol was gone. 

“So, (y/n),” Sans said your name so easily, “What do you do for a living, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“O-oh, uh,” being surprised, you had to take a moment to reorient yourself. “I’m a computer hardware engineer in the private sector.”

“No kidding?” you thought his grin got wider, but the way his face moved was subtle, so you weren’t sure. You decided to focus on his eyelights instead, as they had grown noticeably brighter.

“What, are you interested?” You allowed yourself a playful smirk, “Most people think anything involving too much math is boring.”

“Buddy,” Sans chuckled, “math is my playground. I’m a particle physicist.” He took another swing of whatever was in his glass. “I’m in the government sector, though. In fact, that’s why I moved here.”

“Oh, really?” The fact that he was at or above your level in education and geekiness was surprising (good job, date-matching algorithm!), but you decided to steer the conversation along the other available route. “How long have you been in town?”

“It’s been about a month,” he smiled. “What about you? You a local?”

“No, I moved here for college and just kind of stayed. It’s been… oh my god, _nine years_?!” You propped your chin on your hands. “Man, time sure flies. I’m getting old!” 

Sans chuckled, “Yeah, I know the feeling.” You looked up at him and he tilted his head at you again, clearly seeing through your questioning expression. Finally, he settled into a somewhat dangerous smirk. “So, since you’ve never seen a skeleton monster before, try and guess how old I am.” 

“I’m not sure I want to know,” you said before you could stop yourself. Sans chuckled, but you thought he sounded slightly offended.

“I’m not ancient.”

“Right, sorry! Um…” Well you knew he was old enough to work as a particle physicist, so he had to be through college. After your last comment, you felt like you should guess on the low side to avoid hurting his feelings again. “Maybe… twenty-six?”

“Heh, nice guess. I’m twenty-five.”

_Oh, shit. He’s actually younger than me._  

Sans focused his eyelights on you, the edges becoming less fuzzy, and you automatically stiffened. He made a soft hmm sound and took a drink from his glass. “Twenty-seven?” he guessed.

Your mouth slipped open in surprise. “I’m impressed,” you said sincerely, “you got it.”

Sans chuckled and drained the last of his glass. “Thanks.”

The servers came with your food then. You started cutting into your fish but stopped to watch Sans lift his burger. He noticed you watching and grinned mischievously. “Watch it with the hot stares, my burger’s cooked enough already.”

You chuckled and popped a forkful of food into your mouth, keeping your eyes glued on Sans. You noticed his eyelights drop to your mouth as you chewed, and for a moment he looked just as curious as you felt.

You returned his mischievous smirk from earlier. “So are you actually going to eat your food or were you bluffing earlier when you said you could?”

He looked back up at your eyes and chuckled, then smiled with what you thought were… cautious, dimmed eyelights. “I’m gonna eat it. Just… don’t freak out, okay? My mouth does open.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden sincerity. Had humans freaked out on him before? Probably a lot now that you considered it. You nodded seriously and fixed your eyes on the skeleton man’s teeth. He sighed through his nasal hole and you started to hear cracking sounds. Before your ears could decide where they were coming from, they got louder, and suddenly Sans’s grin had split into two rows of teeth with two sharp pairs of canines. His mouth opened wide enough to fit the burger, and bit down on it. He didn’t chew or swallow at all, but his mouth was empty again a moment later when he took another bite.

Sans looked up and caught you staring. You didn’t think you were making a bad face, but he smiled more nervously than before. “You okay over there, (y/n)?” He still didn’t move his mouth when he spoke.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m fine.” Surprisingly, you were. You were too busy being curious to be afraid or grossed out at that moment. “I was just wondering if you could taste anything. I don’t see a tongue in there.”

He looked a little relieved. “Yeah, I can taste it. When it breaks down into basic magic I get signals on all the flavors and stuff. I can’t really tell what kind of texture food has, though. I guess it’d be like if you tasted food with your stomach?”

You winced. Having thrown up before, you really didn’t want to taste what was in your stomach. “I’m glad I have a tongue then. My stomach is busy doing grosser things.” You went back to eating and Sans chuckled.

After dinner you sat around for a while longer, exchanging jokes and letting off steam by complaining about shit. But it was starting to get late and you needed to be heading home.

But before you could do that, this was technically a date, and you had to decide some things before leaving.

First, you’d had a surprisingly good time. Sans was friendly and very easy to talk to, and his jokes were amazing. Had you hit it off with him? Yes, you’d say you had. However (and you really, really felt awful saying this), you weren’t attracted to him. Like, at all. He was just way too deep in the uncanny valley for your taste.

So, as far as finding a romantic partner went, this had pretty much been a flop, but you thought you could maybe be friends with Sans. You worked in fields that dealt with a lot of the same shit, and he was super chill and funny, so you kind of wanted to keep in contact. 

“So, uh,” you said suddenly, “It’s getting kind of late.”

“Oh, yeah. You probably want to get home, huh?”

“Yeah.” You dug around in your purse until you found your phone. You opened your contacts, putting it face up on the table and sliding it his way. “Could I maybe have your number so we can chat and stuff?”

His eyelights brightened in his owlish sockets. “Seriously?” You nodded, and he grinned. “Wow. I didn’t want to put you on the spot by asking for it, so I’m really glad you offered.”

He slid the phone back your way and you raised an eyebrow at him curiously. To which he chuckled and waved his phalanges at you. “Mind typing it for me? I can’t use touchscreens.”

You blushed and took your phone back, feeling stupid, and typed in the information Sans recited to you. You sent him a quick text with your name and his pocket buzzed. He pulled out a modern flip phone and grinned, saving you to his contacts. “So we’ll be in touch,” he said brightly. 

“Yeah.” You chewed your lip. “Look, I don’t want to lead you on, so I’m gonna be upfront about this. I’m not really… interested, but I want to try being friends. You seem like a cool guy, Sans.” 

His smile seemed to flatten for a moment, but he quickly fixed it. “Friends is fine,” he said in a gentle, understanding tone. “I’m just glad you gave me a chance. You looked like you were gonna bail when you first got here.”

“Oh god, you saw that?” You couldn’t help but hide your face behind your hands.

“Well,” he chuckled, “You were standing there _awhile_.”

“I’m sorry! It’s just— I’m sorry!”

“Hey, it’s fine,” he waved dismissively. “I get it. Like I said, I’m grateful you stuck through it. We got to know each other a little bit, and I think you seem pretty cool yourself. I’d love to stay in contact.”

You let out a relieved sigh and Sans stood up from his chair, walking around to your side of the table. You hurried to stand up as well and noticed with some surprise that you’ve got several inches on him. _A short skeleton man with a comic streak, and he’s a particle physicist. What a guy I ran into._

You looked down, seeing Sans was offering his hand again for a parting handshake. You lifted your same hand in response and brought it closer, but before you could actually touch his bare bones you chickened out, not so elegantly stuffing it into your pocket. You saw the lights in Sans’s eye sockets flicker dimmer in a hurt expression, but he forced a lazy smile back onto his face.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured. “I’m such an asshole.”

“If you’re not comfortable with touching, I’ll respect your boundaries,” he shrugged. “It was nice meeting you, (y/n).”

You smiled weakly. “You too, Sans. Thanks for the good time.”

His smile relaxed a little. “No problem. If you ever need more fantastic jokes, just hit me up. And, uh,” he rocked a little on the heels of his feet, “I want to be upfront too. If you ever change your mind about just being friends, let me know. Because I think you’re smart and beautiful, and you have a great laugh.” He winked at you, and you were shocked by the open confession. 

“W-wow. Um, thanks. I’m not that great though.”

Sans laughed and gave you a sly grin, “Buddy, that’s the best joke you’ve told all night.” He turned on his heels and started out ahead of you. “Talk to you later, I guess.” 

“Goodbye... Sans,” you managed, still reeling.


	2. The Consensus is that Skeletons are Spooky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which you go to a coffee shop and take a walk in the park with Sans, and people aren’t really chill about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one feels a little shorter than the last one. Sorry about that. But the next chapter is going to be these first two from Sans’s perspective. So yay! (Unless you don’t like when writers do that in which case sorry ._. )

Chloe 10:43am

Spill

Everything

 

10:58am

Girl where u at?

 

You rolled out of bed and grabbed your phone, groaning and sitting up more to type.

 

You 11:00am

Chill girl

We were out late. I slept in.

 

Chloe 11:00am

Out late huh? ; )

How was it?

 

You 11:00am

It was a flop, but I had a great time.

I mean,

He was really cool

Just not attractive?

 

Chloe 11:01am

Damn.

Gimme the deets?

 

You took the time to roll out of bed and drink a glass of water before answering. You started to feel alive again, and your memory of last night cleared up a bit.

 

You 11:03am

Well he ended up being a monster

 

Chloe 11:04am

Damn! Not many of those around here. What’re the odds?

Not one of the cute ones tho?

 

You 11:04am

Afraid not.

Kinda scary if I’m honest. He was a skeleton.

 

Chloe 11:04am

Like a literal skeleton?

Yeah, I get why it was a flop.

Bone man couldn’t bone you, huh?

 

You 11:04am

I didn’t ask, but I’m pretty sure he can’t…

You know.

 

Chloe 11:05am

Babe, I gotchu.

But u had fun right?

 

You 11:05am

Yeah. I got his number. We’re gonna try being friends.

 

Chloe 11:05am

Cool.

Listen, babe, the dogs are barking at me. Gotta let them out.

Ttyl?

 

You 11:05am

Later, babe

 

You set your phone down on your bedside table and stripped your pajamas off, dressing in something nice but appropriate for the cold weather. You stuffed your phone in your pocket and shuffled into the kitchen, reaching for some bread to make a bit of toast for breakfast. Your phone buzzed and startled you into stopping.

_Back already? Or maybe she’s curious enough to text me while holding onto the dogs._

You pulled your phone up in front of you and saw a text you hadn’t been expecting.

 

Sans 11:21am

good morning

 

Still half asleep, you texted a quick reply, maybe a little more sarcastic than you’d been going for.

 

You 11:21am

It’s noon tho

 

Sans 11:21am

ya, but i just woke up

 

You 11:21am

Yeah, me 2

 

You turned around and leaned back against the wall. Your bread forgotten on the countertop.

 

11:22am

So what’s up?

 

Sans 11:22am

since we both just woke up, wanna go get some coffee?

 

Your fingers froze over the digital keypad. Was he asking you out the day after your first date? So soon? You would have felt uncomfortable if you both hadn’t been so clear with each other last night.

_He knows I’m not interested in anything serious, so this will probably be fun?_

 

You 11:22am

Sure. Where?

 

Sans 11:22am

place by the park?

 

You recalled the coffee shop he was talking about. It was a nice place with a good atmosphere about a five minute drive from your apartment.

 

You 11:22am

Sounds good. I can be there in five?

 

Sans 11:22am

cool. c u then

 

This wasn’t a date, just a friendly outing, so what you were already wearing was good enough. You threw on a jacket and your purse and made your way to the elevator. The parking for your apartment was built in underneath the building itself to save on space, so you pressed the button for the lowest level and felt yourself drop.

Like you promised, you were there in five, and Sans was already outside waiting for you. He was wearing a fluffy blue hoodie that made him look less scrawny, his hands stuffed into his pockets. His pants were black sweatpants with white stripes down the sides. It was a comfy “just rolled out of bed” kind of outfit. You’d have been jealous if you weren’t essentially wearing a more presentable version of the same thing.

He pushed off his spot against the wall when he saw you and waved with a lazy smile. You smiled and waved back and did your best not to think about him being a literal skeleton. As long as you could tune that out, you would have a much better time.

“Hey, why do they call coffee “mud”?”

He was hitting you with a joke before even saying hello, but somehow you just found that amusing.

“Why?” You asked, a smile teasing your lips.

“Because it was ground just a few minutes ago.”

He waited for you to get the joke and have a good laugh, grinning proudly the whole time.

“Alright, but seriously though,” he shrugged and faced the door, “let’s go in and order something. I’m not supposed to be talking to people before I have my coffee.”

“Ugh, you and me both,” you groaned playfully and smiled when he held the door for you.

“Ladies first,” he winked.

“Wow,” before you could stop yourself, “chivalry really _is_ dead.”

You froze in mortification, then whipped your head around and started to apologize for what was probably a _really_ racist thing to say, but you stopped when Sans just burst out laughing like it was the funniest thing he’d heard all week.

You found yourself admiring the sound of his genuine laugh in between bursts of feeling like a terrible person.

“Wow, uh,” he struggled to speak between fits of giggles, “that’s a new one.” He stepped inside and shut the door, moving past you with a wink. “Come on, I’m dead on my feet here.”

You carefully relaxed your posture which was entirely too stiff and mentally breathed a sigh of relief. You were so lucky this guy had a sense of humor or that could have gone very badly.

You followed behind Sans and took your spot in line. The person in front of you two looked over his shoulder, noticed the skeleton standing behind him, and went pale, shuffling his feet forward so he was as close to the person in front of him as he could get without touching them. Rude, but you were in no position to judge, since you were being pretty careful not to bump into the short skeleton yourself.

The line moved quickly, and Sans was very polite in giving the nervous man in front of him his space. He ordered a straight black coffee from the college-age girl behind the counter, then repeated his order when it turned out she was too busy staring in disbelief to hear him.

“I said I’d like a black coffee, please.”

“Oh! Fuck, yeah,” the girl tapped on her POS screen and told him his total, and he swiped his card. She quickly poured him his coffee and set it on the counter, hiding her hands behind her back when he reached out to take it. You weren’t really sure how to feel about not being the only person afraid to physically touch Sans, but he was pleasantly casual about it as usual.

“I’ll be by the window,” he told you, going off to sit in an uncrowded part of the shop. You saw another table eyeing Sans from across the room, and when he sat down, they all simultaneously stood up to leave. That honestly made you feel a little sick.

“Ma’am?” The barista’s voice cut into your thoughts. “What can I get you?”

“Oh, uh, one large coffee with cream and a shot of caramel, and,” You broused the pastries with your eyes, “an apple fritter.”

The girl gave you your total, and you paid while she prepared your order. Then she handed you your items and you took your purchase over to where Sans was sitting, trying to forget the events of a few minutes ago. Sans came to your emotional rescue as usual.

“How did the hipster burn his tongue?”

You forced a small smile. “How?”

“He drank his coffee before it was cool.”

You laughed and felt your nerves unwinding, and your stomach was finally calm enough to start eating your late breakfast. You didn’t really want to ruin the mood that was finally turning up, but these feelings weren’t going to go away just by burying them with coffee jokes.

“That wasn’t okay,” you murmured. “None of that was okay.”

Sans tilted his head at you then shrugged flippantly, tipping his cup back and draining a quarter of it. “Well, if all they’re gonna do is look scared and avoid me, I can live with that.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” you said quietly, frowning and worrying your bottom lip. “I know I don’t really have any right to say that, since I’m not really any better. But I still know right from wrong when I see it, and that was wrong.”

Sans chuckled and propped his chin up on his knuckles, soft white eyelights gazing into your pupils. “You really don’t have to worry about it, (y/n). Wanna know why?”

“Why?” A smile tugged at the corner of your lips, and your body prepared itself for a joke.

“Because I’m having a good time.” He sipped his coffee and winked, “I’m here with you, after all. Nothing else is gonna ruin that for me.”

Oh, shit. You weren’t ready for sincerity. You felt your face flushing red and shoved the remaining half of your pastry into your mouth all at once, trying to focus on your full cheeks and _not the smooth line he’d just hit you with out of nowhere_.

You nearly choked on apple fritter (that was stupid in retrospect), and took a big gulp of coffee to wash it down, burning your mouth as a result.

“You okay there, buddy?” Sans smiled at you worriedly.

“I was not expecting that,” you said flatly, honestly still a little stunned and numb. “You’re not allowed to be that smooth. I’m banning it. No more. I’ll die next time.”

Sans’s lazy grin returned now that you were joking about it. “Cool, we’ll match.” He drained the rest of his coffee and pointed out the window to the park across the street. “Wanna park ourselves somewhere else?”

You let out a breath. If Sans wasn’t comfortable here after what happened earlier, you could completely understand, so you nodded and took the rest of your coffee with you on a walk in the chilly midday. There was a slight breeze, but clutching the styrofoam cup kept your fingers from getting too cold.

After walking for a bit, you two found a bench near a drained fountain and sat down there. You realized that Sans had only been in town for a month, and felt the need to talk up your local park when it wasn’t in its best condition.

“It’s a shame it isn’t warmer. There are lots of flowers around here in the spring, and the fountain would be running.”

Sans hummed in acknowledgement, then his eyes lit up (kind of literally, in his case) and he grinned at you. “Hey, what kind of flower grows on your face?”

You knew the answer to this one but you smiled wryly and let him finish. “What?”

“Tulips.”

You chuckled and took a sip of your coffee, then pursed your lips. “Alright. I’ve got one.”

“Hit me.”

“Okay, first, do you know about the “blondes are ditzy” stigma?”

He tilted his head, then shook it honestly.

“It’s uh, it’s not true, and I don’t know where it came from, but it’s a running joke that girls with blonde hair are dumb. Thus, the invention of blonde jokes. This is a blonde joke, so I wanted to make sure you were filled in first.”

He wore a shit-eating grin, “Nope, I’m hollow. But go ahead and tell your joke anyway.”

You snorted and took another sip of coffee while you organized your thoughts. “Okay, so there was this blonde who really needed money, so she kidnapped a kid in the park. Then she wrote a note, “if you ever want to see your kid again, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it in the northeast corner of the park. Signed, the blonde.” Then she had the kid deliver the note to his mom.”

Sans snorted and you grinned; there was more. “When the blonde came to the park the next day, there was a paper bag with $10,000 in it and a note that said “How could you do this to another blonde!””

Sans held his head and laughed. “Stars! Blonde jokes are just like temmie jokes!”

“Temmie jokes?” You tilted your head.

“They’re, heh, they’re a kind of monster. But they’re, uh, they really are as dumb as the girls in that joke. They’re good company though.”

“For real? Dang.” You moved to take another sip of coffee, but found the cup empty. “Double dang. I’m out of coffee.” You stood up and smoothed out your jacket. Sans stood up with you. “I should probably get going. It’s kind of chilly out here.”

“Alright. Thanks for coming out with me today, (y/n). I had a good time.”

“Yeah, I did too.” Well, except for what happened inside the coffee shop, but you were trying not to think about that. 

“So, I work tomorrow and every other week day, but I was hoping maybe we could meet up on Saturday?”

“Well, I didn’t have any plans. What did you want to do together?”

“I was thinking dinner and a movie. Something easy, to unwind after working all week.”

Your smile relaxed. That _was_ easy. Yeah, you could do that. “Sure. Just text me the details, okay?”

“Sounds good. See ya later, (y/n).”

“Later, Sans.” 

He didn’t offer his hand for you to shake this time, something that made you feel simultaneously relieved and guilty. Honestly, if he’d offered, you probably still would have refused. Two days was long enough for you to learn to tune out his general appearance, but you were far from comfortable with it.

Exhaling through your nose, you started walking back to your car and pulled out your phone.

 

To Chloe 12:20pm

I saw Sans again today

 

Chloe 12:22pm

Sans?

Wait!

Is that the skeleton guy??!

Explain!

 

You 12:22pm

He invited me to get coffee

 

Chloe 12:22pm

So the friends thing is working out?

Did you have fun?

 

You 12:23pm

He was awesome and chill but

Something else kinda ruined my mood.

 

You saw your car and waited until you were seated inside before checking your phone again. It was warmer out of the wind.

 

Chloe 12:23pm

You okay babe?

Babe?

 

You 12:25pm

Let’s just say I’m not the only person bothered by how he looks.

People were pretty shitty.

 

Chloe 12:25pm

Shit, babe

U ok? Ur not hurt right?

 

You 12:26pm

I’m fine. Nobody was violent.

It was just...

A little too obvious that they didn’t want anything to do with him.

 

You felt even worse when your thoughts drifted back to last night. You really, really hadn’t done any better than the people today. You were just like the guy in line and the barista behind the counter. You were better than the table of people who had outright refused to be in the same room as Sans, but that wasn’t saying much at all. 

 

Chloe 12:26pm

Shit

That sucks

Chin up though. Monsters aren’t common around here, but people will get used to him after he’s been around a while.

 

You 12:26pm

Probably

Gonna drive back. Text u l8r.

 

Chloe 12:26pm

Later babe!

 

You put your phone away and pulled out onto the road, soon taking your reserved spot in your apartment complex’s subterranean parking garage. You rode the elevator back up to your floor, returned to your room, and deposited yourself on the couch with a sigh.

You were supposed to be filled with caffeinated energy, but it was your day off and you didn’t feel like doing anything.

Whatever. No shame in being a bum on a Sunday. You pulled up Netflix on your TV and looked for something to binge.


	3. Skelly Has a Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which we see how Sans’s weekend went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughtful comments make me happy ;)

Sans had been taking a nap when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Figuring his brother Papyrus was texting him, he pulled it out to take a look, only to see a notification from his dating service: You have a match!! <3

Oh. Another “match.” Great. Apparently his plans for this weekend had changed from “sleep and wallow in self-pity” to “get rejected by a cute human girl.” Again.

It was really, really tempting to just not go, but the algorithm was working harder with each failed date he went on, and that knowledge gave him a bit of hope.

If he was going to do this, he should at least make a good first impression. Scratch that. He was a skeleton; his first impressions were always terrible. But he could at least dress for the occasion.

Sans dug his good suit out of the closet and smiled to himself. If this date didn’t work out, he could at least drop by a nice bar and have a few drinks. Then tonight would be fun either way.

 

 

Sans was early. He wasn’t a guy who liked to rush, but it was easier on his soul if his blind date quietly ran off while he could pretend not to notice. The first time he got a match, he arrived late than her. The poor woman screamed and fled when he tried to approach her. That was too mortifying to risk a repeat.

So Sans sat and waited. He pretended not to notice you when you saw him and froze. He sat still and gave you plenty of time to run away if you wanted. And, for the first time, his date didn’t flee at the sight of him.

Sans risked looking at you.

Stars you was beautiful. The shape of your bodyline, the soft fluffiness of your hair, your bright, moist eyes… You was wearing a minimal amount of makeup, just used to highlight your best facial features. He could tell you didn’t need makeup; your skin was smooth and soft. He found his eyelights admiring the arch of your eyebrows and the shape of your nose, the soft fullness of your lips.

And you had the prettiest yellow soul he’d seen in this city.

You really looked uncomfortable, but you were trying to put on a brave face, and that lifted his spirits a little.

_Better ease her into it gently._

“Heya, pal,” he tried to sound warm and welcoming. “You must be my blind date for the evening.”

He saw your eyes widen in surprise and focus on his fixed smile. You were trying to figure out how he could talk. It was a look he got a lot from humans.

“Uh, yeah,” your voice cracked, and you cleared your throat. “Yeah. My name is (y/n).”

 _Off to a surprisingly good start. Alright, keep being a friendly, happy skeleton._ “The name’s Sans. Sans the skeleton. Nice to meet ya, (y/n).”

He held out a hand for you to shake. It was part of his automatic greeting; he didn’t think before he did it, but he did regret it after. The confidence you had slowly been building washed away. You stared down at his fleshless hand, pale and trembling, and Sans knew he’d messed up.

_Right. Fucking right. Okay, fuck. Take a step back. Give her an out._

He retracted his hand and tried to give you an encouraging smile. “Sorry. Uh, not used to monsters?”

You looked deeply apologetic. “I, uh, really haven’t met many, no. I honestly didn’t expect to match with one first thing.”

Okay. You were still willing to play along. Still doing his best to keep from scaring you, he spoke casually, “That’s fine, we can take it slow. Why don’t you take a seat?”

_Now’s your chance to leave, lady._

But you didn’t leave. You actually sat at the table with him. This was already going better than any date Sans had ever been on with a human, but you still looked really nervous. So he told you a joke. And you laughed.

Stars did you laugh. You laughed like it was the best joke you’d heard in your entire life, and the sound was _magical_. He hadn't truly known how much he had missed hearing people laugh around him until you did, and his soul hummed with joy.

Sans leaned back in his chair and put his hands in his pockets, feeling in a really good mood all of a sudden.

“There, that’s better. You looked like you needed a little icebreaker to help you loosen up.”

“Thanks,” you wiped a tear from your eye, “I really did.”

He fired off another joke to blow away the last of your nervousness, and from there you seemed actually willing to interact with him. Granted, most of what you said revolved around your curiosity, but curiosity was easier to handle than fear. He answered your questions and explained things patiently, and eventually he got you to talk about yourself.

He found out what you did for a living, how long you’d stayed in this city, and how old you were. You weren’t the only one who was starting to relax and open up, either. Sans’s friendly attitude was becoming less forced as more words passed between you.

He was starting to actually enjoy himself, and he really didn’t want to ruin it.

He hesitated to eat in front of you when his food arrived. Humans _really_ didn’t like when he looked like he could bite them. But you didn’t freak out. Your nervousness seemed to be gone. He drank in your smile, your twinkling eyes, and your pulsing soul, and the wall he’d unconsciously put up around himself broke down.

You continued to joke, and complain, and talk about what you enjoyed, and Sans quickly became invested in the details of your life. It had been too long since he’d been so friendly and personal with another person, let alone one of the humans he craved, and he was _actually fucking happy_.

By the end of the night, he had fallen for you. But the night ending meant you had to get home.

“So, uh,” you said suddenly, “It’s getting kind of late.”

He felt his soul pulse weaken. Suddenly, he was hit by the realization that you were going to leave and he would never see you again. But being clingy was never good, so he tried to play it off like he wasn’t falling apart inside. “Oh, yeah. You probably want to get home, huh?”

“Yeah.” You fished around in your purse. Looking for car keys, perhaps? No, you took your phone out. Calling a ride? No?

You slid the phone over to him, and he couldn’t believe what his nonexistent ears were hearing.

“Could I maybe have your number so we can chat and stuff?”

 _Seriously?_ He didn’t know he’d said his thoughts out loud until you nodded at him. He couldn’t enter the number himself, since you had one of those infuriating touchscreens humans were so fond of, but you were willing to type it in for him. You even sent him a text on the spot so he’d have your number too.

This was unbelievable! Sans was over the fucking moon. Such a charming and friendly human had actually given him the time of day. The thought alone that you liked his company made his soul thump faster in his rib cage.

But you pulled him out of his naïve bliss with a metaphorical bucket of cold water.

“Look, I don’t want to lead you on, so I’m gonna be upfront about this. I’m not really… interested, but I want to try being friends. You seem like a cool guy, Sans.”

Oh… of course. Wow, did he feel stupid. No, it made total sense. He _liked_ humans. He’d never been with one, but he’d found them attractive since the first time he saw a mature human woman. Of course he would fall for you when your personality turned out to be amazing on top of that.

But, uh, from your perspective? You’d nearly fled at the sight of him. He’d clearly won your kind feelings with his good humor and easygoing attitude, but expecting more than friendliness was stupid. After all, that would require you be _attracted_ to him. Amazing how that had slipped his mind.

But friend status was more than he’d been offered _ever_  with a human woman, and he wasn’t going to lose that too.

“Friends is fine,” he said in a gentle, understanding tone. “I’m just glad you gave me a chance. You looked like you were gonna bail when you first got here.”

“Oh god, you saw that?” You hid your face behind your hands in embarrassment, and it was just so damn cute.

“Well,” he chuckled, “You were standing there _awhile_.”

“I’m sorry! It’s just— I’m sorry!”

Just that he was a creepy skeleton monster, right?

“Hey, it’s fine,” he waved dismissively. “I get it. Like I said, I’m grateful you stuck through it. We got to know each other a little bit, and I think you seem pretty cool yourself. I’d love to stay in contact.”

Sans stood up from his chair and walked around to your side of the table. You stood up quickly, and for a moment, he was worried you were going to bolt, but it looked like you were just standing to be polite. You were taller than him by a few inches, but what else was new? And Sans was sure you’d look beautiful from any angle.

Sans held out his hand for you to shake in parting. You two had made a lot of progress over the course of the night, and you hadn’t looked frightened for over an hour, so he thought you might actually take it. He honestly just wanted to hold your hand for a moment: he wanted to know if it was as soft as it looked; if it was warm.

He saw your yellow soul twitch, the ethics built into it telling you to be polite and reciprocate, to do the correct thing. But he watched as your face turned white and your fingers shook and you stuffed your hands in your pockets.

Sans’s eyelights flickered down to his hand: thin, jointed digits held together with nothing but magic. If you weren’t afraid, then you must be disgusted, right? He didn’t know which thought hurt worse. Either way, you made it more than clear that you didn’t want to touch him.

And he had let himself think he had a chance with you. Ha! He really was an idiot.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured. “I’m such an asshole.”

“If you’re not comfortable with touching, I’ll respect your boundaries.” Even now, Sans controlled his voice and expression so you wouldn’t know how much you’d hurt him. There was no point in you both being miserable. “It was nice meeting you, (y/n).”

You smiled weakly at him. “You too, Sans. Thanks for the good time.”

Right, friends. At least you could still be friends. Sans’s smile relaxed a little. “No problem. If you ever need more fantastic jokes, just hit me up. And, uh...” You had a yellow soul, so honesty was probably something you valued. He might as well aim to match you blow for blow.

“I want to be upfront too.” Sans rocked a little on the heels of his feet, “If you ever change your mind about just being friends, let me know. Because I think you’re smart and beautiful, and you have a great laugh.” He winked at you.

“W-wow. Um, thanks. I’m not that great though.”

You were embarrassed by a little compliment, blushing and fiddling with your hands. It was so cute. Why was everything you did so cute?

Sans laughed and gave you a sly grin, “Buddy, that’s the best joke you’ve told all night.” He turned on his heels and started out ahead of you. “Talk to you later, I guess.”

“Goodbye... Sans,” you called to him softly.

 

 

Sans stepped out of the establishment and immediately teleported back home, dropping himself directly onto the couch. That couldn’t have gone much better, and it could have gone so much worse. He held up the hand he’d tried to offer you and exhaled listlessly, slowly curling the white bones into a loose fist, turning it over, and stretching his phalanges out again.

Maybe eventually he could work his way up from friends. Or maybe, even as a friend, you’d eventually be willing to hold his hand.

He hadn’t understood, in the beginning, why humans would hesitantly shake hands with a cat monster or a bunny monster but would look at him like he was carrying some kind of disease. Some less friendly humans made sure he found out quickly. Apparently, when human remains were left rotting in the ground for a long time, you were left with their skeleton. So, he looked like a long-dead human; there was strike one.

And _apparently_ some humans had a thing for, uh, playing with human remains. Obviously that was disgusting (you didn’t disrespect a monster’s dust like that), and there was an understandable negative stigma attached to it. It was just unlucky for Sans that his appearance meant he got hit with some of that stigma too. So whenever he expressed interest in a human, they got uncomfortable. Strike two.

And then there was the thing that kept him up at night. Even if he did somehow find a human who would return his affections and wanted to go the rest of the way with him, he didn’t have the parts to follow through the way she would inevitably want. Humans were high-key obsessed with their genitalia, so not having any was a big strike three.

Sans thought of your beautiful face, body, and soul and sighed, rolling onto his side and resolving to just stop thinking about it and take a nap.

 

 

Sans dreamt about you last night. He’d only met you once and you were already sneaking into his dreams. It wasn’t an innocent dream, either.

Sans rolled off the couch and stripped out of his clothes from last night. They were still clean. Dry bones didn’t really get things dirty, which was great because he hated doing the laundry. The skeleton hung his suit back up in the back of his closet and threw on a very typical casual outfit for himself: a white T-shirt, blue jacket, and black basketball shorts.

It was already past eleven. Guess he hadn’t wanted that dream to end. You should be awake by now, right? If possible, Sans wanted to see you again--just for a few minutes. If you rejected him, he would just stay in and be lazy like usual, but it couldn’t hurt to just ask if you wanted to meet up.

He pulled out his phone.

 

Sans 11:21am

good morning

 

To his delight, you replied almost immediately.

 

You 11:21am

It’s noon tho

 

Sans 11:21am

ya, but i just woke up

 

You 11:21am

Yeah, me 2

 

He was lost in thought for a moment as he imagined you sleeping in for the same reason he had. He chuckled at the thought. _Yeah right. Probably had a nightmare about me instead._

 

You 11:22am

So what’s up?

 

Alright, this was the moment of truth. Sans tried to keep his phalanges from shaking as he pressed the send button.

 

Sans 11:22am

since we both just woke up, wanna go get some coffee?

 

His soul pounded against his rib cage. Every second he waited felt like a whole minute, and magical sweat started to bead on his skull. He desperately reigned in his thoughts from wandering and waited in blank anticipation for your reply.

 

You 11:22am

Sure. Where?

 

Stars, you said yes?! His magic was positively humming, and he quickly typed out a response.

 

Sans 11:22am

place by the park?

 

Another moment spent waiting with baited breath, but you didn’t disappoint.

 

You 11:22am

Sounds good. I can be there in five?

 

Sans 11:22am

cool. c u then

 

Sans flipped his phone shut and fistpumped, eyelights round and sparkling. He almost teleported to the place right then and there, but stopped for a second. He found the only full-length mirror in his apartment and gave himself an evaluating lookover. This was a typical casual look for him, but what would a human see?

In his experience, the less of his body he was showing, the better, so he traded his basketball shorts out for some sweatpants. Alright. He looked like a lazy, easygoing skeleton. Not exactly sexy, but definitely not intimidating, and that was the important thing. Satisfied, he teleported outside the coffee shop and waited against the wall.

Like you promised, you were there in five minutes. You’d had the same idea as him this morning and were dressed in warm, comfortable clothes. Still, he readily admitted that your outfit was cuter than his. Or maybe that was just because you were wearing it. You would look good in anything you wore, he was certain.

Sans pushed off the wall and waved in greeting. You smiled and waved back. The fact that you’d reciprocated already put him in a better mood, but he could tell you were a little tense. Good thing he knew what the best medicine for that was.

“Hey, why do they call coffee “mud”?”

An amused smile teased at your soft lips. “Why?” You asked.

“Because it was ground just a few minutes ago.”

There was a short pause as you dissected the joke, and then you burst out laughing. That was quickly becoming his new favorite sound, and his grin widened on hearing it.

“Alright, but seriously though, let’s go in and order something. I’m not supposed to be talking to people before I have my coffee.”

“Ugh, you and me both,” you groaned playfully.

He held the door for you and you smiled, so he teased you a little bit.

“Ladies first,” he winked.

You teased him back, and the words just tumbled out of your mouth. “Wow, chivalry really _is_ dead.”

He almost didn’t believe what he’d heard. You’d just joked about him being a skeleton. Sure, it was a _little_ racist, but it was funny, too! Sans felt himself washed with relief. If you could joke about something, it meant you were comfortable with it to some extent.

Relief relaxed him, and the joke was one he hadn’t heard before (and he’d heard almost all the skeleton jokes), and so he laughed more than he’d been able to in a long time.

“Wow, uh,” Sans struggled to speak between fits of giggles, “that’s a new one.” He stepped inside and shut the door, then abruptly decided to play off your newfound confidence. “Come on, I’m dead on my feet here.”

Sans took his place in line with you behind him, and the man in front looked curiously over his shoulder. He and Sans made eye contact, and he felt his metaphorical stomach sink. _Dude, please be cool. I just got her in a good mood._

He tried his best to give the human a friendly smile, but the blood drained from the man’s face. He scrambled to make some distance, but at least he didn’t leave the line or do anything noisy.

Sans sighed through his nasal hole and made sure to let the guy have his space. The line was moving pretty quickly, which was good because nobody liked standing around in line—especially not when they’re waiting on coffee. Sans’s order was simple, and he smiled as he told it to the barista.

“Hi. I’d like a black coffee, please.”

He watched the girl’s slack-jawed expression and tilted his head. “I said I’d like a black coffee, please.”

“Oh! Fuck, yeah,” the girl snapped out of it and tapped on her POS screen, rattling off his total. _Glad she’s being professional about it,_ Sans thought, swiping his card while the girl poured his coffee.

He saw she was done and started to lift his arm to take the cup from her, but the girl bit her lip and set the cup down on the counter, pulling her arms back so there was plenty of neutral space between them.

Sans’s eyelights flickered and he took back what he’d said about her professionalism. But he wasn’t going to put her on the spot about it either, so he took his coffee and smiled faintly at you.

“I’ll be by the window.”

Sans chose a relatively empty part of the shop to sit in. The more he freaked people out, the more awkward it would get between him and you, and he didn’t want that at all. Better to try and avoid trouble before it could find him.

His efforts felt a little wasted, though. The moment he sat down, he saw several humans stand up from their table across the room and hurry outside. His eyelights tracked them, dim and offended, but he tried to just focus on the warmth and smell of his coffee instead.

You ordered what you wanted, paid, and came over to join him, but it was clear the events from earlier were making you feel awkward.

“How did the hipster burn his tongue?” Might as well repeat what worked last time.

You forced a small smile. “How?”

“He drank his coffee before it was cool.”

You laughed and Sans’s mood started to turn up again. Seeing you and hearing your voice made all of that bullshit worth it.

But for some reason you didn’t want to just pretend it hadn’t happened like he was content to do.

“That wasn’t okay,” you told him in a quiet voice. “None of that was okay.”

 _I really don’t want to talk about it._ Sans shrugged and tipped his cup back, distracting himself with the heat that would probably burn a human. “Well, if all they’re gonna do is look scared and avoid me, I can live with that.” Stars knew he’d had worse.

“You shouldn’t have to,” you pushed, frowning and worrying your bottom lip. “I know I don’t really have any right to say that, since I’m not really any better. But I still know right from wrong when I see it, and that was wrong.”

Sans chuckled. He’d forgotten that you had a yellow soul. Of course you wouldn’t let stuff like that slide. _But_ I _still don’t want to talk about it._

He propped his chin up on his knuckles and met your eyes, smiling wryly. “You really don’t have to worry about it, (y/n). Wanna know why?”

“Why?” You leaned in as if mirroring him, a smile teasing your lips.

“Because I’m having a good time.” He sipped his coffee and winked, “I’m here with you, after all. Nothing else is gonna ruin that for me.”

Your face turned red and you panicked, stuffing the remaining half of your pastry into your mouth all at once. Then you started to choke, so you took a big gulp of coffee and spluttered as you burned your mouth.

_Fuck. Too much?_

“You okay there, buddy?” Sans smiled at you worriedly.

“I was not expecting that,” you said flatly. “You’re not allowed to be that smooth. I’m banning it. No more. I’ll die next time.”

Sans’s lazy grin returned now that you were joking about it. If you reacted like that because you thought he was _smooth_  (and not, say, repulsive), well then that was great news.

“Cool, we’ll match,” he joked absently. Sans drained the rest of his coffee and pointed out the window to the park across the street. “Wanna park ourselves somewhere else?”

He could still feel people staring at him, and he didn’t want to risk anything else happening to make you feel awkward again. Besides, humans liked walks through the park, right?

You nodded and followed him outside, strolling together in peaceful quiet until you found a place to sit down. Then you took the initiative to start a conversation.

“It’s a shame it isn’t warmer. There are lots of flowers around here in the spring, and the fountain would be running.”

Oh. Shit, it was autumn. It must be cold out. No wonder you were clutching your coffee like that and nobody else was around. Temperature wasn’t something he was used to accommodating for, since his bones weren’t really sensitive to it.

He searched for something to distract him from worrying if you were cold and remembered a joke. “Hey, what kind of flower grows on your face?”

Your teasing smile egged him on. “What?”

“Tulips,” he grinned, while watching the way yours moved. They really did look soft, but they also looked plump and round. If he pinched them, would they burst? Were they as delicate as they looked?

Luckily you said something before his thoughts got too carried away.

“Alright. I’ve got one.”

“Hit me.”

You explained all about a kind of joke called “blonde jokes” and then told him the one you had in mind. It was pretty good, and he made a mental note to learn a few for later. They sounded a lot like temmie jokes, but less offensive because blondes weren’t actually as stupid as they sounded within the context of the jokes.

Temmie jokes were funny, but you always felt a little bad laughing at them. Temmies were good monsters, and they couldn’t help that they were, well, temmies.

 

 

He was having a good time, but you’d finished your coffee, and apparently that was your cue to go.

“I should probably get going. It’s kind of chilly out here.”

He cursed inwardly at the revelation that you really were cold. Maybe he should have stayed in the coffee shop? Would you stay and chat with him longer if he hadn’t asked you to come out here?

But he knew he couldn’t keep you. He’d asked for coffee and that was it. The coffee was gone so he had to let you go.

“Alright. Thanks for coming out with me today, (y/n). I had a good time.”

“Yeah, I did too.”

Sans really loved that you said things like that. He needed to know when he could hear you say them again.

“So, I work tomorrow and every other week day, but I was hoping maybe we could meet up on Saturday?”

“Well, I didn’t have any plans. What did you want to do together?”

“I was thinking dinner and a movie. Something easy, to unwind after working all week.”

It was a proven fact that watching a movie was a terrible date activity. It was fine if you already knew somebody and just wanted to relax together, but if you were still trying to get to know somebody, it offered no bonding opportunities. Two people would just sit in close proximity and ignore each other for an hour and a half.

But that was perfect. Sitting in close proximity for an hour and a half with nothing stressful happening would go a long way to getting you comfortable with his presence. If any part of you was still afraid of him, watching a movie together should help.

You just had to agree to it first.

“Sure. Just text me the details, okay?”

Thank stars!

“Sounds good. See ya later, (y/n).”

“Later, Sans.”

He’d learned his lesson last night. You didn’t want to touch him, and he respected your boundaries. Maybe after a few more dates he would offer a handshake again, but he didn’t want to pressure you into doing something you weren’t comfortable with. You seemed to value politeness, so you would probably give in to that kind of peer pressure, and the results would please neither of you.

Sans started walking the opposite direction you went in. When he could no longer see you, he teleported home, wondering just what he was going to do for the rest of the day. He turned on his laptop to search for blonde jokes for a while, checked in on Papyrus and his friends on Facebook, and posted a pun in the comments to troll his pun-hating brother. Then he stared at the ceiling for about twenty minutes, trying not to think about you.

It didn’t work.

His fantasies got away from him, and he imagined you actually visiting his apartment. It was kind of messy. Would that bother you? He stood up and shuffled to the kitchen, washing two of the dishes in the sink before lethargy drowned his motivation, then he took a nap on the couch. He had a week to sleep through before he could see you again. Challenge accepted.


	4. Justice in Restaurants and Theaters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which you eat Italian and go to the movies with your bestie and a nice skelly, and why can’t people be chill?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So people really seem to like this fic? And I'm thrilled about that! :D  
> I didn't really expect anything besides my own enjoyment from this, but I've been getting lots of nice comments and that makes me really happy. Thank you all so much!
> 
> Thoughtful comments are always appreciated~ <3 Enjoy <3

“So, is there an appropriate dress code for going to the movie theater with a friend who you _know_ has a crush on you?”

Chloe moved to shrug, but you held her wrist and glared at her; she'd nearly gotten a streak of blue nail polish all the way up her middle finger. She grinned crookedly at you in a half-hearted apology.

The woman grabbed a popato chisp with her free hand and popped it into her mouth. The snack had a weird name, but it was the first monster food you’d ever eaten. Chloe had brought the bag over when you invited her, stating that it was ridiculous you’d never tried any despite befriending a skeleton monster. They tasted like potato chips but sparkled like pop rocks in your mouth. It was weird and potentially addictive. More importantly, the entire bag apparently contained only four calories, since they were mostly made of magic.

Monster food (especially junk food) was really popular with humans for that reason. You could eat as much as you wanted and not gain any weight. You were the weird one for not having tried any before now, at least, according to Chloe.

“Okay, but first,” she raised her eyebrows, “I need to know if this is a date or not?”

“It’s not a date,” you stated. “I already told you I don’t like him that way.”

“Yeah,” She drawled, “you did. But if it isn’t a date,” she forcefully took her hand back and pressed her palms together in front of her face. She sucked in a breath, exhaled through her nostrils, and rotated her wrists to point her fingers at you, “why are you going out with him _alone_?”

You blinked. “He _knows_ I’m not interested in dating him, and he said this was just for fun. What does it matter if it’s just the two of us?” You took Chloe’s hand back and started applying the top coat, and she gave you an exaggerated eye roll.

“Babe. You friend-zoned him. That means he’s going to spend your time together trying to get _out_ of the friend zone.”

“Do you want to come with, then?”

Chloe blinked her black eyes at your sudden offer. “Wait, really? You don’t mind me date-crashing you?”

“I told you, it’s not a date,” now it was your turn to roll your eyes. “Of course you can come.”

Chloe thought about it seriously. “Okay,” she said slowly. “Yeah, I’ll come. You should check first if he’s okay with it though.”

“Yeah, good point.” You pulled out your phone and shot Sans a quick text.

 

You  2:22pm

Hey, can I bring Chloe tomorrow?

She’s my best friend.

 

He must have had his phone nearby because the response came almost immediately.

 

Sans  2:22pm

sure if she’s fine with it

 

You looked back at your most precious bean and put on your business face. “He’s cool with it, but you can’t freak out okay? He’s pretty chill about everything, but it’s still rude to stare and stuff.”

“I’m not gonna freak out,” Chloe insisted. “I know he’s a skeleton monster. I’m prepared for it.”

“If you’re sure,” a smile slipped back onto your face, “then it’ll be super cool to let him meet you. If my friends become friends, that’s literally the best.”

 

You  2:23pm

She knows about you, and she says she’ll be cool.

 

Sans  2:23pm

cool. cant wait 2 meet her

is she gonna come eat with us first?

 

“Hey, you’re coming for dinner before the movie, right?”

“Duh. It won’t be proper date-crashing if I miss dinner,” she popped another chisp into her mouth.

 

You  2:23pm

Yeah, she’s coming.

See ya tomorrow :)

 

Sans  2:24pm

c u (y/n)

 

“How does a skeleton even eat, anyway?”

Chloe pulled her long hair out of its bun and turned to face away from you. You took up your brush and started detangling her silky black hair.

“It turns into magic as soon as it’s in his mouth. It’s kinda weird to watch, actually.” Chloe hummed in agreement and you giggled, remembering your blind date with the skeleton man. “He was worried he would scare me when he opened his mouth.”

“What’s scary about that?”

You put the brush down and started to braid, using each of your fingers fluidly.

“Well, his mouth is usually fused shut. I have no idea how he talks, but it’s probably magic. He hadn’t opened his mouth at all until the food came out, and I didn’t know if he could.” You paused to think. “I’m not sure what part exactly he was worried would scare me. It kind of made a sound when he opened it? And some of his teeth were kind of sharp, I guess.” You shrugged, “he’s so off-putting already that it didn’t really add anything.”

“Weird. It’ll be kinda cool to see that in person.”

“Remember not to stare too much,” you scold her, tying the fishtail braid off with a hairband. “Well, he’ll probably forgive you if you stare just a little.”

Chloe held up a hand mirror and admired her completed makeover, then turned around and grinned. “Beautiful, babe. Your turn.”

 

You and Chloe were dressed somewhere between casual and nice. You'd been struggling to find something you liked at your place, so you’d come over to hers to borrow something to wear. Chloe was shorter than you, so some of her cutest stuff didn’t fit quite right, but you managed to find something you liked better than what you already had. Since you'd have to drive your car back at the end of the night either way, you were chauffeuring.

“Turn left at the light,” Chloe called out. The passenger gets to navigate. House rules… so to speak.

You turned, and the app Chloe was using gave a pleasant ring. “And we’re here! Look, I see a spot!”

You pulled in and put your car in park, shooting Sans a text.

 

You  5:04pm

Hey, we’re here

 

Sans  5:04pm

cool. im already inside

back left booth

 

“Alright. He’s inside already.”

“I’m kinda excited, to be honest,” Chloe grinned. “Before this, the only monster I ever met was a rabbit guy, and we talked for all of thirty seconds.”

You guided your friend into the restaurant and shushed her repeatedly as you approached the service podium.

“Table for two?” the woman asked brightly.

“We’re actually meeting someone,” you replied. “Can we just go back?”

“Oh, sure! Go right ahead. Someone will be by to take your orders shortly.”

“Thanks.” You took Chloe’s arm and tried to navigate between the tables in the direction Sans had told you to go. Finally, you spotted him, and Chloe and you both stopped moving.

It had been a full week since you’d last seen the skeleton monster, and you’d apparently de-acclimated during that time. You were going to have to get used to his appearance again. Chloe wasn’t doing so well either. There was no sign of the confidence and excitement she’d been showcasing earlier.

“I’m, uh, having second thoughts,” her lips twitched in a lopsided smile.

You took a deep breath, reminding yourself that Sans was a cool and nice guy who respected boundaries and definitely wouldn’t do anything to scare you. You exhaled, put on a brave face, and squeezed Chloe’s arm.

“It’s going to be fine. Like I said, he’s a good guy.” You looked at her seriously, feeling her trembling slightly under your hold. “Are you okay to do this, babe? Do you need to leave?”

“Fuck,” she breathed quietly. “I said I was gonna do this, so I am.”

“Okay.” You gave her another reassuring squeeze and a smile and resumed a slow approach to the secluded table Sans had snatched.

The skeleton man was dressed casually in jeans and the same blue jacket from last time. He was leaning back lazily in his chair with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, examining the checkered pattern on the tablecloth. He noticed you coming closer and looked up, the lights in his eye sockets glowing brighter.

“Hey, (y/n),” he waved lazily. His eyelights shifted down and over, “You must be Chloe. Nice to meet you. The name’s Sans.”

Chloe suddenly found her bracelet extremely interesting. As long as she wasn’t looking directly at him, she regained her ability to speak, albeit quietly. “Yeah, that’s me. (y/n) told me a lot about you.” She fidgeted, “It’s a little different in person.”

Sans smiled hesitantly and his eyelights flickered to you.

“How about a joke to ease her into it,” you proposed, guiding Chloe to sit in the seat diagonally across from Sans, while you took the seat directly across. You were settling back into your usual technique of pretending Sans wasn’t just a skeleton, paying attention to the easy things like the lights in his eye sockets and his smooth, deep voice.

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” he shrugged. “Since we’re in an Italian place… What do you call a dodgy neighborhood in Italy?”

You played along readily. “What?”

“A spaghetto.”

Chloe chuckled with equal measure nerves and amusement, and you snorted briefly.

“Oh, come on, you can do better than that. Don’t you have anything more clever?”

His eyelight sparkled at the challenge. “Okay, how about this one? What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pockets?”

“What?”

“Mute.”

You barked out a laugh once you understood the implication, and Chloe lost her absolute shit beside you. She was laughing too hard to breathe and pounded her leg with her fist just to do something with the extra energy.

“Okay, better,” you smiled, listening to your bestie cackle. 

“Oh my god!” she gasped, “I love racist jokes! Know any Chinese ones?”

She met eyes with Sans and didn’t look the least bit afraid anymore. His eyelights became significantly brighter and his grin widened. “You asked,” he warned mischievously.

Sans told a few Chinese jokes, then Chloe picked up confidence and told some skeleton jokes, and then they traded. Naturally Sans had heard all the skeleton jokes and Chloe had heard all the Chinese jokes, so shit got real when they both brought their A game. You couldn’t fit a word in yourself, but you were too busy laughing to breathe, let alone care.

After a while, though, you noticed that nobody had been by to take any of your orders, and you were getting kind of hungry.

“I wonder what’s taking them so long,” you muttered, and you saw Sans’s grin fall a bit. He smiled, but it was a little strained at the edges. Honestly, it was hard to see; you could only tell because you’d spent a while studying his expressions.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Hey, I’m going to go to the restroom for a bit.” You and Chloe gave him the blankest of blank looks and he chuckled. “Just tell the server I want spaghetti and a pinot grigio if he stops by.”

Sans stood up and left, and you and Chloe shared a look.

“But he’s a skeleton,” she stated.

“Yeah,” you pondered. “Maybe the server took so long that his medicine wore off? He could have left to take more.”

“Medicine?" Chloe looked kindly concerned. "Is he sick?”

“Not that I know of. It’s something he has to take before eating human food. I don't know how it works but,” you shrugged, “it helps, I guess.”

You lapsed into silence, but it wasn’t two minutes before the server finally showed himself to take your orders.

A minute later, Sans reappeared.

“Hey. The server came when you were gone. We ordered for you,” you informed him with a smile.

“Oh, great.” He grinned, then smiled wickedly at Chloe, “I remembered some more jokes when I was gone.”

“Yes! Dude, please tell me!” Chloe leaned in and laced her fingers under her chin, an evil grin on her face.

Your friends joked around for several more minutes, and they seemed to be having a good time. But occasionally you saw Sans drumming his boney fingers on the table, and it almost seemed like he was impatient or something. After a while, he stood up again.

“Bathroom?” you cocked your head.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Shouldn’t take long.”

Sans disappeared again to do whatever skeletons do in the bathroom, and, like magic, the server arrived with your food. Sans returned shortly after the server left, and your brain was quickly putting together the pieces. When your monster friend sat down again, you slammed your hand on the table, indignant rage painted all over your expression.

“No!” you exclaimed, eyes locking on Sans. He looked incredibly anxious at your outburst, shrinking under your gaze. “They’re avoiding you?!”

Sans smiled faintly and gave a shy chuckle, and Chloe’s head snapped toward you, wearing a similar look of disgust. “Wait, are you fucking kidding me? That’s why we’ve been sitting here so long?”

Sans scratched the back of his head, and it made a dull scraping sound that would have made you flinch if you weren’t so angry. “Yeah, uh, that happens sometimes. Sorry to drag you into it.”

You felt like there was fire in your lungs and the only way to expel it was to speak your indignation. “Why are _you_ apologizing?! Fuck! I’m so mad right now! I should talk to their manager about this!”

Chloe nodded emphatically beside you, “Babe, I’ll go with you.”

Sans put his hands up defensively and raised his voice enough to be heard, “Hold on a minute!”

You almost glared at the poor guy but stopped yourself. The fact that the person who should be the most offended was dissuading you dampened your mood somewhat, but Sans was giving you the flattest grin you’d ever seen, and you thought he might even be trying to frown at you.

“Sans,” you scolded, “you’re a nice guy. You’re considerate and polite and a lot more patient than I am. I know you don’t want to ruin anybody’s night or draw too much attention, so you just stay here and relax. Chloe and I are going to go have a talk with the manager.”

He searched your expression worriedly and then sighed, running a hand over his face. “If you say so, pal.”

He sounded resigned rather than convinced, so you smiled warmly at him. “It’ll be fine. I’ll handle it.”

So you went and had a chat with the manager. For Sans’s sake, you kept yourself civil, but firm. Your server was switched to someone actually willing to _do their job_ , and you were given half the price off your meal and a coupon for a free dessert. Sans looked pretty nervous when you got back, but you assured him that you’d worked everything out.

“You should stand up for yourself more, Sans,” you told him with a troubled frown.

He just chuckled dryly. “That’s not easy with a soul like mine, (y/n).”

 _What did souls have to do with it?_ you wondered. You’d heard something about human souls being stronger than monster souls, but you were behind on all that information. Could monsters just be more timid than humans? “You mean how monster souls are supposed to be weaker than human souls or something?”

“No, I’m talking about soul traits. Mine is patience and yours is justice. That’s why you feel compelled to right any wrongs you see in front of you, and I’d rather just wait it out.”

You raised an eyebrow curiously. “How do you know my soul trait is justice?”

“Your soul is yellow,” he shrugged. “Yellow stands for justice. It’s not exactly complicated.”

“Okay, but how do you know my soul is yellow?”

“Uh,” his eyelights flickered dimmer at you for a second in confusion, “because I can see it? It’s right there next to your heart.” You automatically covered your chest with your hands and Sans tilted his head at you. “Did you not know monsters can see souls?”

You shook your head, but Chloe nodded. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask. What’s my soul trait? There are, like, no monsters around here to check it for me.”

Sans’s gaze flickered to Chloe’s chest for a moment, and he pointed casually, “Dark blue. Means your soul trait is integrity.”

“Ha! I called it!” she mini-fisted.

You lowered your hand and looked down at your chest in befuddlement. Then you hummed and picked up your fork. “I really need to get up to date on all this magic and soul stuff,” you murmured, spearing some noodles with the utensil.

“I mean, I _could_ just sit around explaining it all to you,” Sans started, “but we’ll be late to the movie if we don’t hurry up and eat already.”

He started spinning some noodles on his fork and spared a glance at Chloe. “Hey, uh--”

“Dude, (y/n) told me about it. Go ahead; I’ve been waiting all night to see this.”

Sans smiled timidly, and your ears started to pick up on a low and strangely displaced cracking sound. This time you knew where it was originating from, but your knowledge still refused to synch with your senses up until the moment his mouth split open. He put his pasta wrapped fork between his teeth and pulled it back clean, no chewing necessary.

“That’s so weird,” Chloe breathed. “Hey, why doesn’t your mouth just stay like that all the time?” That was a good question, and you found yourself waiting curiously for his answer.

Sans shrugged. “Why do you close your eyes when you sneeze?”

She blinked. “I don’t know? I guess it would be uncomfortable if I tried to force myself not to.”

“Exactly.” He took another bite. “It’s like that.”

You were kind of running late at that point, so you hurried and ate your food, opting to save the dessert coupon for another day. Each of you paid your checks and stood up to go, and Chloe let out a triumphant laugh out of nowhere. You and Sans looked at her curiously.

She grinned evilly and explained, “I’m not the shortest person in the group for once!”

You gave a hesitant chuckle, and Sans shrugged good-naturedly.

He promised to meet you both at the theater, and you split ways. As you deposited yourself behind the wheel of your car, Chloe giggled at something inside her own head and buckled her seatbelt.

“Okay, you were right,” she grinned, “he’s a cool guy. I feel bad for freaking out earlier.”

“Yeah?” You smiled mischievously, pulling out of your parking space. “Would you date him?”

She laughed hesitantly, dryly. “Uh, he’s all yours, babe.”

“Right,” you rolled your eyes. Maybe you should help him meet new people just like this. Eventually, _somebody_ would be into a guy who was just bones, right? You could be his wingwoman. “Just pull up the map, okay?”

“I know the way. Take a right here.”

 

When you pulled into the theater parking lot, Sans was already out front, leaning against the wall waiting for you. How he beat you there with a lead that big, you had _no_ idea, and you told him as much when you came within earshot.

“Sans, how the hell did you get here so fast? We left at the _same_ time!”

He shrugged lazily, and you felt like he was teasing you somehow. “I know a shortcut,” he drawled.

“Well, uh, can you let me in on it?” Chloe pried. “I thought I knew this area pretty well.”

His eyelights flickered, like he hadn’t expected to be pressed on the issue. “Uh,” he started slowly, “there’s no shortcut. I was joking.” Before you or Chloe could question him again, he volunteered the information, “I used magic to teleport. That’s how I got here first.”

“That’s… seriously?”

He nodded at you like it was no big deal.

“I’m so fucking jealous,” Chloe spat and you nodded in agreement.

“Heh. People with internal organs and all that tend to have a bad time,” he warned them, pulling his phone out of his pocket to check the clock. “We should head in.”

You agreed to temporarily drop the topic (though you were definitely going to bring it up again some other time) and head inside the theater to buy your tickets.

The pimple-faced teenage guy who sold you your tickets was too antisocial to even look up at your group. He just scowled down at his phone and couldn’t give a crap that you had a living skeleton along for the ride. Today at least, you were grateful for people like that.

You wished the rest of the experience could be as smooth, but the person in charge of collecting ticket stubs was the same type as the barista in the coffee shop. Sans tried to hand the guy his ticket, but he took a step back and refused to take it. His brown skin did an impressive Michael Jackson impersonation.

Sans’s smile weakened and he tore the ticket himself, offering the man the stub he was obligated to collect. The guy just kind of stood there, clearly weighing in his mind if it would be worth it to run away and lose his job.

Soon, you’d had enough of that. Hot fire filled your chest and you took the ticket stub from Sans yourself, forcefully handing it to the guy. He looked at you like his brain had stopped functioning and finally stepped aside for you to pass. You refused to look at the man again as you pushed on, Chloe and Sans quietly hurrying to keep up with you.

After you’d gone a little way down the hall, Sans spoke up. “Um, thanks, (y/n). I didn’t expect you to do something like that.”

You huffed, still a little angry. “I just wanted to show that guy that he was making a big deal out of nothing. All he had to do was collect your damn ticket stub! It’s not like you were asking him to hug you or some shit.”

Sans looked at you strangely and turned his head forward. “Yeah... thanks.”

You found your theater and claimed your seats. Sans sat on one end, you beside him, and Chloe on your other side. The previews were still going at that time, but the movie you’d settled on seeing was an action film. Sans had insisted no horror and you had insisted no romance (you _were_ still aware that Sans liked you and you wanted to keep this from turning into a date). That just left action and comedy from the films currently playing, but the comedies were all romcoms, so they were out.

Once the previews were over, the lights in the room dimmed. You couldn’t decide if Sans’s eyelights glowing brightly in the dark were creepy or beautiful.

The movie was pretty exciting. More than once you regretted not buying popcorn, but you were still full from dinner. At some point, Chloe leaned over and nudged you, then pointed to your side.

Sans was fucking sleeping.

Who sleeps during an action movie?! They’re supposed to be  _exciting_.

You thought about waking him but decided against it. If he missed all the cool parts, it was his own fault. Besides, maybe he really was worn out from work and was using this time to relax, just like he’d told you last week.

After the movie ended, though, you couldn’t avoid it anymore.

“Sans,” you said in a stage whisper. Then, a little louder, “ _Sans_.”

Nothing.

You didn’t really want to raise your voice in public area, so you took a deep breath, lifted your hand, and briefly pushed on his upper arm to shake him awake.

Oh, god, the jacket was thick but you could _tell_ there was nothing but bone under there. Your stomach turned at the unnaturalness of that, anxiety and mild nausea assaulting you more suddenly than you’d expected.

But at least Sans had opened his eye sockets.

His eyelights flickered into being, reminding you of a human blinking away sleep. He was startled for a moment. Did he forget he’d fallen asleep in the theater? He seemed to calm down and get his bearings though.

“What did I miss?” he chuckled. His voice was deep and gravelly after just waking up.

“Oh, just _half the movie_ ,” you scolded him, frowning, forcing your discomfort down to a part of your psyche where you wouldn’t have to acknowledge it. “Who sleeps through an action film?!”

He chuckled. “Sorry. I expected something more exciting.”

“Like what, the pure distilled essence of Michael Bay?” Chloe quipped.

You barked out a laugh and Sans snorted. “No idea who that is. But seriously, my little bro does stuff like that every day.”

“Fighting?” Chloe pressed.

“He spars with the captain of the royal guard every morning.”

“Car chases?”

“He owns a convertible that he takes to the racetracks on weekends.”

Her face started to go slack with awe. “Explosions?”

“Yyyep,” he turned his eyelights away. “He’s been getting better about that, though.”

“What does your brother _do_ for a living?” You exclaimed softly.

“He’s a member of the royal guard. Kind of like a monster cop? He lives in Ebbot City, patrolling, breaking up fights, and helping out anybody who needs it. He’s super cool.”

Okay, interesting. You hadn’t known Sans had a brother. “What’s his name?”

“Papyrus.”

You filed the information away for later, in case you needed it, and your group started to exit the theater. While you trailed down the steps, Sans called out, “So do either of you have any siblings?”

You had an older brother who lived way up north in the middle of nowhere. You weren’t really close to him since your interests were radically different, but you got along at family reunions. Chloe, meanwhile, was an only child.

You started swapping stories with Sans about crazy things your brothers had done. From the bright lights in his sockets, you felt that he could talk about Papyrus for hours, but it was late and you had to call it a night. Before parting, Sans and Chloe traded numbers. They were going to be sharing jokes back and forth, you could already tell. You really were happy the skeleton man was finally making some friends.


	5. It's Okay to be Happy About it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which we see how Sans liked the dinner and movie, and you get attacked with kindness by a sexy voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are the Undertale fanon height measurements I’m going with for this fiction: https://steamcommunity.com/app/391540/discussions/0/154644928867077937/
> 
> Probs gonna do fewer perspective shifts after this and focus on plot progression.  
> I love comments as always <3

At the restaurant, the hostess led Sans to a secluded table near the very back. He was glad he would be somewhere where people wouldn’t stare and bother him, but he could tell he was being put there more for the other customers’ sakes than for his.

This was why he rarely ate out anymore. People around here were just too uncomfortable around monsters.

After waiting at his seat for a few minutes, Sans got a text from you.

 

You  5:04pm

Hey, we’re here

 

Sans  5:04pm

cool. im already inside

back left booth

 

To be honest, Sans was nervous about meeting this friend of yours. He really wanted to make a good impression on her. Sure, you’d assured him that she wouldn’t freak out, but he was skeptical at best. After all, humans would watch murder dramas on TV and be fine with all the blood and bodies, but if they saw a corpse in real life they would be terrified. It was some kind of primitive instinct to feel fear when faced with something reminiscent of death. The self-preservation instinct made humans forget what they’d learned about monsters being kind and peaceful, and their bodies would produce the same chemicals it would if they were in a real life-threatening situation.

And that was just their initial reaction to seeing a skeleton. Once he started moving and talking, that fear turned into something more complex. The concept was hard-wired into human brains that skeletons didn’t do those things, and so their senses and their instincts started fighting with each other, leaving a feeling of deep discomfort.

Those were facts that monsters who studied human biology had researched in the years since monsters came to the surface. These primitive fear studies had been immensely helpful when it came to integrating humans and monsters into one society. Monsters patiently helped humans understand why they were afraid, that it was okay that they were afraid, and that they didn’t have to stay afraid. Through careful education, in places with many monsters, logic won over instinct, and people were living side by side happily.

Way out here, that information wasn’t quite as well-distributed. Instead of being a tool to help Sans get along with humans, it became a painful reminder of why exactly that wasn’t going well and how helpless he was to deal with it.

Sans realized he’d been lost in thought when he saw you and an Asian-looking woman approaching his table. You had your arm linked with hers, guiding her closer with careful reassurance. It had been a whole week since he’d seen you, and his soul thrummed happily when he glanced at yours.

He’d never thought justice was a beautiful trait before he saw it painted all over your shining soul. It had always been something intimidating (you never knew what would set a justice soul on the warpath), but Sans trusted the way his soul hummed when yours was nearby. He wasn’t sure if his crush on you was the cause or the result of that trust, but he believed in what he was feeling.

“Hey, (y/n),” he waved lazily. His eyelights locked onto the shorter woman beside you, “You must be Chloe. Nice to meet you. The name’s Sans.”

Your friend wouldn’t look up at him, but she managed to speak softly. “Yeah, that’s me. (y/n) told me a lot about you.” She fidgeted, “It’s a little different in person.”

Oh, he was well aware of what she meant. Sans smiled hesitantly and flicked his eyelights over to you, looking for a sign to continue. If your friend wasn’t ready for this, he wouldn’t force her to stay.

“How about a joke to ease her into it,” you proposed. You sat Chloe down in the seat diagonally across from him, while you took the seat beside her. Your suggestion was pretty much in line with the plan he already had, so he shrugged.

“You don’t have to ask me twice. Since we’re in an Italian place… What do you call a dodgy neighborhood in Italy?”

You smiled easily, “What?”

“A spaghetto,” he grinned.

Your friend chuckled, and he was glad to get some positive reaction out of her, but you snorted and teased him.

“Oh, come on, you can do better than that. Don’t you have anything more clever?”

Sans enjoyed all kinds of jokes, but there was nothing wrong with a lady with high standards. His eyelights sparkled at the challenge. “Okay, how about this one? What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pockets?”

“What?”

His grin widened and he locked his eyes with yours, “Mute.”

You took a second to process and barked out a laugh, and Chloe completely broke down beside you. She was laughing as hard as you had the first time he’d told you a joke. _That_ kind of reaction was what he wanted from people. People being scared of him all the time was surprisingly taxing on his comedian spirit. He felt lighter now that he was in his element.

“Okay, better,” you smiled at him, and his soul hummed.

“Oh my god!” Chloe gasped for air, “I love racist jokes! Know any Chinese ones?”

She met eyes with Sans and didn’t look the least bit afraid anymore. His eyelights became significantly brighter and his grin widened. “You asked,” he warned mischievously.

Sans brought his A game, and your friend had some quality material of her own. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone besides the former Queen Toriel had matched him joke for joke. The best part about it was your endless bubbling laughter. Sans couldn’t tell if he was competing with Chloe to get you to laugh the most, or if they were working together to reduce you to a giggling mess. Either way, he was completely lost in having a good time.

It was you who pulled him back into his less-than-perfect reality.

“I wonder what’s taking them so long,” you muttered, and Sans realized that no servers had ever come by to take your orders.

“Yeah,” _Fuck_ , his jovial grin fell. _I hope I’m wrong._ “Hey, I’m going to go to the restroom for a bit.”

The look you and Chloe gave him was priceless, but he wasn’t in the mood to laugh about it. He did chuckle a little, though. “Just tell the server I want spaghetti and a pinot grigio if he stops by.”

Sans stood up and left for the bathroom, tuning out all the stares and whispers. The monster population of this city was a whopping three: a rabbit, a snowdrake, and him. People were always staring. He wasn’t sure how the other two were staying sane. Did they know each other? Were they in contact? Maybe they hid at home all day when they weren't working, like he had before meeting you.

The bathroom door swung on its hinge when he pushed it. There was nobody else inside. He let himself relax at the feeling of solitude, taking a few deep breaths.

Sans’s soul filled with patience. The frayed edges of his nerves repaired themselves, and his problems seemed smaller. He could carry on as usual. Everything was fine. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and gave himself a lazy smile.

“Hey, buddy. You’ve got this,” he winked, throwing a finger gun.

He left the bathroom and walked back to the table. You told him that the server had stopped by when he was gone. “Oh, great.”

 _Welp, looks like I got unlucky tonight. Oh well, not everybody can be as serious on the job as I am._ He grinned at his own private joke.

Sans smiled wickedly at Chloe, “I remembered some more jokes when I was gone.”

“Yes! Dude, please tell me!” Chloe leaned in and laced her fingers under her chin, an evil grin on her face.

 _I don’t have the energy to care about everything, so just caring about stuff like this is fine._ Jokes and friends were worth his time. He tried to throw himself into it, and he was having fun, but for some reason, his patience wasn’t holding.

_Probably because you’re here._

Your soul had a fast and strong pulse. He wanted you, so his soul unconsciously tried to match yours. You, erm, weren’t reciprocating. Humans could be kind of oblivious. Monster researchers had tested a few and found their magical sensitivity shockingly, _abysmally_ low. You probably couldn’t feel his soul calling out to yours at all.

Anyway, your soul just kept pumping, and his was helplessly chasing your powerful rhythm.

It was getting exhausting, so he tapped his fingers on the table, trying to guide his soul back into a slower pulse. It was working, thankfully.

Eventually, his internal clock told him their food should be ready by now, so he stood up to leave again.

“Bathroom?” you cocked your head ~~cutely~~  suspiciously at him.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Shouldn’t take long.”

The bathroom was still empty. Sans made use of the privacy to lean over the sink and pull close to the mirror. He tugged the collar of his shirt down past his clavicle and peered through the gaps in his ribs to his soul.

It was the size of his fist, shaped like an upside-down cartoon heart, and bright cyan. There were no hairline cracks, no unnatural pulses, and no signs of discoloration despite its failed attempts to synchronize with your soul earlier. Sans smiled and let his soul fade from view, backing away from the mirror.

Your soul hadn’t bothered to fight his off, and his hadn’t run itself ragged chasing you. On the most basic level, at least, you were compatible; he wasn’t completely hopeless.

Sans loitered in the bathroom for another minute or two before heading back out. All of the food you’d ordered was laid out on the table, so he sat down. You slammed your hand on the wooden surface, and the sound made him jump.

Stars, you looked _furious!_

“No!” you exclaimed, and he shrunk back, eyelights small and trembling.

_Fuck, what did I do? Why is she mad? What did I do?_

“They’re avoiding you?!” Your voice dripped like venom, but Sans was just relieved your justice-fueled anger wasn’t directed at him.

He gave a shy chuckle, and Chloe’s face shifted to mimic your fury.

“Wait, are you fucking kidding me? That’s why we’ve been sitting here so long?”

Sans scratched the back of his head somewhat timidly. “Yeah, uh, that happens sometimes. Sorry to drag you into it.”

You weren’t appeased by those words at all. “Why are _you_ apologizing?! Fuck! I’m so mad right now! I should talk to their manager about this!”

Chloe nodded emphatically beside you, “Babe, I’ll go with you.”

Sans understood that this was a private establishment, and they reserved the right to serve or turn away whoever they chose. Most places wouldn’t outright bar monsters from entering since they had the money to pay and no shop wanted a reputation for being bigoted. However, if he caused any trouble he could still get kicked out.

It was the very reason he was put in a booth at the back. ‘We’ll serve you, but we don’t want you scaring away other paying customers.’

Obviously, Sans preferred to keep his head down and not cause trouble. There weren’t a lot of monsters in this city, and he would be seen as acting for all of them. He didn’t want to make things worse for everybody.

Sans put his hands up defensively and raised his voice slightly, “Hold on a minute!” He tried to give you a discouraging look. Could you tell? His face wasn’t exactly as expressive as a human’s.

“Sans,” you used a stern, motherly tone that caught him off guard, “you’re a nice guy. You’re considerate and polite and a lot more patient than I am. I know you don’t want to ruin anybody’s night or draw too much attention, so you just stay here and relax. Chloe and I are going to go have a talk with the manager.”

He searched your expression worriedly, but your soul was brightly burning with justice. He wouldn’t be able to dissuade you, so he sighed and let his own soul fill with patience. “If you say so, pal.”

You smiled warmly at him. “It’ll be fine. I’ll handle it.”

You were gone for a few minutes, and Sans was thinking about getting a hotdog at the movies for dinner. Whether or not he got kicked out of this place, it was more important that your night wasn’t ruined.

He trusted you to defend him, he just didn’t trust the restaurant manager to listen to what you had to say. Seemed like you’d gotten lucky with a very professional manager, though, and everything turned out well.

You scolded him for being too laid back, but he just shrugged it off, making a flippant comment about his cyan soul. You looked at him like he had suddenly started speaking another language, and he could see you chewing your words.

“You mean how monster souls are supposed to be weaker than human souls or something?”

 _That’s a polite way of putting it_ , he chuckled internally. If his soul glow was like bioluminescent moss, yours was the heart of a star. It was beautiful, and it could utterly destroy him if he got too close without permission. Sans sometimes thought he was crazy for wanting to date humans despite the immense power gap, but he couldn’t help liking who and what he liked.

But, uh, you were sitting across the table clueless, so he ought to fill you in.

“No, I’m talking about soul traits. Mine is patience and yours is justice. That’s why you feel compelled to right any wrongs you see in front of you, and I’d rather just wait it out.”

You raised an eyebrow curiously. “How do you know my soul trait is justice?”

He figured you didn’t have the soul colors memorized, and shrugged. “Your soul is yellow. Yellow stands for justice. It’s not exactly complicated.”

“Okay, but how do you know my soul is yellow?”

“Uh,” that question was so simple it was hard to answer, “because I can see it? It’s right there next to your heart.” You covered your chest reflexively as if that would hide the fucking heart-shaped sun inside of you from view, and Sans realized that a miscommunication had likely occurred. “Did you not know monsters can see souls?”

You shook your head, but Chloe nodded. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask. What’s my soul trait? There are, like, no monsters around here to check it for me.”

Sans’s gaze flickered to Chloe’s chest for a moment, and he pointed casually, “Dark blue. Means your soul trait is integrity.”

“Ha! I called it!” she mini-fisted.

You lowered your hand and looked down at your chest in befuddlement. The fact that you apparently couldn’t see or feel your own soul really was strange to Sans, but it was pretty much par for humans.

“I really need to get up to date on all this magic and soul stuff,” you murmured, spearing some noodles with your fork.

“I mean, I _could_ just sit around explaining it all to you,” Sans grinned, “but we’ll be late to the movie if we don’t hurry up and eat already.”

 _If you’re ever interested, I don’t mind explaining everything to you_ , he thought, feeling his soul warm up in hopeful anticipation, _like about soulbonds and stuff._

He started spinning some noodles on his fork and then remembered about Chloe. She hadn’t seen him eat before. “Hey, uh--”

“Dude, (y/n) told me about it. Go ahead; I’ve been waiting all night to see this.”

Well alright then. Sans smiled timidly, directed his magic to open his mouth. Sometimes he envied Papyrus for not having to do this. The magic at the edges of his newly separated teeth was really sensitive, and sometimes his grin would ache after being like this for a while.

Sans took a bite of pasta and received Chloe’s fascination.

“That’s so weird,” she breathed.

Yeah, well, your lips and cheeks and tongue and all that were pretty weird from his perspective. Weird, but definitely desirable.

“Hey, why doesn’t your mouth just stay like that all the time?”

Wow, uh, he did not want to get into the topic of magically sensitive bones at the dinner table. Sans quickly deflected the question. “Why do you close your eyes when you sneeze?”

She blinked. “I don’t know? I guess it would be uncomfortable if I tried to force myself not to.”

“Exactly.” Well, no, not exactly, but it was an innocent enough approximation. “It’s like that.”

You all hurried and ate your food after that, and everyone paid their own checks. You stood up to go, and Chloe let out a triumphant laugh out of nowhere. You and Sans looked at her curiously.

She put on an evil grin and explained, “I’m not the shortest person in the group for once!”

You gave a hesitant chuckle, and Sans shrugged good-naturedly. There had been a time when his height bothered him, back when Papyrus was still growing up… and up, and up, and he felt like he was failing as the big brother somehow. But Papyrus would never look down on anyone in any sense other than a literal one, so Sans decided he wouldn’t be bothered.

Besides, he got to hear so many good short jokes and tall jokes when was a more-than-two-foot height difference between his brother and him.

“Well, I’ll see you guys at the theater,” he waved.

“See ya, Sans.”

The skeleton man turned away from your smiling faces, walked down the road a bit, turned a corner, and teleported to the meeting spot. He found a relatively comfortable section of wall to lean against and waited a few minutes for your car to pull up.

“Sans,” you stomped up to him with a fake-angry face, “how the hell did you get here so fast? We left at the _same_ time!”

He shrugged lazily and deflected the question the same way he always did. “I know a shortcut.”

“Well, uh, can you let me in on it?” Chloe pried. “I thought I knew this area pretty well.”

Oh, uh, he wasn’t used to people taking him literally. He sometimes forgot that humans weren’t used to magic being a legitimate explanation when strange things happened. 

“Uh, there’s no shortcut. I was joking.” He’d better just be straight with you two since you were so new to this kind of thing, “I used magic to teleport. That’s how I got here first.”

“That’s… seriously?”

He nodded easily at you. Magic was just a part of everyday life for monsters; it was no big deal.

“I’m so fucking jealous,” Chloe spat and you nodded in agreement.

“Heh.” He thought of you passing through the void: cold, dizzy, and completely disoriented without the use of your basic senses. “People with internal organs and all that tend to have a bad time,” he warned, pulling his phone out of his pocket to check the clock. “We should head in.”

You purchased your tickets without any problems and headed to the back of the theater. There, a man was waiting to collect the stubs as proof of payment. He took your ticket and Chloe’s without any trouble but legitimately backed away when Sans tried to hand his over, his skin tone going lighter by several shades.

_Dude, please don’t do this. Look, I’ll make it easy for you._

Sans’s tore the ticket himself, offering the man the stub he was obligated to collect, but the guy just kind of stood there, petrified. Sans considered just setting the ticket stub on the floor for the guy to pick up later and walking ahead, but you acted before he could.

In one fluid motion, you took the ticket stub from his hand and shoved it at the employee, who finally moved for your group to pass. You refused to look at the man again as you pushed on, Chloe and Sans quietly hurrying to keep up with you.

Sans wasn’t upset about the rude treatment. Any ill feelings he’d had were currently being crushed by hopeful excitement. You had willingly gotten close enough to him that you were almost in contact. He thought you would have taken longer to warm up to him--stars knew he was willing to wait longer. It put him in a really good mood.

He was careful with the way he thanked you for it, though. He didn’t want you getting overly conscious about how close you’d gotten to him if you hadn’t realized it already. “Um, thanks, (y/n). I didn’t expect you to do something like that.”

You huffed. “I just wanted to show that guy that he was making a big deal out of nothing. All he had to do was collect your damn ticket stub! It’s not like you were asking him to hug you or some shit.”

 _Oh, ouch_. Sans searched your expression and the pulse of your soul, but you didn’t seem to realize what you’d just said to him. That didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Yeah... thanks.”

You found your theater and claimed your seats. Sans sat on one end, you beside him, and Chloe on your other side. The action film you’d decided on watching wasn’t quite as exciting as Sans had been expecting, though. There was a lot of talking between characters, and some drama where the male lead was divorced, but he still loved his ex-wife and wanted her back. It reminded him of King Asgore and Toriel, which was a little funny, but besides that, it wasn’t much. The “action” was slow-paced compared to how things got whenever Undyne was visiting Papyrus, and Sans could sleep through that, so sleeping through this movie was no problem.

Your voice was really quiet compared to the loud movie, but it was right next to him, so it started to stir him awake. He was about half-conscious when he felt you push his humerus.

…

Wait, you did _what_?

Sans opened his eye sockets and his eyelights flickered on unsurely. “What did I miss?” he chuckled. His voice was deep and gravelly after just waking up. _Since when are you okay with touching me, (y/n)?_

“Oh, just half the movie,” you scolded him, frowning. “Who sleeps through an action film?!”

He chuckled. _Alright, we’re gonna pretend that didn’t just happen? I can play along._ “Sorry. I expected something more exciting.”

“Like what, the pure distilled essence of Michael Bay?” Chloe quipped.

You barked out a laugh and Sans snorted. “No idea who that is. But seriously, my little bro does stuff like that every day.”

And suddenly you were trading family stories. Sans had plenty of Papyrus; the guy was always doing something. You didn’t sound as close with your older brother, but Sans knew that what he and Paps had was special, so he wasn’t surprised.

Living away from his little brother was weird. If work hadn’t made him move away, Sans never would have left Ebbot city, but Papyrus had insisted he not quit his job just so they could keep living together. Luckily they had plans to meet up in a few weeks. It would be great to catch up.

It was late and time for everybody to part ways. Before going, Sans made sure he got Chloe’s number so they could keep in touch, trading racist jokes and whatever. Sans teleported back home for the night happy. Maybe tomorrow he could invite you out for coffee again.

 

***

 

You had arrived home after returning Chloe and her clothes to their rightful home. The first thing you did after entering your apartment was take a hot shower to rid yourself of the lingering cold from outside. Then you dressed in warm, comfy pajamas, towel-dried your hair, and plopped down cross-legged on top of your bed.

You weren’t going to sleep just yet. You still wanted to touch base a little with a certain monster guy first.

 

You  11:07pm

Hey. You up?

 

Sans  11:07pm

ya

what’s up

 

You  11:08pm

Well… some stuff happened.

I wanted to make sure you had a good time tonight.

And if you didn’t, uh,

Offer a friendly metaphorical shoulder, I guess?

 

Sans  11:09pm

im used 2 stuff

and u were there, of course i had a good time

 

A blush settled on your face and you were kind of glad he couldn’t see it.

 

You  11:09pm

What did I tell you about being smooth?

How do you know I don’t have a pastry and hot coffee over here to choke on??

 

Sans  11:09

lol k

but really i had fun

chloe was hilarious. i c y ur friends

 

You smiled and leaned back on your pillows.

 

You  11:10pm

Ya, she’s the best.

Interested? >:3

 

Sans  11:10pm

…

depends. u near any hot beverages?

 

Your eyes widened in surprise, and you felt a twinge of… jealousy? Wow. Nice primitive holdover there. You didn’t even like him that way. What was there to be jealous over?

 

You  11:10pm

I’m not near anything I could hurt myself with.

 

Sans  11:10pm

i am interested

but only in u, beautiful

 

You felt like your heart stopped in the moments between the first and second text bubbles appearing. Your face flushed and your heart fluttered. _No, it’s not like that_ , you quickly warned yourself. _It just feels nice to be wanted, that’s all. I’m not reciprocating._ You got your fingers moving quickly.

 

You  11:11pm

Sans ur unbelievable. >:|

 

But something made you hesitate.

 

You  11:11pm

What do u even like about me?

We barely know each other

 

It took a minute for him to respond. And you rolled your eyes when you saw what he said.

 

Sans  11:13pm

lots of things

 

You thought he would just leave it there, implying that he really had no reasons but didn’t want to say so. You jumped in surprise when your phone started to ring. You quickly answered it and spluttered in confusion.

“Sans? Why are you calling me?”

“Well…” God, he had a nice voice. You hated yourself for thinking that his looks detracted from the effect in person. “You asked me what I like about you, and I’m too lazy to type all that out. So I thought I’d just tell you.” His voice became gentler, more timid. “Do you mind? I know you don’t like me that way, so I’ll stop if you don’t really want to know.”

You pondered for a moment. “No, I want to hear this. Go ahead, Sans. What is it you like about me?”

He took a breath and went on in a smooth and unhurried baritone. “Well, The first thing’s obvious. You’re beautiful. Makeup or no makeup, nice or casual clothes, you always look perfect no matter what you’re doing.”

Well, that was patently false, but it was nice that he thought so. Sans kept talking.

“I like listening to what you have to say. You have interesting opinions, and your voice is nice. And if I’m going to bring up your voice, I have to talk about your laugh. I can’t get enough of it; it really makes my day.”

This was already more than you were expecting, and you were starting to feel really over-valued, but Sans just kept relaxedly talking on his side of the phone.

“Today I found out that you can be really brave sometimes. I admire that. I think it’s really cool that you aren’t afraid to stand up for your friends. And…”

He trailed off for a moment, and you noticed you were holding your breath waiting for him to continue.

“Heh. This is kind of embarrassing, but my soul feels better when yours is nearby, and I trust that feeling.”

You sat in stunned silence, and you didn’t know how long you were like that.

“Um, (y/n)? You still there?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you startled back to yourself, repositioning yourself on your bed. Your heart was thumping in your chest, and you felt a little like you’d just stepped off a rollercoaster.

“Sorry. Was that awkward?” His deep voice sounded concerned and maybe even ashamed, and you reflexively sat upright.

“No! No,” your voice was quiet and unsure, “it was sweet. I just… don’t know how to feel about you liking me so much.”

You heard a soft hum from the other end of the line, and Sans slowly replied. “Stop me if I’m making any boneheaded assumptions,” he started, and you chuckled faintly. “But, it’s okay to like being liked. You’re allowed to enjoy it as much as you want, and nobody is going to force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. If you like it when I flirt with you, and you want me to keep doing it, that’s fine, even if you don’t want to date me. If you want to be close with me, but you don’t want to be intimate, that’s fine.”

You held your legs to your chest and felt your eyes start to burn, but you didn’t know why. Sans continued to reassure you tenderly.

“Don’t worry about leading me on or anything. If one day you want to hold my hand, I’m not going to assume you want to hug and kiss the next. I’m okay with anything you do or don’t want to do, and I’m patient, so you just do whatever makes you happy, okay?”

“Fuck,” You hiccuped, realizing you’d started crying. Your chest was suddenly wracked by sobs, but it felt so warm and bright inside. “What did I tell you about being smooth, Sans?”

“... Do you want me to go?” he asked gently.

“You goddamn, stupid, funny, sweet, sonofabitch,” you moaned. “You fucking made me like you. Damn your sexy voice and nice words.”

There was a lapse in conversation while you tried to stop your confused crying. Then, that asshole, in a cute, hopeful voice, “You think my voice is sexy?”

“Dammit, Sans,” you huffed. “Look, I need some time to think about this, okay? Can you just give me some space until then?”

“Yeah, of course,” he said softly. “Take as long as you need, (y/n). Just let me know when you’ve gotten enough alone time, okay? I’ll be waiting.”

“I will. Bye, Sans.”

He answered your “goodbye” with a “later,” and you ended the call, flopping back onto your pillows limply and shooting off a miserable text.

 

To Chloe  11:27pm

I’m so fucking boned.


	6. Skele-Boyfriend Makes Burgers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which you do some research and make a decision. Also, dinner at Sans’s house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of you are wonderful ^w^
> 
> Thoughtful comments make me happy and motivated. :3

To Chloe 11:27pm

I’m so fucking boned.

 

Chloe 11:28pm

Was that a skeleton joke? >;3

 

You 11:28pm

No! And I’m not in the mood right now! DX>

 

Chloe 11:28pm

Ok, chill girl.

What’s wrong?

 

You 11:28pm

I have a crush on Sans. T-T

 

Chloe 11:28pm

I’m confused.

Isn’t that a good thing? Now you mutually like each other.

 

You 11:28pm

Chloe, he’s a skeleton.

I like a guy I’m not physically attracted to!

WHAT DO I DO?!

 

Chloe 11:28pm

Whoa, chill.

Let me think…

 

11:30pm

I mean, I think it’s probably fine?

Just, don’t have sex with him if you’re not attracted to him.

Not like he can anyway, right?

 

You collapsed back onto your pillows with a whoomph and sighed through your nose.

 

You 11:30pm

Is that really fine, though? Wouldn’t that make me a terrible girlfriend?

 

Chloe 11:30pm

Girl, couples don’t have to have sex to be happy.

There are abusive couples who fuck all the time and h8 each other

And there are celibate fucking monk-vegan couples and shit

Do you think he would be upset if you told him no?

 

You 11:31pm

No, I think he would be 100% understanding and wonderful

That’s why I feel like shit!

But I’m also really happy?

He said some really sappy shit and I felt so safe and loved?

Babe, I’m dying! Help!

 

Chloe 11:31pm

Calm. Your tits.

Let urself be happy.

This is y I told u to get laid.

Do u c how desperate u were now?

 

You 11:31pm

I DON’T DESERVE SUCH A NICE GUY! T^T

 

Chloe 11:31

…

-__-

I’m going to sleep. I’ll talk to u in the morning when ur sane.

G’night.

 

Fuck. You tossed your phone onto your sheets and rolled onto your side, hugging your pillow. Your chest was tight and throbbing; there were too many emotions swirling around at once and you didn’t know how to sort through them all.

After several deep breaths and some stray tears, you had calmed down a lot and were overall just feeling sleepy. You got up long enough to turn off the lights and crawl under the covers, and you stared at the ceiling and it’s stupid popcorn coating, sorting through the important parts in your head.

Sans liked you. You liked Sans back. Okay, good start; that was the simple part. You didn’t know anything about monsters. That was a problem, but a few hours reading recent articles online would fix it pretty easily. Sans was a super patient guy, from what you understood. He would wait for you to sort out your shit. That was good, but you felt bad taking advantage of him like that. It felt like you were in the more convenient position in this relationship, and you didn’t want anything less than an equal give-and-take. Lastly, you were pretty sure you didn’t like Sans as much as he liked you. After all, he wasn’t the least bit shy about calling you beautiful, but you couldn’t imagine doing dirty things with a skeleton without shivers trailing up your spine.

You fell asleep before you realized it, dreaming of cool, hard, skeletal fingers tracing up your abdomen, winding around your back, and a familiar face pulling close, eerily lit by two pinprick white lights.

You gasped and jumped in bed, then unceremoniously rolled off your mattress onto the floor. According to your digital alarm clock, it was nine in the morning. You were tired, but your adrenaline was pumping and you were drenched in cold sweat, so you decided to stay awake and have an early shower.

The hot water cleansed and relaxed your body, and you were assaulted by guilty feelings.

_I dreamt about the guy I like and_ that’s _how it turned out? Goddamnit._

The details of the dream were fuzzy except for Sans’s boney fingers on you and his skeletal face drawing closer. You hadn’t actually seen more of his body than that, and you wondered if that was why your brain decided to leave it blurry.

Whether that had been your brain’s failed attempt at an erotic dream or it had simply been a nightmare, you were pissed by it. You made your shower extra long just so that the comforting warmth could calm you down.

After your shower was done and you were dressed, you sat down at your laptop and searched for “things a human should know before dating a monster.” You found an article that looked good at a glance and left it to brew some coffee. Once you had the precious liquid in a mug in your hands, you sat down to read in the morning sunlight.

 

**_Top 10 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Monster_ **

We all know our new monster neighbors are made of love, hope and compassion, but does that mean they make good dating partners for a human? Monsters and humans are two very different species, so before you jump in, here are ten things you should know before dating a monster.

  1. Humans and monsters are different species, so they can’t have children together. If you were hoping for some cute little half-monsters scurrying across your living room floor, sorry, but it’s not gonna happen. But hey! There’s always adoption! Or one of you lovebirds could choose to be a surrogate parent instead.
  2. As of 201X, humans and monsters have the same rights and can legally marry. And, since monster gender roles are more fluid than human gender roles, it’s totally legal for a human to marry a monster with the same apparent gender! For any homosexuals out there who still can’t legally marry a same-gender human, you have a few more options in the monster community.
  3. Souls and magic are real and very important to monsters. In particular, soulbonding is very serious business. If your monster lover wants to soulbond with you, think carefully because it’s kind of like signing a magical contract to love each other forever. Breaking one is painful for both parties involved.
  4. Unlike humans who constantly want sex at about the same intensity, monsters go into heat for a few days every year. During a heat, they’ll be a lot more eager for your attention, and may even have to stay home from work to “de-stress.” They’ll also start thinking about having kids and stuff like that. It will pass in a few days, but try to be there for them until it's over.
  5. If you’re dating a monster, you might get the chance to eat more monster food. Just keep in mind, it doesn’t have all the nutrients humans need to survive. You’ll get your calories from it, sure, but take some nutritional supplements now and then to keep your body healthy. And, make sure your monster doesn’t eat any human food without taking a magical supplement first. Most monsters don’t have the internal structure to process human food, and they can get really sick with it just sitting in there rotting. You can buy magical and nutritional supplements at most local pharmacies.
  6. Monster culture is different from human culture, and you need to respect that if you want to be with one. If your monster bae wants to support you, they might go to church with you or celebrate your holidays, but don’t act like they’re obligated to do so. The most notable monster holidays are freedom day (mm-dd), where they look at the stars and enjoy freedom on the surface, and gyftmas (mm-dd), similar to a secular christmas, where friends give each other gifts under a decorated tree.
  7. Be open and honest with your monster. Monsters can see human souls, so if your lying, or hiding something, or if you’ve done something bad, they’ll likely know with a glance. As in all relationships, the solution here is healthy communication.
  8. Every soul has its own unique “pulse,” kind of like if every human’s heart beat a little bit differently. An important part of romantic bonding, flirting, sexing, etc. for monsters is synchronizing soul pulses with the person they love. Most humans can’t control their soul pulse at all, and trying to keep up with you one-sidedly might wear out your monster lover. But even if you can adjust your soul pulse, some pulse patterns just aren’t compatible. Don’t blame yourself if this turns out to be the case. Your soul is a reflection of your personality. If two people’s soul pulses are destructive to each other, the relationship wouldn’t have lasted regardless.
  9. Every now and then, monsters do something that seems very animal-like to humans. You need to be okay with that if you want to have a relationship. Some of the things include marking places and people with magic (which won’t bother most humans, since we’re not sensitive to magic), sensitivity to personal smells (if you cheat, they _will_ smell it on you), various beast-like noises (depending on what specific type of monster you’re after) and primal bedroom habits that they wouldn’t show to any non-intimate person (biting, scratching, preening, and grooming, again depending on what specific type of monster you’re after.)
  10. Lastly, monsters come in all different shapes and sizes, and the changes aren’t just aesthetic. There are a lot of traits, needs, and cultural issues specific to each type of monster. For these kinds of things, you can look them up separately online, but you’ll usually get more accurate answers by just asking a monster of that type.



There you have ten things you should know before dating a monster. Still have questions? Was this article helpful? Contact the staff by sending an email to abcd@abc.com or call us at 001-001-0001.

 

Okay, wow. There was a lot to unpack there. For right now, the point that most worried you was the thing about monster heats. None of the others were obvious issues, but that one was glaring. If Sans went into heat and you still weren’t attracted to him… what the hell were you supposed to do to help him?

The thing about soul pulses was also vaguely concerning, but you figured Sans wouldn’t still be after you if you weren’t compatible. He’d probably already done that synchronizing thing when he was flirting with you, and you just didn’t notice because you were a magically inept human.

He hadn’t marked you with his magic, had he? There were no monsters around you could ask about it.

You took a few minutes for yourself. You put in a load of laundry, made an egg sandwich, ate an egg sandwich, and did some newspaper puzzles. At around two o’clock, when your thoughts hadn’t changed and you were sure you weren’t just making an impulsive decision, you pulled out your phone and texted Sans.

 

You 2:04pm

Hey. I took some time to think,

Sort out how I feel, and did a little research.

 

Sans 2:04pm

ya? u figure anything out?

 

You 2:04pm

I like you, and I want to date you, but

I don’t want to be intimate yet?

I can’t promise I’ll ever want that tbh.

 

Sans 2:04pm

ok

 

You 2:05pm

But, like, I read about these things called heats?

And, like, will you be ok?

‘Cause the website said I should help, but I don’t think I can.

 

Sans 2:05pm

ok

 

You 2:05pm

Sans, I’m gonna need more than an “ok”

 

Sans 2:05pm

ok

 

You 2:05pm

Lol, I walked into that one.

But srsly, did you think all this thru?

 

Sans 2:06pm

my heats not til january

so 4 months

well talk then if its still an issue

 

You 2:06pm

That’s fair, I guess.

 

Maybe in four months you would develop a strange skeleton fetish, who could say?

 

Sans 2:06pm

so was there anything else that worried u?

 

You stopped to think about it. There were only two things, you supposed.

 

You 2:06pm

Yeah, 2 things, I guess.

First, are you really sure ur okay with not being intimate?

 

Sans 2:07pm

ya. ur more important 2 me

 

Fucking smooth bastard. You shook off a blush and prepared your heart for your next question.

 

You 2:07pm

I don’t want to ask, but not knowing is going to drive me crazy.

Can you even have sex? How does it work with skeletons??

 

You waited with baited breath, and it felt like forever before he responded.

 

Sans 2:07pm

ya nope, lol. not doin this over texts. take me out 2 dinner first lmao

or i can take u out. or in, i guess. im making burgers 2nite if u want to come over

 

Well, maybe asking him to talk about that via text was a little insensitive. But how the fuck did he turn it around into asking you out on a date? And he was going to actually cook for you? What the hell? That was so cute.

 

You 2:08pm

Monster food?

 

Sans 2:08pm

yep, monster food.

unless ur not ok with that. i could go get human ingredients?

 

You 2:08pm

No, monster food is fine. When should I be there?

 

Sans 2:08pm

6 ish. ill send u the address

 

You waited to confirm his address and saved it to your phone. Your laundry was finished with its dry cycle, so you folded it all and put it away. After that, you stared blankly at your phone for a minute, picked it up, and pressed the call button. It rang several times, and then Chloe’s beautiful voice came from the other end.

“Hey, babe. You sane yet?”

“Hey, girl. I’m not sure, but I hope so.” You shifted the way you were holding your phone, “I did some research, and a lot of thinking, and it looks like I’m going to do this.”

You swore you could hear her staring at her phone. “So,” she started hesitantly, “you and Sans are a thing now?”

You sighed, “Tentatively, yeah. I told him my terms, and he invited me to his place for dinner. I’m heading over at six.”

“Wow,” she sounded pleasantly surprised, “and you didn’t even need my advice or anything. I’m glad you’re finally showing interest in someone—even if he’s a skeleton monster.”

“Yeah, that part’s still weird. I hope I can get used to it.”

“Well, I guess I’ll cheer for you from over here. But by all means, if you ever want me to date-crash again, just say the word. Your bae is a fucking riot.”

You’d been dating for ten minutes and he was already “your bae” in Chloe’s mind? You’d checked yourself several times, but it still felt like you were moving too fast.

“I’ll keep you posted. Talk to you later, babe.”

“Yeah. Call me after and let me know how it went.”

You hung up and opened your weather app. It was just barely warm enough for a run, and you had time to waste, so you changed your clothes and got to wasting.

By 5:50, you were showered, dressed, and heading to your car, the directions to Sans’s place pulled up on your phone. You pulled in to his apartment complex ten minutes early, but waited until an acceptable five ‘til to get out of your car.

You found the door with the correct number beside it and knocked firmly. There was a clicking sound, and a familiar deep voice called for you to just come in.

You couldn’t see Sans when you opened to door. Now, was the lock controlled digitally, or was it magic? You closed it gently, hearing sounds from a well-lit area around the corner. No wonder Sans hadn’t been at the door: he was busy in the kitchen.

You took your unsupervised state as permission to take a quick look around. The front door opened right up into a living room area, then there was a wall dividing the room to the left, and the kitchen was on the other side. You could see a hallway toward the back of the building that likely branched off into a bedroom and a bathroom.

Curiosity sated, you rounded the corner to greet your host and… boyfriend, you supposed. He was standing at the stovetop, and you could smell burgers cooking and hear the meat sizzling. You also thought you could smell french fries. They were probably in the oven.

“Hey, Sans,” you greeted leisurely. “Nice place.”

“Oh, thanks,” he chuckled and responsibly kept his eyes on the hot pan. “I tried to clean it before you came over, but I probably missed a thing or two. Try not to trip on any socks.”

His tone was pleasantly joking, but you made a mental note to watch where you stepped regardless.

“Anyway, feel free to take a seat. The food will be ready in just a minute.” You pulled out a chair and sat down, facing Sans while he still had his back to you. “You want anything to drink? I have water, milk, and ketchup. A few different alcohols if you feel like it.”

“I’ll just have a water,” you said. “And ketchup isn’t a beverage; it’s a condiment.”

“It’s a beverage if you drink it,” he chuckled, and you noticed blue light encase the cupboards, sink, and a tall clear glass and move them around like there were invisible hands holding them. The cabinet opened, the cup flew out, and it filled itself at the sink before depositing itself in front of you.

Since you’d never _seen_ Sans teleport before, this was the first time you’d seen him use magic. Hell, it was the first time you’d _ever_ seen magic outside of a screen. It looked damn convenient and amazing, but you tried not to throw up a big fuss over something he did literally without raising a finger.

“Thanks,” you said, taking a sip, and he hummed.

After a minute longer, Sans turned off the stove burner and started using his hands to assemble a couple of burgers, and you noticed that he wasn’t wearing long sleeves like literally every other time you’d seen him. His forearms were smooth white bone like (presumably) the rest of his body. Their structure seemed similar to a human skeleton, being split into a radius and an ulna with a gap in between.

You thought it would feel really weird having huge holes in your body like that, and you couldn’t help staring. The bones rotated around each other anytime he turned his wrist, despite lacking...literally everything normally required for that kind of motion.

His legs from the knees down were similar, and you realized Sans was wearing plain black athletic shorts instead of jeans or sweatpants. This was more exposed bone than were used to dealing with, and it was making your usual technique fail. You couldn’t pretend the person you were looking at wasn’t just an animated skeleton, but you weren’t quite as putoff as you’d thought you’d be. Maybe it was the fact that you’d gotten to know the skeleton by now, or the fact that he was your tentative boyfriend. Or maybe it was the way he was standing in a cozy kitchen cooking you burgers for dinner. He just didn’t seem as scary and unsettling right now.

While you were ogling white bone, Sans had finished two plates of burgers and fries and turned around to set them on the table for each of you. You waited for him to sit down, or get himself something to drink, or maybe pull out the ketchup, but he just kind of froze.

“Shit, sorry,” an apology suddenly tumbled out of his mouth, and you didn’t know what for. You just tilted your head as sans walked into the living room, took his favorite blue jacket off a coat hook, and threw it on over his black T-shirt. He looked down at himself and scratched the back of his skull. “I’ll go change my pants too,” he said, turning toward the back room.

You quickly called out, “It’s fine.”

Sans stopped and tipped his head at you. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It’s your house. In fact, you can lose the jacket if you’re just wearing it for my sake.”

Sans’s eyelights examined you for several seconds before he slowly took his jacket off and hung it back on the hook. He stopped by a cabinet on his way to the table and poured himself something that looked like whisky, grabbed the ketchup from the fridge, and sat down.

The skeleton man raised his glass to his teeth and took a sip, then looked at you closely again.

“You really don’t mind?”

“I said it’s fine,” you chuckled. “It’s not as disgusting as I expected, I guess… _Wow_ , I could have said that better. Sorry.”

Sans shook his head and took the ketchup bottle, applying the substance liberally to his burger and fries. His other hand tapped its boney fingers on the table in a slow rhythm. “Not gonna lie. “Not disgusting” is a pretty low bar to aim for, but I’ll take it.”

You blushed and took a bite of your burger and your face lit up. It was really damn good! You hurried to swallow and felt that typical magic food sensation of nothing actually entering your stomach, yet even still you felt satiated. “This is amazing, Sans!”

“Heh. Thanks.” He seemed pleased, “I learned a thing or two from an old buddy of mine.” You heard that directionless cracking again as Sans opened his mouth and took a bite of his burger. “Grillby still makes ‘em better, though,” he hummed.

Through the magical virtue of not having to chew his food, Sans finished eating before you did. He sat casually with one hand propping up his chin and the other drumming a steady rhythm on the tabletop. His eyelights were wide and soft, and he kept a steady stream of conversation and jokes going while you laughed, ate, and tried not to kill yourself doing both at the same time. For the most part, Sans’s eyelights stayed on your eyes, but occasionally they drifted down to watch your mouth chewing or your throat swallowing. Once or twice they drifted down to your chest. You weren’t sure if he was looking at your soul, watching your lungs shake your ribcage with laughter, or checking out your breasts. With a human it would be pretty obvious, but with Sans you had no idea.

After you’d finished eating and enjoyed several minutes of pleasant chatting, the conversation hit a natural lull. For a moment, there was nothing but the sound of his hard fingers drumming on the tabletop.

“So, about that thing you asked me earlier today,” his voice sounded relaxed, but you felt your body tense up. “Are you still curious?”

You looked down at your lap as a mad blush spread across your cheeks. You wanted to crawl under the table and hide, but Sans was offering you answers you sincerely wanted to know. A single, tight nod rocked your head, and your skeleton boyfriend (that was still weird to say) exhaled through his nasal hole.

“Alright. Just relax, okay? I’ll try not to make this weird.”

You were still blushing intensely, but you managed to look up from your lap. Sans’s fingers tapped against the table.

“It sounded like you were asking me if I could have sex the same way humans do, and, uh,” he grinned a wry and sheepish smile, “no. I really am just a skeleton. I don’t have any genitalia.”

You felt your heart dip a bit, even though you’d pretty much been expecting that. “So, um, how does that work then?”

He chuckled. “See, actually, it’s a little different from the way humans work. For monsters, sex and reproduction are separate things. If you mean “how do skeleton monsters have children,” the answer is we match soul pulses with the person we’re soul bonded to with the intention of making a kid. But if you’re asking about sex, then, uh,” Sans blushed. You didn’t know he could. It was a strange, light blue dusting over his cheekbones. “I have places I like to be touched, just like you do.”

“Oh, uh, okay.” _Where though? He’s just bones??_

Sans smiled softly at you. Desperate for a change of subject, you focused on his drumming fingers. “You’re doing that a lot, huh?”

His eyelights flickered like a startled blink, and his smile shrunk. “It’s not bothering you, is it?”

You shook your head. “No, no. I was just wondering if it’s a nervous habit or something?”

Sans chuckled and shook his head. “No, uh, hmm.” He thought for a moment. “Did you come across anything about soul pulses while you were researching?”

“Yeah, a bit. Monsters try to, like, match soul pulses with the people they like, and sometimes they’re incompatible? Also,” you dug through your memory and your eyes widened, “humans don’t really know how to do that, and monsters can tire themselves out trying to synchronize things one-sidedly?”

Sans grinned proudly. “Seems like you’ve pretty much figured it out, but I’ll say it anyway. I’m mimicking my natural rhythm for my soul to focus on so I don’t unconsciously try to synch with yours. We’re not incompatible, but I can’t keep up a pace like yours for long. That’s, uh, way too exhausting. If the sound bothered you, I’d have figured something else out.”

You hummed curiously. “What does my soul pulse sound like? If you tapped it out like that.”

Sans grinned strangely. “I can’t move my fingers that fast.”

“Oh,” you blinked.

“Well, now that that’s out of the way,” Sans gave you a charming skeleton grin and his eyelights twinkled. “You’re free to head home, or I’ve got movies and a widescreen TV. I’ll leave it up to you.”

You felt a warm smile spread across your face. “I’ll take a look at what you have.”


	7. Bros and Burgers and Everything’s Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which I wrote another Sans perspective because why do I ever say I’m going to do/not do things?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next scene just wasn’t forming in my brain. Also, I’m so sorry in advance for what I did to Papyrus. T~T I hate it, but I love it, so now it’s a thing.

So, how much space were you going to need, exactly?

It was noon. Sans had woken up two hours ago, then moved to the couch and fallen asleep again for two more hours. He’d thought his depression was backing off these past couple of days, but that was probably just his infatuation with you counterbalancing it. Now that he might not see you for a week or two—hopefully not _more_ —his energy just crashed.

Though, if you just looked on from outside, he looked like he was doing pretty well. His apartment was the cleanest it had been since he’d moved in. He’d taken to cleaning one or two items off the floor each day, and then he’d just sort of tried to keep it from getting worse. The effort would be worth it if you ever wanted to visit, right?

Once monsters were on the surface and their biggest problems were settled, people finally had time to notice the little things; to _want more_. It was strange not having abundant problems. Of course, they found it liberating, but maybe they missed the challenge? Anyway, Papyrus, Undyne, Toriel, everyone had latched onto it when they noticed that Sans hadn’t gotten any happier despite seeing the sun and sky every day.

They made him see a doctor. A human doctor. Humans had had the time and resources to bother with things like mental illnesses, so they were far ahead of monsters in the psychological field. Currently, no one could say if mental illness expresses itself differently in monsters and humans, but they seemed to be the same for all sentient creatures as far as the preliminary examinations showed.

And by human standards, Sans had a very severe case of depression. They’d thought he had insomnia too, at first, but his poor sleep at night was really just a side effect of _some other_ disorder that gave him horrific night terrors. They’d yet to pin that one down.

Obviously, he was prescribed medication. And that’s when the monster community found out that human medicine doesn’t work on monsters. They’d never bothered to try any before then, since monster food and healing magic worked better and faster. But pills designed to alter brain chemicals didn’t work on beings that had magic networks rather than neural ones.

So, Sans was a hyper-depressive, unmedicated monster. The psychologist had helplessly advised him to just keep to a schedule (which he did, through his work) and surround himself with friends and loved ones. What a fantastic job he was doing with that, huh?

Fortunately, Sans’s symptoms had never included suicidal thoughts or tendencies.

Sans considered just going back to sleep, but he knew that wasn’t good for him. Instead, he pulled up his laptop and went on social media, self-medicating as best as he could by involving himself in his friends’ lives and leaving jokes in the comments.

One o’clock rolled around, and it must have been Papyrus’s break time because Sans got a private message from him.

CoolSkeleton95: HELLO, SANS! I NOTICED YOU WERE ONLINE AND I AM ON BREAK, WHICH MADE THIS THE PERFECT TIME TO SAY HELLO!

funnybone: hey bro. what’s up?

CoolSkeleton95: EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT HERE! EXCEPT YOU’RE IN ANOTHER CITY, FRISK IS AWAY DOING AMBASSADORIAL THINGS, AND UNDYNE IS MAKING OUR SPARRING SESSIONS REALLY _REALLY_ HARD BECAUSE SHE SAYS SHE DOESN’T GET TO FIGHT ENOUGH UP HERE. BUT I AM VERY STRONG AND CAPABLE AND I’M HANDLING IT PERFECTLY!

funnybone: sounds gr8 bro.

CoolSkeleton95: INDEED! BUT HOW ARE YOU, BROTHER? ARE YOU MAKING FRIENDS? ARE YOU EATING? YOU HAVE LEFT YOUR HOUSE AT LEAST ONCE TODAY, CORRECT?

Sans reflected on his day and winced. He’d done nothing but sleep. He hadn’t eaten anything or taken a single step outside. Apparently he’d taken too long before answering because Papyrus started to catch on that something was wrong.

CoolSkeleton95: SANS?

funnybone: i made some friends. in fact, i’ve got some pretty cool news, bro.

CoolSkeleton95: SANS THAT’S WONDERFUL! I’M SO HAPPY YOU FINALLY MADE SOME FRIENDS IN YOUR NEW HOME! HOWEVER, I WILL INTERPRET YOUR ODDLY SPECIFIC ANSWER TO MEAN YOU HAVEN’T EATEN OR BEEN OUTSIDE TODAY. PROMISE ME YOU WILL AT LEAST EAT, SANS? I WORRY ABOUT YOU ALL ALONE OVER THERE IN A CITY THAT HASN’T BEEN COMPLETELY OVERRUN BY MONSTERS.

funnybone: i’ll eat something, paps. i promise. also, maybe choose some different words 4 that last part.

CoolSkeleton95: I’M NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT, BUT I WILL HOLD YOU TO YOUR PROMISE. NOW, BY ALL MEANS, SHARE THE “COOL NEWS” YOU HAVE, BROTHER!

funnybone: i got a girlfriend.

CoolSkeleton95: WOWIE! IS THAT TRUE, SANS?! AND HERE I WAS THINKING YOU MIGHT BE SAD AND ALONE FOREVER WITHOUT THE GREAT PAPYRUS TO BE YOUR WINGMAN! SHE IS A HUMAN, YES? I KNOW YOU FIND THEM ENAMOURING.

funnybone: yeah, paps, she’s a human.

CoolSkeleton95: EXCELLENT! NOW I CAN SHARE ROMANTIC ADVICE WITH MY NO-LONGER-PATHETICALLY-ALONE BROTHER!

funnybone: if u mean that dating book u always cling to, thanks pap, but i already read it.

CoolSkeleton95: NO, NOT THAT BOOK. I KNOW YOU CAN’T SEE ME, SANS, BUT I AM ROLLING MY EYE SOCKETS AT YOU. AFTER HAVING GOTTEN SOME REAL EXPERIENCE OUT ON THE DATING SCENE, I CAN SAY WITH CONFIDENCE THAT THAT BOOK IS… EASILY MISINTERPRETED. I CAN GUARANTEE WHATEVER KNOWLEDGE YOU GLEANED FROM IT WILL NOT HELP YOU IN THE BEDROOM.

Something in that wording made Sans start to magically sweat cold sweat. Surely he’s overthinking this, right? This was _Papyrus_ , his innocent-to-a-fault little brother.

funnybone: wait. papyrus, what sort of experience r u talking about? what did u do on ur dates?

CoolSkeleton95: OH, JUST THE BASICS. IF I SAW A NICE GENTLEMAN WHO WAS INTERESTED, AND _HE_ EXPRESSED INTEREST IN _ME_ , WE WOULD GO OUT FOR A MEAL TOGETHER, PERHAPS ENJOY A NICE WALK TO SEE THE STARS, SUNSET, OR CITY LIGHTS, AND THEN WE WOULD RETURN TO MY HOME AND HAVE SEX IN MY BEDROOM.

funnybone: ... what do u mean u “had sex”?

This was another miscommunication, right? This was _Papyrus_!

CoolSkeleton95: OH, SANS. DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT SEX IS? DO NOT WORRY, BROTHER. THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL EXPLAIN. SEX IS A PLEASURABLE ACT BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE (USUALLY) WHERE YOU TOUCH EACH OTHER IN… PLACES THAT FEEL GOOD. HM. THIS IS ACTUALLY DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN WITHOUT VISUAL AIDS. WELL, I’M SURE YOUR GIRLFRIEND CAN WALK YOU THROUGH IT JUST LIKE THE FIRST OF MY PARTNERS DID FOR ME!

The lights had completely left Sans’s eye sockets. He’d left his little brother alone for a month, stopped supervising him for _one month_ —What _happened_?! There was the pride-shattering fact that his little brother apparently had more experience in bed than he did, but Sans’s big brother instincts were screaming more important things at him.

funnybone: papyrus, u‘d better b careful who u bring home. there are some rly scary people out there who will pretend they want 2 luv u when really they want 2 hurt u. promise me u‘ll b selective?

CoolSkeleton95: I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN BROTHER. I CHECK THE LV AND EXP OF EVERY MALE WHO INTERESTS ME BEFORE OFFERING HIM TIME WITH THE GREAT PAPYRUS. I AM VERY CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. MORE IMPORTANTLY, BROTHER, SINCE YOU ARE INEXPERIENCED, I HAVE TWO IMPORTANT PIECES OF ADVICE TO GIVE YOU.

Sans sighed and slouched until he nearly slid off the couch, feeling utterly defeated.

funnybone: ya, bro? what?

CoolSkeleton95: BE GENTLE, AND MAKE SURE SHE WEARS A CONDOM!

Abruptly, the lights returned in Sans’s eyesockets, big and bright. _Holy shit!_ He struggled to type while his body was shaking with laughter.

funnybone: ever been with a woman, paps?

CoolSkeleton95: NO, THEY DON’T REALLY INTEREST ME. WHY?

funnybone: no reason.

CoolSkeleton95: I DOUBT THAT, BUT I WILL LET IT SLIDE BECAUSE I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK. ENJOY YOUR DAY, SANS! REMEMBER YOUR PROMISE AND TRY TO STEP OUTSIDE AT SOME POINT.

funnybone: thanks, pap. i’ll c u in 2 weeks.

CoolSkeleton95: UNTIL NEXT TIME, BROTHER!

Sans sighed and shut his laptop. He was caught between laughing over his brother’s continuing ignorance and vegetating with the knowledge that some of that innocence had been scrubbed away.

It wasn’t long after that that he got a text from you, and the positive emotions won out in his soul. You hadn’t needed nearly as long as he’d thought before contacting him again.

 

You 2:04pm

Hey. I took some time to think,

Sort out how I feel, and did a little research.

 

What kind of research? Surely not any of those racist anti-monster blogs. You were too smart to buy into shit like that, right?

Suddenly, he worried that you hadn’t taken long _enough_. The thought of being outright rejected crossed his mind and made his phalanges tremble over his phone keys.

 

Sans 2:04pm

ya? u figure anything out?

 

You 2:04pm

I like you, and I want to date you, but

I don’t want to be intimate yet?

I can’t promise I’ll ever want that tbh.

 

Sans struggled to recover from the short but intense emotional roller coaster you’d just dumped him on. _She fucking likes you!_ He was elated. _But she wouldn’t like to fuck you._ No longer elated, but at least he got some nice wordplay out of the situation. He honestly didn’t know how to respond, and his thumbs typed out a helpless, confused message.

 

Sans 2:04pm

ok

 

You 2:05pm

But, like, I read about these things called heats?

And, like, will you be ok?

‘Cause the website said I should help, but I don’t think I can.

 

You were just throwing Sans’s mind further into chaos at this point, conflicting emotions assaulting him from every angle. 

 

Sans 2:05pm

ok

 

You 2:05pm

Sans, I’m gonna need more than an “ok”

 

Sans 2:05pm

ok

 

Fine, that time he was just trolling, but it did give him some time to settle down and collect himself.

 

You 2:05pm

Lol, I walked into that one.

But srsly, did you think all this thru?

 

He had, but that conversation was more intimate than what he could handle having with you just yet.

 

Sans 2:06pm

my heats not til january

so 4 months

well talk then if its still an issue

 

You 2:06pm

That’s fair, I guess.

 

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but a good boyfriend would ask, and he wanted to be good to you.

 

Sans 2:06pm

so was there anything else that worried u?

 

You 2:06pm

Yeah, 2 things, I guess.

First, are you really sure ur okay with not being intimate?

 

Uh, no? The woman he liked thought he was repulsive. How would he be okay with that? But he loved you, and he was willing to wait. Even if nothing ever came of it, he was willing to wait. 

 

Sans 2:07pm

ya. ur more important 2 me

 

Now, then, what would your second concern be? It was strange enough that you only had two, so it was probably a big one, huh?

 

You 2:07pm

I don’t want to ask, but not knowing is going to drive me crazy.

Can you even have sex? How does it work with skeletons??

 

Sans jolted in his seat, sitting up straight and glaring at his phone screen with an increasingly tighter smile. Nope. He was not going to let you see the words “I don’t have a dick” on your screen and cut off all contact. If you were having this conversation, you were going to be physically present so he could explain himself properly.

And he had promised Papyrus he’d eat a proper meal today, so...

 

Sans 2:07pm

ya nope, lol. not doin this over texts. take me out 2 dinner first lmao

or i can take u out. or in, i guess. im making burgers 2nite if u want to come over

 

Wait, would you be willing to come to his house? You’d said you were willing to date him, so that meant you trusted him, right? Just, not quite enough to let him touch you. Yeah…

Sans waited anxiously for your reply.

 

You 2:08pm

Monster food?

 

Sans 2:08pm

yep, monster food.

unless ur not ok with that. i could go get human ingredients?

 

You 2:08pm

No, monster food is fine. When should I be there?

 

Wait, seriously? Fantastic!

 

Sans 2:08pm

6 ish. ill send u the address

 

Sans flipped his phone shut and finally got off his boney ass, checking the kitchen to make sure he had everything he needed to cook the promised burgers just the way Grillby taught him. You were _coming to his house_. He was gonna make you the best damn meal you’d had all month.

_And with some good food in you, you’ll be in a better mood for our talk._

 

 

Sans had timed things so that the burgers would be done at exactly six o’clock. He wanted to spend his time talking and joking with you, rather than cooking. On the off chance you were late to arrive, he had a mini hot fridge on the counter that he could keep them warm in.

As it turned out, you arrived early.

Sans looked over his shoulder when he heard knocking at his door. He knew it was you; his magical senses were far too good to be stopped by a wall and some distance, and your soul was particularly easy to spot. With some effortless blue magic, he unlocked the door for you.

“It’s unlocked. Just come in.”

You took some time to find the kitchen; he suspected you were taking your chance to look around a little. THat made him doubly glad he’d cleaned this place up over the week.

Sans kept quiet and let you do your thing, and eventually you came to greet him.

“Hey, Sans.” Stars, he’d missed your voice. He’d heard it yesterday, of course, but still. “Nice place.”

“Oh, thanks,” he chuckled and forced himself not to look at you. He wouldn’t look away if he did, and he really didn’t want to burn your dinner. “I tried to clean it before you came over, but I probably missed a thing or two. Try not to trip on any socks.” That one didn’t get a laugh. Shame. You’d have gotten it if you’d seen him at his messiest. “Anyway, feel free to take a seat. The food will be ready in just a minute.”

You pulled out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table behind him. Papyrus would usually host guests back when they still lived together, but Sans could do just as good a job. After all, who taught Papyrus his impeccable manners? Heh. Not that Sans ever followed his own advice. Well, maybe tonight he would. No pranks. Proper host.

“You want anything to drink? I have water, milk, and ketchup. A few different alcohols if you feel like it.”

“I’ll just have a water,” you said. “And ketchup isn’t a beverage; it’s a condiment.”

“It’s a beverage if you drink it,” he argued in good humor. Since his hands were occupied, Sans used blue magic again to fill your glass for you.

“Thanks,” you said, taking a sip, and he hummed.

He was a little surprised when you didn’t say anything about his use of magic, but you’d accepted teleportation pretty quickly, and that was much rarer than telekinesis. It was good magic didn’t make you nervous, but it was too bad he couldn’t impress you with it.

Just a minute more and the burgers were cooked. Sans turned off the stovetop and began to plate all the food, including the fries that had finished baking in the oven. He didn’t rush, but he didn’t want to keep you waiting, either, so he just got things to where they looked fine on the plates and turned around to set the table.

At that moment, he saw you (you looked beautiful as always, by the way), he saw the plates of food, and he saw his hands holding them. He was wearing short sleeves. Shit. He’d been having a home day until you’d texted him, and he totally forgot to change out of his lounging clothes.

Not only was he not dressed for a date—even one hosted at his house—but his skeleton anatomy was on full display; in front of his girlfriend who still wasn’t comfortable with him being what he was; in front of a human who had probably just lost her appetite.

“Shit, sorry.” Sans retreated to the living room. He found his favorite blue jacket hanging on a coat hook and threw it on over his black T-shirt. He looked down at himself and noticed his legs were showing as well. He cursed his lack of foresight and scratched the back of his skull.

“I’ll go change my pants too,” he sighed, turning toward his bedroom.

But before he could take a step, you called out to him. “It’s fine.”

Sans stopped and tipped his head at you strangely. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” you said casually. “It’s your house. In fact, you can lose the jacket if you’re just wearing it for my sake.”

Sans tried to frown and examined you carefully, looking for erratic twinges in your expression and soul to figure out if you were lying to him. He really thought you were, and he looked hard, but he couldn’t find a single dishonest bone in your body.

Sans took his jacket off slowly, still watching and waiting for you to change your mind. You didn’t falter. He took his time getting his drink and grabbing the ketchup, effectively controlling the distance between you two to shrink at a slow and steady rate. At last, he sat down right across from you.

Sans lifted his glass of alcohol for a drink. His bones were in plain view for you to see, but you still didn’t look uncomfortable. It was a sudden change for you _not_ to be and honestly seemed rather out of character from his perspective.

“You really don’t mind?”

“I said it’s fine,” you laughed like _he_ was the strange one for thinking you’d be uncomfortable. “It’s not as disgusting as I expected, I guess… _Wow_ , I could have said that better. Sorry.”

Fuck, you were serious. What made you suddenly _okay_ with sitting across the table from a literal skeleton? Had you just finally gotten used to him? Was some kind of switch flipped when you admitted you liked him back? Or maybe leaving his body besides his hands and face up to the imagination had actually been working against him (he wasn’t about to strip in front of you to test that one).

Sans shook his head and took the ketchup bottle, applying the substance liberally to his burger and fries. His other hand tapped its boney fingers on the table in a slow rhythm. “Not gonna lie. “Not disgusting” is a pretty low bar to aim for, but I’ll take it.”

You blushed and took a bite of your burger, and your face lit up. “This is amazing, Sans!”

Well, hell. If they made you look at him like that, he would cook them for you as often as you liked.

“Heh. Thanks. I learned a thing or two from an old buddy of mine.” Sans took a bite of his burger. The quality was there, for sure, but it was missing something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Grillby still makes ‘em better, though,” he hummed.

Sans finished eating long before you did, and he made use of his unoccupied mouth to entertain you with jokes and conversation. You laughed and smiled, and he had to concentrate hard to keep his soul from chasing yours. Drumming his phalanges on the table really helped.

Sans loved the way your eyes lit up when you laughed. Your eyes didn’t literally glow like his did, but something in them always seemed brighter when you were happy. It was even better when you’d been laughing for a while and little tears built up in the corners of your eyes. The moisture broke up that mysterious glow, and your eyes turned into little pools of starlight.

Your face was so damn expressive. You seemed to have a thousand different expressions for joy, and he wanted to see every single one of them. For example, you had a whole different set of smiles for when your mouth was full of food.

It was curious seeing a human eat monster food. Sans didn’t have the anatomy for chewing, but plenty of monsters did. Even so, they only needed to chew once or twice before the magic would be absorbed into their bodies and the food disappeared. It took longer for the magic to enter your body with so much matter in the way, so the process looked just as tedious as when you ate human food.

Sans didn’t mind waiting, though. He liked watching all the interesting ways your body moved, and something was _always_ moving. A lot of the time, the only part of his body that moved was his rib cage expanding and contracting as he breathed, but it still wasn’t as obvious as your breathing.

You eventually finished eating and joined in on the conversation, playing off his jokes and stories for several minutes before the conversation hit a natural lull. Sans sighed internally. Now was probably the best time to deal with the elephant in your relationship.

“So, about that thing you asked me earlier today,” he tried to sound relaxed, but his soul was faintly trembling. “Are you still curious?”

You looked down at your lap as a mad blush spread across your cheeks. A single, tight nod rocked your head, and Sans exhaled through his nasal hole.

“Alright. Just relax, okay? I’ll try not to make this weird.” _I’ll really, really try._

You were still blushing intensely, but you managed to look up from your lap. Sans tapped his fingers on the table, trying in vain to keep his soul pulse steady.

Stars, where would he even start? Might as well lower your expectations right off the bat.

“It sounded like you were asking me if I could have sex the same way humans do, and, uh,” he grinned a smile filled with carefully hidden self-loathing, “no. I really am just a skeleton. I don’t have any genitalia.”

The disappointment on your face was heartbreaking, but you didn’t react as badly as he’d been prepared for, so Sans just barely maintained the nerve to not teleport away.

“So, um,” you wrung one hand in the other, “how does that work then?”

He chuckled helplessly. “See, actually, it’s a little different from the way humans work.” And suddenly, oh stars, he was having the birds and the bees talk (monster edition) with his girlfriend. He felt as helpless as the time he’d had to explain it to Papyrus, and he had skipped over the second half of _that_ talk. Now, discussing the sexual side of things was the main point.

“But if you’re asking about sex, then, uh,” Fuck, he couldn’t do this after all. Sans’s face was flushed—he could feel it. You’d definitely had this conversation with a human before, right? Hopefully he could get away with being vague by drawing on the few shared elements of the experience. “I have places I like to be touched, just like you do.”

“Oh, uh, okay.”

Sans put on his best “I’m fine” face and inwardly crumbled. _Oh Stars, somebody just break in here and dust me right now._

Shifting awkwardly in your seat, you frowned and nodded at his drumming fingers. “You’re doing that a lot, huh?”

Sans’s eyelights flickered, and his smile shrunk. “It’s not bothering you, is it?”

You shook your head. “No, no. I was just wondering if it’s a nervous habit or something?”

Sans suddenly understood that you’d just grabbed onto the first thing you could think of to change the subject, and he chuckled in faint relief. “No, uh, hmm.” He thought for a moment. “Did you come across anything about soul pulses while you were researching?”

“Yeah, a bit. Monsters try to, like, match soul pulses with the people they like, and sometimes they’re incompatible? Also,” your eyes widened in sudden understanding, “humans don’t really know how to do that, and monsters can tire themselves out trying to synchronize things one-sidedly?”

Sans grinned proudly. “Seems like you’ve pretty much figured it out, but I’ll say it anyway. I’m mimicking my natural rhythm for my soul to focus on so I don’t unconsciously try to synch with yours. We’re not incompatible, but I can’t keep up a pace like yours for long. That’s, uh, way too exhausting. If the sound bothered you, I’d have figured something else out.”

You hummed curiously. “What does my soul pulse sound like? If you tapped it out like that.”

He probably should have expected you to ask about that, but he hadn’t. Sans felt your soul pulse, humming and popping like a river of electricity, and grinned strangely. “I can’t move my fingers that fast.”

“Oh.”

The conversation was about to die—he could feel it—and that would just make things that much more awkward, so Sans quickly tried to change the subject again.

“Well, now that that’s out of the way,” he offered what he hoped was a very enticing, welcoming smile. “You’re free to head home, or I’ve got movies and a widescreen TV. I’ll leave it up to you.”

To his relief, you returned the smile. “I’ll take a look at what you have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, at some point, I want to bring the reader’s brother into the story. There are two ways I can potentially play him, and both sound super fun to me, so imma let you guys decide!
> 
> Do you think the brother should be pro-monster and support the reader’s relationship with skelebae, or be anti-monster and against it? Let me know in the comments! 
> 
>  
> 
> **The vote has been decided. The brother will be pro-monster.**


	8. Party at Chloe’s Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which a movie and a cliché, and an opportunity to meet some friends of friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, you are all wonderful.
> 
> Thoughtful comments make me happy ;3

Sans had mostly sci-fi and comedy movies. You got enough laughs from Sans himself, so you focused on the sci-fi’s. Sifting through the pile, you found a movie that you’d actually been meaning to watch. You gave the case to Sans, and he set everything up while you waited on one end of the couch. When he was finished, he sat down on the other end of the couch, leaving plenty of room between you.

You realized it was a little strange for two people who were supposed to be dating to sit so far apart, but since you two currently had a no-touching policy active, this was appropriate.

It quickly became apparent that, though the action and drama in the movie were pretty good, the science was barely within the throes of reality. You had a great time mocking the film’s use of the word “motherboard” and the godly abilities they assigned silicon, and Sans actually knew enough on the topics to follow what you were saying. Occasionally he would throw out complaints too, like about how wrong the black hole in the movie was and about FTL theory.

“You know a lot outside of particle physics, huh Sans?”

“Well, I have a Doctorate in Quantum physics, a Masters in astrophysics, and another Masters in particle physics. It was just easiest to get a job in particle physics, so that’s what I’m doing.”

Hold on. That was too much! Monsters had only been on the surface for six years. How could Sans have two Masters and a PhD?

“Where the hell did you find time for all that?”

Sans leaned back in his seat. He looked a little like he might fall asleep. “After Monsters first came to the surface and got the all the legal issues sorted out, local colleges threw together a bunch of accelerated degree programs so educated monsters could quickly get their qualifications and start working. If it weren’t for that, I’d stillbe working on my Masters.”

Good, that was the least of what humanity owed them. “What did you have to do?”

Sans shrugged. “They made me sit down and take a bunch of tests, complete some projects. Once I’d done that, I just had to publish some of my previous work under my name and submit that, and they gave me their stamp of approval. Took two years— plus one year of waiting for monsters to legally be allowed to publish dissertations and stuff.”

“Damn. But you still knew everything you needed before that, right? I’m pretty sure you’d have skipped grades even if you’d always lived on the surface.”

If Sans had published his work, it’d be in some online database. Maybe you should look it up and give it a read? Could be interesting. You’d stopped going to school after you got your Masters, but you might go back someday. Reading a proper dissertation could be a good future reference. 

 

You were about halfway through the movie now, and the suspenseful action was making your throat dry. Gesturing to Sans that he didn’t have the pause the movie, you stood up to go get a drink from the kitchen. You poured yourself a tall glass of milk (since he didn’t have soda, and at least it was more interesting than water) and walked back to the living room. When you were about to sit down, a loud crashing noise burst from the speakers. A major spacecraft had exploded. It startled you enough to make you jump, spilling about half your glass of milk all the way down your front.

“Oh, fuck!” You gasped at the cold and tried not to drip on Sans’s carpet.

“Whoa, okay. Hang on a second,” Sans paused the movie and stood up. A roll of paper towels flew into his hands from the kitchen—surrounded by the same blue glow as before—and he quickly tore off a few sheets to hand to you. You did your best to mop things up, but it was milk; it was going to get stiff and start to smell.

“Shit,” you murmured defeatedly. “Maybe I should go home and clean up.”

“Are ya sure you want to stay like that until then?” Sans rubbed the back of his neck and looked off somewhere distant. “I have a shower and some clothes you can borrow, if you want, and we can wash the stuff you’ve got on now while we finish the movie.”

You hesitated. “I dunno, Sans. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s not that much trouble,” he insisted. “Besides, I’m your boyfriend, right?” he sounded unsure of himself. “I should help with this sort of thing.”

You double checked yourself. Right, this sort of thing was normal for couples. Of course you could use his shower and clothes. “Alright,” you conceded. “Just make sure you wash them in cold water, okay?”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll go grab some things you can wear while your clothes dry.”

You hung out in front of the bathroom door, waiting, and Sans came out of his room with a small pile of folded clothes. It looked like he’d given you a few options in case something didn’t fit right.

“Thanks. I’ll, uh, drop my clothes in a pile outside the door.”

“Sure. I’ll give you some space.” He grinned shyly and retreated to the living room.

The bathroom was decently clean. There were two discarded towels just kind of sitting in the corner of the floor, and the toilet seat was dusty, but there weren’t any questionable stains or anything. You stripped down to your bare skin and opened the door just wide enough to slip your clothes outside, shutting and locking it after. The shower had a bath attached, and a screen wall made of distorted glass for privacy. Inside was a bottle of liquid body soap, a big soft sponge, and a brush on a stick. There wasn’t any shampoo or shaving products, for obvious reasons. You just needed to rinse off though, so you borrowed the soap and sponge and gave your front a quick scrub under the hot water. You succeeded in keeping your hair from getting wet, though the steam did cling to it some.

You got out and dried off with a towel that _wasn’t_ crumpled on the floor, then examined the clothes Sans had given you in greater detail. There was a black T-shirt with a snippet of computer code on the front that translated into a super geeky joke, a grey turtleneck sweater, a pair of black sweatpants, blue jeans, and black athletic shorts.

You tried on the sweater first: it hugged your form a little tightly, but you were surprised how cute it looked like that. The sleeves were just long enough to be comfortable.

Satisfied with that, you tried on the jeans, but they kind of stopped at your thighs. Sans owned them because they fit _his_ skeleton ass, after all. The sweatpants were able to stretch, but they rode up too high on your ankles, which felt weird and wrong. You crossed your fingers that the athletic shorts would fit. The waistband wasn’t too tight if you pulled it up past your hips. It left them a little short, but they looked good.

The athletic shorts and tight grey turtleneck together were surprisingly cute, but it was definitely an “at home” kind of outfit.

You walked back to the living room to see Sans fiddling with his phone.

“You put my clothes in the wash, right?”

“Yeah. I set it on speed cycle. Cold water, just like you asked.”

He looked up and suddenly flushed dark blue, eyelights flickering off in his sockets. You shifted in sudden embarrassment. “Do I look weird or something?”

His eyelights blinked back into existence and he shook his head quickly. “No! The opposite! You look really cute in those. Definitely better than me when I wear them.”

“Really?” You looked yourself over curiously and grimaced. It was getting colder fast, and you’d pretty much given up on shaving your legs for the season. You weren’t thinking about that when you were in the bathroom. “My legs are kinda hairy and gross, though. Maybe I should switch back to the sweatpants, even though they were too short.”

“I guess, if it bothers you,” Sans said slowly, “but I don’t think it’s gross.”

“Really? Usually I’d shave them, but I never wear shorts once it gets cold out, so I haven’t been bothering lately.”

Sans’s eyelights suddenly got big and fuzzy, then quickly shrank down again.

“What’s that look for?” you chuckled despite yourself.

“I, uh… I thought female body hair was a seasonal thing for humans. I didn’t realized you shaved it off.”

You were caught off guard by that and burst out laughing. “Oh my god, Sans! That’s hilarious! Hahaha! I _wish_ it was a seasonal thing, that would save me so much effort.”

Sans blushed again and chuckled, and you had a stroke of genius.

“Then again, I guess it’s still a fashion-seasonal phenomenon.” You winked and Sans laughed out loud.

“Not bad,” he chuckled as you reclaimed your place on the couch.

“Thanks,” you smiled proudly. “Alright, now let’s finish the movie.”

 

After the movie ended, you and Sans chatted about what you liked and didn’t like about it until the dryer chimed that it was finished with your clothes. You went back into the bathroom to change and tried to give Sans his things back, but he handed the grey turtleneck sweater back to you.

“You can keep this one, if you want. It looked good on you.”

“Are you sure?” You took it in your hands, but hesitated. “You’re sure you won’t miss it?”

“It’s fine,” he shrugged. “The sleeves were always too long on me, and you probably stretched it out anyway.”

Your eyebrows shot up and you folded your arms, giving the little comedian a challenging glare. You were just teasing him, honestly, but it was really funny seeing him wear the skeleton equivalent of the “I fucked up!” face.

“Are you calling me fat, Sans?”

He gave a single choked laugh. “Heh. I was wondering when I’d finally stick my foot in my mouth. You’re not fat, (y/n), but even if you were, I would still think you’re perfect.”

Your teasing face vanished and you tilted your head. “Sans, you’re not hiding a medical degree in your stack of diplomas, are you?”

He frowned (well, as close as he could come to it with his semi-malleable skeletal face), “No. Why?”

“Because that was an expert-level foot-in-mouth removal surgery you just pulled off.”

Sans grinned and his eyelights brightened at the joke. “Thanks. I’m not sure if that would have worked if you were _actually_ mad at me, though.”

“Saw through me, huh?”

“From my perspective, you’re wearing your soul on your sleeve. I knew you were just messing with me, but your acting was so good I was nervous anyway.”

You smiled and looked down at the limp sweater in your arms, “I totally did stretch this out, though. Maybe I should add another day to my running schedule.”

Sans tipped his head at you in an “Are you serious?” look. “Probably not healthy to be comparing yourself with a skeleton there, (y/n).”

You looked at him blankly for a minute and then broke down laughing. “Hahaha! Oh my god! I totally was, wasn’t I? _Wow_. Okay, well I’m gonna go.”

“Yeah, it’s getting late. Drive safe. I’ll see you later.”

“I will. Later, Sans.”

 

You arrived home and threw your new sweater into your laundry basket. As promised, you contacted Chloe to let her know how it went.

 

You 9:22pm

Hey

 

Chloe 9:24pm

Hey, girl!

How was dinner?

 

You 9:24pm

He makes good burgers.

 

Chloe 9:24pm

So everything went well?

 

You 9:24pm

Yep. I was weirdly comfortable around him tonight.

 

Chloe 9:25pm

Did you kiss??

 

You 9:26pm

Um… no?

Not that comfortable. Just relaxed.

Also, how even? He doesn’t have lips.

 

Chloe 9:26pm

Hm. That’s a problem, yeah.

Guess you’re in charge of the kissing.

 

You 9:26pm

It’s up to me anyway, since I’m the only one who isn’t ready yet

 

Chloe 9:26pm

Babe, you’ll be ready when you’re ready.

Sans gets that. That’s why I approve of him.

 

 

You and Sans both worked during the week, so you were pretty much only in contact via texts. You only worked half the day on Fridays, and Chloe had Fridays off, so that became your girl day. This week, that meant sitting in and binge watching a new show on Netflix together.

“So do you and Sans have any plans this weekend?”

“He hasn’t said anything yet. I should probably ask.”

“Okay. ‘Cause if not, I have a handful of friends coming over from another city, and we’re gonna have a little party at my place. Nothing fancy: just some friends chatting, drinking, and maybe playing some games and shit. You and Sans are my friends, so you’re both invited.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit up, then you frowned. “When is it and when were you going to tell me?”

“It’s tomorrow at one o’clock, and I’m telling you now. Unlike the rest of them, you didn’t have to make plans to drive, and I kinda thought you’d just want to be alone with your new boyfriend instead.”

“Chloe, you’re my best friend, and Sans and I have only been dating for a week. You still get dibs on me for, like, everything.” She smiled proudly and you chewed your lip. “Will they be cool with Sans?”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “I’m not friends with bigots. If they’re assholes, they can leave. I like all of them, but people change and I don’t know for sure how they feel about monsters. I’ll have his back, though, so don’t worry too much.”

You smiled at her and picked up your phone.

 

You 2:45pm

Hey, do you have plans tomorrow at 1?

Chloe’s having a party with some friends and she invited us.

 

Sans 2:46pm

a party? cool. it’s been a while

 

You 2:46pm

It’s nothing big, she says. You’re coming?

 

Sans 2:46pm

of course

 

You 2:46pm

Cool. Want me to pick you up around 12:40?

I mean, if you just wanna teleport, I can send you the address,

But I thought it might be good to arrive together.

 

Sans 2:46pm

ya, riding with u sounds good

c u 2morrow

 

You 2:46pm

Yup!

 

“And that’s a yes from Sans,” you said, slipping your phone into your pocket.

 

 

The next day, you were dressed in nice casual wear, ready to have fun. You parked at Sans’s apartment and shot him a text that you’d arrived. He strolled outside in jeans and his favorite blue jacket, and you unlocked the door for him to get inside.

“I don’t think I’ve ridden in one of these things since I moved here,” he mused, pulling his seatbelt buckle shut.

You laughed. “Nice to see you too Sans,” and he gave you a prankster’s grin. You took your car out of park and started to back up. “Yeah, I don’t think I would either if I could teleport anywhere I wanted.”

“Not anywhere,” he replied. “I can only teleport to places I’ve been before, and moving larger distances takes more magic. The farthest I can go in one jump is about twenty miles, and that would pretty much wipe me out.”

“I dunno. Saving twenty minutes on the highway sounds worth it.”

“Heh. I don’t care about saving time, I’m just too lazy to walk places. If you’re driving me, I don’t care how far we’re going.”

“So,” you hesitated for a moment, wondering if what was about to come out of your mouth would sound rude, but you shook your head and told yourself Sans would love it. “You’re a real lazybones, huh?”

He laughed out loud. Not as much as you were expecting, though. Must’ve heard that one before.

“Yep, but you know, lazy people are great in bed.” You almost choked on your own spit and glanced frantically at him out of the corner of your eye. Even though you had to keep most of your attention on the road, you still caught his shit-eating grin as he stared at you.

“Yeah?” you prompted.

“Yeah.” He turned to face directly forward in his seat, eyes on the road, but grin still firmly planted. “I could sleep for _days_.”

You laughed at that and struggled to keep your eyes open wide enough to still see the road. After you calmed down, you had the good sense to consider something.

“You remembered to bring your medicine, right?”

“What, you mean the stuff I need to eat or drink literally any non-magical food besides water? Nah, totally forgot it.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sarcasm noted. But seriously, you remembered to bring it, right?”

“Eyyup.” Sans reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a little green pill bottle, shaking it once to prove there was something inside. “I’d have to be a real bonehead to forget.”

“Pretty sure you _are_ a real bonehead,” you quipped.

“Touché.”

“How do they work anyway?”

“Magic,” Sans waggled his fingers and you groaned.

“You’re snarky today. Nervous?”

Sans’s eyelights flickered, and his extra-wide grin faded to something weaker. He shoved his hands in his pockets and slouched. “Yeah, a bit.”

“Don’t be,” you smiled encouragingly. “I may not know any of these people, but Chloe and I will both have your back if any of them turn out to be assholes. If you’re uncomfortable, just stick close to me, alright?”

Sans chuckled. “Yeah, alright.” A minute passed and, “So, uh, the pills. They’re basically magic boosters. They make my magic strong enough to break down human food and supplement the magical energy I would have gotten from a normal meal. Honestly, if I take one of those, I don’t need to eat anything else. Monsters only really eat human food for fun.”

“Huh. Kinda the same reason humans eat monster food, I guess? So how long do they last for?”

“‘Bout an hour.”

You pulled up to Chloe’s apartment and found noticeably fewer parking spaces compared to usual. Still, you found a spot that was pretty close and got out of your car. Sans watched you smooth out your clothes one too many times and chuckled.

“Why are _you_ nervous?”

You smiled wryly. “Meeting new people, I guess. Am I that obvious?” Sans shrugged and you took a deep breath, smiling confidently. “Alright. We’re going to have fun tonight.”

“I’m ready when you are,” he said lazily.

He had his hands stuffed in his pockets, and you stared down at them, frowning and finally holding your hand out to him. Sans’s eyelights narrowed on your hand and then shifted up to your face, glowing bigger and brighter.

“Are you serious?”

“We’re arriving together,” you said firmly, though your heart was fluttering. “I want to do it properly.”

He pondered your words and slowly drew his hand out of his pocket. “Remember, you can change your mind anytime.” His hand looked still and relaxed, but the lights in his eye sockets were faintly flickering. He was just as nervous as you were, you guessed.

You resolved yourself and made the clasp. His bones were smooth and cold. They felt dry and delicate like ceramic. His hand was already smaller than yours length-wise, but the lack of flesh made it feel _so small_. It really felt like holding something inanimate, and you sincerely hoped he wasn’t as fragile as he felt.

Sans shifted his hand in yours so the position was more natural, and an involuntary shiver traveled up your spine. It was weird. Your brain couldn’t reconcile how he was moving, and it told you that something was wrong if you could feel bones on your skin, but that voice wasn’t as loud as it used to be. You had hope that you could actually get used to this.

“Are you okay, (y/n)?” Sans “frowned” at you in concern, and you smiled kindly.

“I’m alright. It’s a little weird, but… yeah.” You finished lamely and chuckled. “How about you, Sans? Are you okay?”

“Never held a human’s hand before,” he admitted with a shy laugh. “You’re warmer than I thought, and soft.” He tilted his head curiously and looked at your hand. “What’s that thumping?”

You tipped your head right back. “You mean my pulse? That’s just my blood circulating.”

“Huh. So that’s what that feels like.”

“Is it weird?”

He shook his head. “No, just interesting.”

Once you’d both adjusted to the new experience, you made your way to the door to Chloe’s. You rang the doorbell, hearing footsteps approach from the other side. The door swung open and revealed an unfamiliar woman’s face, still looking over her shoulder and laughing at something someone else had said. The light, heat, and sound from inside streamed out, and suddenly you were excited to get inside and make new friends.

The woman turned her head to greet you, long blonde hair swaying, and smiled.

“Hey! You must be (y/n) and,” her eyes drifted down and her smile stiffened. You felt Sans’s hand tighten around yours fractionally. “Sans?” The woman took a quick breath and shook her head, putting her smile back to the way it should be. “I’m Anna, one of Chloe’s friends, obviously. Come on in, I guess!”

Anna stepped aside to let you and Sans in. You could see three more people sitting and chatting in the living room area: two guys and one girl. You couldn’t see Chloe anywhere, but there were voices and sounds coming from the kitchen, so she was probably there.

You followed Anna to where everyone else was sitting, and the bright conversation died down. “So, we should have everybody now,” Anna said, while the other three took their time to examine you and Sans. Mostly Sans. He kept a lazy smile firmly planted on his skull, but you could see the edges were a little tight. “Let’s do the introductions one last time.”

A pale girl with thick dark hair stood up from the couch and marched right up to you, holding out her hand and grinning mischievously. “So you’re the badass bitch who stole best friend status from me.” You checked her eyes for signs of hostility, but there was nothing but fierce friendliness there, so you took her hand and she gave it a firm shake. “I’m Karen.”

“Nice to meet you, Karen,” you said politely. “I’m (y/n).”

When your hands separated, Karen immediately locked eyes with Sans and held her hand out again. He took it with barely masked surprise and she shook it firmly. “And her “funnybones” boyfriend. Ha! Fucking hell, Chloe, _now_ I get it. You tell jokes?”

Sans chuckled and grinned lazily. “Yeah. I’ve got a skele _ton_ of them.” Karen had a loud and boisterous laugh, and she released Sans’s hand to clutch her stomach. “Fuck! Didn’t even hesitate!” she gasped.

One of the guys, a well-built dude seated in an armchair leaned out so Karen wasn’t blocking him from view. “I’m Anna’s boyfriend, Josh. Nice to meet you, Sans and (y/n).”

“Nice to meet you too, Josh,” you waved. Anna went to sit on the arm of Josh’s chair, and you and Sans automatically looked at the last guy.

He was tall and thin and looked a little shy, but he smiled sweetly at both of them. “I go by Ren,” he said softly.

“Besides Chloe, is there anyone else?” you asked.

“There’s one more,” Anna nodded.

Karen had recovered from her laughing fit and returned to the couch, flopping back and kicking her feet up on the coffee table. “My girlfriend’s helping her put together snacks in the kitchen.”

“Oh!” You were briefly startled, but recovered almost immediately, “Do they need a hand?”

“Nope! We’re doing just fine,” Chloe’s voice came from behind you and you turned to see her and another girl carrying several large plastic plates and bowls filled with snacks. “We just need one more trip for the drinks. If anybody want something that won’t get you drunk, you can get it from the kitchen yourself.”

Chloe and the unnamed girl disappeared for another minute while you and Sans found seats for yourselves. They soon returned with beers and other drinks, and Karen’s girlfriend stood in front of you, holding out a bottle in each hand. She was a petite Latina girl with a very soft alto voice.

“I’m Imana. Welcome to the party.”

You smiled and took one beer, and Sans accepted the other. “I’m (y/n).”

She smiled and nodded at you, then looked at Sans. “This is your boyfriend?”

Sans smiled and quipped, “In the flesh.” Karen barked a laugh from her spot on the couch. “The name’s Sans, Sans the skeleton.” He held out his hand automatically, but Imana took it just as easily as Karen had.

“It’s nice to meet both of you.” She smiled brightly. “Let’s get drunk together and become friends.”

She and Chloe took their seats, and you started to tug uselessly at the cap on your beer. There was a bottle opener going around, but only slowly. Suddenly the piece of metal lit up blue and removed itself. You glanced at Sans who was grinning at you while removing the cap from his own drink.

“Thanks,” you smiled crookedly.

“No problem,” he muttered, fishing his pills out of his pocket. Apparently, pressing one to his mouth was enough. It dissolved in just a second and he tipped his beer back against his teeth. Looking at it from this new angle sitting beside him, you marveled again how he didn't just spill his drink everywhere, but it apparently vanished as soon as it hit bone.

“Okay,” Chloe set her drink down. “Everybody knows each other. What do we wanna do first?”

“Maybe we should start with something we need to be sober for,” Ren suggested.

“Alright, so games,” Anna interpreted.

“I’ve got Apples to Apples and Pictionary,” Chloe offered.

“Or we could do stuff like Two Truths and a Lie and Never Have I Ever.” Karen proposed. “Losers get to take a drink.”

“That’s just going to get us all drunk faster,” you pointed out, and Imana giggled like that was a great idea.

“How about we start with Apples to Apples and snacks, and then we can move on to the drinking games,” Chloe compromised.

It was her party, so everybody just kind of nodded, and the night began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soul chart in case anybody was curious. (Also for me for future reference.)  
> Reader: yellow soul, justice  
> Sans: cyan soul, patience  
> Chloe: blue soul, integrity  
> Anna: green soul, kindness  
> Karen: red soul, determination  
> Josh: orange soul, bravery  
> Ren: green soul, kindness  
> Imana: yellow soul, justice


	9. Drink and Become Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *in which lots of drinking and a slightly awkward breakfast.

The board games were fun, but the drinking games were really interesting; you were able to learn things about all of your new acquaintances, including the facts that Imana had done jail time, Sans the skeleton had had a pet dog, and Anna had slept with a monster called a Madjick once before she was with Josh.

It wasn’t long before people’s beer bottles were going empty.

“How about something stronger?” Karen winked, nodding at a few colorful bottles set up on the coffee table. Apparently, she and Imana had brought them from home.

“What kinds are they?” you asked curiously.

“The red bottle is fire wine, the blue bottle is heavy icebrew, and the green bottle is green waterlily,” Imana recited smoothly, an enticing smile on her narrow face.

“I’ve never heard of any of those,” you said flatly.

“I’ve heard of fire wine,” Ren stated ominously.

Sans chuckled and looked at you with soft eyelights. “They’re all monster alcohol,” he explained, then he looked at the two women curiously. “Are you two from Ebbot? This stuff still hasn’t spread very far.”

Karen smiled smugly, “We’re from Surface City.”

Sans’s eyelights grew wider, and he gave the couple a look of respect.

You were familiar enough with current events to know about Surface City. When monsters first came out from the underground, they were given space to live in Ebbot, a human city already settled at the base of the mountain. Within the first two years, though, monsters and humans worked together to create Surface City right next to the ancient entrance to the underground. Thanks to that, monsters could have another safe place to live where they wouldn’t be so cramped. It was basically a place where only monsters and the humans who helped build it lived; humans there were almost violently pro-monster.

Knowing where Karen and Imana came from made you feel a little better about how relaxed they were when they met Sans. Your initial reaction toward him was still a sore memory for you.

“I can’t believe you brought icebrew in this weather,” Josh said incredulously.

“ _Heavy_ icebrew,” Anna nudged him. “It’s not as bad as the lite stuff.”

“I’m just gonna stick with beer,” he shook his head.

The blonde shrugged and stood up. “I’ll help myself to some waterlily.”

You noticed how familiar these two also seemed with the selection and couldn’t help asking, “Are you two from Surface city too?”

“No, Ebbot,” Anna shook her head. “I was already living there before the barrier broke. Josh moved in with me after we met online and had been dating a while.”

“I feel boring,” Ren chuckled. You and Chloe nodded sympathetically.

Chloe was willing to experiment, so she opened up the blue bottle and poured herself a glass. She took one sip, coughed, and set the glass down with a “nope!”

“What’s it taste like?” Ren asked, picking the cup up and examining the ice blue liquid curiously.

“Like liquid nitrogen and blueberries,” she grimaced. Tugging at the collar of her sweatshirt, she glared at Karen and Imana. “That’s definitely a summer drink. Why did you bring it when it’s freaking forty degrees Fahrenheit outside?”

“Just give it a minute,” Karen smirked. “Icebrew _lite_ is a summer drink. _Heavy_ icebrew cools you off first and then leaves you warm and cozy.”

Chloe furrowed her eyebrows, face already flushed. “You sure I’m not just tipsy?”

“Probably, you are both,” Imana chuckled. “We told you they were strong.”

Chloe frowned and pulled her sweatshirt off, stripping down to just a T-shirt. It took her more time than it should have to navigate out of the covering; she was clearly drunk already.

Ren didn’t miss how strongly his friend was affected by the drink, so he took a curious sip from her cup. First, he winced because of the cold, but then his face started to flush. “Wow, that _is_ strong.”

He took one more tentative sip and then set the glass back down on the tabletop. Imana scooped it up and tipped back half the glass, licking her lips and smiling provocatively at you as her face flushed deep red.

“Monsters know how to have fun,” she purred.

You were curious now, so you poured a glass of the stuff for yourself, starting off with a small sip. It felt like the most intense spearmint cold you’d ever ingested and tasted like blueberries. For a moment, you were left shivering, but the drink suddenly turned warm when it reached your stomach. At about the same time, your head became just that little bit more clouded.

“Whoa.” You took a fuller sip and the heat and drunkenness were interrupted before increasing a step. You stared down at the ice blue liquid with hot eyes. “This is definitely bad news.”

Karen barked another laugh from across the table. “You’d be surprised. Monster alcohol is made of magic, so it doesn’t go through your liver or other organs. It’s the safest stuff to get smashed on.” She cracked the bottle of fire wine and poured herself a glass of flickering orange and red liquid, smiling dangerously. “The hangover will go straight to your soul though.”

You eyed your cup like you expected it to say something insulting, and Anna reached over to nudge your shoulder, holding up her glass of powder-pink liqueur. “This stuff doesn’t hit quite as hard. Probably better for a beginner.”

You shrugged and picked up a new glass, tipping the green bottle over it. This drink was much sweeter and didn’t make you want to immediately take a nap; you sipped on it slowly, rather enjoying the bright and clean tingling feeling it left you with.

Josh risked a sip of Karen’s fire wine and regretted it. He, Chloe, and Ren nursed cups of regular human alcohol for the rest of the night. Meanwhile, Karen realized nobody else wanted to share the fire wine and started drinking directly from the bottle. You and Anna slowly worked through the green waterlily, and Sans finally finished the latest beer he’d been working on.

Imana gave him a calm smile from across the table and gestured to the blue bottle of monster alcohol. “Can you hold your liquor?”

Sans grinned lazily back, “You wanna find out?”

And finally, there was a drinking competition at this party.

You and the others watched on in mild amusement. Imana was small and thin, and you didn’t think she’d be able to hold much alcohol, but apparently, magic alcohol tolerance wasn’t dependent on body weight. In fact, if it was, Sans would be the lightest lightweight ever, but he was tipping back glass after glass without any problem. He wasn’t even flushed yet.

Karen tipped her bottle back and took a long swig, then draped her arm around Imana’s shoulder. “This is boring, babe. Raise the stakes a little if you’re gonna compete!”

Imana’s face was already heavily flushed, but her eyes weren’t cloudy yet. She locked looks with Sans and twitched one edge of her lips up in a smile. “Loser owes the winner a favor?”

“Normally, I hate making bets and promises, but I don’t think I’m gonna lose, so…” Sans raised his glass in a mock cheer, “Sure.”

Imana was formidable, and Sans was shockingly a major heavyweight. Before a clear winner was decided, they’d drained the bottle, so you and Anna gave up your green waterlily to keep it going. When that was gone too, Karen shoved the fire wine at Imana. The Latina tipped the bottle back, but there were only a few sips left. Sans looked around and his eyelights settled on your abandoned glass of heavy icebrew.

He took the cup in his phalanges and looked at you blankly. “Do you mind?”

You smiled and shook your head. “S'all yers,” you slurred pleasantly.

Sans grinned and tipped the glass back, draining it all in a single gulp. Finally, his cheekbones were flushed blue.

Imana searched for something to catch up with, but there was only human alcohol left. Her blushing face hardened and she reached for some vodka to try and continue, but her eyes were out of focus after just two shots. Sans had to take another pill to continue, since the first one had worn off, but he didn’t seem to fare any worse with human alcohol than with magic alcohol. Granted, he was good and flushed now, but his white eyelights were sharp and focused, and he had a teasing winner’s grin on his face.

Imana pointed a wiry tanned finger at him and frowned, her Spanish accent was thicker when she was drunk. “Ffuck you, you grinning bastard. Fucking hhevyweight skeleton. You win. I owe hyou a favor. Whatt you want?”

“I’ll save it for when you’re sober,” he chuckled. His voice sounded even hotter when he was tipsy. Or was that because  _you_ were already fucking smashed?

The Latina grunted and fished a phone out of her pocket, actually tossing it at the skeleton. Sans used his magic to catch it, and you let out a sigh of relief; you could almost hear the sound of glass cracking against hard bones the same way it would on linoleum.

Sans glared at the touch screen and you drunkenly giggled, making uncoordinated grasping motions to get him to hand it over.

“Whas yer passwrd?” You giggled and asked.

Imana was slouched back on the couch and rattled off some drunken numbers in Spanish. You furrowed your brow and squinted at the phone, carefully pressing each button. You unlocked it on the second try and opened up her contacts, finding her number and showing it to Sans. He pulled out his flip phone and quickly typed everything in, then sent a short text so she had his number too.

Karen took Imana’s phone back for her, and you waved at Anna.

“Gimme yers!” You smiled brightly.

You and the blonde exchanged numbers, and Karen forcefully put her number into your phone as well. You weren’t really sure what happened after that, except that you’d somehow gotten your hands on the vodka.

 

You woke up in a place you didn’t recognize. Your head felt fuzzy and you were fucking wiped, but the sheets wrapped around you were warm and soft, and the lighting was dim and cozy.

Still, you knew better than to just blindly be at ease in an unfamiliar place. You peeled the covers off and twisted yourself until you were sitting sideways on the mattress. You stretched your arms over your head and noted you were still wearing your clothes from last night. You desperately wanted water and a shower, as soon as you found out where you were. Your memory of last night just kind of cut off at one point, which was worrying.

If you hadn’t been drinking while surrounded by friends, you would have been far more concerned.

You stepped out from the room you’d been in and took a moment to reorient yourself. You’d only been here once before, but you clearly recognized Sans’s apartment.

… Why the hell had you woken up in his bed?

Leaking trepidation, you tiptoed to the end of the short hall and peeked around the corner. A breath of relief left you when you saw Sans sleeping on the couch, blanket half on him and half on the floor.

According to your phone, it was 10:30 am. You’d slept in pretty late, but your hangover wasn’t as bad as you’d expected. What was it that Karen had mentioned last night? Something about magic alcohol going straight to the soul? That must be why your head didn't feel like it was splitting open and your stomach wasn't tied in knots.

You shuffled to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of water. The cool, clean liquid revitalized you, and you peered back over at your sleeping skeleton boyfriend. Something warm touched your heart and you poured a second glass of water.

A few weeks ago, the sight of Sans sleeping would have definitely frightened you. To your untrained eyes, he would have looked dead, but now you could see the finer details. You saw his eye sockets shuttered closed and the slow, shallow rise and fall of his ribcage. There was something else, too, that you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but you distinctly knew that Sans was a living creature.

That tender feeling still nestled deep inside you, you freed up one of your hands and brushed the top of Sans’s skull. It was smooth and cool. You were still a little warm and flushed after last night, so it felt good against your skin.

Sans shifted under your touch and his eye sockets fluttered open, lights brightening slowly. He looked at you dully for a second, then his eyelights shrank to pinpricks and his breath caught.

“(y-y/n)?” he asked, cheekbones turning blue.

“Good morning, Sans,” you spoke softly, a bright smile on your face. You offered him the spare glass, “Here. Thirsty?”

“U-uh,” you’d stopped petting his head and he took a moment to recover himself. “Sure. Thanks.”

He sat up on the couch and you took a seat in the space next to him, leaving a little safe space between you two. You slowly enjoyed your drink and peered over at Sans. He had drained his entire glass in one go, but his cheeks were still flushed and he was avoiding eye contact.

“So,” you started, “do you have any idea what happened last night after we started trading numbers around? Because I’m completely drawing a blank.”

“Oh, last night, huh?” the blush subsided and Sans smiled disarmingly. “Nothing important happened. Don’t worry about it.”

You hummed and finished your water. “Did you drive me here?”

“Yep.”

“Why didn’t you just take me to my place?”

You weren’t upset or anything, just a little curious. If Sans had taken you home, he could have slept in his own bed last night.

The skeleton tipped his head at you and smiled strangely. “I don’t know where you live.”

You blinked and furrowed your brow. No, that couldn’t be right. Surely you must have given him your address at some point? But you searched through your memory and couldn’t find anything.

“Oh, wow. You’re right. Sorry, I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret or anything.” You pulled out your phone and quickly shot off a text detailing your address.

Sans’s phone buzzed and he shrugged. “S’no problem.” The skeleton stood up and stretched, which made no logical sense when you thought about it, but you weren’t intending to think too hard about anything where the explanation was literally “magic~”.

“I’m gonna shower,” he sighed, peeking at you with bright eyelights. “Feel free to stick around. I’ll make you something for breakfast when I’m done.”

“Oh. Okay.” Breakfast sounded nice. If it tasted anything like the last meal the skeleton had cooked for you, he’d have a harder time getting you to leave.

You made yourself at home, digging the remote out of a blanket pile and turning on the TV. You were starting to get invested in some kind of go-kart making/racing reality show when you heard the bathroom door open.

Sans didn’t have hair to get wet or skin to flush, so the only thing that indicated he’d actually showered was his change of clothes. He was wearing a similar at-home outfit as the last time you’d been over: athletic shorts and a T-shirt. Looking at his smooth white bones, you wondered if they even got dirty enough to warrant showering.

The fridge door made a sound as the suction released, and Sans peered inside. “Omelets sound good?” he asked.

“Sounds great,” you called back, flipping the TV off. “Mind if I use the shower too?”

“Nah. It's all yours. If you need a change of clothes, you can grab something from my room.”

“Thanks.”

You stood up and went back to the room you woke up in, looking through the closet and drawers for anything that looked like it’d fit. In the end, you went with a pair of athletic shorts just like Sans was wearing and a plain white T-Shirt. You felt it was lucky that Sans seemed to prefer loose, casual clothes: things that you had a chance to fit into.

You brought your selection into the bathroom and took a quick shower, deciding it’d be easier on your hair to skip washing it than to try and wash it with body soap. When you were clean and dressed you stepped outside to the smell of eggs and cheese. Your omelet was waiting for you at the table, still hot. Sans had half-finished his while you were showering.

“Smells good,” you said, beelining for the kitchen. You sat down and took a bite. It was just an egg and cheese omelet, obviously nothing special, but it was good anyway. You were hungrier than you thought, so you finished quickly and leaned back in your seat satisfied. “I needed that, thanks.”

“No biggy. I wouldn’t have eaten anything if I wasn’t already cooking for you, anyway.”

“Don’t they say breakfast is important?” you giggled.

Sans smiled unsurely. “Heh. Yeah.” He reached for your empty plate, but you picked it up before he could.

“Let me do the dishes. You cooked, after all.”

Sans tipped his head at you and shrugged, handing his plate over. “I’m not gonna argue with you if you’re offering to do my work for me.”

It was actually a little chilly in Sans's place for you to be wearing shorts and a T-shirt, but you washed the dishes in hot water and it warmed you up considerably. Sans kicked his chair back onto two legs and looked at something on his phone.

“Oh yeah. Hey, (y/n)?”

“What’s up?” you looked back over your shoulder and Sans looked up from his phone.

“My little bro’s coming to visit this Saturday. You wanna meet him?”

You didn’t try to hide your startled expression. “Really? I'd love to, but you two are really close, right? Are you sure you don’t want that time all to yourselves?”

“Normally, you’d be right,” he chuckled, “but there are three reasons you should come.”

You rolled your eyes at how he was making you play along. “What are they?”

“First,” he closed one eye socket and held up a boney finger, “Papyrus _loves_ people. The more the merrier.”

You smiled. You had gotten that sense from the stories Sans had told you about his extroverted younger brother.

“Second, having my two favorite people in the same room with me would make me really happy.”

You blushed and tried not to look at that winking face that was suddenly much more seductive than a skull should be allowed to be. The worst part was that Sans knew you liked his voice, and he was very obviously making it smoother and deeper on purpose.

“That’s a nice thing to say, Sans,” you huffed. “Don’t ruin it by using it to flirt.”

He chuckled and went back to looking at his phone screen. “Pretty sure you liked it, though.”

“I did not,” you tipped your chin up defiantly.

“I can see your soul, babe,” he chuckled. “Literally.”

Your hands stopped scrubbing for a minute, and you looked over your shoulder again. “Can you really tell how I’m feeling just by looking at it?”

“I can at least tell the difference between happiness and anger.”

You chewed your lip. “I don’t think I like that.” Sans blinked and looked up at you, eyelights small and intense. “I mean,” you trailed, “I literally can’t hide my feelings from you, but you’re so hard to read.” You wanted an equal relationship; that was the whole reason you were so upset that you weren’t sexually attracted to Sans the way he was to you.

The skeleton rubbed the back of his neck and smiled weakly. “Uh, sorry,” he trailed off and you expected him to say more, but he just kind of sat there in awkward silence. The longer it wore on, the more worry grew in your chest.

The bubble burst inside of you, “Fuck, I’m sorry. Was that a rude thing to say? I guess you can’t help not being very expressive.”

There was another gap in the conversation, and you felt increasingly guilty. You put the last clean dish on the drying rack and reached for the hand towel to dry your hands. Finally, Sans said something.

“I, uh, I’m sorry too. I hadn’t thought about that at all. Can you not tell my expressions apart?”

You sighed and leaned back against the counter. “I’m the one who was rude; you shouldn’t be apologizing. Anyway, I’m not completely in the dark. I can figure out the obvious things by focusing on your voice and body language. Your, uh, eyes? Those lights seem pretty dynamic, so I’ve been trying to figure out what all those expressions mean. I dunno. I’ll eventually get the hang of it, so don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have even said anything.”

Sans looked at you with one of his hard to read expressions and lowered his chin slightly, speaking softly. “That doesn’t mean you have to be in the dark. If you ask, I’ll tell you what I’m feeling. That’d be more fair, right?”

A smile spread across your face and your chest settled with a happy warmth. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

You decided to finish the task you’d started and dry all the dishes by hand, putting them back where they went. Sans went back to messing with his phone while he waited. A minute later, you closed the last drawer and suddenly tilted your head.

“What was the third thing?”

“Hm?” he looked up. “What third thing?”

“You said there were three reasons why I should meet Papyrus, then you only gave two.”

“Ah,” Sans put his phone down on the table and chuckled nervously, shoving his hands in his pockets. “About that. There’s something I should probably tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the cliffhanger. It's nothing you readers don't already know, so don't freak out. :3
> 
> Also, check out this beautiful fanart! I don’t deserve it! It makes me so happy!  
> Addicted-to-the-fic: [Various Scenes With Reader and Sans](https://addicted-to-the-fic.tumblr.com/post/182344347969/i-was-just-having-a-little-fun-and-made-some)  
> Kamiiireru: [The Phone Scene](https://kamiiireru.tumblr.com/post/182347911626/small-wip-of-my-fan-art-for-skeleton-kisses-by)


	10. You’re a Friendly Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which we see Sans’s take on the drinking party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t know where else to put this, so here *throws* take it! I’ll deal with the cliffhanger next time!
> 
> (I love all of you so much omg)

Sans was thrilled to be going to a party with you. He was a little worried that things might be awkward with a bunch of strangers, but he hoped that Chloe would have nice friends. He hadn’t had a chance to drink with friends in over a month, and it was well overdue. He was also simply excited that you two were going to ride together. Sitting in a car was a perfect excuse to be alone and close for a few minutes, which applied nicely to his goal of getting you more comfortable around him.

You drove and chatted, and Sans felt his nerves getting to him a little, but you were with him. You noticed he wasn’t as carefree as he usually tried to be and said some things that helped him relax.

“I may not know any of these people, but Chloe and I will both have your back if any of them turn out to be assholes. If you’re uncomfortable, just stick close to me, alright?”

Sans chuckled. “Yeah, alright.” Being close to you did more for his emotional well-being than anything in the world besides Papyrus. He would never want to leave your side if it were an option.

You pulled up to Chloe’s apartment and parked. Getting out of your car, Sans watched you smooth out your clothes one too many times and chuckled.

“Why are _you_ nervous?”

You smiled wryly. “Meeting new people, I guess. Am I that obvious?” Sans shrugged and you took a deep breath, smiling confidently. “Alright. We’re going to have fun tonight.”

“I’m ready when you are,” he said lazily.

Sans was giving you the lead since he didn’t know which apartment belonged to Chloe, but you weren’t going anywhere. You were just kind of standing there, staring down at something with an intense look on your face. Just when he was starting to feel anxious, you frowned and stuck your hand out in front of you.

You held it palm up: not too high, not too low. It was a downright textbook “take my hand” gesture, and… Sans couldn’t believe he was seeing it aimed at _him_.

His eyelights first narrowed on your hand in shock and then shifted up to your face, glowing bigger and brighter with hope and excitement.

“Are you serious?”

“We’re arriving together,” you said firmly. “I want to do it properly.”

There you went again, doing things because they were “correct” and not necessarily because you wanted to do them. Sans didn’t want to rely on that tendency of yours forever, but he did desperately want to touch you for the first time.

Sans slowly drew his hand out of his pocket and tried to keep his fluttering soul under control. “Remember, you can change your mind anytime,” he told you. He hoped he wasn’t showing his nervousness too much; looking calm and safe would be best. But _stars_ , he was so fucking excited, and he was so _fucking_ scared you would be repulsed by his touch.

You resolved yourself and made the clasp.

_Holy shit._

It was a good thing you weren’t looking at Sans’s face because it flushed dark blue at that moment, his white eyelights soft and fuzzy at the edges. Your hand was so soft and warm enveloping his. Sans already liked skin to start with, but he _loved_ yours and the feeling of it against his cool hard bones.

_Oh yeah, bones._

The blush receded as Sans checked your face, making sure you weren’t uncomfortable with touching him. To his relief, you merely seemed curious as you stared down at your clasped hands.

Sans shifted his hand in yours so the position was more natural, and he didn’t miss the tremor that shot through your body and soul. He knew immediately that you weren’t shaking with pleasure.

“Are you okay, (y/n)?” Sans looked at you in concern, but you just smiled kindly at him.

“I’m alright. It’s a little weird, but… yeah. How about you, Sans? Are you okay?”

 _Stars. Am I_ _okay_ _? I’m about to dust from happiness._

“Never held a human’s hand before,” he admitted with a shy laugh. He had shaken hands with them before, a few times. Truthfully, the number of times he’d been in direct contact with a human in his entire life was small enough to count on his phalanges. Pretty damn pathetic for a monster who openly liked humans.

“You’re warmer than I thought, and soft.” Sans felt something moving rhythmically just beneath your skin and tilted his head. “What’s that thumping?”

You tipped your head right back. _Fucking adorable._

“You mean my pulse? That’s just my blood circulating.”

O-oh! Right. He’d read about that. “Huh. So that’s what that feels like.”

“Is it weird?” You tucked your neck in cutely and looked at him.

Sans readily shook his head. “No, just interesting.”

It was kind of relaxing, actually, now that he was getting used to it. The rhythm of your heart was much slower than your soul, and he experimented with matching his soul pulse to it. It was nice.

 

Once you’d both taken a moment to feel things out, you led the way to Chloe’s apartment. A woman neither of you knew opened the door, letting the party atmosphere inside to leak out into the cold. The woman greeted you with a happy smile, then she saw him and stiffened.

Sans felt his soul thump in his ribcage. He realized rather suddenly that he didn’t want his friend’s friends to dislike him; that he wasn’t fully prepared for if he was turned away here. He wasn’t turned away, though. Anna, the woman, was willing to be friendly toward him.

There were more strangers inside, and they took their time staring at him. The creeping feeling of eyes on his bones bothered him in a way that he couldn’t tune out like usual.

Sans focused on the gentle beating of your heart and slowed his soul pulse down to match it. He refused to panic. Maybe this night wouldn’t work out, but it sure as hell wouldn’t be _his_ fault.

He was worrying too much again. Chloe wouldn’t have invited him if she thought her friends would be assholes. Three of them were distantly pleasant to him, and the other two outright shook his hand in greeting.

Every single one of Chloe’s friends had a bright, colorful soul. Karen’s blood red soul was the most intense; it reminded him a little of Frisk. Imana’s soul was the same yellow as yours, but with a very different soul pulse. She felt like an elegant yet chaotic dance compared to your strong electric river.

Josh had an orange soul, just like Papyrus. Papyrus’s soul was naturally weaker, being a monster, but Sans still proudly thought there was something irreplaceable about his brother’s soul that a human couldn’t match.

The last two strangers both had trustworthy green souls with no LV or EXP. Sans was relaxing with these good humans as company. He took his magic supplements and started to drink.

They started discussing what to do. Imana and Karen seemed keen on drinking games, but everyone compromised to play some sober games first.

Sans had to be taught how to play the human games Chloe brought out. They were pretty easy to understand, though, and you wasted some tens of minutes playing them. After that, you all already had a few beers in you and were anxious to accelerate the process. You moved on to drinking games.

Sans paid really close attention to all the answers you gave. He learned that you’d never been to the ocean, that you preferred your pie served with ice cream, that you thought bubble baths were underrated and salt baths were overrated, and so many other unimportant little things.

Everybody here had some interesting things to share about themselves, but you were still the one he wanted to know about the most.

As the drinking games went on, Chloe gradually ran out of beers to pass around. Seeing an opportunity to push her corrupted agenda, Karen winked mischievously, “How about something stronger?” Three colorful bottles sat waiting on the table.

“What kinds are they?” you asked curiously.

Sans recognized them all as monster alcohol, and Imana recited their names with practiced lips. The fact that the female couple had access to these was enough to make the skeleton raise an eyebrow, metaphorically speaking. He asked about it, and it turned out the girls were from Surface City.

That was practically the same as saying they’d been among the humans to fight for monster rights in the early months after the barrier was broken, when things were at their hardest for monsterkind.

Some of the shit that went down back then made the silent treatment Sans usually got these days seem like a kindness. He had stopped leaving the house for a while for fear of getting dusted by a flying beer bottle he failed to dodge. With his pathetic 1 HP, he couldn’t risk even a single hit or he would leave Papyrus alone in that hellish anarchy.

A minority of humans fighting tooth and nail for people they barely knew had helped monsters secure the same legal rights as humans and ended that nightmare. They even pitched in to build a new city where monsters could feel safe.

Sans couldn’t do much in return but give the couple a look of respect.

And then it turned out that Anna and Josh lived in Ebbot, where Papyrus lived. Even though Chloe was a cool person, Sans was still amazed so many of her friends lived in monster-friendly cities.

 

The humans around the table started to experiment with the monster alcohol. Sans leaned back in his seat and watched in amusement while slowly finishing the last of his beer. He watched especially closely when you tried your first sip. Your tipsy, flushed face was so fucking cute.

The heavy icebrew was apparently too strong for most of the people here, but drinking it alone was boring. When Sans set his empty beer bottle down, Imana locked eyes with him, smiled slyly, and invited him to a drinking competition. Sans gave a relaxed grinned and accepted.

Poor woman had no way of knowing he was one of the heaviest drinkers in the underground. It didn’t matter that he was smaller than her or had a weaker soul; his magic was strong enough to qualify him as a boss monster, and he’d spent years trying to drink his yet undiagnosed depression away. With no pesky organs to worry about, he wasn’t at risk of alcohol poisoning, so he just got drunk over and over, becoming a stronger drinker every time it happened.

He never went out with the intention of getting drunk anymore. The cost-efficiency was just terrible.

He had to admit, though, Imana was pretty strong herself. But when she proposed a bet where the loser would owe the winner a favor, he didn’t even have a reason to hesitate.

When they were getting down to the dregs of the monster alcohol, Sans spotted your abandoned glass of icebrew. He took the cup in his phalanges and looked at you with a carefully neutral expression. “Do you mind?”

You smiled and shook your head. “S’all yers,” you slurred pleasantly.

Sans grinned and tipped the glass back, draining it all in a single gulp. He enjoyed the thought that his teeth were touching where your lips had been, but he felt a little creepy even as he thought it. His cheekbones flushed with a combination of lust and shame.

Together, they finished all of the monster alcohol that was left and were forced to move on to the human stuff. Imana’s non-magical body gave her a disadvantage there.

Sans’s medicine had expired by then, so he had to take another magic supplement in order to physically be able to drink the human alcohol. Once that was done, though, he tipped the shots back effortlessly. He was good and flushed by the time the human woman gave in, but he was barely buzzed. His white eyelights were sharp and focused, and he had a teasing winner’s grin on his face.

Imana was upset to have lost, but she accepted it regardless. “Ffuck you, you grinning bastard. Fucking hhevyweight skeleton. You win. I owe hyou a favor. Whatt you want?”

“Grinning bastard” was a pretty racist thing to call a skeleton, but Imana was a good person and currently very drunk, so Sans let the insult roll off him easily. “I’ll save it for when you’re sober,” he chuckled.

The Latina grunted and fished a phone out of her pocket, and _freaking tossed it at him_. Sans used his magic to quickly catch it, making sure it ended its journey in one piece. He glared down at the touch screen phone like it had insulted his brother. Fucking touch screens were everywhere on the surface. How was a skeleton supposed to get anything done?

Luckily, you were watching the exchange and knew he needed someone to be his hands. With your help, he got access to her contact information and entered it into his phone. This started a chain number-sharing event where several people passed their phones around.

 

Everybody but Sans and Ren were pretty smashed by that point, you included, yet you’d somehow gotten your hands on some vodka that you really probably shouldn’t have been drinking.

You… were a really friendly drunk.

You started clinging to Chloe, petting her head and claiming that she was “yours,” and it was funny so nobody stopped you. Sans told you one of the worst knock knock jokes in his arsenal (figuring your drunken mind couldn’t handle thinking too hard about double meanings and stuff) and you were left lying on the floor laughing for three whole minutes. Karen was splayed over the back of the couch, suffering the same fate.

Sans looked around the room and sent Ren an amused smile. “These guys are staying the night, right? They can’t go home like this.”

The lanky guy quickly shook his head. “They are _not_ driving. Karen and Imana are staying in Chloe’s guestroom. I’m driving Anna and Josh back to my place for the night.” He took a sip of some soda. “You drank a lot, but you seem pretty sober. Are you okay to drive (y/n) home?”

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. Speaking of,” he glanced at the clock on his phone, “it’s getting pretty late. We should probably get going.”

Ren nodded and Sans looked to find where you had crawled off to. You were petting a throw pillow like it was a cat and had gotten your hands on another glass of vodka. Sans stood up and walked over, taking the cup from you as you were bringing it to your lips.

“Heyyy, not fair!” you gasped, reaching up to take it back. Sans held his arm higher, prompting you to stand up. You could easily outreach him at your full height, but your coordination was laughably bad, and you missed the glass twice. Sans chuckled and put the cup to his teeth, draining it in one go.

“Look, it’s all gone. Let’s go home.”

“Is not,” You furrowed your brows in an adorable look of concentration, trying hard to get your brain to connect the dots the way you wanted them. Your face lit up mischievously and you grabbed the bottle of vodka off the table, still half full.

“S’not gone,” you teased.

Sans sighed and took the bottle from you easily, tipping it back and pouring the entire contents into his skull. You whined in displeasure, and he wiped his teeth on his sleeve. You folded your arms but let Sans guide you outside, calling out goodbyes to everyone as you went. He got you into the passenger seat and buckled, and you were still pouting uncooperatively.

“Don’t be so upset,” Sans chuckled, “You couldn’t have kept drinking like that anyway; you would have passed out.”

“Ya could’ve shared tho,” You grumbled.

“And you would’ve passed out.”

You leaned toward him, frowning, “M’still thirsty.”

He chuckled and tapped his teeth. “Well, I drank all the vodka, so you can just wait and have some water when we—” With literally no warning, you closed in and licked his teeth. Sans’s skull stopped working. He didn’t even have time to process before you moved to do it again. He grabbed your shoulders and held you back.

“(y/n), what are you doing?!”

“I thought you’d taste like vodka,” you frowned. Clearly, you didn’t see any problem with the situation besides a lack of intoxicants.

Sans shook his head and started the car, trying very hard not to let his mind wander. You were drunk; he wouldn’t let himself do _anything_ with you while you were drunk.

The car got moving and you were quiet for a bit. Then, gazing out the window absently, you asked a question like you were chatting about the weather. “D’ya ever think about kissing me?”

Sans’s soul jumped and he hard-focused his attention to the road. Chuckling tightly, he deflected, “Why? Do you think about me kissing you?”

“No, you dun’ have lips.”

Something about the dismissiveness in your tone hurt. Just because he didn’t have lips didn’t mean he couldn’t kiss you, but it might mean he couldn’t do it the way you wanted. He didn’t know how to respond, but he didn’t have to; you fell asleep in your seat right after you said it.

Sans drove you back to his apartment and carried you to his bedroom bridal-style with the help of blue magic, and he couldn’t think of anything _but_ kissing you. He wouldn’t do that to you while you were vulnerable like this, but he wanted to. Lips or no lips, he wanted to.

He was relieved when you woke up the next morning without remembering anything and decided to just keep it that way. Anything you said or did when you were blackout drunk didn’t count. He would try to forget about it too.


	11. Bonetrousle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which a confession and The Great Papyrus!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three days devoted to a programming assignment. I finished it, and I could finally write again!
> 
> All of your wonderful comments made me so, so happy!

“There’s something I should probably tell you.”

Well, that wasn’t ominous at all. Your heart started beating faster at the obvious flag Sans had dropped. Thinking that news that followed words like those were rarely easy to stomach, you moved to sit back down at the table.

“Okay,” you prompted unsurely, “go ahead.”

Sans’s body language was casual, and that put you at ease a bit, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t dropped bombs on you before with that kind of lazy posture and grin.

“First things first, This is my problem, not yours. So don’t _make_ it your problem, okay?” He shrugged, “You tend to do that, which is why I waited so long to tell you in the first place. But, if you’re meeting Papyrus, there’s a pretty good chance he’ll blurt it out at some point, and I’d rather you hear it from me first.”

“The suspension is killing me, Sans. What’s the big secret already?”

He hesitated, chewing his words for a moment, then he spoke in a normal and measured voice that belied the gravity of his words. “I have major clinical depression.”

Oh _fuck_.

Sans raised a hand at you in a “stop” gesture. “No. I can see you starting to freak out and make it your problem. Don’t do that. At least let me finish explaining first.” You bit your tongue. “I've been kinda... tired a lot for as long as I can remember. Nobody knew I had depression until we came to the surface and I was diagnosed. They prescribed me medication, at first, but it didn’t work on a monster. So I’ve never really been treated for it.”

Fuck, fuck, _fuck_! Sans told you not to freak out, but you were definitely freaking out. What if you never became attracted to him or you decided to leave him and his depression got worse and he _fucking killed himself that would be your fault!_

Sans snapped his fingers in your face and brought you out of your head for a minute. “ _Please_ stop that. It’s not that bad, okay? I’ve never had suicidal thoughts and I’ve never tried to hurt myself. I've got nice, well-behaved symptoms. Like the urge to waste my whole life sleeping.”

“But,” your eyes felt hot, “won’t I just make it worse?”

“No. You won’t. I’ve been like this all my life. Technically, I’m not fine, but I’m _fine_. You deserved to know about it so I told you, but I don’t want you to worry about me all the time. I told you before to just do whatever makes you happy, and I meant that.”

You took a deep breath to calm yourself down and think it over properly. You’d had a friend in high school who had depression, but you weren’t really all that close. You did know that she self-harmed on bad days, and _she_ was on medication. Sans had told you that wasn’t the case with him, but that didn't stop you from worrying. You would keep a closer eye on him to make sure he was alright from now on, but the most important thing was, “So what can I do to help you?”

Sans tilted his head. “There isn’t much more you can do to help. You’re doing enough already, honestly.”

You shook your head firmly. “No. You’re important to me, and you’re hurting, so I want to help. Tell me what I can do.”

Sans blushed a little and smiled warmly at you, his eyelights soft and fuzzy at the edges, but the look faded to a lazy smile as quickly as usual. “Alright, fine, since you’re so _determined_ about it." For some reason, that drew a small chuckle from him. "What my friends in Ebbot would do was make sure I was eating and sleeping at normal times and keep me from staying cooped up all day.”

“Okay, that’s not so hard,” you said cautiously.

“It’s not so helpful either,” he shrugged. “Just going through the motions doesn’t make me any happier, unlike spending time with you.”

You huffed and stood up, facing away to hide your blush. You were having a tender and important talk together, and he went and said something like that. “Even at a time like this, you’re flirting with me?”

“I wasn’t, I swear,” he laughed. “I thought we were having a moment or something?”

“We were, and then you ruined it by using your sexy voice.” You folded your arms and still refused to look at him, and Sans laughed louder.

“Babe,” he took a second to breathe, “that’s just my _voice_. It’s not my fault if you like the way it sounds.”

The worst thing was that you didn’t know if he was telling the truth or not. It would be too embarrassing if he was right, though, so you chose to believe that he was intentionally trying to seduce you.

With that temporarily decided, you remembered something that had been in the back of your mind for a while. Finally facing the skeleton again, you said, “If I asked how you talk, would I get a legitimate answer?”

“Are you implying that magic isn’t a legitimate answer?”

You sighed, “I figured.” You took your seat again since it was weird being the only one standing. “But you don’t really use your mouth to talk, right? Can you still talk if someone covers your mouth or while you’re eating?”

“Covering my mouth wouldn’t stop me from saying stuff, but it’s hard to eat and talk at the same time; the magic in my mouth gets all confused. It’d be stupid if I tried to deliberately do something you humans think is rude and literally choked on my words.

You giggled, “That’d be pretty dumb, yeah.”

“Oh yeah, that reminds me. I saw a blonde the other day and said she was pretty dumb. You know what she said to me?”

You frowned, reminding yourself that you _had_ told Sans the dumb blonde stigma was false. “What?”

“She said I shouldn’t call people dumb, but she thanked me for calling her pretty.”

Sans grinned and you realized it was made-up; a joke. You relaxed and laughed. “Hey, not bad.”

“Thanks. There are a lot of jokes I’ve had to catch up on since coming to the surface. I’m sure I’m still behind, but thanks for introducing me to a new format.”

“Well, as long as you know the most common ones: blonde jokes, knock knock jokes, puns, dad jokes, racist jokes, etcetera.”

His eyelights focused as he heard an unfamiliar phrase, “Dad jokes?”

Your face immediately dropped in regret. “No, you didn’t hear that.”

“Lemme look it up.” Sans pulled his phone out, and you cried internally when you saw his eyes literally light up. You were going to have to deal with this now. On a regular basis.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” you groaned.

Sans chuckled and immediately retorted with just the worst jokester’s grin on his teeth, “Hi, so fucking stupid. I’m Sans.”

 

 

You didn’t know what it was with you and feeling shy at the last minute, just before you were about to meet somebody new. You didn’t have this problem with most strangers, so was it only because you wanted the people your friends liked to like you too? Blowing out a breath that promptly fogged in the cold, you pushed that hesitation down and put on a brave face, marching up to the entrance to Sans’s apartment.

Even before opening the door, you could hear enthusiastic chattering from inside. Sans certainly had an energetic little brother. You lifted your arm, knocked, and reached down to turn the knob, expecting Sans to have unlocked it for you like always, but the door pulled open without your touch. You stumbled a little and looked at where Sans’s face would have been, seeing an exposed spinal column instead. Blinking in confusion, your gaze drifted up, catching the bottom edge of a white T-shirt, then the rest of the shirt, a bright red scarf, and up and up until you finally made eye contact with a _very_ tall skeleton. He had to bend down or his face would have been hidden by the top of the door frame! He _must_ have been more than _seven feet tall_.

“You must be (y/n), the human girl my brother is dating!” the giant shouted at you pleasantly. His face was longer and narrower than Sans’s, and his grin wasn’t fused shut, so his jaw actually moved when he talked. However, his eye sockets were so small that you couldn’t see any lights inside of them—not from down here, at least.

“R-right,” you realized you were staring and quickly recovered yourself, holding out a hand. Admittedly, the bright red gloves he was wearing made that gesture a little bit easier for you. “That’s me. You must be Sans’s brother Papyrus. He talks about you a lot.”

Papyrus held his hands up to his face and you had to take back your previous statement because his eye sockets were _sparkling_. He immediately took your hand in both of his and shook it up and down so your whole arm was dragged along. His hands completely enveloped yours and he was _damn strong_. Already, you could see he was very different from the type of skeleton you were (tentatively) used to.

“Oh, human, I am so glad to hear that! But please, come inside! You must be freezing!”

Papyrus essentially dragged you through the front door, slamming it shut behind you. He pinned your arms to your sides and picked you up between his hands, depositing you surprisingly gently onto the couch next to Sans, who smiled and winked at you. Papyrus pulled a second couch (easily, with one hand) so that it was facing opposite yours, and he took his seat.

The couch was definitely too low for someone his height, so his legs bent awkwardly. The things he was wearing on his legs were probably light blue jeans, originally, but he’d apparently cut them off at the knees when they were too short regardless. Not a single thing about this situation seemed to bother the cheerful skeleton, though; he looked as happy as a clam.

“So, human, tell me about yourself! Sans told me a few things already, but I insisted on hearing the rest in person!”

“Oh, um, where should I start?”

“Hm,” he held his chin. His movements were so dynamic and animated that it looked almost comical. “Ah, yes! I know! How about we start from the beginning, at your earliest memory! That way I won’t miss a thing!”

You chuckled. Sans had told you Papyrus didn’t have his sense of humor, but he seemed pretty funny to you. Papyrus tilted his head at you the exact same way a confused puppy would, and Sans interjected.

“We’ll be sitting here for weeks if we do that, Paps. How about you ask some more specific questions?”

The taller skeleton’s face (somehow?) fell in disappointment, and you realized with some shock that he hadn’t been joking.

Papyrus stroked his chin again, muttering (loudly) to himself, “In other words, this is a puzzle where I have to get as much information as I can out of very few questions. Hmm. Nyeh!” With the look of someone who’d just solved a difficult riddle, Papyrus shouted at you, “Human! May I take a look at your soul, please?”

You blinked. Was he just asking first so you would know he wasn’t staring at your boobs? “Uh, sure. Knock yourself out.”

You felt a sudden tug in your chest and something floated out of you. It looked like a bright yellow cartoon heart, shiny and smooth. It was so bright and hypnotizing that the rest of the world around it seemed to have faded into black and white. You weren’t sure what was happening, but you were suddenly very aware of Papyrus sitting across from you and Sans beside you. Even though you felt hypersensitive and tender right then, you still felt safe with the both of them. Very odd indeed.

“Wowie!” Papyrus shouted. “You have a beautiful soul! Thank you for letting me look at it!”

The bright yellow heart—your soul, you realized with some shock—slid back into your chest. That hypersensitivity disappeared and color returned to the world.

You held your forehead dizzily, “What on earth just happened?”

“We call that an encounter,” Sans said. “They’re how monsters spar n’ stuff.”

“They’re good for more than just sparring! I did it this time so I could see what your soul looks like! I also “checked” you to learn about the details therein.” Papyrus explained.

You furrowed your brow and looked at Sans. “But you never had to do that.”

Sans did nothing but shrug, and Papyrus’s eyes sparkled again. “Oh! Was I your first ever encounter, human? I had no idea! How fitting that you should share such a special occasion with the great Papyrus! Nyeh heh heh!”

You suppressed a snort. You’d thought Sans was joking when he told you his little brother referred to himself that way, and that was _quite_ the laugh he had.

“If you’d like, we can do it again! I’ll let you check me this time!”

Hesitant, but curious, you nodded your head. Again, your soul left your body, and it felt like you, Sans, and Papyrus were the only people in the world. You didn’t know how to “check” someone, but before you could ask, it just kind of happened.

 ***Papyrus 8 ATK 2 DEF 680 HP**  
***Is happy to see his brother again.**

The information echoed in your mind, and suddenly the encounter was over again.

“Weird,” you breathed. “What are my stats like?”

“3 ATK, 3 DEF, and 60 HP! Fairly typical for an adult human with a low level of violence.”

You must have looked as disappointed as you felt because Sans started reassuring you, “They’re just base stats, they don’t mean much. HP is pretty reliable, but everything else tends to fluctuate depending on the circumstances.” You gave a small nod and he tipped his head. “If you still feel like your stats are too low, I’ll let you see mine.”

Well, you didn’t know how _that_ would help, but you were curious. Sans pulled your soul out of your body, and it felt even safer and more comfortable than when Papyrus did it. You didn’t know much about magic, but there must be some element of technique and skill to it that Sans obviously had.

 ***Sans 1 ATK 1 DEF 1 HP**  
***Definitely wants to soulbond with you someday.**

Your soul slipped back into your body and you flushed dark red. You’d just wanted to check his stats, but it felt like you’d been fucking proposed to! Your eyes were hot and vision blurry, but you could see Sans blushing too.

“Uh,” your mouth felt dry all of a sudden, “do you have any control over what it says?”

The blue color moved from Sans’s cheekbones to under his eye sockets, making him look ill, and his eyelights shrunk to little pinpricks. “N-no, none. W-why? What did it say?”

Your eyes flickered over to the tall skeleton with his head curiously tilted, and you blushed harder. “Maybe not in front of Papyrus,” you mumbled, and your boyfriend's eyelights vanished completely.

“You two are _so_ obvious,” the younger brother rolled his eye sockets (how??) and groaned.

You coughed to clear your throat and quickly grasped for a new topic.

“So, uh, I don’t know how that was supposed to make me feel better. Now I just feel bad because we both have trash stats.”

Sans took your lifeline and slouched back in his seat. “I know. My stats are garbage, right? But that’s why you shouldn’t feel bad. Even though my stats say I should be weaker than everything besides a damn whimsum, I’m still a boss monster.”

“What’s a,” you tipped your head, “a boss monster? You mean like a boss in a video game?”

Sans looked at you strangely and chuckled, and Papyrus stood up and posed proudly. “I shall educate you, human! Boss monsters are special monsters that are much stronger than others! They are protectors and leaders of our people! Among all of monsterkind, there are currently only seven boss monsters and a handful of mini bosses!”

“A mini boss is someone who’s stronger than ordinary monsters, but not strong enough to be a boss monster,” Sans supplemented. “With hard work, they have the potential to cross that threshold.”

“Sans and I are both boss monsters! Just like Undyne and the former king and queen!”

It sounded like something to be proud of, and you pondered it. “If a monster’s stats don’t indicate who is and isn’t a boss monster, how can you tell?”

“It’s fairly simple,” Papyrus held his hand to his rib cage, and you saw an orange glow faintly shining through his shirt. “Boss monsters have souls strong enough to carry a trait, so they’re colored the way most human souls are. Weaker monsters simply have white souls that don’t represent anything in particular.”

“So, Sans's soul is cyan for patience. What’s orange?”

“Bravery!” Papyrus grinned broadly. He put one hand on his hip and held his chin with the other. “You know, it is an interesting coincidence that your soul trait is justice. You see, Sans is one of the few monsters who—” an alarm went off in the kitchen, and Papyrus’s skeletal face went wild with panic. “My spaghetti!”

He sprinted to the kitchen in a few long strides, and Sans lazily called after him, “The timer means you're on time, Paps, not late.”

“I _know_ that, Sans!” Papyrus’s loud voice carried easily across the apartment. “However, I was not there the _moment_ it rang, and that is irresponsible! What if the pot had started to boil over or...”

You tuned out Papyrus’s monologue (since it seemed like it’d go on awhile), and eyed the shorter skeleton brother, speaking with carefully controlled volume. “What was Papyrus saying earlier?”

“Nothin’ important,” he shrugged, but you didn’t back down.

“I want to know. I’m curious.”

Sans looked up at you and exhaled. “You know by now that it’s much more common for humans to have soul traits than monsters, right?” You nodded. “Well, monsters are better at managing magic, so if there’s one strong enough to have a soul trait, they might just pick up a second one.” Sans was wearing his blue jacket today, and he snuggled deeper into it. “For example, there’s the former king, Asgore. He has the twin soul traits of bravery and patience. You can imagine that was a little hard to deal with. It must be like he’s got this lazy bag o’ bones on one arm and "the great Papyrus" on the other; his Magic’s constantly pulling in two different directions. It’s hard to control, but once you get the hang of it, it can be a big advantage in a fight.”

“So was Papyrus going to say that you’re the same as Asgore? You have twin soul traits?”

Sans closed his eyes. He was already slid down far enough in his seat that you thought he might just fall asleep. “I’m a bit different from Asgore. My second soul trait is justice--”

“Oh! The same as me.” No wonder Papyrus said it was a coincidence that you had a yellow soul.

“Yep. But my soul traits get along a little better, so they’re not fighting each other. They kinda fused together, you could say.”

You tried to wrap your head around it, but you were too new to magic. “Sorry, I’m not sure I’m following.”

“It means my actual soul trait is something like “patient justice”. Unless something bad goes down and I’m pushed to where I really can’t take it anymore, I’m just a patient soul, but once I reach the end of my fuse, the justice comes out. Makes for some pretty neat magic attacks once they’re both in play. Never needed to use ‘em practically though.”

Sans was talking quieter, probably because he was nodding off. You leaned in closer to hear him better.

“You know those bleed effects in some video games? Imagine that, except it does more damage the more evil the person you’re fighting is. Also, they can’t block, and they feel every second of it.”

“Hmm. That sounds awful. I’m glad it’s only for bad people.”

Sans peeked his eye sockets open and blushed slightly, “Uh…” You noticed how close you’d gotten to him. You were leaning over his reclined form, faces just inches apart. Immediately, you blushed and backed off a little. Sans chuckled, “If you were planning on sneaking a kiss, I can close my eyes again.”

Your flush darkened and you quickly shook your head, prompting a slightly sadder chuckle. You weren’t going to do something like that just yet, but… You and Sans were dating now, and you weren’t going to keep running away from these topics.

“Do you really _want_ me to kiss you?” You wondered aloud, “Shouldn’t lips be a weird thing to a skeleton?”

You couldn’t tell if you were prudish, Sans was adventurous, or if maybe he was secretly just as out-of-his-element as you were. With some dissatisfaction, you figured it was probably the first one.

Sans’s smile tightened minutely around the edges. It was one of his hard-to-read expressions, and you frowned. “What does that face mean?”

He flinched a little and spoke quietly, “Means I’m embarrassed and trying not to look like it.” He sighed and pushed with his hands to sit up a little straighter. “You really don’t have to worry about anything like that. Humans are new to me, yeah, but, uh.” His face was quickly turning blue, and he looked away. Whether to hide his blush or because he was too embarrassed to make eye contact, you didn’t know.

“I’ve got no idea how to say this without sounding creepy,” he confessed, and somehow that made the pieces click for you.

And suddenly you were blushing right along with him, maybe even brighter. “So, you have, like,” you tried to swallow; your throat was still dry, so it took a second, “a human kink?”

He put his face in his hands and groaned. “ _That sounds so fucking bad out loud_ ,” he whispered, then managed to lock eyes with you for one sentence. “I _swear_ that’s not the only reason I like you.”

“I believe you,” you said, and you knew that you meant it. “You _told_ me the reasons, remember? And you’ve been really clear about not pushing me into anything. That, uh, that means you want me to stay around for a while, right? Just because I’m me... right?”

“Absolutely! Yes!” He nodded his head with more energy than he usually used for anything, and you stress-laughed.

“If you two lovebirds have had enough time alone to flirt,” Papyrus’s tenor voice reverberated pleasantly from the kitchen, “dinner is on the table! I encourage you both to come and eat my magnificent cooking before it gets cold!”

Sans stood up and shuffled to the kitchen, and you followed close behind.

“We weren’t flirting, Paps,” Sans said with an impressive poker face, considering he’d looked like a blueberry a few seconds ago.

“No?” Papyrus tilted his head and frowned. “You _should_ have. I gave you a whole five minutes!”

“That’s not a long time, Papyrus,” you posed gently.

“Is that so?” He seemed to consider it, beginning to twirl his portion of pasta with his fork. “Well, perhaps not, but accomplishments don’t necessarily get bigger the longer it takes to achieve them. Often it feels nice to achieve something you’ve been working toward for a long time, but sometimes,” he paused to take a bite, “sometimes you build it up too much in your head and then it isn’t really all that great when you finally get there.” He clenched his gloved fist and put on a determined smile, “That’s why I like to accomplish many things in a short timespan! It increases the odds that the experience will be a positive one!”

“Pretty smart, bro,” Sans said from his seat beside you, squirting ketchup all over his spaghetti. You wrinkled your nose a little in disgust. Maybe it was close enough to tomato sauce that it was fine?

You were hit pretty hard in the feels a second ago, but the taste of the food took you out of it. You had to hand it to him, Papyrus made some darn good spaghetti.

“This is delicious, Papyrus,” you said sincerely.

“Why thank you, (y/n)! I have picked up many pasta-cooking techniques since coming to the surface! I didn’t used to think I could make my recipes any better, but the great Papyrus can surpass even himself! Nyeh heh!”

“It oughta be good,” Sans chuckled. “It’s the only meal he’s cooked for ten years straight.”

You nearly dropped your fork. He _had_ to be kidding.

“It is a dish that requires talent and persistence to master!” Papyrus’s boastful voice corroborating Sans’s story shocked you. Had he really made nothing but spaghetti for _ten years_? That was honestly a little insane. “And the great Papyrus is not one to back down from a worthy challenge! Now we really should stop talking and eat. The sleepover starts promptly at seven o’clock, and I refuse to be late! To anything! Ever!”

“Not even a sleepover in your own house?”

Papyrus looked at him flatly, “No, brother. Though this is technically your home and not mine, I still would not be late even if the sleepover were to be held there instead of here!”

“Well, you two have fun with that,” you shrugged, slurping some trailing noodles into your mouth. Papyrus and Sans both looked at you.

“You aren’t staying?” The great Papyrus wrung his gloved hands.

You raised your eyebrows. “I didn’t even know I was invited.”

“‘Course you are,” Sans grinned. “The more the merrier, right? Of course, if you don’t want to stay, we won’t force you. It can be a brothers' thing, right Pap?”

Sans tried to encourage his brother to ease up the pressure, but his face was still obviously heartbroken. “Y… yes. Yes of course. You are free to do whatever you like, human. Even if what you want is to _not_ stay over for a slumber party, I will still accept whatever you decide.”

Between the overly friendly Papyrus, who still did his best to consider your feelings, and Sans who you _knew_ frequently downplayed his feelings for your sake, there was no way in hell you were going to say no. You would have to be completely heartless! Not to mention these two were like a live sitcom and you were sure you’d have a great time if you stayed.

“I’d _love_ to stay for a sleepover. Just let me grab some overnight things from my place once we’re finished eating.”

The looks on their faces were already worth it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Just real quick, here’s what Sans and Papyrus saw when they checked you.)
> 
> Papyrus:  
>  ***(y/n) 3 ATK 3 DEF 60 HP**  
>  ***The nice woman dating your brother.**
> 
> Sans:  
>  ***(y/n) 3 ATK 3 DEF 60 HP**  
>  ***She trusts you.**


	12. Sleep Tight, Don't Let the Skele-Bugs Bite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which you stay for a sleepover with Sans and the great Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are screwed. I did NOT hold back this time. Possibly lethal fluff dosages ahead.
> 
> Seriously, I would not have made it this far this fast without all your lovely comments~ You people are wonderful~

_Toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, hairbrush, shampoo and conditioner, pajamas, fresh clothes,_ you checked over your overnight bag to make sure you weren’t missing anything. _Should I bring my hairdryer or just leave it wet?_ You decided that it was cold enough at Sans’s place that you’d better bring it along. Briefly, you wondered if Sans had enough pillows for three people, considering he lived on his own. _It couldn’t hurt to bring my own. It’s good manners anyway._

Once everything was all packed up, you threw your bag over your shoulder and went back to Sans’s apartment. In the time you’d been gone, the living room had been rearranged into a large blanket fort with couches and chairs for walls. Papyrus was still lovingly adjusting some details while Sans took a nap in a pillow nest in the middle. Your eyes brightened at the promise of childish fun in front of you.

“That’s the best blanket fort I’ve seen in a while.”

Papyrus struck a heroic pose, “Well of course! The great Papyrus doesn’t produce anything less than perfection!”

Sans lifted his head about an inch, “Welcome back, (y/n). You have everything you needed?”

You held up your little duffle bag and nodded. “I’m all ready for a funtastic sleepover.”

Sans chuckled but Papyrus stopped what he was doing to groan. “Please, no puns, human. I won’t let you or Sans ruin this slumber party with bad jokes!”

“Sorry, Papyrus,” you shrugged your bag into a better position. “I’m gonna go change into some pajamas. Mind if I use your bathroom?”

“It’s all yours,” Sans waved.

When you closed the bathroom door, you heard some yelling about how Papyrus was going to change too and how Sans should as well, followed by quick steps and a door shutting across the hall. You shrugged and stripped down to your underwear, pulling on a warm and fluffy two-piece set of pajamas. They were mostly blue, with white cartoon cats printed all over. The shirt was a long-sleeve button-up: perfect for chilly weather.

You left your bag tucked under the sink since the stuff inside was going to see the most use in this room. Out in the main living area, Papyrus and Sans had already finished changing. As far as you could tell, all Sans had done was remove his jacket and put on some pink slippers. Papyrus was proudly showing off a red two-piece with cartoon plates of spaghetti printed all over it. Unlike his day clothes, these were actually long enough to cover him, aside from about a one-inch gap between the pants and button-up. You wondered if the ill-fitting outfit from earlier was just his style. He seemed like a confident and outgoing kind of guy, so you could picture that.

It was unanimously decided that watching a movie was appropriate slumber party activity. You and Papyrus worked together to pick something out while Sans made popcorn. Monsters didn’t have microwave popcorn yet, so he had to cook it with oil in a pot. It took a while, but that was fine; Papyrus wasn’t going to let you get off easily by just agreeing to whatever he wanted to watch. He forced you into a rather thorough debate where you sorted through all the movies Sans had before finally settling on “The most appropriate film for the occasion!”

On the bright side, you'd solved the mystery of Sans’s missing energy: it was all in his brother.

… Was it appropriate to joke about that when the guy had clinical depression? You got the feeling Sans would say anything goes as long as it’s in good fun, but you would wait until you were sure before joking like that out loud.

 

Sans napped through most of the movie, and Papyrus watched the whole thing quietly with rapt attention. You thought he was totally enamored, but he surprised you at the end by complaining about all the plot holes and out-of-character decisions he’d noticed, thoroughly critiquing the experience. He seemed to have a lot of logistical complaints.

“But did you enjoy it?” you asked.

“Oh yes,” he smiled. “It was quite entertaining! The plot held together much better than most of what Mettaton’s been in, and the acting and effects were commendable! I would certainly enjoy watching it again someday!”

“Oh, that’s good. You were complaining so much I was worried you hated it.”

“Complaining? No, no, human. I was merely offering constructive criticism for the movie from a technical standpoint! There is always room for improvement!”

“Paps just cares a lot,” Sans yawned. “He can’t help but put effort into everything he does.”

You hummed in acknowledgement and stretched your arms over your head, putting the empty popcorn bowl in your lap off to the side. Papyrus eagerly collected it and took it to the kitchen to wash, and you began to gather pillows and blankets to make a spot for you to sleep in. Sans peeked one eye socket open at you.

“You don’t need to do that, (y/n). You can have my bed tonight.”

“What? No.” The pillow you’d brought with you was receiving a thorough fluffing in your hands. “I’m not gonna steal your bed from you, Sans.” You tilted your head and examined a corner of the ceiling. “Besides, if you’re going to give the bed out to a guest, Papyrus should have it. He’s the youngest, right?”

“You two are both incorrect!” the skeleton in question called from the kitchen. “Sans’s bed is too small, so I will be sleeping in the living room! Not to be rude, (y/n), but it would be rather inappropriate for the two of us to sleep there alone together.”

“So are we gonna make a bone pile in the middle of the floor?” Sans chuckled.

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, _that_ sounds comfortable. So what’s the plan, Papyrus? You sound like you’ve got it all figured out.”

Hands dry and dishes clean, he strode back into the living room. “Naturally! I will be sleeping in the living room! Sans, you and your girlfriend will sleep in your room!”

“Wait, hold on--!”  
“Paps, I don’t think that’s--!”

You and Sans protested at the same time and unintentionally cut each other off, but Papyrus waved his hand. He wasn’t having any arguments.

“No buts! By your previous statements, neither of you are willing to have the bed alone, and I don’t want to force _everyone_ to sleep on the floor with me! The two of you sharing the bed is the perfect logical solution!” Papyrus was very keen on body language, so the cocky challenge in his grin was obvious even to you. “Or is there some other detail I’ve missed due to which you’re unwilling to share a bed?”

The both of you blushed your respective colors and neither of you spoke. It seemed Sans wasn’t any more willing than you were to admit that you were still put off by the fact that he was just a skeleton. Was your pride worth a very awkward night’s sleep, though?

Sans spoke first, mumbling quietly, “Only if you’re fine with it.”

Well, you couldn’t say no now. Besides, you weren’t going to do anything: it was literally just sleeping next to each other. “That’s… fine. That’s totally fine.” You picked up your pillow and stood, clutching it close to you like a defensive shield. “It’s just sharing a bed, that’s all. I can do that.”

Sans smiled softly, and Papyrus looked between you both with a curious expression.

“I’ll uh, go set this down and get ready for bed,” you said, scurrying off. You threw your pillow into Sans’s room and retreated to the bathroom to pee and brush your teeth before bed. You took the opportunity to splash a little cold water on your face while you were at it since you were still blushing pretty badly.

Sans was awkwardly waiting outside his door when you stepped out into the hallway. Neither of you said anything, and eye contact didn’t last very long either. You sort of just shuffled into his room, and Sans gently latched the door shut.

“Um,” he scratched the back of his skull, “Papyrus can be a little pushy. If you want, I can wait until he falls asleep and move to the couch.”

You sat hesitantly on the edge of the bed and rubbed your toes together. “I said it was fine,” you insisted, though you were starting to feel light-headed from nervous anxiety. Sharing a bed with _anyone_ who one-sidedly wanted to have sex with you was a lot to ask for, spooky skeleton or otherwise, but you weren’t about to make yourself a liar.

You knew Sans could see your soul at all times and he could probably tell that you were forcing yourself, but you hoped the firm look in your eyes would convince him to respect your decision. Of course, Sans had been nothing but respectful the whole time you’d known him, so his long sigh and tired grin were no surprise to you.

“Alright. I’ll sleep on top of the sheet and make sure to stay on my side. That sound good?”

You nodded and Sans climbed onto the far side of the bed. He must have been as light as he looked; the mattress barely dipped. You chewed your lip a moment and crawled under the covers beside him, fluffing your pillow a few more times than necessary. Once you were settled, the light switch glowed blue and flicked off, plunging the room into mellow darkness.

Your heart was definitely beating too fast for you to sleep. Sans was lying _right next_ to you! But--but that wasn’t a problem! He was your boyfriend, and you weren’t going to do anything weird. This was fine. Definitely fine.

The internal pep-talk you were having was making a good difference. Your pulse was calming down, and you weren’t sweating nearly as badly. The faint sound of Sans’s breathing was actually kind of relaxing to listen to if you _let_ yourself relax.

You breathed out through your nose and stared up at the smooth ceiling. Your eyes were adjusting to the darkness, and you could make out little lines where the plaster wasn’t perfectly even in the faint blue light.

_Wait. Blue light?_

You turned your head to the side and saw that something was definitely glowing under the covers on Sans’s side.

“What’s with the nightlight?” you chuckled quietly.

Realizing he’d been discovered, Sans’s cheekbones lit up the same shade of blue. He bunched the covers up over his chest, but it wasn’t enough to hide the light in this darkness.

“Sorry,” he murmured, “I can’t seem to make it go away.”

You rolled onto your side just a little so you could see him better. “That’s your soul glowing, right? Does that mean you’re nervous?” Your smile was shy and hopeful, and Sans chuckled.

“Nervous and a lot of other things,” he confessed. The little white lights in his eyes locked onto you, and the blue light seemed to pulse brighter for a beat. “Uh, now that Papyrus isn’t here, can I ask what it said when you checked me?” He chuckled tensely, “I need to know how big an apology breakfast I need to make.”

“You’re thinking a lot of bad things about me, huh?” you teased him against your better judgement. Nerves were making your lips run, apparently. You could clearly see Sans blushing brighter and getting more nervous, so you spared him. “Alright, I’ll tell you. It, uh,” the heart rate you’d only just gotten steady hiked up again, “it said you “definitely want to soulbond with me someday”?”

Sans’s eyelights shrunk to tiny pinpricks and he started sweating through his skull. You’d never seen him do that before and you honestly hadn’t known he _could_ until now. “Um. Wow. That’s a little earlier than I meant to tell you.”

You blushed and pulled the blanket up to your face. “I don’t know all the details, but soulbonding is something really serious, right? Like, “together until we die” kind of serious.” Your fingers gripped the fabric tighter, “Do you really want that with me?”

Sans took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. You gave him that time and space to collect himself, and he looked back with big, round lights and a peaceful face. “Yeah, someday.”

This situation was honestly really funny. You’d signed up for a blind-dating service to get laid, but now you were lying next to someone who wanted to spend the rest of his life with you--who thought you were worth that kind of commitment. You hadn’t even gotten the sex you were looking for-- you _couldn’t;_ he was a skeleton _\--_ but you’d chosen to stay with him anyway.

Without really thinking about it, you slipped a hand out from under the sheets, holding it out between you. Sans stared at it for a second and slowly clasped his skeletal fingers around it. He was cold as usual, dry and smooth. Your heart beat faster and you carefully pulled his fingers to your lips, planting a small kiss on the back of his metacarpals.

It felt really weird to do that, but you focused on his eyelights that looked so soft and fuzzy and the pretty blue blush on his face. Sans was definitely worth some effort on your part, you decided that firmly. The shyly joyful laugh he let slip easily washed over your discomfort.

“Someday,” you said carefully, “I might like that too.”

 

In the middle of the night. You woke up with Sans pressed up to your back, one skeletal arm thrown over you and gently resting on your stomach. There were several layers of fabric between you two, so you couldn’t feel him clearly for the most part, but his skull pressed into the back of your neck was something you couldn’t ignore.

It was a hard and cool expanse of bone. You could make out the ridges of his teeth and the little protrusion above his nasal hole against your skin. His breaths were slow and shallow, but you could still feel air rushing, making your little hairs stand on end. As much as you wished you could just ignore it and go back to sleep, your body was screaming at you that there was a skull _breathing_ on your neck and you should be _terrified_.

You swore to yourself that you would retrain your body to react differently to the feeling of bones, but that wasn’t something you could do right then and there. You wouldn’t be able to sleep with your heart racing and adrenaline flooding like this--not unless you literally let your body exhaust itself to sleep, and that sounded like a recipe for a terrible morning.

Rolling yourself over, you freed one of your hands and put it against the side of his skull, refusing to let your curious fingers wander and tell your brain what you were touching. _It’s Sans’s face,_ you told yourself sternly. _Nothing else. Just Sans’s face._

Sans made a small murmuring sound in his sleep and leaned into your touch, which honestly warmed your heart a little.

“Sans,” you whispered. He was a light sleeper, and his eye sockets peeked open, dim little lights blinking within the darkness. “Stay on your side,” you smiled tightly.

His eyelights quickly started to focus, and blue light flooded the room. “S-sorry,” he gave a dry chuckle, “Something was warm, so I uh… I didn’t realize it was you.”

He backed off to his side of the bed, and you stretched your limbs out. You were quickly calming down now, and sleep was slipping its way back in. You mumbled an eloquent “Mm” and rolled over, eyes sagging shut...

 

You didn’t know how much more time had passed, but there was light leaking through the gaps in the blinds when you woke up again. A shiver traveled up your spine, and you broke out into a cold sweat. You quickly scooted to put some distance between Sans’s skull and the back of your neck, rolling over and blowing curtly on his face to wake him up. His eye sockets peeked open again, and you gave him a stern frown.

“Again?”

“Hmm?”

He took a second to wake up and realize how close he’d gotten, blushing and quickly backing off. You rubbed the back of your neck to dispel the feeling of breath against it and work a final shiver out of your system. Sans watched you with a guilt-ridden expression.

“Whatever. You were asleep; you couldn’t help it.” You sighed and threw the covers back. It was early, but not so early that going back to sleep felt acceptable, so you stood up and stretched. Sans sat up but stayed tucked under the covers, watching you quietly from his corner of the bed. You looked over your shoulder at him and sat back down on the end of the mattress.

“You’re awful quiet this morning. Are you alright?”

“I, uh,” he looked down at his lap and bunched the blanket in his fists, “I’m sorry. I promised to stay on my side of the bed, but I didn’t, and instead of leaving after the first time, I just fell back asleep and let it happen again. I... don't like breaking promises like that.”

The back of your neck tingled again and you rubbed the feeling away, shaking your head. “I’m not mad at you, Sans. And I think it’s cute that you like to cuddle, I’m just not ready for it yet. I think someday I’ll be grateful for that? Nothing bad happened, and I definitely still trust you not to hurt me. Don’t beat yourself up about it.” You stood up again. “I’m gonna go take a shower and stuff.”

Sans smiled hesitantly, “I’ll make breakfast if Papyrus hasn’t already. Just... give me a minute.”

You shrugged. “No hurry. It’s still pretty early.”

You shuffled into the kitchen and smelled coffee already brewed. Gratefully pouring yourself a cup, you heard a voice call out from the living room.

“Oh, good morning!” Papyrus’s voice was way too loud for this early in the day. He was awake and dressed already, sitting on the couch with the morning newspaper spread open in front of him. Rather than reading the articles, the pen in his hand indicated he was working on the puzzles instead.

“Good morning, Papyrus.”

“So how did you two sleep?” You were too tired to tell if he was being coy or not. “I woke up a few times and I’m up way too early, but I slept alright,” you shrugged. “How about you? Were you alright on the floor?”

“It was not ideal, but I made it work!” he grinned proudly. “I removed all of the seat cushions and assembled an approximated mattress on the floor. A few well-placed sheets did the trick to keep them from sliding around. Shame there weren’t any fitted sheets large enough, but a clever monster makes due!”

You hummed and sipped from your mug. You just needed a few sips to wake up and then you would drink the rest slowly. Once you had a little caffeine in you, you set your mug down and locked yourself in the bathroom. You stripped down, showered, and put on new clothes. There was a wall outlet under the sink where you could plug in your hairdryer. It was annoying keeping your arms up, but the warmth felt nice, so you took your time.

There was knocking at the door and you cracked it open. Sans peered in with a concerned smile.

“Hey. What’s up? You need the bathroom?” you asked.

“No.” His eyelights flickered to your hairdryer and back. “Just wanted to check on that noise and make sure you were okay.”

“Oh. It’s just my hairdryer.” You held it down and stuck your hand in the warm air and Sans mimicked you, tilting his head slightly. “It’s too cold to leave it wet for hours.”

“Ok, well, breakfast is about done.”

“Great! I’ll be out in a minute.”

You finished drying your hair and gave your teeth a quick brush. Breakfast was oatmeal with brown sugar. Sans was asleep at the table next to his bowl and Papyrus was cutting a banana into slices of identical width to add to his. A bottle of magic supplements on the table made you raise an eyebrow.

“Is this human food?” you asked, pulling out your chair.

“Indeed it is, human!” Papyrus nodded and dumped a handful of banana slices on top of his oatmeal.

“Do they not make monster oatmeal... or bananas?”

“Of course they do!” Papyrus rolled his eyes, an exaggerated motion involving his entire head. “But Sans said it wasn’t good for you to eat “empty calories”--whatever that means--for dinner _and_ breakfast, so he got this out instead.” Papyrus smiled, “He can be quite considerate when he tries.”

You smiled too and worked a few spoonfuls of food into yourself. Sans was somehow still asleep despite Papyrus’s yelling, odd since he woke up to your whispering earlier, but you figured he must be used to his brother’s loud voice. Speaking of which, Papyrus made a throat-clearing sound and set his glass of milk down.

“Was I wrong to insist you and Sans sleep together last night?”

You quickly checked that Sans was still sleeping and looked at Papyrus. “Why?”

“Well, I’d assumed that because the two of you were together, you would be happy to have an excuse to sneak away and have fun, but you didn’t seem happy last night. Then, you woke up frightened this morning, and Sans seems like he’s walking on eggshells--not to mention he’s _never_ awake this early, yet he got up to make you breakfast. Perhaps it isn’t my place but... did my brother do something to apologize for?”

You stared down at your oatmeal and shook your head. “He didn’t do anything wrong. We’re just not at that point in our relationship yet, Papyrus. Or, um, _I’m_ not, anyway.”

“I see.” Papyrus tapped his fingertips on the table and lowered his head. “I’m not used to people who… take it slow. I’m sorry if my actions put any undue strain on your emotions.”

“No, it’s fine, Papyrus. Don’t worry about it. I’m actually working on adjusting to things, so this was far from the worst thing you could have done.”

You were able to finish your oatmeal and drink half of your remaining coffee before Papyrus spoke again.

“Hu… (y/n).”

“Yeah?”

“You sound like you _want_ to be at that point in your relationship. Would you care for some advice from a charming skeleton who’s actually been with humans before?”

“Well, I’ll hear you out,” you chuckled.

“I believe you’ll find that many of your misgivings will disappear if the two of you simply _do_ things together. As long as nothing terrible happens, you should feel more secure each time you repeat an act. Eventually, perhaps you can get your mind and body to a point where they agree on how you feel about my brother.”

You winced a little, and you hated yourself for it. “I don’t know, Papyrus. I think I’m more comfortable with taking baby steps.”

“And yet you’ve already expressed impatience to me! I’m not telling you to rush into things brazenly, (y/n), but my brother is never going to push you forward, and I think you should at least know that that’s an option.”

He picked up his empty dishes and reached across the table for yours as well.

“You could always try it once and go back to doing things slowly if it doesn’t work out.”

You watched the lanky skeleton start up the sink and let out a sigh. Sans’s food was going to be cold, so you shook his shoulder lightly to wake him up.

“Sans, wake up. Eat your breakfast and then you can go back to sleep.”

He blinked and looked down at his bowl, scooping some oatmeal and nearly putting it in his mouth before remembering to take a pill first. Eating seemed to help wake him up a bit, which was good because Papyrus had to leave at two o’clock to make it back to Ebbot and still have time to rest before work the next day. He rather wanted his older brother to be awake while he was still around so they could do something together. At that point, you insisted you not intrude on their sibling time and packed up to head home.

Seeing you with your bag packed, standing at the door, Sans’s casual look slipped a little bit. You gave him a reassuring smile.

“You make sure you have fun with Papyrus, alright?”

“M’kay.”

You dragged your bag up over your shoulder and turned the doorknob. “I’ll uh, see you later, Sans.” You ducked your head into your coat, mumbling a short, “I love you.”

Immediately, his eyelights looking up at you brightened as the sockets went round. There was a bright blue dusting above his blissful smile. “I love you too.”


	13. Touch Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which you try to fill the void left by the Great Papyrus and keep Sans company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to do a Sans perspective of the sleepover and morning after, but it just wasn’t happening. Instead, here’s, uh… this!
> 
> Thanks for all the motivation you guys have been giving me. I had _quite_ the struggle getting the muse to cooperate on this one, but it's thanks to you all that I did.

Sans 2:07pm

hey

paps left

 

The sudden message interrupted you in the middle of washing the dishes. You’d meant to do them right after lunch but ended up watching just a _few_ episodes of your latest binge show first. You peeked over at the message and initially wrote it off as him just keeping you in the loop.

 

You 2:07pm

Cool.

 

After a minute, though, you wondered if you were being insensitive. Sans obviously cared about his brother a lot, and you knew he _had_ issues even if you didn’t know the ins and outs of them yet. It couldn’t hurt to check if everything was really just routine, right?

 

You 2:08pm

U lonely?

 

Sans 2:08pm

im fine

 

You 2:08pm

Okay then

 

A few minutes went by where you finished the dishes, and then your phone buzzed on the counter.

 

Sans 2:12pm

i lied. im lonely

its so quiet

 

You tapped your chin for a minute then went to your contacts, copying and pasting some text.

 

You 2:12pm

1111 Green St. Apt 111

 

Sans 2:12pm

whats that

 

You 2:12pm

Come over.

 

He made you wait a long time for a response. You curled up horizontally on the couch, patiently watching your phone screen.

 

Sans 2:14pm

r u serious?

 

You 2:14pm

Yeah

Do you still think I’m mad or something?

 

You 2:15pm

Cause I’m not. Never was

 

Sans 2:16pm

ill be there in a minute

 

Literally a minute later, there was knocking at your door, and you got up to answer it. Sans peered up at you anxiously from the other side.

“Hey, babe,” you winked, drawing a chuckle. You stepped aside to let him in and gently shut the door. Sans walked further in and took a look around.

“Sorry if it’s a little cluttered. I wasn’t planning on having anybody over today.”

“Nah, it’s not, and I’m fine with messes anyway.”

You smiled brightly. “Alright then, make yourself at home.”

Like he had some kind of inborn compass, Sans beelined to your couch and plopped down onto it. “So, tv?” he asked.

You sat down next to him, a little closer than usual, and moved the remote to the little end table on your side. “Actually, I had something else in mind.”

Sans smiled tightly. “Uh, what is it? Video games? Maybe some jokes?”

You leaned closer and he leaned back cautiously. Like this morning, sweat was beading on his skull. It really only made you more determined to continue.

“I want to prove to you that I’m not mad about last night.”

“Uh—”

“I am a little _upset_ , but at myself, not at you.”

“(Y/n), you—”

“I _like_ you, Sans,” you insisted. “I like you a lot, and it’s garbage that my body isn’t responding to you the way I want it to. I _want_ to be attracted to you. Do you get that?”

Sans had apparently lost the ability to speak, and he was turning bluer by the moment.

You leaned forward and planted a small kiss on his skull. Your spine shivered at the feeling, but you ignored it and planted a second one, then a third before pulling back. You clenched your fists in your lap to hide the slight trembling.

“You shouldn’t be the only one working hard to make this relationship work,” you said firmly. “I’m going to try really hard too. So, uh, you’re allowed to touch me. I trust you to know where and when to stop.”

The lights in Sans’s sockets were gone. When they came back, you swore for a second they looked like little hearts. Quietly, Sans took one of your hands and brought it to his teeth, then just held it there for a few seconds. You were too confused to be creeped out, and it showed on your face when he pulled away.

“Uh, you said I could touch you, but should I have asked first?” He chuckled tightly, “What’s that look for?”

“Nothing, just… what were you doing?”

Sans’s face had been returning to white, but it _burned_ blue when you said that. He turned away and quickly discounted it. “Nothing.”

You flashed back to last night when you kissed the back of Sans’s hand, and your eyes went wide. “Oh my god, was that a _kiss_?!”

Sans flinched and peeked at you, then twiddled his thumbs in utter embarrassment. “Um, kind of... maybe… I guess it sucked if you have to ask.” He finally just hid his face behind his hands, not that the thin bones could cover much.

There was a burst of warmth in your chest, and your lips tweaked up outside of your control. You pressed the palm of your hand to Sans’s skull, beside his smile, and felt that the bone was actually warm where he was blushing. Sans sighed and held your hand against his face.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“No,” you didn’t want to laugh at him right now, but you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped, “I think it’s adorable that you tried to kiss me.”

Sans’s quiet chuckle was anything but happy. “Heh, yeah. “Tried”.”

“ _Did_ kiss me,” you quickly corrected yourself. _He doesn’t have lips, you idiot! That was the best he could do!_

Your encouragement didn’t seem to have any effect, but you realized with some surprise that you really hadn’t hated it. Maybe because teeth were already exposed naturally on humans, it didn’t feel that off-putting to have them touching you.

You smiled, hoping for compliments to succeed where encouragement had failed. “I actually didn’t mind it,” you told him, and his eyelights sparkled in surprise before he suspiciously muted them.

“Really?”

“Really,” you grinned. “Why don’t you try it again, just to be sure.”

The lights in his eyes were brighter now, and he wasn’t trying to hide it. Sans pulled your hand off of his cheek and pressed his teeth gently to the back of it. And… yep. It was just teeth: nothing stimulating about it, but nothing disturbing either.

Sans pulled away and peeked up at you for confirmation. When you smiled brightly, his grin went wide. He planted several more quick skeleton kisses on the back of your hand and then held your palm to his cheek, grinning blissfully with his eye sockets closed. You giggled, honestly proud of the both of you--whether pride was a justified response or not. When your shoulders stopped shaking, you thought you felt your hand buzzing, and you did a double take.

Sans was _purring_! Like a cat! You could hear it faintly and you could _definitely_ feel it with your hand against his bones.

Your free hand shot to your mouth and your eyes turned into watery little crescents. “Oh my god,” you whispered, slurring your words together, “that is the cutest fucking thing, holy shit!”

Sans opened his eyes and stopped purring, looking at you with some confusion slipping through his obvious joy. “What?”

“Nonono, don’t stop! Do it again!”

He tilted his head, “Do you mean this?” he asked, letting out another warm, rumbling purr.

“Yes! That!” You felt that if you had magic glowing eyes they would be shaped like stars right about now. “Oh my _god_! Can you do it louder?!”

He blinked and rubbed the back of his skull, blushing. “I mean, if you like it so much, I guess so?” He looked a little shy, but you had a pretty good idea what kind of face you were making, and there was no way Sans could say no to that.

A moment later, you were holding the cheek of a loudly purring skeleton, and your heart was on the verge of exploding.

Again, your words came out in a slurred mess, “My boyfriend can purr like a cat. Holy fuck. That is the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my entire fucking life!”

With all self-restraint evaporating (the way it usually did whenever you saw a dog or cat within petting distance), you rolled onto your knees and hugged Sans’s head against your chest, trying not to twist or squeeze too hard, but definitely squealing to compensate.

The purring stopped due to shock for a second, but it quickly resumed when you started petting the top of his skull. You looked up at the ceiling and lamented, “You can’t be this cute. It has to be illegal.”

Gradually, though, you were remembering yourself, and you released Sans’s head from your bosom. He was bright blue and having trouble making eye contact. Unfortunately, he had to stop purring in order to speak.

“Jeez, uh, I would have done that a long time ago if I knew you’d like it so much.”

You worked your way into a proper sitting position and smiled wistfully. “Cute animal noises are my weakness. I was actually thinking of getting a cat if this whole blind-dating thing didn’t work out.”

“Huh.”

“You like dogs, right? At Chloe’s party, you mentioned you used to have one.”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I prefer low maintenance pets, like a pet rock. I brought a stray dog home one time just ‘cause I wanted to see the look on Papyrus’s face. It was so hilarious that we ended up keeping him. He was pretty smart; didn’t take much training to teach him what bones he could and couldn’t play with.”

You winced. “I can imagine certain dogs being a problem.”

Sans laughed, “Yeah. Papyrus had a bad run-in with a black lab after we came to the surface.” Your eyebrows shot up; he had your full attention. “This lady was walking her dog, and Papyrus asked if he could pet it. She said it was a well-behaved dog, so go ahead. Yeah, uh, not as well trained as she thought. It took Papyrus’s arm and ran off with it.”

You gasped, audibly, and shook your head to clear away a grimace. “I, uh, noticed Papyrus has both arms. So, can skeletons, like, detach their limbs? Safely?”

Sans nodded. “Hurts like hell, but they’ll go back where they should as long as nothing’s broken.” He grinned a little. “Jealous?”

“What?” You put on your most casual face, “Psshhh! Nah. Humans can do that too. Wanna see me pull my thumb off?”

You couldn’t tell, since Sans was naturally white-faced, but his pinprick eyelights made you think he’d have gotten paler if he could. “That sounds kinda disgusting. Won’t you just get blood everywhere? Also, I’m pretty sure humans can’t do that.”

“Well prepare to be surprised,” you teased, performing the thumb-removal sleight-of-hand trick right in front of him.

Sans blinked and narrowed his eye sockets, clearly suspicious. Soon, he figured out the trick, and his eyelights brightened. He barked out a laugh, holding his forehead in amused exasperation.

“That’s so stupid, holy crap.”

You doubled over. “That’s the kind of prank we play on little kids. You just watch their whole world-view crumble: it’s hilarious!”

Honestly, what were you doing breaking down the sincere atmosphere you’d created yourself? The mood wasn’t right at all anymore for touchy-feely experiments, so you relented, picking up the remote.

“Alright, you had the right idea earlier. Let’s watch some tv.”

“We’re taking a break from your skeleton conditioning process?”

You laughed at the ridiculous phrase. “Maybe we multitask. Hold hands while we watch?”

His eyelights softened, “Sure.”

Sans looked much more at ease than he had when he’d arrived, and you thought you’d made the right decision by inviting him over. You chilled on the couch together, made some snacks, and watched family game show reruns. It was nice, but it was getting late and neither of you had had dinner.

“I don’t feel like cooking,” you admitted. “Maybe I order us Chinese or something?”

“I could go for some Chinese,” he agreed. “You call. I’ll swing by my place for a sec to grab my medicine.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and found the number online. While it was ringing, you got to see Sans teleport for the first time. There weren’t any neat visual effects, unfortunately. Just, one second he was sitting on the couch next to you, the next he wasn’t.

About half an hour later, the both of you were laughing over some stupid internet videos while trying not to choke on lo mein noodles. It was just fun and innocent chilling with a friend, and you were reminded how nice it was to still have that even if your relationship with Sans was deeper than just friends now.

Around the time when it would be reasonable for Sans to return home and for you to start getting ready for bed, you turned off the tv and carried the trash and dishes to the kitchen. Sans stood up from the couch and watched you, fidgeting.

“Hey, uh, can I stay over tonight? You don’t have to say yes--I mean, obviously, I’d sleep on the couch, but…” He sighed. “I just really don’t want to be alone tonight.”

You exhaled through your nose and smiled. “You and Papyrus really are close, huh?” Sans nodded. “Of course you can stay the night. As long as it’s not going to cause any problems in the morning when you have to go to work.”

“Nah, it’ll be fine.”

“In that case, be my guest.” You pondered for a moment. “You don't _have_ to sleep on the couch, you know? There's space on my bed.”

The corner of his smile twitched, “I don't trust myself not to cling to you, and you don't like that.”

“That’s why I want to get used to it,” you shrugged.

He shook his head and insisted on sleeping on the couch and you weren’t determined enough to push the issue. Sans was right that you were uncomfortable with being spooned by a skeleton, so it might be wiser to save that for days when you didn’t need a good night’s sleep.

“If you’re sure about it. I’ll go find some extra blankets.”

 

 

Normally, you and Sans didn’t meet up on weekdays, but you were still worried about his emotional state. As far as you could tell, he and his brother had lived together all their lives until about two months ago. This past weekend was the first time they’d seen each other in person since, and then Papyrus was gone again just like that. You were worried it might be a trigger for Sans’s depression and… he said you made him happy, so maybe you could smooth the transition for him.

 

You 5:32pm

Hey, are you off work?

 

Sans 5:32pm

yeah 4 about 30 minutes now

 

You 5:32pm

Are you home?

 

Sans 5:32pm

where else would i b

 

You 5:32pm

I’m outside ^3^

 

An instant after you sent the text, the door to Sans’s apartment swung open. He leaned his head out and stared at your car with a baffled expression. You smiled and waved, and suddenly he was gone again--like, teleported away “gone”. With a furrowed brow, you peered around, trying to spot wherever he’d disappeared to. A knock on the glass right beside you made you jump in your seat.

You shot Sans a wry smile and unbuckled. He stepped back so you could open the car door without hitting him.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, (y/n),” he started, “but what are you doing here?”

“I came to see you,” you said brightly, taking both of his cool hands in yours. You leaned down and planted a little kiss on his forehead, which quickly turned him blue. “Only meeting on weekends is a little silly when we live so close, and I need to keep up with my touch therapy.” You smiled softly. “If you’re busy with something, I can leave.”

He chuckled and pulled one of your hands up to plant a little skeleton kiss on it. “Nah, I was just being a lazybones. Have you eaten yet?”

“Dinner? No, not yet.”

“Perfect,” he winked. “I happen to have everything I need to make burgers.”

God, how long had it been since you’d had one of Sans’s burgers? Your mouth watered at just the thought. “I literally can’t say no to that.”

As you walked to Sans’s apartment, you convinced him to at _least_ let you help with the prep work. You curiously noted that there were two different packages of ground beef in the fridge.

“Oh. One’s monster food and the other’s human food,” Sans said.

The fact that he was keeping human food in his kitchen now touched your heartstrings. It was something small that kinda made this feel real.

While you got out ingredients and set the table, Sans cooked one human burger and one monster burger, carefully keeping track of which was which as he added ingredients and seasonings. You chatted back and forth playfully during the whole process.

At last, Sans plated both burgers and went to rinse the pans for later. You took the plates and put them on the table, then froze.

Sans had been keeping track, but you hadn’t.

“Uh, shit.”

“What’s up?”

You looked over your shoulder helplessly. “Which one is which?”

Sans’s eyelights dilated and he stared at the recently relocated plates. “Uh… Do you remember which one was on the left?”

“This one, I think?” you pointed.

“Then that one should be mine,” he said uncertainly. You nodded and slid the plates in front of each of your seats. Sans chuckled and sat at his place, staring nervously at the delicious-looking burger sitting within arm’s reach. “You try yours first, just to be sure.”

You nodded and picked up your burger, taking a big first bite. “It’s just as delicious as I remember,” you smiled and Sans smiled back. You chewed a few more times, then swallowed. “Delicious, but monster food.”

The poor misplaced burger ended up back on its plate, and you slid it over to Sans with an apologetic look. “Sorry. Hope you’re not germaphobic.”

Sans shrugged and picked the monster burger up, taking a big bite out of it around where your teeth marks were. “Monster and human diseases are noncommunicable, so not particularly. Definitely not with you.”

Damn Sans and his sexy voice. Your throat was feeling tight, but you forced a mouthful of food down it, following it with a generous sip of water. You were starting to believe that he really wasn’t intentionally making his voice deeper to flirt with you; he was just being sincere with his naturally deep voice, and you happened to _like_ it.

Were you the only one who was reading into his words too much?

You stayed for dinner, some more pleasant conversation and good jokes, and a few hours of time-wasting television, but you didn't stay the night. Everything you needed to get ready for work was still at home, and you didn't feel like getting up even earlier in the morning. You would see him again tomorrow, and you assured him of that as you were leaving, trading "I love you"s at the door.


	14. Halloween and Hugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which Halloween and hugs. XP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I read and love all of your comments! Thank you all so much!)

That week, you ended up going to Sans’s house every day except friday. It was out of obligation, at first: to make sure he was doing okay after parting with his brother, but before you realized it, you were just going because you wanted to see him. On Friday, though, you intended to spend your time with Chloe. It had been your designated girls’ day for a while, after all.

You definitely didn’t miss him at all; that was why your conversation consisted of you recounting everything you two had done together over the past week.

Thankfully, Chloe seemed to simply be happy for you.

“So you and Sans are making real progress, huh?” Chloe wiggled her eyebrows and popped a sucker between her lips.

This week, you were bonding by making Halloween decorations by hand. Naturally, both of you were pilfering the candy bowl as you worked.

You smiled sheepishly while you drew a cute face onto a little tissue ghost. “I’m comfortable with holding hands now, and I’m getting there with chaste kisses, but it really is a slow process.” The tip of the sharpie marker tore the tissue and you clicked your tongue, moving on to the next ghost. “What comes after the head and hands anyway? Wrists and shoulders?”

“How about neck and hips?” she teased, getting a ghost thrown in her face for her efforts.

“Sorry, babe.” She grinned and pulled her sucker out, listing off some typical contact spots for new couples on her fingers. “There’s linking arms; the arm around the shoulder; leaning on his shoulder. There’s hugging, obviously, but I know you’re going for minimal contact still.” In went the sucker. “Yeah, I guess the arms and shoulders have it.”

“Alright, I’ll start trying those. Hey, hand me that string.”

You were affixing the tissue ghosts to lines of thread for later hanging, and Chloe was making great progress with cutting out little paper pumpkins. Your place was the only one getting decorated this year; it was closer to where kids trick-or-treated than Chloe’s. She would be hanging out here with you to give out candy.

As Chloe took a break from cutting out pumpkins to draw faces on them, she sighed and rolled her neck.

“Babe, I know this is girls’ night, but we’ve still got a lot of work ahead of us, and you’ve clearly got your boo on your mind. I won’t disown you if you invite an extra pair of skeletal hands over to help.”

You blushed and focused on the knot you were tying. She’d already seen right through you, so there was no point in keeping up pretenses. Chloe _hated_ lies more than anything.

“He’s, uh, got work until five,” you said, glancing down at your phone screen, “but I’ll tell him to meet us here once he gets off.”

“Perfect,” she clapped. “We’ll have some exclusive you-and-me time before then. Netflix put out some new shit and I _need_ to see it with you.”

“That new horror show? It _is_ the season for it.”

You shot Sans a text and turned on the TV, trying not to sneak too much candy while you slowly chipped away at the decorations.

 

***

 

Sans’s cell phone buzzed in his pocket, and his coworker glared at him, pushing his thick glasses up on his nose. Sans shrugged at him, grinning like always.

“ _My_ calculations are done,” the man spat. “Do I have to do yours too, or can we actually start the simulation?”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist. I finished a while ago.” Sans kicked his chair back on two legs, and Austin suspiciously examined his monitor. He snorted and gave a curt nod.

“Fine. I’ll start it then.”

Austin was the guy Sans was partnered with for most of his projects, so they spent a lot of time together. He was a bit of an odd character, as amusing as he was sarcastic, so Sans couldn’t be mad no matter how annoying his voice was. The dude would fit right in on an episode of The Office. Also notable, the guy didn’t give a flying fuck if Sans was a skeleton or even a temmie, as long as he knew his math. He was usually only obstinate because he hated Sans’s lazy work ethic.

Typing a few commands, Austin started the simulation, and now they had very little to do for the next hour or so. The man scratched his stubbly chin and peered at his coworker.

“Your phone really should be off during work.”

Sans ignored his scolding and fished for his phone in his jacket pockets. “Oh yeah. I wonder who texted me.”

His smile widened automatically when he saw your name on the screen. That made Austin curious, even if he hated to be.

“Who is it? Your brother?”

“Nah, it’s my girlfriend,” he said, quickly typing out a response. “She’s inviting me to help decorate her place for Halloween.”

Austin clicked his tongue audibly. “How the hell do you have a girlfriend and I don’t? You’re as big a fucking nerd as I am. Damn ugly, too.”

Sans chuckled. “You’re jealous.”

“Oh I’m _so_ jealous,” sarcasm dripped from his voice. “I just _love_ women with low standards.”

Sans laughed again and put his phone away. “Maybe work on that personality of yours and actually go out looking for a girlfriend, instead of staying in playing League of Legends all weekend. Trust me, if there was a way to have a relationship without putting in any effort, I would have found it.”

He managed to get a snort out of the sarcastic geek, a surprisingly pleasant one considering how annoying his voice usually sounded.

“Whatever.” He shifted in his seat and frowned. “So, unless I’ve misunderstood something about skeleton monster anatomy, how the hell were you planning on sleeping with her?”

“In a bed, probably.”

Austin rolled his eyes aggressively. “You _know_ what I meant.”

Sans pulled his phone out again and started messing around on the internet. “Yeah, but that really isn’t any of your business. Hey, check out this meme.”

Sans held his phone screen facing Austin, but the geek scoffed and turned away. “Do some fucking work, Jesus.”

And just like that, Sans was back to happily slacking off while his coworker paid him no mind. That was the other thing he liked about Austin: he was easy once you got a read on him.

All of his focus was now on seeing you after work. Had you already started decorating? Were you wearing a costume, or was it too soon for that? What had you eaten for lunch?

He just had to wait out two more hours and he could teleport right over to see your beautiful face.

 

***

 

At 5:03, there was a knock at your door.

“That must be Sans,” you said, pausing the TV. You went to open the door and found exactly who you were expecting.

“Hey! Glad you could make it,” you smiled.

Sans grinned up at you and drummed his fingers on his femur. You rarely noticed him doing that anymore.

“You should feel honored,” he said, moving to take a step inside. “You and Papyrus are the only people who’ve ever gotten me to help decorate anything.”

“This is a ladies zone,” Chloe called out. “You can’t come in until you tell me a joke.”

Sans paused his feet and you rolled your eyes. You were about to tell him he didn’t have to, but a wicked smile was already blooming on his skull.

“How do you blind a Chinese man?”

“How?” Chloe grinned.

“Put a windshield in front of him.”

Chloe rolled onto her side and laughed, waving in the air. “Okay, okay! You can come in, funnybones.”

Sans looked around at the decorations you had already made and the little piles of crafting supplies left. He noted that the color schemes of the two didn’t match. “So, what are we making here?”

“The plan is to thoroughly decorate the front door and the entryway, since that’s all people will see,” you started, “We’ve already finished all the ghosts and jack-o-lanterns, and now we’re making bats out of paper and fake spiders out of pipe cleaners and packing tissue. If you’ll help Chloe with those, I’ll start hanging up what we already have.”

“No pumpkin carving?” he teased.

“I didn’t feel like making that big of a mess in my kitchen.”

You went outside to start decorating the front door, hanging up strings of little ghosts and pumpkins. Stepping back to admire your work, you folded your arms. There were a few bald patches that could still use something. You went back inside to find Sans grinning and Chloe clutching her sides, laughing. They looked like they were goofing off pretty hard, but a reasonable mound of decorations had popped up. You took up an armful and brought them out front.

Sans’s spiders were kinda smooshy and lopsided, but they were cute, and that was all you asked. Chloe’s bats were cut out with neat precision, and you suspected she may have layered more than one piece of paper at a time to make them all so identical. That wasn’t a problem, obviously; they looked great, and your front door was looking more in the Halloween spirit by the minute.

You headed back inside to string up completed spiders and bats and periodically took them to the front to hang. All the while, your two favorite people entertained you with a battle of jokes that inflicted nearly debilitating laughter at some points. You couldn’t express how happy it made you that Sans and Chloe got along and were willing to share you. You felt blessed to have them in your life. 

In another hour and a half, the three of you had done just about all you could to spruce the place up for the Holiday. Chloe had already called in for a pizza since nobody wanted to cook after so much decorating. You were surprised to learn that Sans had stashed a bottle of his pills at your place last weekend, saving him the trouble of teleporting.

“What if I hadn’t invited you over again?”

He chuckled hesitantly, “That would have been a tough pill to swallow.”

“Oh my fucking god, Sans!” Chloe had just gotten over laughing about how the short skelly had to use telekinesis to open the kitchen cabinet and reach the magical supplements stashed inside, and she was already breaking down over something else.

“Anyway,” you mumbled through a bite of cheese pizza, “Do you want to hand out candy with Chloe and me on Sunday?”

His smile loosened. “Sure, sounds like fun. I’m obligated by species to prank literally every human who comes to our door.”

Chloe perked up, “Dude, are you gonna pretend to be a Halloween prop?”

He grinned, “It’s _so_ easy. I just have to not move for a few minutes. The looks on their faces when they figure it out are hilarious.”

You tilted your head slightly. You’d figured being mistaken for an inanimate object would upset Sans, but maybe it was different if he was intentionally pranking people. Or maybe he just didn’t like being _treated_ like a thing, while being mistaken for one for a brief moment wasn’t so bad.

“Well, do what makes it fun for you, I guess. There might be little kids, so be careful not to scare them.”

“I’ll go easy on the jump scares.”

The conversation ran away from there, and soon you were all sharing your earliest Halloween memories.

“My dad took me to a house with zombie arms sticking out of the yard and I was too scared to go ring the doorbell,” Chloe said. “I started crying, and that was the end of it for that year. I think I was five?”

“Let me think.” You held your knees up to your chest. “It’s kinda vague, but I think my earliest Halloween memory was when I was three? I remember being dressed up as a pumpkin. The costume was so round I could barely walk.”

Your older brother had been tasked with pulling a little red wagon along so you could sit in it after you got tired. There were some pictures of it in a family photo album somewhere.

“My earliest Halloween memory, huh?” Sans traced the ceiling with his eyelights. “It wasn’t really that long ago. The first year we came up to the surface, before I knew what Halloween _was_ , some racist assholes called me a “walking Halloween decoration” and Papyrus told them off.”

“That’s a sucky first memory,” Chloe grimaced, but Sans grinned.

“No, wait, it gets better. On the spot, he used his phone to look up Halloween decorations and found some pictures. And you know how the skeletons are always naked for some reason?”

You were starting to figure out where this was going.

“Papyrus saw that and jumped to a lot of conclusions. I did too, honestly. Anyway, Paps started scolding them about “slandering people,” “exhibitionism,” and “hired sex,” and telling them all about the proper ways to get “attention.” And you know how he doesn’t really control his volume well. So by the end of this, people who just tuned into the conversation probably thought those guys were hitting on us and getting rejected. Their faces were _awful_.”

“I am _so sad_ I didn't get to meet your brother. He sounds like a fucking riot,” Chloe gasped.

“He’s the coolest,” you and Sans said in unison.

 

Two days later, it was Halloween. Chloe had arrived dressed as a witch, which made you wonder if maybe you should have gotten a costume too. In the end, you dug out a cat-ears headband and a clip-on tail from some previous year and put those on.

Sans arrived with just himself in black athletic shorts and a white T-shirt. You caught Chloe staring at bones she hadn’t seen exposed before and elbowed her. She recovered and elbowed you back, smirking mischievously, and you rolled your eyes.

Your monster boyfriend had brought monster candy with him in a big plastic bowl, which you thought was super cute.

“Well don’t you look purrfect?” He chuckled.

“What about me?”

You watched as the pun-maker in Sans’s head turned.

“If you need me to spell it out, you look enchanting, but there might be broom for improvement.”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh my god a broomstick! I’ll be right back. (Y/n), I’m gonna borrow your broom.”

“It’s in the closet,” you called after her.

There was some waiting around before the kids started to appear, guided by parents and older siblings. All three of you had a bowl in your arms, and the kids were allowed one piece from each. Naturally, the children ran to you and Chloe first, then started sneaking toward Sans.

He was leaned against the wall, keeping mostly still, and he’d extinguished the lights in his eyes so you couldn’t tell where he was looking. When a couple kids came close enough, he brought the lights back and looked directly at them.

“Boo,” he said lazily.

The kids squealed cutely and scurried behind their parents’ legs.

“Say hi to the nice skeleton, kids,” one mom prompted, and Sans got a couple of shy waves.

“Heya,” he grinned. “I’ve got special monster candy here if you’re brave enough to come get it.”

At the promise of candy, the kids came forward, the same way they always did. They got their candy, said thanks, and left smiling. You were pretty sure most of the parents left thinking Sans was a human in an elaborate costume, but that didn’t really matter. You were still happy to see that people weren’t giving him the cold shoulder for once.

 

One young kid got a little too curious and wrapped his pudgy fingers around Sans’s radius. “Careful, kid, that tickles,” Sans winked, and the child’s dad freaked out, grabbing his son and picking him up.

“Don’t grab people, Jonny,” he scolded. “You might mess up his costume.”

“He’s real dad!” The kid stage-whispered, cupping his little hands around his mouth to no effect.

At that, the dad paused and peered down at Sans’s wrist in realization. He apparently couldn’t think of a costume that would permit a kid to shove their fingers through the middle of a human’s arm while said limb remained functional.

Sans chuckled and winked at the kid, who buried his face in his dad’s shoulder. “‘Course I’m real, kid. But don’t worry; real monsters are friendly.” He fished a monster candy out of his bowl and held it out. “Anyway, here. A special magic candy just for you.”

The kid took the monster candy and said a quiet “thank you, mister skeleton,” and his dad smiled nervously.

“Uh, thanks, man. Happy Halloween.”

He left in a hurry, but at least his son was smiling.

“You’re pretty good with kids, huh Sans?” you noted.

He smiled at the little human shadows moving down the street in the quickly expanding darkness. “You think so? I feel like there’s still hope in this world as long as the kids are still smiling. I used to live for Papyrus’s smile.”

That was unexpectedly sincere, and you felt a pang of guilt in your chest at the wistful smile on his face. Humans and monsters couldn’t have kids together.

A woman around your mom’s age brought two little kids to your door. You recognized her as the receptionist at your workplace and snapped out of your brooding, giving her a friendly wave.

“Hey, Liz.”

Liz smiled and pushed her kids off to get some candy from Chloe. “Hi, (y/n).” She nodded at Sans leaning on the wall and smiled at you, “Lovely decorations this year, dear.”

The second-hand embarrassment you felt for her was real. She was the first person so far to fall for Sans’s prank _out loud_. Sans chuckled at her expense, but the woman only wore an impressed smile.

 _Oh god, she hasn’t realized it yet._ “That’s uh, that’s actually my boyfriend. His name’s Sans.”

For a brief instant, you could tell the woman thought you were some sort of pervert who thought she was “dating” a skeleton sex doll, but Sans cleared things up by walking forward and offering his hand. “Nice to meet you, Liz.”

“Oh!” The woman held her chest and laughed. “My, you got me. That’s an excellent costume, dear.” You watched her pupils shrink in realization when she made the clasp and immediately released it, her eyes shooting down to look at his hand and back up at his face.

“I know right?” He winked, “Especially considering I’m not wearing one.”

Her mouth did a funny fish-like gasping thing, and she somehow found her voice again. “Oh. You’re… really a skeleton.”

“In the flesh,” he grinned.

“I’m sorry for being so rude.”

“It’s fine. I’m in a good mood tonight, and you’ve got cute kids.”

Sans nodded at her kids who were cheerfully showing off their candy haul to Chloe, who made a point of sounding very impressed with them.

“They’re my grandchildren, actually,” Liz smiled fondly. “Actually,” she frowned and looked at you beseechingly, “I had no idea you knew any monsters. Do you think you two could help me out a little?”

You raised your eyebrows. “With what?”

“Well,” she chewed her lower lip, “I’ve told you how my daughter is, right?”

You grimaced harder than you had in well over a month. “Linda? Yeah, but she doesn’t have custody over the kids anymore, right?”

“No, they’re in my care now, but she fed them some nasty lies before that. I’ve tried to correct them, but maybe meeting an actual monster would help it sink in better?”

From the way Sans’s eyelights focused, you could tell he was wise to what was going on. He quickly put a casual smile on his face. “So basically, I just have to give ‘em some candy and tell a few jokes, right?”

Liz smiled thankfully. “That would be wonderful, Sans. Also, I don’t know much about magic, but if it isn’t a bother, could you show them some?”

You looked at your coworker in mild confusion, and Sans shrugged. “Sure, no big deal.”

Her smile brightened. “Hey, Joseph, Mary, come over here for a minute. These two have candy for you too.”

The kids trotted over and eagerly took a piece each from your bowl, carefully picking out their favorites. The girl reached directly for Sans’s bowl next, but the boy grabbed her costume sleeve and stopped her. He frowned up at Sans who grinned lazily back.

“Mister, are you wearing a costume?”

“Nope,” he drawled. “I’m a bone-afide monster.”

“Mom says we’re not supposed to talk to monsters and that they’re evil and eat kids.”

Liz sighed and the girl tugged on her brother’s sleeve. “But I want a candy,” she whispered. “And grandma said we could!”

The boy just kept frowning and staring at Sans, who kept smiling back.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, kid. Only pretend monsters are bad. Real monsters have souls made of love, compassion, and hope, and bodies made of magic.” He winked, “There isn’t a single evil bone in my body.”

“Mom says your magic comes from the devil.”

“Joseph!” Liz exclaimed, making the boy wince. Sans simply laughed.

“Magic’s a part of nature, kid; humans just aren’t good at noticing it. It’s like how dogs can smell better than humans can. Watch, see?” Two of the candies in Sans’s bowl lit up with a blue glow and lifted into the air, hovering in front of the two children. They gasped and watched in awe.

“That’s a kind of blue magic. Skeleton monsters use blue magic all the time to keep our joints together and and help us lift heavy things. Otherwise it’d be hard without muscles, right?” He winked again.

This little children’s lesson was bridging into things even you didn’t know about magic, so you were eagerly listening along with the kids.

“These candies are made of magic too; magic you can eat. It’s mostly colorless magic with some green magic mixed in. Green magic will heal you if your soul is hurting. You can’t tell me that sounds evil?”

The boy shook his head. Honestly, he’d looked pretty convinced for a while now, and he clearly wanted some push to just snatch the monster candy out of the air.

“Go ahead. It’s yours if you can take it.”

The kids eagerly snatched their candies and the girl directly ate hers, giggling at the slightly tingly feeling inside her mouth.

“What do you say, kids?” Liz prompted.

“Thank you,” they chimed.

She smiled and looked gratefully at Sans. “Thank you for explaining all that to them, Sans. I learned a lot too.”

“It’s no problem,” he shrugged. “If you want to know more, you can look this stuff up online. Monsters in general are pretty active on the internet.

“I’m not sure which information I find online is reliable, though.”

“If you’re not sure, check who the author is. Anything by Dr. Alphys or Dr. W.D. Gaster should be accurate and easy to understand, and anything peer-reviewed or written by monsters is worth a glance.”

“Hang on a sec,” Chloe butted into the conversation for the first time since it started. “I’ve heard the name W.D. Gaster before when I was looking up stuff about monsters. Wasn’t there some controversy about his work because nobody knows where it came from?”

Sans wore one of his unreadable expressions. “I’d rather not get into that right now, but the contents of the works are valid, even if the identity of the author is in question.”

Chloe shrugged and you tabbed the topic as something to come back to later.

 

Liz said goodbye and left with her two grandkids. It was past seven, so the little kids were done trick-or-treating. The foot traffic was going to take a nosedive for the rest of the night.

Chloe announced that she was going to head home to take care of some household chores, leaving Sans and you alone to deal with any late trick-or-treaters. It was a slow but fun night without any major happenings. You did end up giving out all your candy and turning the lights off early, though. Inside your apartment, you and Sans shared a look along the lines of “mission accomplished.”

In a moment of inspiration, you took off your cat ears and slipped them onto Sans’s skull. He looked up, as if he could see them while they were on top of his head, then looked back at you with laughter in his eyes. He let out a low, rumbling purr that immediately made you feel warm.

Your hands twitched at your sides. He was so cute and you wanted to hug him, but a  hug was a lot of contact that you didn’t think you were ready for.

Sans stopped purring and tilted his head, watching you chew your lip and trying to decipher what you were suddenly so nervous about.

“What’s up, babe?”

“Mn,” you mumbled unintelligibly with your lower lip still between your teeth. You rubbed one of your arms with the other hand, shifting your weight to one side and then another. “Could you maybe hold still for a minute? I,” you took a breath; your heart was pounding faster now that you were saying it out loud, “I want to try hugging you.”

His eyelights got brighter. “Sure. I won’t move a muscle.”

His voice was sincere despite the joke he threw in at the end. It made you chuckle, and you loosened up just a little. Cautiously, you shuffled closer, spread your arms out, and put them around him. You weren’t touching at all yet, just sort of… hovering a few inches from his bones.

You weren’t sure where to put your hands. You allowed one palm to experimentally press the back of his ribs, keeping safely away from his spine. However, Sans was thin and it didn’t feel like a proper hug with your arms retracted so much.

You allowed yourself to reach _around_ his back more, forearms crossing his spine and the dull protrusions running down it. That wasn’t quite right either. You didn’t like the way the blunted spines poked at your soft inner arms.

You uncrossed your arms and brought your hands up to his scapulas, stroking one of the smooth plates with one curious finger before settling on the spot on his ribs right below them. Now with your arms and hands settled, you pressed your bodies closer until your ribs were in contact.

It was a very soft, gentle hug, almost like you were afraid you would break him. True to his word, Sans kept perfectly still and waited for you to figure things out at your own pace. This, like Sans’s kisses, didn’t feel so bad, actually. It was just like hugging a super skinny person. You could press your fingers between his ribs to break that illusion, but you didn’t intend to.

Once you seemed settled, Sans started purring again, and you could feel it gently rumbling through you at your contact points. Some of the extreme tension left your limbs, and you nuzzled your cheek against the top of his head.

You stayed like that for what felt like several minutes, then you planted a kiss on the top of his skull and whispered, “Okay. You can move now.”

Considering he still had your arms wrapped around him, there weren’t many things that permission could mean but to hug you back. He slowly lifted his hands and placed his cold, thin phalanges on your lower back. That was a little too low for bones to be exploring just yet, and you flinched without meaning to. Sans immediately pulled his hands back and looked up at you.

“Sorry!” he said.

You bit your lip and smiled tensely. You knew he didn’t do it on purpose. His hands just naturally fell there because he was shorter than you.

“No, it’s fine. Just, uh, not so low, okay?”

He nodded and tried again, this time putting his hands midway up your ribs. He tried to mimic your posture, with his arms horizontal and elbows bent up at a nearly ninety degree angle. Surprisingly, it was the feeling of his humerus bones against your sides that bothered you the most. Every time you breathed, you could feel them and you were forcefully reminded that it wasn’t a human that was holding you.

Sans sighed in contentment and rested his forehead against your shoulder, purring loudly into your cautious embrace. The words “he’s happy,” swarmed your mind over and over and flooded out a large portion of your anxiety. The mantra swelled inside of you and made you proud.

“I love you, Sans,” you whispered, heart warm.

He pointed little heart-shaped eyelights up at you and purred louder. “I love you too, (y/n). So much.”

You looked at how comfortably he cuddled into your shoulder and smiled tenderly. All of your thoughts were on Sans now, and there was no room for anything but love and affection.

“If you press your head to my chest, you can hear my heartbeat,” you told him.

He peered up at you curiously and tried it. After a while of him not moving, saying anything, or even purring, you began to feel a little nervous again.

“Sans? You okay?”

“I’m fine,” he mumbled. “Can we just… stay like this for a while?”

“Sure,” you bent your head down to kiss his skull. “Sure we can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The brother’s coming in the next chapter or two, so I’m calling the vote. It was overwhelmingly in favor of the brother being pro-monster.


	15. Skele Gets A Hug (mini)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Mini chapter of Sans POV during their first hug.

For no discernible reason, you took off your cat ears and slipped them onto his skull.

 _Am I a cat?_  he thought in amusement.  _Ok._

He purred for you to play the part, and because he knew you liked it. Sans knew he didn’t have much physically to offer you, but at least he had his voice: one thing you thought was attractive about him. 

Your hands twitched at your sides and you chewed on your bottom lip. You were definitely working something over in your head, but he couldn’t figure out what.

“What’s up, babe?”

“Mn,” you mumbled something that wasn’t words and rubbed your arm, shifting your weight from one side and to the other. “Could you maybe hold still for a minute? I,” you took a breath.  “I want to try hugging you.”

Stars he loved this touch therapy thing you’d come up with.

His eyelights got brighter, and he spoke sincerely. “Sure. I won’t move a muscle.”

You chuckled at his joke and loosened up a little. Carefully, you moved closer to him and spread your arms out, wrapping them around him without touching anything yet. Sans kept perfectly still for you and tried to keep his soul from racing.

One of your hands experimentally touched the back of his ribs. It was pleasantly warm, but you retracted it before he could try to feel your pulse. You tried a different position, one that wrapped your arms around him more. You were _so_ warm and soft, and he loved the feeling of your arms crossing his spine. It felt protected and safe.

You weren’t satisfied with that position either, though, so you uncrossed your arms and tried again. This time, you pressed your soft forearms vertically against his ribs. You ran one warm finger down his scapula. It felt nice, and he had to restrain himself from cuddling against you and purring for more. He kept still.

You settled your hands below his scapulas and finally pressed your body against his. This was easily the most comfortable he’d been all year. You were so warm and soft, and you were holding him so carefully, like something important. He could feel your blood pumping under your skin, and your soul was so close to his. He purred out of pure bliss, and your hold relaxed and became even softer. You even nuzzled the top of his head. Could he just stay like this forever?

Sans lost track of time, but he woke up when you planted a kiss on the top of his skull.

“Okay. You can move now,” you whispered.

That meant to hug you back, right? There wasn’t anything else he could do while you were holding him. His soul pulsed a bit faster, and he delicately put his hands on your back. You flinched and he immediately pulled his hands back, eyelights darting up to your face, worried he’d hurt you somehow.

“Sorry!” he said.

You bit your lip and smiled tensely. 

“No, it’s fine. Just, uh, not so low, okay?”

He nodded and tried again, this time putting his hands midway up your ribs. He tried to mimic the posture you had chosen with him, figuring it would be safe.

The reality started to sink in that he was holding you and you were holding him back. Words couldn’t describe the joyful ease that settled into his soul.

Sans sighed in contentment and rested his forehead against your shoulder, purring loudly into your gentle embrace. He felt your soul glowing brighter next to his, and it was _fucking_ _perfect_.

“I love you, Sans,” you whispered.

He pointed little heart-shaped eyelights up at you and purred louder. “I love you too, (y/n). So much.”

He cuddled into your shoulder more and was content to stay there until the day he dusted, but you proposed something else.

“If you press your head to my chest, you can hear my heartbeat.”

He peered up at you curiously, doubting how it would be any different from feeling your pulse. He did it, though, pressing the side of his skull against your chest and listening. He was stunned.

Compared to your pulse, your heartbeat was so loud, but at the same time it was so quiet that he couldn’t hear it until he was listening to your chest. The rhythm was steady and almost supernaturally soothing, and he just wanted to stay there listening to it and synching his soul pulse with it. He hadn’t noticed how quiet he’d gotten until you called out to him.

“Sans? You okay?”

“I’m fine,” he mumbled. “Can we just… stay like this for a while?”

“Sure,” you bent your head down to kiss his skull. “Sure we can.”


	16. The Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which someone special, some backstory, and some angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s angst in this chapter, guys. I've warned you twice now.

It was fairly obvious whenever something passed through the void. The presence of any _something_ would send a ripple through the endless nothingness. A pathetic being dwelled in this place, stretched thin across so many realities that practically nothing of him was left in any one place or time. The void was the only place quiet enough to not swallow what little of him was left united.

There was little to do here, so the creature made a hobby out of investigating disturbances in the void. His form was inconsistent, and he had limited power to move, but space was something malleable in the void, and he had learned to use that to his advantage. It was an art form, and a fairly complicated one, but he could manage it with relatively little strain on his soupy body.

There was a sharp ping and a loud ripple, and the creature knew that something had passed through the void again. He went to examine any leftover evidence and found something stark white resting on the endless black floor. He became excited. Many things passed through the void, but a few did so consistently. One would leave him letters.

The creature did his best to collect his goopy black body into an upright position. He reached a bone-white hand down for the page and smiled fondly at the sloppy handwriting. This one was longer than usual.

 

#1817

hey dad,

i hope you’re getting these. try and find some way to let me know if you are, yeah?

anyway, i met someone, and we’re dating now. i like her a lot. she’s a human, so it’s a little complicated sometimes, but we’re working on it. (in case you missed one of my letters, monsters have been free from the underground for six years now. we're at peace with the humans.)

i want you to meet her. i want you to meet _papyrus._ he’s growing up so fast it’s insane. he’s already an adult and living on his own. i told him about you, but i’m sure he’d like to have actual memories of you.

i would too.

i’ve been talking with Alphys, and i think we might be able to work something out. she had this runaway DT experiment that ended up fusing a bunch of monsters and souls into one body. maybe with some adjustments it could get you back in one piece? i convinced her to pick the experiment up again on paper, so i’ll get back to you on how that turns out.

sans

 

Gaster hugged the note to his body and it sank into him. He had every page kept safely there. They were his treasures. Everyone may have forgotten about him out there in the multiverse, but the fact that some people were trying to remember gave him the willpower to persevere.

 

***

 

You had questions for sans. A week ago, on Halloween, the topic of some mystery man called Dr. W.D. Gaster came up briefly, and he’d seemed reluctant to talk about it. Naturally, you marked the topic as something to bring up another time.

Well, in the interim, you’d ended up looking up the name.

Most of the gossip online was pointless speculation on the nature of this monster author who didn’t exist. Since less official sources weren’t getting you anywhere, you decided to look up one of the documents supposedly written by him. Almost immediately, you were forced to rethink how you were approaching this topic.

Every peer-reviewed article, thesis, and dissertation you found authored by W.D. Gaster was tagged with a translator: Sans apparently translated all of his works to English from something called "Wingdings".

You looked it up. Wingdings was apparently an ancient monster language that had spoken, written, and gesture-based forms. When you dug deeper, you found custom typefaces and keyboards made to support it, as well as an online lexicon and translation program. They were jointly credited to Sans and someone named Dr. Alphys. Another familiar name.

The next time you and Sans were alone, you waited until it wouldn’t sound too pushy and brought up the topic.

“So I tried looking up that Gaster guy,” you started. “It looks like you translated a lot of his works from that Wingdings language.”

He turned away from the vacuum commercial on the TV and stared at you in surprise. “Uh… yeah. What about it?”

Playing dumb, huh? That was a little unexpected if you were honest.

“You also seem to be the only monster alive who understands Wingdings. You wrote the only online lexicon for it and worked with some Dr. Alphys to program a translation service.” Sans looked noticeably tense, and you eased off a bit. “Is it private?”

He rubbed the back of his head. “It just sounds a little too crazy. I kinda got used to just not talking about it.”

“Did you know the guy?”

Sans seemed to roll the words around in his mouth for a bit before deciding to open up.

“He was my dad. Probably.”

Sans never mentioned his parents. In all of his family stories, Papyrus was the only other person around, so you’d sort of assumed they were orphaned early on. That or they weren’t on good terms. The idea of some mystery man who may or may not exist being their dad had you instantly hooked.

“What do you mean _probably_?”

“I don’t have any memories of him, so I can’t be completely sure.”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and you knew you were in for a long story.

“Paps is too young, but I can remember our mother. She was an ordinary monster, and Paps and I both had a high magic capacity. Having both of us drained more magic than her soul could spare. She fell down when we were still little.” You winced internally, recognizing the monster euphemism for death. “Unlike mom, I can’t remember anything about our dad, but I have old drawings and diary pages that talk about having one. They were stuff I wrote as a little kid, so they don’t really mention much. He was always smiling in the pictures I drew, so we probably got along.”

He took a slow breath.

“Most of what I know, I pieced together from a variety of clues. For example, my kid diary says I had a scientist for a dad that I can’t remember, and there are scientific documents written by some guy _nobody_ remembers. I’m the only one who can read what they say, but I don’t remember how I learned Wingdings.”

You tilted your head, “It sounds like he taught you? And then everybody just forgot about him?” How could something make so much sense and still be so puzzling?

“Right. Every memory of Gaster is gone, but all the physical evidence is still there. Machines built, documents written, skills taught. Someone was definitely there, and then erased.”

“How is that possible?”

“I started translating his notes because I wanted to find out. I thought there might be some clues inside.”

“And?” You leaned closer in anticipation.

“He had done some interesting research on alternate universes, timelines, resets, and the power to affect them. You’ve heard of the Core?”

Hell yes, you had heard of the core! Humanity would be trying to replicate that thing for at least a generation. If you hadn’t been so intimidated, you might have transferred jobs to work on it yourself.

“Well, it wasn’t originally built to power the underground. It was to power the machines Gaster was working on, and monsters used it for electricity and magic purification as a convenience along the way. All that stuff put a small burden on the thing compared to the other reality-breaking machines it was fueling. So, if I had to guess, something went wrong with one of those machines and he was,” Sans sighed, “ _removed_ from our reality.”

“That’s some sci-fi level shit right there,” you gasped in awe. It was a little hard to buy, but amazing if it was true. “So, he died then?”

“I don’t think so.”

You had been tuning out the TV until now, but you muted it here. This was more interesting than _anything_ that could possibly be airing.

“I’ve got some theories, but they have a lot to do with how monsters are born. Do you know about that?”

“Only what you told me before,” you admitted. It hadn’t seemed relevant enough to you to look up additional information.

“Alright, well, did you know that the monster parent with more magic will always carry the child?” You nodded. “A lot of development happens in that stage. It’s why boss monsters usually have boss monster kids, and normal monsters usually don’t. Most likely, our dad carried us, and he was probably a boss himself.

“Next, uh, monster kids grow up by taking in magic from their parents’ souls. That stage involves both parents, but the burden is split fairly based on how much magic each of them has. It's an essential process for development, meaning that orphaned monsters stay kids forever unless they find a foster parent. Our dad probably disappeared right before mom died. It was probably the main reason she did. I mean, one normal monster trying to raise two future bosses? That’s too much.”

He took out one hand to rub the back of his head.

“I ended up fostering Papyrus. It made me mature faster than he did, mentally and physically, so I could take care of him. Thankfully, I had the bigger magic pool, so it was feasible, but it wasn’t good for me being constantly drained all the time. It’s why my HP is so low.” He shrugged. “Paps was worth it, though.”

You furrowed your forehead in mild confusion. “If it was so bad for you, why didn’t you find an adult to foster you both?”

“You can’t just pick up a monster kid and form a soul link,” Sans explained casually. “You have to really want to take care of them, and they have to trust you enough to accept. Paps and I just didn’t have anyone we were that close to who had enough magic to foster us.”

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, but they were mostly happy tears. Sans was such a selfless big brother. No wonder he was so good with kids.

You frowned, coming back to the topic at hand, “Sorry, I know I derailed you, but what does this have to do with your dad still being alive?”

“You mentioned Dr. Alphys earlier. In case you didn’t know, she was the royal scientist of the underground, but she was still just an intern back then. We knew each other—probably through dad, but I don’t remember the details—and she insisted that if I was gonna foster Paps I should be regularly tested to make sure I didn’t just fall down one day. I mean, my HP wouldn't go above one, so I get where she was coming from. Well, when she tested me, we found signs of a really tiny soul link still hanging around.”

“With your dad?” You leaned forward, sensing a climax.

“The data was corrupted, but I don’t know who else would have a soul link with me. I mean, how many temporally dispersed beings can I be affiliated with?”

“So he’s, like, hanging out somewhere between realities?”

“I’ve been using some of his old machines trying to find him, but the data all gets corrupted,” Sans shrugged. “The worst corruptions come from when I scan the void in the middle of teleporting through it. I’d guess the biggest piece of him is stuck there. There’s a tiny piece in this timeline that I’m still connected to. I’ve no idea how many others.”

“Any chance I can look at those machines?” The engineer in you buzzed with excitement.

“Sure, sometime. Alphys is hanging on to the bigger ones in her lab (we’re kinda partners in this weird conspiracy), but I can show you the few I kept.” He looked at you in pleasant surprise. “You actually believe all this?”

You raised your eyebrows. “I mean, yes? The way you presented it, it sounded like the most reasonable conclusion. And I know you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“Thanks,” he smiled. “I drop notes in the void sometimes. If he’s getting any of them, he knows about you.”

“Oh, shit,” you pretended to be worried. “We’re introducing each other to our parents already?”

“Nah, there’s no hurry. I’d like to get him back in one piece and in this reality so that'd be possible, but it’s easier said than done.”

You smiled softly. “Hey, I’ve got an idea.” You leaned closer to Sans and held your phone up for a selfie, took a reasonably good picture, and texted it to Sans. “You can print that off and drop it in the void for him.”

He smiled genuinely, “That’s a good idea. I’ll do that sometime.”

 

*** Two Weeks Later ***

 

You woke up with a headache after going to sleep stressed, dried tear tracks making your cheeks itch. Rolling over, you remembered the previous night and covered your face in shame. You honestly hated yourself and wished you could somehow reset yesterday so it never happened.

It had started as just another Saturday chilling with Sans and doing your usual touch therapy. You had been doing _so well_ with that lately. It might have made you a little overconfident.

“Hey, Sans, hypothetically, if I was ready for it, you’d want to sleep with me, right?” you asked the question as casually as it _could_ be asked, but he flushed all the same.

Sans gave a tiny nod, tucking his chin into the neck of his sweater. “Of course I would—but I can wait.”

“Well, what if it wasn’t just hypothetical?” you smirked.

His eye sockets went wider than you’d ever seen them, and his eyelights shrunk to tiny, heart-shaped pinpricks. He spoke slowly, as if he didn’t trust his own voice. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” you smiled confidently and joked, “let’s try some “advanced” touch therapy.”

And then you and Sans had moved to your bedroom, where you were lying in only your underwear, waiting for him to undress. He asked you if you were sure about this enough times that it was getting annoying, and you confidently answered yes every time. So, finally, Sans started to undress himself.

You got to see his bared rib cage for the first time.

It really was just that: a rib cage made of smooth, pale bones, with nothing inside. You could literally see through him to the wall behind. It was disconcerting.

He took his shorts off, and he wasn’t wearing anything under them, either. Some distant part of you rationalized that that was fine since skeleton monsters didn’t have genitalia. The rest of you was now struggling with the reality that Sans was naked and there was _nothing but bones_. You knew that would be the case--you’d expected it--but seeing it still shook you.

Sans looked back up at you, and you saw his expression grow darker. You immediately knew in guilty horror that he’d seen your soul and knew what you were feeling.

“I knew this was a bad idea,” he said, reaching to pick his clothes up off the floor.

But your soul _burned_ with justice. You couldn’t stand to keep wronging him like this, over and over again. For two months he’d been patiently waiting for you, always gentle and tolerant even when you _knew_ he wanted you! He was such a great guy, and he deserved to get to be with you if he wanted to.

Hell, you wanted it too! That was the truth, and you firmly told yourself so.

“No! No, don’t get dressed! I’m fine, Sans! I want to keep going!” You wanted to fix this. You had to. But it was up to Sans. Realizing your helplessness made your eyes start to sting. “Please don’t stop.”

Sans held his clothes in front of him and took a very long, thorough look at your soul. You felt like a bit of a mess inside, but you _did_ want to do this, and you hoped that was what he saw. With some clear hesitation, he put the clothes back on the floor and asked one last time.

“Are you _sure_ , (y/n)?”

“Yes.”

So he relented. He climbed up onto your bed and hovered over you and decided to start by leaning in for a lipless kiss on the cheek.

And, for one terrifying instant, all you saw was a skeleton advancing on you; you didn’t see Sans. Your fear-struck mind simply didn’t correlate the monster gently propping your chip up with its cold phalanges to the Sans you had grown to love so dearly. And, at that moment, you screamed, you flinched back, and you cried.

And then the rational part of your brain caught up, just in time for you to recognize the soul-shattering pain on what was no longer “a skull,” but “Sans’s face.”

He backed off of you and rolled off the bed, grabbing his clothes off the floor. His eye sockets were completely black, and every organ in your body twisted in regret.

“Sans wait,” you choked, but he teleported away without a word.

You had curled up and cried yourself to sleep after that, feeling like the scum of the earth, and certainly the worst girlfriend to ever live.

He had every right to hate you for being so stupid, but you knew he wouldn’t. The thing that made you hurt the worst was knowing that he was going to blame himself for this, somehow. He would say he should have known better, turned you down, continued being patient--because he was _supposed_ to be good at being patient. And then he would somehow convince himself that it was natural that you’d be afraid of him.

But it wasn’t! Your brain chemicals were mixed up and stupid! You loved Sans--you had absolutely no reason to be afraid of him! It _wasn’t_ natural! And rushing things like this had been _your_ stupid decision that you’d forced on him with everything you had! All of this was your fault, but Sans was the one suffering for it, and That. Wasn’t. Fair!

Feeling like the most pathetic, helpless worm, you dragged your phone off the bedside table and shot off a pitiful text.

 

You 9:35am

I’m sorry. T~T <3

Please come over? I want to talk about it.

 

Sans 9:35am

no

 

His response was mercifully quick but ruthless, and you felt like something inside you was breaking and something important was spilling out faster than you could catch it. Death: that’s what it felt like. It felt like you were dying; your heart ripped out of your chest and torn into little pieces.

But your phone buzzed again a heartbeat later.

 

Sans 9:35pm

you come over. i made breakfast.

 

You’d never been so relieved in your life; never been happy enough to wail out loud like you did then.

You threw on some clothes without even checking if they matched or were on straight, and sprinted to your car without even running a brush through your hair. The only self-restraint you still held on to compelled you not to speed and die in a car crash before you could apologize in person.

When you ran into Sans’s apartment, he was in the kitchen with his back turned to you, taking two plates of bacon and scrambled eggs out of a little red box on the counter.

“Magic food doesn’t go bad, and hot fridges keep food warm. They make a pretty convenient combination, huh?” He set the food on the table, chuckling, “I made these, like, three hours ago.”

You just stood in the kitchen entrance, hands shaking at your sides and tears already starting to roll down your cheeks again.

“Sans, I’m so--”

“Yeah, uh,” he cut you off. “I don’t really wanna hear that right now. Just sit down and eat something, and we can talk about it after.”

You had no idea how he could sound and look so casual. If the dark blue shadows under his eye sockets were any indication, his night hadn’t been any better than yours.

He pulled his chair out, sat down, and grinned while he waited for you to do the same. Reluctantly, you did so. You brought your fork to your mouth. The food was delicious; it made you want to cry again, but you somehow held it back.

You ate in silence, and soon both your plates were empty. You folded your hands in your lap and started choking out another apology.

“Sans, I’m so sorry--”

“I told you that’s not what I want to hear,” he leaned his chin on his hand. “We're both blaming ourselves, because that's just what we _do_ , but neither of us needs to apologize for what happened. Okay?”

You gasped out a sob, cupping your hand over your mouth to try and keep quiet, and Sans sighed.

“I do want to talk through it, though,” he said quietly. That pained look from last night was back in his eyes, even though he clearly tried to hide it. “What… happened?”

“I don’t know,” you lamented. “Something went… _wrong_ in my head and suddenly… you weren’t you?”

The grin on his face was not a happy one.

“What the hell does _that_ mean?”

“I don’t know! I just—for an instant, I didn’t recognize you! You were just… a skeleton I didn’t know, crawling in my bed with me.” You ran your fingers through your hair and tugged at a knot. “I was doing so well, Sans! I was sure I wasn’t afraid anymore! And, I’m not afraid of _you_ , but at that moment I wasn’t seeing _you_ , and I was terrified.”

The little bit of irritation Sans had let show was quickly turning into something else that pulled his smile flat.

“That… actually sounds familiar,” he muttered, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Hang on a second.”

His phalanges danced across the keys while you watched in confusion, and finally, he held the device out to you.

“Read that, will you? Tell me if it sounds right.”

Skeptically, you looked down and saw a Wikipedia page opened up.

 

 **Compartmentalization** is a subconscious psychological defense mechanism used to avoid cognitive dissonance, or the mental discomfort and anxiety caused by a person's having conflicting values, cognitions, emotions, beliefs, etc. within themselves.  
  
Compartmentalization allows these conflicting ideas to co-exist by inhibiting direct or explicit acknowledgement and interaction between separate compartmentalized self-states.

 

You furrowed your brows unwillingly. “I… No. That’s not right,” you said, handing him his phone back.

“No? ‘Cause it sounds like an understandable reaction to dating someone you’re afraid of.”

“I’m _not_ afraid of you, Sans.”

“But you’re afraid of skeleton monsters?” You winced. “I _am_ a skeleton monster, you know?”

You hunched your shoulders and stared down into your lap, mumbling quietly. “You’re you, Sans.” And Papyrus was Papyrus, and there was nothing scary about either of them. They were just people, _nice_ people, just like you.

“I _am_ me,” he smiled, reaching his hand across the table. You took it and he grinned knowingly, squeezing your fingers and holding both your hands up at eye level. “And I’m also a skeleton monster.”

You looked at his phalanges and his skeletal face and your expression crumpled into guilt. You _knew_ what he was telling you. You _hated_ that you had to be told. Why couldn’t you just make that reconciliation on your own?

_Why am I such a damn monsterphobe ?!_

Fuck, you were crying again.

“Whoa, hey,” Sans released your hand and drew back a bit. He was sweating, but he forced a chuckle, “Why’d you turn the waterworks back on?”

“Because I love you,” you sobbed pathetically.

He stiffened, then visibly relaxed, a much warmer laugh passing his teeth. “I love you too, (y/n). It’s nothing to cry about, is it?”

You shook your head. “It shouldn’t be possible for me to love you this much and still be afraid.” You forcefully wiped some tears away and looked up with bloodshot eyes. “What am I supposed to do about it?”

He shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “The touch therapy was a good idea. We can probably just keep doing that. As long as you know you still have a problem, I think you’ll keep improving. And we won’t rush into things you aren’t ready for again.”

You let your mouth hang open. “You want to go _even slower_? You can’t be serious, Sans!”

He looked at you strangely. “Uh… I don’t see what other option there is? I hadn’t even kissed you yet, and you screamed in my face.” You winced, and Sans’s eyelights dilated. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean for that to sound accusatory.”

“I think you have a right to be angry,” you said softly, staring down at your lap again, “... and hurt.”

He put his chin on his hand and half-closed his eye sockets. “Well, you have a right to be scared.”

“ _Sans_ ,” you put on a stubborn face.

He smirked. “What? Are you gonna say people don’t have the right to feel feelings?”

“I know how you meant that,” you glared. He just shrugged back.

You took a deep breath and sighed. You felt that you would be working hard to fix the wounds you’d caused for a while yet. But you _would_ fix them. That wasn’t a question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I have been wanting to write that failed sex attempt scene since chapter 1!
> 
> Fear not! Reader and Sans are both willing to put the work in to bounce back from this.


	17. Papyrus Knows Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which Sans feels bad, and reader gets some much-needed advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ll return to your regularly un-sheduled fluff after this message! :>
> 
> I seriously love all your comments :D  
> Even when you’re commenting on how I ruined the fluff you all loved so much. :Du
> 
>  **Edit:** Hey, look! An art!  
> [I Just Wanna Cuddle The Smol Bean](https://addicted-to-the-fic.tumblr.com/post/183048463609/i-just-want-cuddle-the-smol-bean-this-is-is-more) by Addicted-to-the-fic  
> 

It was a normal evening the two of you were having. You were just sitting on the couch together, letting the TV provide background noise while you practiced holding Sans’s hand or hugging him. He hadn’t known just how much of a cuddler he was before meeting you, but it really was comforting being held. On the increasingly more common occasions where he held you back and your soul didn’t twitch, he felt like he didn’t need anything more in his life to be happy.

Not a lot of people or things could make him feel joy like that.

And then you asked him to have sex with you. It was a real shock, and some part of him knew it was too soon for you, but he couldn’t just say no. See, the thing was, he really really wanted you to be ready like you said you were. He wanted it badly enough to be dragged along into the bedroom.

You stripped most of your clothes off—not everything, but enough to make his soul throb and his magic grow heated. And then you were on the bed, practically begging him to join you. Sans’s attempts at resisting quickly grew more feeble.

He gave in and took his clothes off, dumping them carelessly at his feet. He was swimming too deeply in lovestruck anticipation to feel very self-conscious. The fact that you’d never seen him exposed like this wasn’t even a factor in his thick skull. If anything, he was worrying more about what came _after_ undressing.

Sans looked up later than he should have, perhaps. He saw your expression; the way your soul was dimmer than usual and pulsing erratically, and his expression immediately grew dark.

You, uh, didn’t feel the same way looking at him as he did looking at you. That should have been a given, but he’d let himself pretend otherwise for a fleeting moment.

He… didn’t want you to look at him like that, and he reached down to pick his clothes back up and cover himself somewhat.

“I knew this was a bad idea,” he murmured.

You immediately tried to convince him otherwise; insisted that you wanted him. He felt like he should reject you, but he really wanted you to be telling the truth. He searched your soul _hard_ for something to convince him to stop, but there was enough genuine desire shining there that it swallowed his better judgement.

Slowly, he put the clothes back on the floor and asked one last time, “Are you _sure_ , (y/n)?”

“Yes.”

So he relented. He climbed up onto your bed and hovered over you. Stars, you were beautiful in so many ways. He _wanted_ this, but he knew better than to rush. Your soul was obviously still a little jumbled, and he was pretty nervous himself, so he decided it would be best to ease you both into this.

He would start with just an innocent kiss: be as gentle with you as he possibly could. He tenderly tipped your chin up and moved his teeth closer to your cheek.

Before he could seal the kiss, your soul flinched, and you screamed.

Sans’s soul nearly jumped out of his rib cage! He thought you were somehow hurt—maybe _he_ had hurt you without realizing it?—and he was momentarily terrified. But… that wasn’t it. It wasn’t a scream of pain, and the way you winced and cried wasn’t like a person in pain either. You were just… afraid… of him.

He… he knew that already, but _fuck_ did it hurt. Like his soul was breaking.

You didn’t wear that look for long; your face shifted into shocked guilt at record speeds. There was an apology on your lips, but he didn’t wait around to hear it. He needed to be alone and away from you. So he grabbed his clothes off the floor and teleported back to his apartment.

Sans almost made it to his bed, but he lost the willpower to move before that. His legs gave out under him, and just his head and arms managed to meet the mattress. He already regretted running away, but going back sounded like it would make his soul hurt even worse, so he just released a few pathetic sobs into his sheets.

With the last of his energy, Sans dragged off the top blanket and curled up into it, lacking the motivation he would have needed to actually climb into bed. Even still, he didn’t sleep on the floor. He just lied there and quietly shed a few tears.

How could he have let you talk him into that? Just because you said you were ready, didn’t make it true. You had a bad track record of putting yourself into uncomfortable situations because of your overactive sense of obligation to others. He _knew_ that and he should have acted with that knowledge in mind! Stupid!

Sure, he hadn’t stopped considering your feelings in favor of his own, but he hadn’t focused on them enough. He could have done better—should have done better!

Stars, he never wanted you to look at him like that ever again.

Sans was immobilized by unhealthy thoughts on the floor for hours. He never did manage to sleep. It was only because he was worried about how you were doing that he managed to get up and shower to wash the tear tracks off his face. He got dressed and decided to cook an apology (reconciliation?) breakfast without even checking what time it was. Seeing how early it still was startled him, and he put the food in his mini hot fridge for later.

He moped for a few more hours on the couch, too lethargic to even turn the TV on. He lost track of time, and you reached out first.

 

You 9:35am

I’m sorry. T~T <3

Please come over? I want to talk about it.

 

He stared at your text and was momentarily horrified at the thought of returning to the place where such a nasty memory and just been born. His fingers typed without his consent.

 

Sans 9:35am

no

 

Realizing his mistake, he quickly typed a follow-up message.

 

Sans 9:35pm

you come over. i made breakfast.

 

You looked pretty rough when you turned up. Your hair was messy, your eyes were red and puffy, and you were dressed worse than him on a depression-fueled day. You had probably been torturing yourself all night the same as him.

Was it bad that that made him feel just a little bit better? Not because you were hurting, but because you cared about hurting him.

Sans’s mood may have still been in the gutters, but he was reasonably good at cheering up other people. A nice breakfast and some consequence-free chatter was a good place to start.

“Magic food doesn’t go bad, and hot fridges keep food warm. They make a pretty convenient combination, huh?” He set the food on the table, chuckling, “I made these, like, three hours ago.”

You tried to apologize, but he quickly cut you off.

“Just sit down and eat something, and we can talk about it after.”

You both needed some food in you after last night, or no conversation you could have could possibly go anywhere good.

Of course, as soon as your plate was empty, you tried to apologize again. Again, Sans cut you off. You both thought what happened was your own fault, so naturally neither of you would be happy to get an apology. It was better to just move past it. You seemed mostly relieved when he said so, but the guilt was still there.

Rather than an apology, there was something he desperately needed to know. Even thinking about it all night wasn’t enough for him to figure it out on his own.

“What… happened?”

“I don’t know,” you lamented. “Something went… _wrong_ in my head and suddenly… you weren’t you?”

But the explanation you tried to give for your behavior didn’t make sense either. He found that somehow offensive.

“What the hell does _that_ mean?”

You grew defensive, running your fingers through your messy hair. “I don’t know! I just—for an instant, I didn’t recognize you! You were just… a skeleton I didn’t know, crawling in my bed with me. I was doing so well, Sans! I was sure I wasn’t afraid anymore! And, I’m not afraid of _you_ , but at that moment I wasn’t seeing _you_ , and I was terrified.”

At your description, a memory from one therapy session flashed through his mind. His slightly angry grin faded to curiosity.

“That… actually sounds familiar,” he muttered, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Hang on a second.”

His phalanges danced across the keys in fixated concentration, and finally he held the device out to you.

“Read that, will you? Tell me if it sounds right.”

It was an article on compartmentalization, which you responded to in denial. You refused to admit to having any negative feelings for him, even if they were just subconscious ones.

Fortunately, you weren’t a very stubborn person when it came to denying your own failures. He didn’t need to do much prodding to make you look past the defensive shell you’d built.

Unfortunately, he made you cry doing it.

“Whoa, hey,” Sans released your hand and drew back a bit. His soul found the sight of you crying deeply troubling, but he forced out a chuckle, “Why’d you turn the waterworks back on?”

“Because I love you,” you sobbed.

Music to his ears. Sans felt a warm laugh pass his teeth. “I love you too, (y/n). It’s nothing to cry about, is it?” They didn’t look like happy tears to him.

You shook your head. “It shouldn’t be possible for me to love you this much and still be afraid.” You forcefully wiped some tears away and looked up with bloodshot eyes. “What am I supposed to do about it?”

Sans was glad to be having a productive conversation about this. The touch therapy had helped you make a lot of progress before last night, so he thought you should continue it. But he would be more careful about letting you rush into things. As in, you were never doing that shit again.

When he expressed that, you let your mouth hang open. “You want to go _even slower_? You can’t be serious!”

What, like you didn’t need a break after something so stressful? He was glad that you were still eager to work on your issues, but slowing down wasn’t _just_ for your sake. Sans didn’t think he could stand to have you look at him the way you did last night a second time.

He knew he was letting his negativity show at this point. His therapist told him there was nothing wrong with that; that people couldn’t help him if they didn’t know he was hurting, but nobody liked a negative nancy.

You sighed and ran your hands down your face, then asked to be excused to use the restroom. You stayed in there for a while. When you came out, your face had been washed, the tear tracks were gone, and your hair wasn’t such a mess. You stood at the entrance to the kitchen, arms folded, looking determined.

“Alright. For today, let’s just chill like last night didn’t happen.”

That was a wonderful idea. Sans followed you to the living room and plopped down on the couch beside you.

“Have you seen that new Netflix series yet?” you asked, picking up the remote.

Sans tilted his head in thought. “Is that that horror show people on the internet keep talking about lately? I don’t like horror, remember?”

“Oh yeah.” You started scrolling through and found a movie with the stupidest premise either of you had ever seen.

“We need to watch it,” Sans grinned, already laughing.

“It’s gonna suck,” you smirked. “Look at the rating.”

“Pfft! I know!”

You settled down to watch a crappy movie together. Halfway through, you wrapped your arm around Sans’s shoulders, and he leaned his head against your arm, and it was like last night really hadn’t happened. Sans was more than happy to not talk about the incident again until it was considerably farther behind you both.

Or, just, never.

 

***

 

You returned late from Sans’s apartment. Not obscenely late, just, you had work in the morning. You didn’t think you could sleep just yet, though, as unwilling as you were to put the incident from last night out of your mind.

Getting comfortable on the couch, you pulled your phone out of your pocket. You’d never reached out to this particular number after putting it in your contacts, but recent events had forced your hand. You needed advice from someone with experience.

 

You 9:24pm

Hey. Can we talk?

 

Papyrus 9:25pm

OH, (Y/N). YES, OF COURSE!

 

You 9:25pm

Papyrus, your caps lock is on.

 

Papyrus 9:25pm

I AM AWARE.

SHALL I CALL YOU NOW, OR ARE YOU BUSY AT THE MOMENT?

 

You 9:25pm

Now would be good

 

You answered the phone and a boisterous voice came through the other end. You held the phone a bit away from your ear and turned the volume down.

 

“Why hello, (y/n)! It has been some time since we last talked! How have you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been fine, Paps. Sorry for not calling you sooner.”

“A minor failing at worst! To what does the Great Papyrus owe this call?”

You chewed your lower lip. “I need advice, Paps.”

“Dating advice?” Boy, did he hit the nail on the head.

“Yeah,” you murmured.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, (y/n)! Several of my partners had _no_ _idea_ what they were doing. It will not be my first time having this discussion.”

“It’s a little complicated actually, Paps.” With a heart full of shame, you detailed everything that had happened that night, doing your absolute best not to break into tears again. “Were any of your partners ever scared, Papyrus? How did you ease them into it? Please, I really hurt Sans, and he deserves so much better.”

There was a stretch of silence, and then a drawn-out sigh. Papyrus’s voice on the other end of the line was a little quieter when he spoke up again. “I’m going to overlook the issue where you, a human with a genuine fear of skeletons, has chosen to pursue a sexual relationship with my brother, who is, in fact, a skeleton. If you truly wish to continue your relationship, (y/n), I’m going to give you some advice that you aren’t going to like.”

You prepared yourself for the worst: for Papyrus to tell you to break up with his brother for both your sakes. You prepared yourself to be beaten down verbally by a caring brother in righteous anger. “Yeah?”

“You know that little voice in your head that tells you to be a good person?” Papyrus asked flatly. “Stop listening to it.”

“W-what?!” It wasn’t the advice you’d been expecting, and it sounded terrible to you.

“(Y/n), I can tell you love my brother very much, but you are spending too much energy worrying about what _he_ wants. You really should consider more what _you_ want.”

“Papyrus, I really don’t see how that’s going to help things at all! Relationships don’t work when people aren’t considerate of each other's needs!”

“I don’t mean it like _that_ ,” you swore you could feel the tall skeleton rolling his eyes at you. “But I can tell you this: whatever your reasons may be, few things are less stimulating than an unenthused partner. If _you_ aren’t enjoying yourself, Sans will notice, and he won’t be able to enjoy himself either. You won’t help anybody by doing things before you personally want to. So stop acting based on what you think _Sans_ wants.”

You spent a minute chewing your lip, and Papyrus’s voice came through one more.

“Whatever kind of interactions you have with my brother, make them genuine.”

You swallowed, but the lump in your throat remained. “Okay, Papyrus. I’ll take that advice seriously.”

“Good!” his voice brightened considerably. “Oh, and when you see Sans, scold him for me, will you? I should have heard about this from _him_ first. Stars know I can’t _be_ _there_ for him when I don’t know what’s going on!”

“Yeah, sure, Papyrus. I’ll tell him. Talk to you later.”

“Good night, (y/n)!”

You pulled your sheets over you and hugged your knees to your chest. _What do_ I _want? I want to stop being afraid and_ mean _it when I tell him I’m ready._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, oops. My hand slipped and I wrote a 15k word mermaid Sans x meroctopus Red fic.  
> S’not done yet, and I’m gonna keep it to myself until I’ve finished this story. Unless enough of you want it badly enough to beg me for it. >:3 In which case I would put out what I have.  
> Because I am a comments whore. :p
> 
>  **Edit:** I’m a pushover, so it exists now. [Hey There, Angel Fins](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948678)


	18. Check Your Angst, Doc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which the reader works very hard to bring the fluff back, and the author allows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I love you guys. My life and school obligations have been kinda crushing me lately. I spent every spare moment writing this and my mermaid kustard fic, 'cause those stories and all your considerate comments make me happy. I'm very tired, but my mood has rarely been better.
> 
> Thanks so much for sharing my interests and reading my fic! Comments always welcome!

Papyrus’s advice had helped you out greatly in the past, and you were prepared to follow it a second time. In fact, you doubled down and sought advice from Chloe the next morning.

“Girl, you did _what_?” Her stern voice over the phone made you wince.

After she’d gotten the full story, her input was to “treat the poor guy like the _saint_ he is and give him an apology he can’t refuse.”

So, she helped you plan a special date for the two of you. More importantly, she shot down all of your less-than-stellar ideas.

“So, what about a nice dinner somewhere?”

“Babe, do you remember the Italian place where I met Sans? You want to take him out on an apology date in _this_ monsterphobic city?”

“Alright! Jeez. So, uh, we could eat in and watch a movie?”

“You do that every weekend. There’s nothing special about it anymore!”

You ran a hand through your hair and sighed. “Please just tell me what to do, babe.”

She grinned deviously. “I was hoping to pass you this plan under better circumstances, but it’s perfect.”

And so, after a work week of perfect normalcy (where you and Sans both ignored _the incident_ as one would a vat of toxic liquid), you pulled up at his apartment. It was six in the evening on a Friday night, and you had some special items in the trunk of your car.

Sans came out to meet you and buckled into the passenger seat.

“So, do I get to know where we’re going or what?”

“Nope. It’s a surprise,” you stated, shifting into reverse.

“Please?”

You were firm in keeping your mouth shut. By the time you’d left the city limits, Sans was starting to get anxious.

“Okay, seriously, where are we going?”

“We’re going on a lovely date, Sans,” you told him, surreptitiously checking your map for the next turn.

“Yeah, but where? There’s nothing out here, (y/n).”

“Let me know how those words taste when you eat them later.”

In a few more minutes, you maneuvered your car off the road, parking in the grass at the base of a round hill. You both got out of the car, and Sans chuckled.

“Yep, looks like a bunch of nothing to me.”

But you caught the way his gaze went to the sky and lingered there, and held back a victorious chuckle.

You popped the trunk and tossed a navy blue blanket at Sans. “Hold this.” You carried a picnic basket in one hand, and a black cloth sleeve in the other and led the way to the top of the hill. Sans spread out the blanket and you set up all the food (mini sandwiches, chips, and other picnic classics). Lastly, you emptied the sleeve and propped up the telescope it had been holding.

Sans laughed and mumbled, “They don’t taste so bad. My words, I mean.”

You strolled over and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “Sans, tonight is special.”

“I can tell.” His grin was lazy, eye sockets half-closed. “What’s the occasion?”

“Chloe would say it’s an apology date.” You saw his grin fall, but it didn’t phase you. “But I know you don’t want an apology.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” he said shortly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Frankly, I was trying to _forget_ last week.”

“I know, Sans. That’s why tonight isn’t an apology. It’s a promise.” You could see you had his attention back; a flicker of curiosity showing through his irritation. “I promise that from now on, whenever I ask you to do something with me,” you leaned in closer and put your hands on his cheeks, tapping your forehead to his, “it will be because I _like_ it. So that “incident” is _never_ going to repeat itself.”

You felt Sans’s posture loosen, and you expected him to start purring any second. Your eyes went wide when he broke into tears instead. You pulled him into a hug, stroking his skull softly while he balled his fists into the springy fabric of your winter coat.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped between sobs. “I really needed to hear that.”

You held him for a few more minutes while he cried himself out, feeling strongly like you’d fixed something that had been broken. When he finished, he apologized, but you just smiled and gave him another little kiss on the forehead.

“Do you like the stars, Sans?”

“I love you so much.”

Whether that was a slip of the tongue or not, you knew he meant it. 

 

 

Scrolling through your phone, you spotted the selfie you took with Sans. Had he sent his copy to Gaster yet? Maybe you should send it to your folks too. They ought to know what your boyfriend looked like.

As you opened up your text app to attach the photo, you had a sudden sinking realization. Scrolling through your message history confirmed it.

You hadn’t told your parents you were seeing anybody yet.

Well whoops! Sans’s dad was scattered across time and space and _he_ knew who his son was dating. What was _your_ excuse? Slipped your mind, huh? What a shame!

Honestly, why was it so hard to keep in contact with your parents? Sighing, you tapped out a quick message.

 

You 10:48am

Hey, mom!

Thought I sent you something a while ago, but apparently not!

As of about two months ago, I’m seeing somebody!

 

Neither of your parents were particularly glued to their phones, so you didn’t expect an immediate response. You did some stuff around your apartment while you waited. You’d texted Sans asking if he wanted to come over more than an hour ago, but he hadn’t responded, so...

 

Mom 11:34am

Really? That’s great, (y/n) :)

Tell me about them.

 

You 11:34am

His name is Sans. He’s a particle physicist. He makes great burgers and tells great jokes. Also, he’s a skeleton monster.

 

You sucked in a breath and hit send.

 

Mom 11:35am

It’s always great to find a guy who can cook! And it sounds like you found someone to match your smarts! What was that last part?

 

You 11:35am

Hold on. I’ll send a picture.

 

You attached the selfie of you and Sans and held your breath. You knew your mom wasn’t bigoted, but there was something so nerve-wracking about showing your parents who you were dating. It made you feel just like a teenager again.

She took a minute to respond.

 

Mom 11:36am

Huh. He certainly is a skeleton monster.

So, are you going to bring him to our Christmas party? Or maybe stay with his family?

 

You exhaled a sigh of relief. Of course, you were too old for your parents to have a say in who you dated, but it would be ideal if everybody got along.

 

You 11:36am

I’ll ask if he wants to come to ours.

Just in case, would it be fine if I invited his brother, too? Paps is a really nice guy, and he’ll probably want to see Sans on Christmas.

 

Mom 11:36am

I don’t have any problem with that. Tell Sans he can bring as many people as he’d like.

 

It really was a relief. The fact that she hadn’t asked any invasive questions was appreciated too.

You didn’t bother texting your dad. He was even worse with his phone than mom was, and she would relay what you’d told her. Instead, you took out your last load of laundry and folded it. After that, you turned on the TV.

Sitting next to you on the couch, your phone lit up and buzzed.

 

Sans 12:10pm

sorry about that. i slept in

can i still come over?

 

You picked it up and shot off a casual confirmation, and there was knocking at your door within seconds.

“Hey there, sleepy head,” you teased, holding the door open for him. “You came at a good time. I was about to start on lunch.”

“Yeah? What are we having?”

You snorted. “Hot dogs. A chef, I am not.”

“Hey, don’t diss the ‘dogs,” Sans smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Any food you’re _supposed_ to drown in ketchup gets a pass from me.

You cooked up a quick lunch and settled down at the kitchen table.

“So,” you said between bites, “You, Papyrus, and anyone else you want to bring are invited to my family’s Christmas party.”

His food froze halfway to his mouth. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yep. I get if you’re nervous about meeting my parents, but they’re nice people. I think you should come—Unless you’re already celebrating it with friends and stuff,” you quickly added.

Sans shook his head slowly. “I’ll have to talk to Paps about it. I was planning to go to Ebbot to see him and some of my old friends for Gyftmas.”

You mentally clocked yourself on the head for forgetting that monsters had different Holidays than you did.

Sans lowered his eyelights in thought, then gave you a shy smile. “I think I’d like to celebrate with you?”

You frowned. “Sans, I don’t want to keep you from your friends.”

“If you’re worried, maybe you come to Ebbot with me for New Years.”

Not a bad idea. “Okay, that sounds great.”

A minute later, the food was gone, and you transitioned to the couch, turning on some old sitcom that was more laugh tracks than jokes. Sans’s commentary beside you was funnier than the actual show, and it was the only reason you were still watching.

You wrapped an arm around his shoulders and he leaned his skull on yours, then you grumbled when your phone buzzed.

You were surprised to see a text from your brother.

 

Nick 12:58pm

Hey (y/n). Mom called and told me you got a boyfriend.

Good for you, sis! You seriously needed to get “boned” ;P

So, anyway, I’ll be flying down in like three weeks. Is it cool if I crash at your place until the party? Great, thanks! See you soon! <3

 

Your eyes shot wide open, and you tried to turn off the screen before Sans could read what it said, but you weren’t fast enough. He let out a dry chuckle at the pun that happened to be an unfortunate reminder of what you and Sans _weren’t_ doing together.

“I’m sensing negative thoughts. Don’t make me punish you, Sans.”

“What?” he looked at you in cautious surprise, and you grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch. Your brother’s antics got you into this situation, and they would get you out. You were going to do to Sans what Nick used to do to you when you were feeling down as a kid.

“Burrito prison punishment,” you said, twirling the blanket around the guy before he could think to resist. His head was still sticking out the end, but you had yourself a nice, fluffy skeleton burrito, which you pulled into your lap for a hug.

Sans shook his head at you, but his expression was much better; he was even blushing a little. You leaned down and planted a little kiss on his skull, saying softly, “My brother used to do this for me. He’s not all bad, so don’t be mad at him, okay?”

“I feel like thanking him right now,” Sans murmured.

Now that you had him all wrapped up like this, you were surprised by just how cute he seemed. Of course, most people were cuter in burrito form. Hoping to draw out a purr to complete the image, you gently ran your nails over the top of Sans’s skull. The texture was smooth and didn’t tug at your nails unpleasantly.

He started purring, which meant it must feel nice. Sans didn’t have skin or nerves, but you guessed that he had about the same touch-sensitivity as a human. Except where temperature was concerned; he was far less sensitive to that. You’d learned that detail when you’d finally brought up how chilly his apartment was.

He kept it a little warmer now.

“Hey Sans?”

His deep purr rolled into a rough, pleasured tone, “Yeah, babe?”

Oh, you liked how that sounded on _multiple_ levels.

“Thanks for sticking around. I wasn’t always good to you, but you didn’t give up on me. Now we’re here, and… this is nice.”

Sans wiggled to sit up a bit more, and you felt a familiarly uncommon sensation. The world shifted into acute, colorless focus, and your soul hovered just in front of your chest. You hadn’t been in an encounter since meeting Papyrus, but the experience was exactly as you remembered. It felt like you and Sans were the only people in the world.

“Go ahead and check me, okay? Don’t stop until it starts repeating.”

 ***Sans 1 ATK 1 DEF 1 HP** **  
** ***He seems comfortable.**

***Just a goof with a sexy voice.**

***Wants to be your mate.**

***He has low self-esteem. Keep an eye on it.**

***You mean the world to him.**

***A doting older brother.**

***It’s just Sans.** ****  
**…** **  
** **< 3**

***He seems comfortable.**

As you repeatedly checked, you could literally _feel_ eyes on your soul as Sans did the same. He looked up at you curiously.

“You finished?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Me too.”

Your soul slipped back into your body and you remembered what colors were. It was amazing how much of your surroundings you could just tune out.

“That was neat, but why did we do it?”

“Well, you didn’t see anything in there about me blaming you, right? That’s proof that I don’t.”

You smiled and blushed a little. It was hard to argue against magical checks that seemed incapable of lying. “Okay.” Still, you saw more than just that from all those checks.

“But I’m not going to overlook how my check said you think you’re not attractive.” You raised an eyebrow in challenge, and Sans tilted his head to mirror you, chuckling half-heartedly.

“Kind of a moot point when my check said you don’t think so either.”

You narrowed your eyes. “I’m sure it did _not_ say that. Come on, there must have been a compliment in there somewhere.”

He blushed and looked away. “Maybe.” He glanced back, “You gonna unwrap me now?”

You chuckled and patted his head. “Nah. I know you’re enjoying this. A few more minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Sans saw when he checked you.  
>  
> 
> ***(y/n) 3 ATK 3 DEF 60 HP**  
>  ***Beautiful as always.**
> 
> ***She’s finally thinking about herself.**
> 
> ***Totally has a voice kink. Definitely not a bones kink.**
> 
> ***Happy to be improving.**
> 
> ***A human who wants to “bone” a skeleton.**
> 
> ***The woman who turned you into a burrito.**
> 
> ***Deep down, she’s terrified of ruining this.**
> 
> ***The woman you love. It’s mutual.**
> 
> ***Beautiful as always.**  
> 


	19. Thinking of You (mini)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which Sans is thinking of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This mini chapter takes place immediately after Sans returns home from your stargazing promise-date. The middle of chapter 18. 
> 
>  
> 
> **Warning: This chapter contains smut.**

When Sans flopped down on his mattress, he felt a lightness in his soul that hadn’t been there for this past week. The  _ incident _ had been constantly hanging over his skull, weighing him down, making him more irritable than usual.

But tonight, you had freed him from that feeling. He had your word: it would never happen again. You would  _ never _ look at him like that again. The next time the two of you tried something like that, it would be real, and you would enjoy it.

It was such an immense relief.

And someday, you really  _ would _ want to do that with him! You would strip down to your underwear like back then, only the confidence would never leave your eyes. You would see his bare bones and want him to embrace you. He could touch you next time, phalanges tracing your abdomen, your neck, your inner thighs—

Sans immediately stopped his fantasizing, realizing he’d allowed it to progress much too far. Even just thinking about you accepting him like that made his magic heat up and rush to the surface of his bones. His face was already flushed blue, and he was tingling with need lower down.

Sans was about to get to work calming himself down; turn on the TV, maybe take a shower, but then he wondered if that was really necessary. Patient as he was, he  _ did _ have needs, even if they were quite manageable most of the year. He had already gotten himself riled up by thinking of you. Why not just… finish what he started?

Surely you did the same thing, right? Satisfy yourself until the two of you could do it together? Maybe you didn’t picture  _ him _ when you were doing it, but… Was it too much to hope that you imagined his voice? You’d told him you liked it more than once.

… Well, if he was going to stop this, he shouldn’t have thought of you getting off to his voice. It was too late now. Sans curled his spine as a flash of need ran through his soul, clutching his sternum and letting a keening whine pass his teeth. 

Stars, if you liked when he purred, would you like that sound too?

Desperate now, Sans threw his clothes onto the floor. His jaw snapped open and exhaled warm, needy puffs of air. One hand reached down his front, and the other hovered in front of his chest. His glowing soul had long since shown itself in his rib cage, pulsing more intensely than usual, with a much hotter magical force. His fingers curled carefully around it, that slight touch already sending a spike of pleasure up his spine enough to make him gasp.

Eager to catch up down below, his fingers started working: tracing, rubbing, pinching, and trying to match the timing of their touches to his soul’s rhythm to maximize the pleasure they gave. 

The sensitive magical split that formed whenever his mouth was open was throbbing. Stars, where were your lips when he needed them? 

Down below, one of his Phananges slipped deeper than he’d intended for it to go, and his head swam with an enticing numbness. Hazy-eyed, he glanced at the hot, twitching soul in his hand, plump and soft and eager, and he pressed his thumb into it.

He could hear his magic throbbing in his skull for a second. He didn’t have insides, but he still felt as though they’d been kneaded in the best way. Sans forced himself to slow down, tease himself, only rubbing firm, gentle circles on the surface of the magical organ. He didn’t do this often, and he didn’t want it to end too quickly.

But an image of your almost-naked body and welcoming stare invaded his mind, and his patience quickly eroded.

Sans left his lower region to the fleeting, ethereal touches of blue magic, and devoted both hands to his soul. The culmination of his being trembled and twitched under his strokes, and all the magic in his body echoed it. Like condensation from the air, beads of magic collected on its beating blue surface and dribbled down his fingers. He clung more desperately to the slick surface, and the stimulation only prompted more magic to leak out. 

The whole process was a spiral. With his magic flowing more readily, Sans intensified his ministrations down below, and let his blue magic spread to other sensitive places as well; the inner face of his spine, the sides of his neck vertebrae, anywhere he still had the focus and control to reach. The more stimulating it was, the harder his soul seized, forcing out more magic. 

He continued dragging it out until he was a sweating, gasping mess and unraveled completely. His eyelights morphed into hearts; his soul shuttered and flashed brightly; liquid magic poured down his arms and dripped onto his rib cage and the sheets below. Spent, the magical organ dimmed and floated quietly back where it belonged, fading from view.

Sans gasped for air and dropped his hands, clutching at the sheets weakly. He stared up at the ceiling with hazy eyelights, then slowly rolled his head to the side. Stars, if you were laying beside him right now, this would be perfect.

Well… someday, right? You promised.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is now the canonical reason Sans slept in the next morning. XD


	20. Christmas - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which the reader’s brother arrives! And Christmas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was getting way too long, so I decided to cut it in half. That way you at least get something to read, lol.
> 
> Thanks for all the lovely comments! I really appreciate them!

As promised, Nick arrived on your doorstep a week before Christmas. You knew plenty of families where the younger sibling was taller, but your older brother was a full head higher than you. You had no idea where he got it since he was taller than both of your parents. 

Nick was also a very sporty-outdoorsy type. His tan--despite living way up north--and muscles made his height look completely natural on him. And, maybe it was his health-nut habits, but he looked like he could easily be in his early twenties, rather than nearly thirty. 

He arrived with bags at his feet and every intention of intruding into your little apartment, whether you accepted him graciously or not.

“(Y/n)!” Nick grinned, pulling you into a bear hug. His short, well-kept beard caught on your hair and messed it up. “It’s been  _ so  _ long, oh my god!”

“Because  _ someone  _ decided to move to Canada,” you scoffed, hugging back. “I missed you, Nick.”

The hug ended and Nick started carrying his stuff in, setting them in a corner of the living room. “I know, it sucks how far away it is.” He grunted and moved a particularly heavy duffle bag. “But I love it up there. I’ve only ever regretted moving once.”

“Yeah? When was that?” You didn’t bother helping him move stuff. Nick had this.

He set down the last carrier and wiped some nonexistent sweat off his brow. “When the monsters came out of the underground.”

You blinked and tipped your head. “Why then and not, like, on mom’s birthday or something?”

Nick looked at you with a half smile and moved to sit down at the kitchen table. You joined him for what was shaping up to be an involved conversation. 

“Because I wish I could have been here to help when those guys needed it most. But I really had my hands full back then.”

“I know that, Nick.” Nick had been dealing with a lot six years ago. You knew he would have moved right back down to help if he could have.

Your brother smiled and held your hands. “But you were here, (y/n). I’m  _ so _ happy about that!”

You opened your eyes wide and thought back to yourself six years ago, too caught up in studying and work to have any room for activism beyond the occasional social media post or charity contribution. You knew others who had done so much more than you had. Like Karen and Imana, who had helped  _ build them a fucking city _ .

“I’ve barely done anything to help, though.”

“You’re dating a monster, (y/n)!”

You stared at Nick’s wide grin in abject horror. “I’m not doing that to make a statement, Nick! I love Sans.”

“I  _ know _ ,” he beamed. “That’s why it  _ matters _ ! You’re an example of true love between a human and a monster! That’s, like, what better proof is there that our species can get along?”

You took one of your hands back and ran it down your face. “Nick, I know you mean well, but this kind of talk is kind of upsetting to me.”

He calmed down a little. “Sorry. I know it sounds pretty disingenuous. Look, (y/n), I’m jazzed that you’re with a monster, but I’m honestly really happy that you found somebody you like. You know which one means more to me if I had to pick.”

He stood up. “Well, I guess I’ll get unpacking. Is it fine if I put my stuff in your room? I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“That’s fine.”

“And when can I meet your new vertebae?”

Your jaw dropped at his wiggling eyebrows. You wanted to hate him so badly, but he was too big of a goober to actually go through with it. 

_ Sans would love these fucking puns. Just be happy about that. _

Shaking your head, you sighed and looked down at your phone. It was almost ten o’clock. 

“He should be awake soon. I’ll tell him to come over once he’s up.”

You strolled behind Nick as he dragged his stuff to your room, face still buried in your texting app.

“Does he live far?” 

“Not really. About six minutes by car? He can teleport, so it’s practically nothing.”

“No kidding? Magic can do that?”

You nodded absently and slid your phone back into your pocket. “Yeah, seems pretty uncommon, though. I haven’t asked him to take me anywhere yet. He made it sound like my organs might hurt afterwards? I’m honestly a little scared to try.”

A minute later, your phone buzzed in your pocket and you heard a knock at the door right after. 

“That’ll be him.”

“Is it weird how excited I am right now?” Nick bounced on the balls of his feet. You knew your brother was pro-monster in every sense of the word. But, living where he did, he’d never actually met one.

“Don’t be weird, Nick. But, uh,” you brushed a lock of hair behind your ear, “he loves jokes if you want to make a good impression.”

You went to open the door. Sans was dressed in sweatpants and his favorite blue hoodie. You guessed he’d traded in his shorts when he’d seen your text. You knew it couldn’t be because of the  _ temperature  _ that he was covering up more.

“Hey, babe. So your bro’s in town?”

You nodded and gave Sans a little welcome hug. You noticed that he didn’t take his hands out of his pockets to return it and resisted a sigh.

“Yeah,” you whispered, “and he’s a total monsterphile. Relax.”

He did; you felt his shoulders slumping, and you got a return to your chaste hug.

You turned around and saw Nick with his hands plastered over his mouth, looking for all the world like a goddamn fangirl. Sans saw him and started to tense up again.

“Nick, I told you not to be weird,” you lowered your voice warningly.

“I know, I know!” He collected himself and walked up to Sans, towering over the little guy. “Dude, I’m sorry. You’re the first monster I’ve met, and this is just so cool!” He offered a hand to shake. “I’m Nick, (y/n)’s older brother. So cool to meet you, dude!”

“Uh, yeah.” Sans hesitantly took Nick’s hand, and your brother stared wide-eyed at the delicate little bones. “The name’s Sans. Nice to meet you, pal.”

A grin stretched Nick’s face when he saw Sans talk without moving his mouth. “Magic,” he shook his head. “So freaking cool.”

Your brother wasn’t letting go or saying anything, so Sans gave you a look and you took Nick by the shoulders, gently pulling him back a few steps. “Enough drooling over my boyfriend, Nick. Go unpack the rest of your shit.”

He lifted his hands in surrender and went to do just that, peeking over his shoulder a few times on his way, still with that doofus grin on his face.

You put a hand on Sans’s shoulder and gave him a questioning look, to which he chuckled unsurely. 

“So that’s, uh, the other end of the spectrum, I guess.”

You snorted and quickly covered your face so Nick couldn’t hear you laughing.

“Yeah. Feel free to snap at him if he gets too weird. He’s pretty tough, so don’t worry about hurting his feelings.” You lowered your voice and cupped your hands to whisper where Sans’s ear would be. “And don’t bring up his ex-wife. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“Uh, okay.”

You and Sans settled in on the couch while Nick finished sorting out his things. When he came out of your room, he was wearing track pants and a sleek red jacket, and a bright smile on his face. 

“So I was thinking about going for a quick jog before lunch. Anybody want to come with?”

You didn’t have anything against running (hell, you did it sometimes), but you knew you and Nick had different opinions on what a “quick jog” was. And besides, “Nick, it’s freezing out. Thanks but no thanks.”

He shrugged. “Suit yourself. How about you, dude? You run?”

Sans’s eyelights sparkled at the unintentional hilarity, and you hid a chuckle.

“Sorry, pal, I’m a genuine lazybones.”

“A bonefied couch monster,” you added.

Nick tried not to laugh and his face screwed up funny. “Just me then. I’ll be back in a bit, boneheads.”

The front door opened and shut, and you and Sans broke out into laughter.

“Is it weird that your brother kinda reminds me of my brother?” Sans asked, wiping a magical tear out of his eye socket.

You hummed. “Tall, energetic, outgoing, and a total sweetpea? Yeah, I can see it.”

“They both have orange souls, too,” Sans mentioned. 

You pondered that and wrapped your arm around the little sack of bones. “Bravery, huh? …I can see that too.”

The room became quiet, and you realized now was probably the best time to tell Sans about Nick’s ex-wife, so he would know what kind of land mines were sitting around.

“So, about what I said before,” you crossed your legs and sighed softly. “Nick was married to just the nicest girl you would ever meet in your life. They were going to have a kid together and everything. She died in a traffic accident; some idiot trying to drive when she was high off her ass.”

Sans winced. “That’s terrible.”

“It hurt Nick pretty bad,” you nodded. “He got her cremated and went to Canada to spread her ashes. She was originally from there, so, yeah. Nick just… kinda stayed there after that. He started coming back down to visit for Holidays and stuff after the first couple months, but yeah. It’s been about six years, and he’s doing much better, but I don’t know if he’s good to talk about it yet.”

“I won’t mention it.”

 

Papyrus arrived in town a few days later. He and Nick sort of distracted each other so you and Sans could hang out, and you were almost sure it was on purpose. Both of them were notorious match-makers, after all.

Speaking of which, you took the time to thank Papyrus extensively for his helpful advice. To which he laughed his strange but pleasant laugh.

“Nyeh heh heh! Of course, (y/n), you can be sure that the Great Papyrus wouldn’t leave you to self-destruct in your time of need! Wisdom as great as mine is for sharing!” And he used magic to make his crimson scarf flutter behind him. What a legend.

Your brother was already in love with magic, and he proclaimed daily that Papyrus was the coolest person on the face of the planet. Nick was a goof, but you discovered Papyrus’s weakness to compliments thanks to him. The giant skeleton seemed eager for… validation? Praise? Attention? He had it and he deserved it, but he always seemed ready for more. It was like the opposite of Sans’s lay-low attitude.

Either way, your brothers were friends, and that was fantastic. (They even both enjoyed long jogs in the freezing cold!)

The night before the Christmas party almost felt bittersweet because it meant Paps and Nick would be going home soon. You were going to miss the two goofballs when they were gone. 

This week had been so…  _ good _ . Just a week where everyone was happy and nothing went wrong. Even your touch therapy with Sans was going well. When he was bundled up in blankets and sweaters, you could even  _ cuddle _ with him. That you were doing this well made you positively giddy.

Lately, the only thing really making you anxious was the thought of introducing Sans to your parents, but you had every reason to believe that would go smoothly too.

 

“Okay, is everyone buckled?” You asked while looking in the rearview mirror.

Papyrus bent his back so his neck didn’t hit the car roof at a sharp angle and pulled his knees up so his long legs barely fit. He had his seat moved as far down and back as it would go, but he was much too tall to get comfortable.

Because of his size, Papyrus was in the passenger seat, and Sans was crammed into the spot behind him (also because of his size). Nick was behind you. They were all, in fact, buckled.

“I still think it would have been better to take my car,” Papyrus grumbled.

Unsurprisingly, he drove a convertible. Even Nick would freeze if they rode with the top down. Parking was tight at your parents’ place, and you were only allowed to bring one car. On top of that, your parents lived an hour away; too far for Sans to teleport directly. You felt bad for Papyrus, but he would just have to put up with it.

 

Your parents lived in a nice-sized house in the suburbs. With their four-car driveway and all the street space, it would normally be no problem finding a place to park, but all of your cousins and aunts, and uncles, and so on had come for the reunion, so there was just one little spot along the road you could squeeze into. You might have just parked in front of one of the neighbors’ houses, but they’d complained about that previous years, and you didn’t want to antagonize anybody today.

As soon as your car was stopped, Papyrus got out and stretched. “Thank goodness  _ that’s _ over,” he grumbled. Then his face lit up. “My, there are a lot of cars here! Your family sure is popular, (y/n)!”

“Everybody here  _ is _ my family, Paps. We’re all related, even if I don’t know some of them that well.”

You offered Sans your hand to hold and he held it tightly, then your group walked up to the door. Nick took the liberty of ringing the doorbell. 

Nothing was about to happen, but your heart was beating a mile a minute. You chuckled, realizing that this happened to you every time you brought a boy home for the first time. You were a fully-functioning adult already, but still a giddy, love-struck teenager somewhere deep inside.

Given a minute, the door clicked and swung open. Your dad was standing on the other side, still red-faced and chuckling from something someone else had said. Your dad saw Nick first and smiled brightly, tossing his arms around his son in a hug.

“Hey, son! Welcome back, great to see you again!”

“Heya, dad.”

Nick returned the hug firmly and stepped aside to give you a turn. Once your brother was out of the way, your dad noticed the two skeleton monsters hanging around you. His smile fell for a second, but he forced an approximation back on.

“Oh, right, my wife told me (y/n) was bringing friends. Sorry, I don’t remember your names.”

“I am the Great Papyrus! A pleasure to meet you, (y/n)’s dad!”

“Sans, and ditto.”

Your dad nodded and raised an eyebrow, “And which one of you is dating my daughter?” His eyes fell on your hand locked with Sans’s, then he nodded and looked up at Papyrus. “Alright, well  _ you _ can come inside.” He looked back at your boyfriend and grinned widely. “ _ We _ get to stay outside and have a talk first.”

Sans’s smile fell slightly, and he held your hand tighter. You chuckled and leaned down to whisper to him. “It’s a tradition for the dad to try and intimidate the boyfriend; keeps away heartbreakers and fuck boys. You get out of it by being polite and sincere, but I can bail you out if you’re not comfortable.”

“Nah, if it’s a human culture thing, I should try and play along, right?”

You patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll be waiting right inside.”

 

***

 

Sans watched you, Paps, and Nick head inside and stuffed his hands in his pockets so they wouldn’t give away his nervousness. “So, what did you wanna talk about?”

Your dad was aging and a little overweight, but he leaned against the doorway and tried to look intimidating. His face was just a little too kind to put on a proper “mean face,” but he tried, Sans could give him that.

“(Y/n) is my only daughter. I just want to look out for her and make sure the boy she likes doesn’t end up hurting her.” He glared, “So, Sans, if you’re thinking of doing that, you can just turn right around and go back home.”

“Of course I wouldn’t hurt her.” Sans had just met this man, but he was your father, and you had said to be sincere. “I love her.”

Your dad hummed. “So you’re willing to marry her?”

Sans laughed. “What? Sign a piece of paper at the courthouse that says we want to stay together? Listen, pops, if (y/n) agrees, I’m willing to soulbond with her, let alone have a human wedding.”

His earnest statement seemed to throw a wrench in your dad’s plans. 

“What’s soulbonding?”

Sans scratched his cheek and had the decency to look bashful. “It’s what it sounds like. A magic soul connection that would tie us together. The monster version of marriage, you could say, just a lot more meaningful.”

“Well, I’m not familiar, but it means you plan to stay with her?”

“Until I dust.”

You dad stood up off the wall and strolled over to Sans. For a moment, there was no species or cultural barrier; just two men who both cared deeply about the same woman. He set a hand firmly on the skeleton’s shoulder and nodded his head. 

“Well, as long as we’ve got that straightened out, welcome to the family, Sans. You can head on inside.”

Your monster boyfriend exhaled a sigh of relief. “Thanks.”

 

***

 

You saw Sans walk back inside. Smiling, you approached him. 

“Hey, you made it.”

He chuckled. “Your dad could use a few lessons in being intimidating.”

Well, your dad was a sweetheart; of course he wasn’t great at that sort of thing. He had always been more the type to compel his kids away from bad behavior by giving them the “disappointed face,” if even  _ that  _ was necessary.

Sans peered up at you with those pretty white lights. “So what now?”

“I guess I introduce you to people. Nick took Paps off to do the same thing. My mom’s probably fixing snacks in the kitchen if you’re ready to meet her.”

“Do I have to pass another test?”

You laughed. “I don’t think so?”

As you worked your way to the kitchen, you introduced Sans to people along the way. Some people looked uncomfortable, but everybody was careful not to seem rude or racist. Nobody offered to shake Sans’s hand, but your family just wasn’t very handsy with strangers in general. As long as he didn’t seem to mind, you weren’t going to make a big deal out of it. Not like you had much room to complain anyway.

In the kitchen, you found your mom chatting with one of your dad’s sisters and waiting for something to come out of the oven. You called out and she immediately went in for a hug.

“Hi! You came! It’s so good to see you again, sweetie!”

“Hi mom,” you hugged back. “It’s nice to see you too.”

You released her and gestured to Sans. “This is my boyfriend Sans.”

You recognized your mom’s look and body language as how you would have looked if you were meeting Sans like this for the first time (albeit with foreknowledge and some time to prepare).

_ So this is where I got it from.  _

“It’s nice to meet you, Sans,” she forced on a welcoming smile. “I’m (y/n)’s mother.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you too.” Sans must have noticed the resemblance too because his voice was low and gentle. “Hey, you like jokes?”

Your mom smiled, “Of course.”

“Well, you look a little nervous, so how about an icebreaker?”

“Alright.” 

She put on an expectant look, and Sans fished in his pocket, pulling out a case of icebreaker mints and setting them in your mom’s confused hand. She stared at it for a minute and then snorted, and you looked at him in amused shock.

“ _ Oh my god _ , Sans. Did you buy that just for the joke?”

“Yup.”

Your mom continued chuckling and popped one of the little speckled mints into her mouth. “It’s funny though,” she said, handing the rest of the container back.

“Nah, you keep it,” Sans shrugged. “They just go right through me.”

She looked like she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to laugh, or if that would be rude. You intentionally chuckled just to let your mom know it was okay, and she cracked a smile. 

The oven, or rather, what was  _ inside  _ the oven, suddenly decided it was ready to come out, and your mother excused herself to go and deal with that. In the meantime, you took Sans to go join the rest of the party.

The party wasn’t a very demanding one. The point was mostly to get the family in one place. After you’d introduced Sans to everyone you personally knew and shared some words with your old friends, you looked around to find everyone already engaged with something. Time for a break, you supposed.

You and Sans claimed a spot on the couch for yourselves and just enjoyed the people-watching.

Papyrus and Nick spotted you and walked over. Each of them had a cup of the non-alcoholic eggnog cradled in their hands.

“Sans! They have eggnog! I am finally going to try this traditional human holiday beverage!”

You smiled. “Aw, your first time having eggnog? How sweet.”

Sans nodded, “That’s cool Paps.” He tilted his head as his brother was lifting the glass. “Hey, wait a second. Did you remember to—”

Papyrus took a sip of the frothy liquid only to splutter and cough it back into the cup. Nick and you panicked and stood up to make sure he was alright, but Sans just laughed hysterically.

“Oh, bro,” he wiped a tear out of his eye socket, “there’s nothing but human food here. You gotta take your medicine.”

Nick reached up to pat the tall skeleton’s back, though you doubted how effective that was.

“Are you okay, Papyrus?” You asked, handing him a napkin off the nearest coffee table. He accepted it and wiped down the front of his teeth.

“I’m perfectly fine,” he blushed, “simply embarrassed for my carelessness… and for that unsightly display. I do apologize.”

“Dude, no need to apologize,” Nick shook his head.

Sans tossed Papyrus a magic supplement from the bottle he’d brought with him, and he tried again to drink the classic Christmas beverage. Nick winced and you nearly gagged.

“Aw, dude…”

“You’re seriously drinking out of the same cup?”

He tilted his head at you. “Why not? I don’t have saliva, or germs for that matter.”

He made a good point, but your acid reflux didn’t care. You looked away before you could seriously gag and decided you wouldn’t be having any eggnog yourself tonight.

The four of you sat together and enjoyed each other's company, occasionally welcoming someone else who happened to be standing near enough to eavesdrop and become curious. All-in-all, the evening wound down in a pleasant and relaxing way until dinner--where both of your monster friends remembered to take their pills before consuming any human food.

 

The plan was for everyone to stay the night and open presents in the morning. Your parents’ house was reasonably large, but finding space for everybody was still a bit of a challenge.

There was some debate over who you would room with.

Staying with your brother was doable, but still a little weird. You also had the option to share a room with your parents, but that was weird in its own right. If you stayed with Sans, who would Papyrus stay with?  _ Could  _ you stay with Sans? There were a lot of factors, and it was kind of hard to decide.

Sans was clearly leaning toward staying with Papyrus, just to avoid potential incidents, but the decision was taken out of either of your hands when Nick and Papyrus said they would room together.

You and Sans shared a look. Everybody else in the house was busy deciding their own arrangements and couldn’t be bothered to care about yours, and your choices seemed fixed.

Since evening had arrived, you all went back to the car, fetching your overnight bags and the presents to add to the pile under the tree. There were three bathrooms that had showers in them, and everybody was rotating through to take their turn. About half decided to wait until morning, including Sans.

You were in the night group. After quickly showering and drying your hair, you found your guest room to see Sans sitting anxiously at the foot of a queen-sized mattress, already in his pajamas.

“Seriously, I can sleep on the floor,” he said immediately.

You both knew he would end up spooning you in his sleep if things were left like this. You didn’t want him to sleep on the floor, but you had promised not to do things that made you uncomfortable, either, and you weren’t comfortable with being spooned yet.

“Hang on, I have an idea.”

You went back out into the house and found the blanket closet, searching through it for something you knew was in there somewhere. You returned to the guest room and held up your prize with a triumphant smile.

“A blanket?” Sans asked.

“An  _ electric _ blanket,” you corrected. “I won’t be the warmest thing on the bed if you cover up with this. No searching for warm things in your sleep. Problem solved, right?”

His eyelights widened. “You’re a genius.”

And for the first time, you and Sans were able to be in a bed together without something going wrong.


	21. Christmas - Part 2, New Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which there’s not really any Christmas stuff, but various relationships make progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. Guys, I really didn't feel like writing more party scenes. So, like, I didn’t. ;p
> 
> I DO WHAT I WANT!
> 
> Comments always read, appreciated, replied to, and converted into physical form for later consumption. Nom.

In the morning, everyone in the house ate a big breakfast together and then gathered in the livingroom to open presents. Naturally, there were too many people gathered for everybody to have gotten something for everybody else, so people basically gave presents to whoever they wanted to. It made the room naturally break into many smaller gift-giving circles. 

As for you, you got four presents: one from both your parents, from your brother, from Sans, and from Papyrus. You’d gotten a little something for each of the five of them as well.

You picked up Sans’s present, and Papyrus let out that he’d been the one to wrap it. You took a second to examine the professional-level wrapping job and decided he had a right to brag. You  _ almost _ didn’t want to open it.

Inside was a fluffy scarf in your favorite color. 

Smiling, you thanked Sans with a little kiss on the cheek and handed him your present. You’d asked him a while ago what he’d like, but he hadn’t been very specific. He mentioned liking jokes, comfy stuff, jokes, and whoopee cushions... so you’d gotten him a new pair of fuzzy slippers with whoopee cushions built into the soles. 

You weren’t sure he’d ever actually use them, but he practically died laughing when he saw them, so you considered it a win.

(Okay, scratch that. He put them on immediately and now he won’t take them off! What have you unleashed?!)

After the gift exchange was over, people to started filtering out. Those who had long drives ahead of them left earlier than others. Your group planned your departure so that you would return home in time for lunch. When that time came, you tracked down your parents to say goodbye and herded everybody into the car for the hour-long drive home.

 

***

 

Today was the last day Nick and Papyrus would be in town before heading back to Ebott and Canada respectively. It was their last day to spend time with their siblings, but also with each other. Papyrus was energetic, outgoing, cheerful, and a total ham: everything Nick would want out of a friend. To top it off, he was a monster made of literal magic, so he was the  _ best, coolest _ kind of person Nick could think of to hang out with.

And both of them were going to be stuck in big metal boxes for hours tomorrow during their journeys home, so Nick wanted to at least go on one last jog with the tall skeleton. He was in the middle of preemptively changing into his exercise clothes when the door suddenly swung open.

“Nick! I was wondering if you were up for a run with the Great Papyrus!” He saw your brother with his shirt off and blinked. “Oh! I apologize. To think I would happen to forget to knock just when you were in the middle of changing! What a blunder!”

“Uh? No problem, dude.” Nick slipped his athletic shirt on and slid his jacket over it. “I was actually getting ready to ask you the same thing.”

“Well, that’s perfect! I have a route in mind already.”

“Sure, man, you lead the way.”

They called out to you and Sans that they would be outside for a while, and Nick let Papyrus set their pace. The monster had very long legs, but that just meant Nick got a  _ really _ good workout. Even at that pace, he and Papyrus could go for a while, so Nick was surprised when Papyrus slowed to a trot when they had only reached the park.

Nick slowed down too and quickly corrected his breathing. 

“Hey, what’s up, Paps? Why’re we stopping so soon? I know the Great Papyrus can’t be tired already.”

“Nyeh heh! Of course not! I merely wanted to suggest we transition to a different form of exercise, if you’d like to, since this is the last we will be in each other’s presence for some time.”

“Another exercise?” Nick glanced at the park and let his mind run a little. “What, like yoga or something?”

“Perhaps not something so slow,” he smiled wryly. “I was thinking along the lines of wrestling, or dancing.” He bent down to whisper in Nick’s ear, jabbing a thumb at a motel across the street from the park. “ _ Horizontally _ . If you’re interested.”

Papyrus straightened his spine and winked, and Nick was completely stunned into submission.

“You… want… to have sex? With me?” 

Papyrus smiled brightly and nodded, and Nick looked down, rubbing the back of his head. It wasn’t like he  _ didn’t _ want to—even the idea of some kind of magic sex was enough to excite him—but he was unprepared, didn’t have any condoms or whatever on him, had never been with a man  _ or _ a monster, and he wasn’t sure he could handle another serious relationship.

Oh, but everything about the way Papyrus was looking at him told him he would have a great time.

“It’s uh, it’s been a while since the last time I did something like that,” Nick managed. “I don’t want this to, like, make our relationship weird or anything. I’m not looking for something serious right now, Paps.”

“Neither am I! I just want to have a bit of fun with a likeable and handsome friend! Of course, I won’t push you if you aren’t interested. There’s no need for unnecessary tension!”

Nick swallowed, thinking about just how long it had been for him, and now a  _ monster _ , who he genuinely  _ liked _ as a friend, was offering him sex with no strings attached.

“I have no idea how it’ll work, but I’m plenty curious enough to find out,” he finally said.

Papyrus  _ beamed _ . “Worry not, human! The Great Papyrus will teach you everything you need to know!” He lowered his voice fractionally and winked again. “And I am a very skilled teacher.”

Oh “stars,” this was really happening!

 

Nick returned home an hour later to a scolding he fully deserved.

“Jeez, Nick, it’s not like this is the last time I’ll get to see you for the next few months.” 

He ducked his head away from you. “Sorry, you’re right. I didn’t mean to take so long.”

You rolled your eyes and backed off. “It’s fine, I get it. You’re gonna be stuck in cars and planes for a while after this, and you’ll have to say goodbye to your new friend, too. I’m not surprised you two got a little carried away.”

Oh, if you knew just how carried away they’d gotten. Nick blushed and hoped you wouldn’t take this badly.

“Yeah, about Papyrus,” Nick looked around and saw that you were alone, but lowered his voice anyway. “Would it be weird if, uh, if we were a thing?”

He watched you blink and internally translate his statement. “You… want to go out with Papyrus? My boyfriend’s brother?”

He gave you an awkward, lopsided smile. “I know, small world, right?”

“You really like him that much?”

“He’s a super cool dude,” Nick told you. “Easily best friend material. But, uh, things got deep between us today, and I think we could be more than that?”

“Damn charming skeletons,” you murmured, causing Nick to relax considerably. “What the heck happened while you were out there?”

“Um, various things. We ran, talked… had sex in a motel room.”

You slapped your hand over your mouth, eyes wide. “He got you from the friend zone to the bedroom in  _ under an hour _ ?!”

Nick chuckled, only sounding  _ slightly _ ashamed. “You missed the chance to say “bone zone.”” He winked, and you chuckled.

“Well, I’m not going to get in your way if you two really like each other that much. But I was first, so you get to explain to mom and dad where their grandkids are.”

Nick smiled warmly and pulled you into a bear hug. “Thanks, (y/n).”

“Don’t worry about it.”

 

***

 

Gaster was doing his own thing in the void, the same as usual. There really was nothing at all to serve as entertainment. He could move his soupy body through the inconsistent space, sleep, lose himself in his own thoughts, or reread Sans’s letters yet again.

He was considering having a mental chess match with himself when he felt something quickly pass through the void. Oh, lovely, he could engage in his hobby today, maybe find a new letter.

Gaster tracked the place where the ripple had started and searched for signs of beings from outside. There was indeed a note today, with a very noticeable medical syringe sitting on top of it.

 

#1818

hey dad,

merry gyftmas. alphys and i did our best. hopefully this is the right DT dosage. should help you “collect” yourself a little. heh. 

there’s still some risk you’ll melt and merge with weird things, but it’s your choice if you decide to take it. come find me if it works out.

sans

 

Gaster stored the letter inside his body and picked up the syringe of crimson liquid. He chuckled at the thought of melting as a side effect. His form was already highly inconsistent, so it would make no difference, and there was nothing else in the void to merge with, either. He didn’t hesitate to press the needle into his tar-like flank.

As it turned out, merging with pieces oneself scattered across many timelines was considerably painful. It was the first time in a long while that Gaster had lost consciousness unintentionally.

When he woke up, he had no idea where he was. Any familiar soul pulses were much too far away to track, and it was just as cold as it had always been. But there was light. For the first time in ages, there was light. Enough to blind and befuddle him for hours.

_ … Stars.  _

Perhaps it was fine to let himself adjust to it slowly. 

 

***

 

You were on social media, catching up with Holiday well-wishes, and you saw some things that surprised and disappointed you. A few of the relatives you knew by name, but really weren’t close to, had posted some hurtful and racist comments, apparently stemming from you bringing Sans and Papyrus to the Christmas party.

It was just weird because none of them had been rude to your face, but there, spread all over social media, were disparaging comments about you and your friends. 

Something that made you smile slightly was a comment from your dad under a particularly bad post.

**Cindi Martin** I’m so sad to see my niece let herself be seduced by a filthy devil-spawn. How can we just let this happen to the world? We need to remind these freaks who the surface belongs to. When she gets diseases from sleeping with that thing, honey, I told you so. 

**(Dad/n) (l/n)** Thanks for the input, Cindi. Don’t come to our house next year. 

It was a very heartwarming show of support, how readily he chose you over them, and you decided to follow your dad’s lead and block your less-savory relatives.

And, every now and then, you dropped a link or a comment first. The least these people could learn was that human and monster diseases were mutually non-communicable. Honestly, it was just pathetic at a certain point. You weren’t sad to be losing contact with these people.

 

A few days later, you left with Sans for Ebbot for New Years.

You got to go to see the shared monster-human city for the first time and meet all of Sans’s old friends. You did your best not to be weird in front of them, but you ended up shaking a lot of fuzzy and scaly hands that made your spine tingle unpleasantly. The chatting part of things was much easier for you. There were a lot of eccentric people among Sans’s friends, but they were all nice, and you got along well.

It was a little awkward seeing Papyrus again, knowing he and your brother were becoming an item, but Papyrus himself was the same as ever, and that quickly grounded you. It helped that you weren’t ever against them, either. On the contrary, you were happy that Nick was finally reentering the dating scene after being widowed for six years.

You didn’t mean any offense, but the most fun thing about your trip to Ebbot was getting to see Alphys’s lab. All the absolutely  _ amazing _ machines there, sophisticated combinations of magic and science, had you completely geeking out.

Sans was happily showing you around, explaining how each of the machines worked in detail and what they all did. He stopped in shock when you approached one in particular, reading over the screen output several times, just to be certain.

“All anomalies resolved?” he whispered.

“What does that mean?” You leaned to look over his shoulder. “What kind of anomalies is it scanning for?”

“My dad. If there are no more anomalies, either the DT serum I gave him for Gyftmas worked, and he’s consolidated himself across timelines… or he’s dead.”

Sans teleported across the room just when you were reaching out to comfort him. You saw him messing with another machine: one that he’d already explained could be used for various kinds of signaling.

You started crossing the space to catch up with him. “You’re trying to contact him?”

“There’s no telling where he ended up after piecing himself back together. If he’s alive, then I probably haven’t seen him because he doesn’t know where to find me.”

Sans turned a knob all the way up, and you both just waited around for a few minutes. When you were starting to lose hope, you heard a strange, alien-like speech from behind.

_ “Here you are. Thank you for calling. I was very lost.” _

You and Sans both spun around and flinched at the sight of an undefined, skeletal face fixed to a mess of black goop for a body. 

“Uh, so are you W.D. Gaster?” Sans asked unsurely. At least one of you could understand it, thank goodness.

_ “Indeed. Thank you for all your letters, Sans.” _

He rubbed the back of his skull. “Uh, no problem. I’m glad you actually got them.” You noticed how clearly nervous your little skeleton was and held his hand reassuringly. He smiled at you and took a deep breath. “So… was I right? Are… are you my dad?”

The goop monster nodded and gave a toothless smile. 

“Wow.” Sans just chuckled. “I can’t believe… I’m not crazy.” He gazed at the melted monster searchingly. “I… don’t know anything about you.”

_ “Yes, it’s a shame my reconstitution did not restore any of your childhood memories, but I am more than willing to start over from scratch.” _

Sans nodded. “Sorry about the serum. Alphys and I were hoping it wouldn’t melt anyone this time.”

_ “Oh, this? This isn’t your fault, Sans. I’ve been like this since the accident.” _

“Oh, really? Well, I’m sorry about that, but I’m glad it’s not my fault.” Sans glanced at you and smiled sheepishly. “Oh yeah, can you talk so my girlfriend can understand you?”

You nodded hopefully, feeling completely lost at this point.

“Oh, of course, my apologies.” To your surprise, Gaster started talking in perfectly intelligible words. His voice was tenor, like Papyrus’s, but smooth like Sans’s. He sounded very polite and pleasant. 

Even if he was now speaking so you could understand, his hands were constantly signing along in Wingdings. He had white skeletal hands that seemed only superficially connected to his body. Each hand had a large hole in the center of the palm. Definitely odd. “It’s very nice to meet you, miss (y/n).”

“Uh, yeah. You too, Mr. Gaster.”

“So where did you end up?” Sans asked. “After leaving the void, I mean.”

“Somewhere in the vicinity of Saturn, I believe.” Your and Sans’s shocked looks went unnoticed by the strange skeleton. “I’m grateful, actually. There was comparatively less light or sound for me to adjust to. I’m still getting used to there being activity around me again.”

“So what’s going to happen now?” Sans and Gaster looked at you with tilted skulls. “He needs to live somewhere and readjust, right?”

“Oh yeah,” Sans muttered. “Well, Papyrus lives nearby, or you can come back with me when we leave. You could stay in the lab if you wanted to.”

“I would prefer to live with you and your brother.” Gaster pressed his fingertips together in an adorable doof kind of way. “I have a lot of missed experiences to make up for.”

“Okay. But, like I said, Paps and I don’t live together. Who do you want to stay with?”

“Both of you.”

Sans frowned, and you tried to help out. “Do you mean you want to trade off? Like, spend one week with one son and the next with the other?”

“No.”

You looked at Sans and saw your own confusion reflected there.

“Uh, dad? I hate to burst your bubble, but you gotta pick one of us. You can’t live with both of us when we live in different cities.”

The slightly melted skeleton just gave a sweet, toothless smile. “Why not? I was on Mars when I got your signal, and I came here straight away.”

In other words, Gaster could teleport, just like Sans could, only over  _ much _ greater distances.

They had been given a lot of information to swallow all of a sudden. “Fine, then,” Sans spluttered. “As long as Paps doesn’t mind, go ahead and live with both of us. More importantly, why were you on Mars?!”

“I didn’t want to get any more lost in space, so my plan was to work my way towards the sun one planet at a time until I got close enough to sense you or your brother. There’s a human-made robot on Mars. Can you believe it, Sans? Of course, it’s not  _ perfect _ . The battery system could use improving, for one. I’m afraid it won’t last much longer at the rate it’s going. But it really is quite—”

“I’m familiar with Opportunity, dad. Look, sorry to cut you off, but (y/n) and I have people waiting on us.” Sans gave the monster a soft smile. “Do you wanna meet Papyrus?”

Gaster’s whole body trembled, and he reached up to rub a little purple tear out of his cracked eye socket. “Oh, look at me rambling.” He chuckled. “I would like that very much.”

“Alright then, let’s go.”

Gaster stared down at the hand Sans offered to him and took it gingerly. He didn’t have legs, so he was pretty slow when he wasn’t abusing the laws of spacetime. Sans half led and half dragged him back to the party that was still warming up.

It was New Years, after all: the real fun didn’t start until midnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so is it just me, or am I one of the faster updaters on this site? Maybe the wait just feels longer when you’re on the receiving end...


	22. You Kept Your Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which everybody meets Gaster, and Sans goes into heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story has over 600 kudos now, and that’s just amazing. Really, thank you guys. I didn’t think it would do so well so fast. I’m really touched.
> 
>  **Warning: This Chapter Contains Smut :D**  
>  Like, _several_ pages of it. *w*
> 
> Edit: This smut has been proclaimed the sweetest smut ever. Yes, I am your Fluff Queen.

The nice thing about Ebbot was that nobody gave strange-looking monsters a second glance, so the short walk from Alphys’s lab to Papyrus’s house was a pleasant one. You smiled at seeing the monster full of curiosity for the surface.

“Sans, those automobiles.”

“They’re called cars now, dad.”

“Yes, those. Do you own one?”

He shrugged. “Nah. I usually teleport where I need to go. If it’s too far away, I just rent a car or get someone else to drive me.”

“I have one,” you volunteered. “Did you want to go for a ride?”

Despite looking like something of an ooze monster, Gaster wasn’t leaving any mess behind him, so you figured he was safe to have on the upholstery.

The soft-spoken monster put on a sweet smile. “Perhaps it would be a nice way to look around and see how the surface has changed, but actually I was hoping to tinker a bit with one.”

You winced. “Sorry, Mr. Gaster, I don’t think I’d be comfortable with that. Maybe ask Papyrus. He has a car.” He smiled and you mentally backtracked. “Wait, ‘how the surface has changed’? Have you seen it before? I thought you just got here.”

“Oh, I saw it back before the barrier was put up.”

You nearly stopped walking, and Sans turned to look up at the monster’s face. “You mean you were there when monsters and humans were at war? How old are you?”

“I was somewhere in my third century when the accident took place, but I can’t seem to remember exactly.”

“I… had no idea monsters could live that long,” you muttered. Would Sans outlive you by that much? You were feeling pretty conflicted about the idea. Gaster, meanwhile, waved his free hand dismissively and shook his head.

“No, no, not usually. I only lived that long because I abstained from having or adopting any children. Boss monsters don’t age until they do. It’s their duty to lead monsterkind, after all. It wouldn’t do for them to die without leaving anyone to fill their role.”

Oh, so in that case, everything would be fine as long as you and Sans had a kid… Wait. Shit, no it wouldn’t be fine! You couldn’t have kids together! You mentally tabbed, highlighted, and underlined that topic to come back to later when you and Sans were alone.

You’d arrived at Papyrus’s house, the sounds of cheerful activity leaking out through the front door. You gave a firm knock and the aggressive blue fish lady, Undyne, opened the door. She threw on a shark-toothed grin and shouted to the rest of the house.

“Guys, the nerds are back!” Then, more quietly, “Who’s your friend?”

“It’s kind of a long story, but,” Sans shrugged, “this is my long lost dad, W.D. Gaster.”

Undyne’s smile dropped like someone had torn it off, and her good eye went wide. She didn’t waste any time, turning back inside, pushing through the crowd and yelling for Papyrus to ‘get his ass out here!’

Sans, Papyrus, and Gaster ended up having a private reunion(?) in another room. You didn’t know what happened in there, but nobody looked upset afterwards. In fact, Papyrus seemed thrilled to have a family member he never knew about.

Once that was dealt with, they introduced Gaster to everyone else at the party. People were pretty confused to hear he was Sans and Papyrus’s dad, but they gave him a warm welcome overall.

Undyne threw an arm around Papyrus’s shoulder. She and the giant goat woman present were the only people you’d ever seen who were taller than him and could do that.

“I’m gonna let this slide for now, Papyrus, but later, you’d better tell me everything, got it?!”

“Of course I will, Undyne! Best friends don’t keep secrets from each other!”

“Alright, good! I’ll leave you dweebs to your fun then!” And she went to go arm wrestle several of the dog monsters… at the same time. What a badass fish.

 

The next morning, you and Sans were getting ready to head home. You knew Gaster was staying with Papyrus first, but you offered to take him along so he would know where to find you. He said it was unnecessary.

“It was impossible from Mars, but I’ll be able to sense my faint soul connection with Sans and Papyrus from anywhere on Earth.”

“Just don’t teleport to my work, dad. It’s a restricted government facility; you’ll get arrested.”

“I’ll be careful that nobody sees me.”

“Dad, what the fuck?”

You chuckled at Gaster’s ominously innocent smile and pulled Sans along to the car.

 

You arrived home around lunchtime, pulling in at your place because it was where your car belonged. Since you were already there, you invited Sans inside and offered to make lunch.

Standing on your tiptoes, you fished around in the cupboards. “Is Mac and cheese good for dinner? I need to go shopping, so I don’t have a lot of options right now.”

“That’s fine,” Sans shrugged, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.

“Alright, great. Let me just put the water on.”

You filled up a pot and turned the stove on, waiting for the water to boil so you could add the noodles. Sans pulled out a chair and sat down, and you followed his lead. It would be a minute still.

“Hey, (y/n)? We need to talk.”

Your carefree attitude was immediately whitewashed with anxiety. Were those words ever good news? You didn’t do something wrong, did you?

“What’s up?” You hoped you didn’t sound as nervous as you felt. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s, uh, it’s fine. Nothing bad, really.”

You relaxed slightly, but only slightly. “Okay, well, I’m listening.”

Sans rubbed the back of his skull and pointed his eyelights anywhere but at you. “It’s been almost four months since we started dating, and I promised you we’d talk about this when the time came.”

His hints weren’t working for you. You stared on blankly, and his cheekbones blossomed with blue light.

“I’m going into heat soon.”

Oh. _OH!_ Yeah, you _did_ need to talk about this!

“Holy shit, I forgot! What, uh… what’s going to happen with that?”

“Do you know the basics already?” You shook your head, and he gave you a lopsided smile. “Of course not. Well, uh, my body is basically going to be over-producing magic for a week. I’m gonna be more emotionally and physically sensitive. Usually, I’d just hole up in my room and wait for it to be over, but now that I’m seeing someone, my magic isn’t going to dissipate on its own. It’s only going to want to transfer to you.”

“And how’s it gonna do that?” you asked, feeling a big lump of anxiety in your throat.

“Physical contact,” he admitted. “But it doesn’t have to be intimate. I mean, that would clear my system out _faster_ , but we don’t have to.”

“So, just handholding and stuff like we’ve been doing?” You were visibly relieved. “That doesn’t sound so hard. Will transferring your magic to me make me feel weird at all?”

Sans shrugged. “A monster would feel warm and sensitive after taking enough of it. I don’t know about you.” He chuckled, “Your magic senses are so bad you might not even feel anything.”

You thought it over carefully: asking yourself if you could do it; if you wanted to; all the things you knew you had to check yourself on when it concerned Sans. The water started boiling before you finished, and you got to work making the Mac and Cheese. Finally, when you set down the completed bowls on the table, you gave him your answer.

“Sans? I want to be there for you. Just nothing intimate, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

 

***

 

Sans woke up a few mornings later feeling decidedly off. His head was fuzzy but sharp at the same time, all of his senses were dialed up to eleven, and he felt warmer than the room temperature. It was starting alright.

The first thing Sans did was drag his phone off the nightstand and call his work. The anti-discrimination laws monster and human activists had pushed for meant any government job had to allow monsters to be hired and had to accommodate any race-specific needs. Not all monsters required time off for their heats, but it was there for them nonetheless.

Sans most certainly would need it. Bosses had a crazy amount of magical energy, so they never got easy heats.

After he’d secured a paid week of leave from work, Sans shot you a text to let you know it was starting. You were at work already, unfortunately, so he was on his own until you got off.

He was prepared to lie in bed doing absolutely nothing all day, but something in his peripheral vision startled him awake. There was half of a round, white face peeking up over the foot of his bed that he had somehow failed to notice despite his hyperactive senses. Sans almost threw a bone attack before it called out to him.

“Good morning, son.”

“Dad?! What the hell!” Sans quickly dismissed his magic.

“I sensed you weren’t feeling well, so I came to check on you. But then, when I got here, I noticed what was going on and, well… I made you breakfast?”

“Oh, uh… thanks.”

“It was no trouble.” He peered up cautiously and tapped his fingertips together. “I’m going to go spend some time with your brother.” Then he defied the laws of physics to sink into his own shadow and was gone.

 

As the day wore on, Sans felt his heat quickly getting worse. He ended up lying on the tile floor in the kitchen with a fan blowing on him, but he couldn’t seem to cool down. Usually, the magic would disperse into the air a little but that just wasn’t happening. His bones were turning slightly blue from all the magic resting just below the surface.

Anytime Sans intentionally tried to waste the excess magic, his soul just pumped out more, which then left him drained on top of everything else. The best thing he could do was endure it and wait for you.

 

***

 

You texted Sans as soon as you were home, and there was knocking at your door the very next second. One look and you could tell Sans wasn’t doing so great. He was sweating a lot, still in his pajamas, his eyelights were fuzzy, and he was tinted kind of… blue?

“Whoa, dude, you don’t look so good. Sorry I left you alone all day.”

Sans put on a relieved smile as soon as he saw you. “I’m feeling better already.”

You invited him in and shut the door, putting the back of your hand against his flushed and sweaty forehead. It was almost hot enough to burn you, which was admittedly concerning. The little skeleton leaned into the touch and purred.

“Feels so nice…”

You moved your palm to his cheek and planted a kiss on his skull. “Why don’t we go cuddle on the couch?”

“M’kay.”

You microwaved some pizza rolls and held Sans through a couple of movies. As the night wore on, you noticed that his temperature had gone down. His bones had returned to a healthy white color everywhere except for his face, and he wasn’t sweating nearly as much. That probably meant you were absorbing his extra magic or whatever, but you couldn’t feel a thing.

You let Sans sleep in your bed with you that night. A heated blanket didn’t seem like it would help at all in this situation, so you skipped it. Sans was sleeping on top of all the covers, but when you woke up he was holding your hand. Smiling softly, you pulled yourself free and started getting ready for work. Before going out to your car, you gave the sleepy skeleton a little kiss on the cheek.

“I’m going to work. You can stay here today if you want.”

 

You tried to not worry while at work, but Sans had clearly gotten worse again by the time you returned home. Still, even though he was the wrong color and sweating miserably, he looked _so_ happy to see you that your heart leapt a little in your chest. Before you could even get close enough to hug him, he was purring, little heart-shaped eyelights floating in his sockets.

“I’m home.” You hung up your coat and pulled Sans into a gentle hug. “Did you have a nice day, Sans?”

His voice was set to that deep, rumbling pitch that did funny things to your insides--especially when you were holding him like this.

“This is the best part of it.”

 

Overall, you were pleasantly surprised by Sans’s heat. He was obviously full of affection for you, but he hadn’t turned into a sex fiend or anything like you’d been afraid of. Your physical presence really seemed enough to satisfy him, and he was still very respectful of your boundaries. There was only one thing that was a bit of a problem.

Seeing Sans like this, completely flushed and panting, looking at you with total adoration, and talking in the absolute sexiest version of his already sexy voice, _you_ were the one who was getting all pent-up. For the first three days, you ignored and suppressed it automatically, but on the fourth day, you hesitated. That moment of hesitation allowed you to acknowledge something incredibly important.

You felt a sexual attraction to him.

You woke up next to the little skeleton on the fifth morning, and you couldn’t even remember why you’d ever been afraid. Sans was _adorable_.

But you had to go to work. You thought it over good and hard when you were there, and the conclusion you reached was fairly simple. _I want it, and he wants it, so why shouldn’t I?_  Sans’s flushed bones and love-struck gaze when you returned home weren’t any kind of discouragement.

You hung up your coat and wrapped your arms around the little skeleton, planting a chaste kiss directly on his teeth. “I’m home.”

“Welcome back, babe.” It looked like his eyelights had forgotten how to be circles.

“Have you eaten today, Sans?”

“Magic supplements, but no food.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “It says right on the bottle you’re not supposed to do that! I’ll make us something real quick.”

Inside the fridge were leftovers from the previous night. You tossed them in the microwave and then split them into two portions. After dinner was a movie and some couch cuddling. You wrapped your arm around Sans's shoulders and he leaned into you.

Knowing he could feel everything right now, you traced his collarbone with your fingertips. Sans curled his toes and bunched up your shirt’s fabric in his hands. He let out a keening whine, and your insides clenched up tight. That was a new sound. A _good_ sound. How many more sounds could you get him to make?

You had stopped stroking while lost in thought, and Sans peered up at you with fuzzy round eyelights.

“Why’d you stop?” he panted.

You smiled wryly and kissed his forehead. “Sorry. Got a little distracted.”

You resumed tracing the smooth line of the bone. Sans’s breathing became uneven, but he couldn’t hold back that begging noise for long. The corner of your lips twitched up, and you dipped your fingertips under his shirt collar, feeling for his top rib. You felt a dull cracking sound resonate through the air and saw that Sans had opened his mouth. If he had a tongue, you were sure it would be hanging out with the needy way he was breathing.

There was enough space for you to slide your fingers inside his ribcage and curl them around the bone. You squeezed mischievously and he made a much more human-sounding whine. You wondered if it was just because he was in heat, or if he was always this fast to unravel. Either way, you were making Sans fall apart under your fingertips, and it was _wonderful_.

You turned your body a bit so your free hand could reach up under Sans’s shirt. Naturally, there was an empty space there, but you ignored it on your mission to find his bottom ribs. Sans gasped your name when you squeezed there too, all without releasing his top rib. In fact, your thumb up there was free, so it was currently rubbing small circles into the next rib down.

The lights were on and Sans was dressed, but you could still see the cyan light of his soul shining faintly. For some reason, the sight made your heart throb, motivating you to go further.

You turned your body more and leaned down to kiss Sans’s teeth. He couldn’t kiss you back, but he pressed his mouth a little firmer against yours so you knew he wanted it. He surprised you by teasing your lower lip with gentle bites, and you were overcome by the urge to shove your tongue into his mouth. It was nothing but pure darkness past his teeth, but that didn’t stop you.

The inside of Sans’s mouth was full of formless magic that made your nerves suddenly feel _very_ sensitive. And, although the magic didn’t have any shape, it apparently had some kind of presence to it. It played with your tongue, and you played back, and it was unexpectedly fun. You wanted to giggle, but you didn’t want Sans to think you were laughing at him.

Since Sans was made of bones and could still feel, you figured his teeth actually had sensation. Gambling on that, you sucked his top teeth between your lips and tongue and Sans moaned into your mouth. His arms tightened around your waist. You didn’t know how long they’d been there, or how long you’d been straddling his lap.

Unexpectedly, though, Sans pulled back, causing you to look down at him in confusion.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you want this?” Personally, neither you nor your throbbing sex wanted this to end just yet.

Sans shook his head and his voice came out deep and rough, “Babe, you have _no idea_ how badly I want this. But you’re going to regret getting me any more excited here. Magic stains are really hard to get out of couches.”

You tilted your head, brow furrowed, and he responded by freeing one of his hands and letting his beautiful blue soul float out of his chest. Strangely, it seemed to be leaking?

Wait… leaking? Realization dawned on you and you opened your eyes wide.

“So that’s how that works!” Your shocked expression was quickly replaced by something sultry, “In other words: you can orgasm.”

Sans’s skull turned a deeper shade of blue and he nodded. You kept an eye out for any signs that you shouldn’t, and stroked down the slick surface of the soul once with the tip of your finger. Sans screwed his eye sockets shut and shivered, and you briefly noticed the smell of ozone.

“Alright, let’s move to the bedroom.”

You got off of Sans’s lap and released your hold on his ribcage. His knees were weak when he stood up, and he clung to your shirt. You smirked and picked him up in a princess carry. He was a light little sack of bones, so why not?

Sans blushed and held his soul protectively until you set him down on the bed. You crawled over him and started to kiss him again energetically. He honestly wasn’t very comfortable to lie on top of: hard, and pokey in a few places. You felt something squirming between your chests and smirked, grabbing the soul tenderly and sitting up.

“R-remember to be careful with that,” Sans reminded you weakly. “S’kinda important.”

You cupped his cheek in your free hand and nodded, then dragged your tongue right over its slick surface. Sans gasped and bucked under you, toes curling and fingers grabbing at the sheets.

It tasted like rain, with a faint blueberry sweetness underneath. That sweet flavor lingered and made your head feel pleasantly fuzzy. Careful to keep your teeth away, you wrapped your lips around the point at the top and sucked gently. Your mouth was full of sweet blueberry rain and your nose was full of the smell of ozone. The different flavors were fighting to clear your head and clutter it in equal measure, and Sans’s desperate cry in your ears threatened to push you over some kind of edge.

You put your pointer finger at the bottom curve of the soul and slowly pushed it deeper, letting your lips stretch around the increasing thickness. When you couldn’t safely insert it more, you relaxed your hand and made your lips contract. Once it was free, you wrapped your fingers around it and pressed with the pads of your thumbs, rubbing in smooth circles.

If the writhing and moaning underneath you wasn’t enough indication that your skeleton babe was getting destroyed, the iridescent magic dripping between your fingers and down your arms was. Really though, everywhere that liquid magic touched was feeling ridiculously sensitive now. What would happen if you were to stick this thing--.

You gasped and held the soul tighter. Sans had bucked his hips into yours in the middle of your thought process. Dang it, you were barely holding it together as it was. This was going to come to a quick end if he brought any more attention to your crotch.

“Easy down there,” you gasped. “I’m trying to make this last a little.”

Sans frowned slightly and used your shoulders to pull himself up, burying his face into your neck and biting gently.

“Don’t only touch me there,” he complained and rolled his hips against you again.

“Ow! Don’t do that, your hips are sharp!”

You freed one of your hands to put something between his boney pelvis and you and somehow ended up stroking him. Sans pressed into your touch, moaning into your neck, and you rubbed harder. You couldn’t see which part of his pelvis you were even touching, but Sans was falling apart again, so you didn’t care.

You felt skeletal fingers reaching to unbutton your pants and instinctively rolled onto your back. There, uh, wasn’t any bed there.

Your heart leapt into your throat when you felt yourself falling too far, but there wasn’t any impact. Instead, you and Sans were surrounded by a blue haze and floating in mid-air. You were upside down, but your blood wasn’t rushing to your head or anything. It was like gravity didn’t exist anymore for you.

This adorable little sex goblin apparently caught you without even thinking about it, considering he hadn’t stopped planting pseudo-kisses and occasional nips on your neck.

The phrase “magical sex” popped into your head, and you doubted it was possible to get closer than this.

Sans’s fingers were touching your entrance now. The introduction of a foreign object alerted you to how ready you were down there. Sans obviously felt it too, and he purred into the side of your neck. You didn’t say anything but spread your legs wider for him.

He pushed one finger in easily and then worked in a second one. You sucked in a breath, wondering if you were losing your mind when his phalanges stroked deep inside of you.

“So long! How the hell?” You’d thought Sans’s fingers were shorter than yours, but they felt twice as long! You weren’t complaining, but you were confused.

Sans pulled his face away from your neck and grinned at you. He took the hand that had been stroking your waist and held it in front of your face. Winking, he spread the fingers wide all the way down to the little wrist bones and wiggled them as a show of dexterity.

“Magic hands,” he said, and you laughed.

You dragged your tongue over his soul again and felt him shudder and go slightly weak. You decided to call the biological feature war a tie.

Maybe it was because some of his excess magic had been drained, but Sans was getting progressively less passive. He was also steadily gaining confidence. He worked another finger inside of you, making you jolt and squeeze his soul harder. Sans gasped and went half-limp against you for a second.

“You may have me in the palm of your hand,” he laughed breathlessly, “but I’ve got you wrapped around my little finger.” He punctuated the joke by inserting a fourth finger.

You moaned and pressed your hips down on his hand. “You’re lucky that was a good one or I would be mad that you’re joking during this.”

He just grinned and increased the speed of his movements. You enjoyed the pleasure, and then the pleasure-pain, but you were starting to feel sort of raw. Without being able to help it, you hissed at a particularly rough thrust.

Sans stopped for a moment, whispering into the side of your face, “You okay, babe?”

“It’s a little rough,” you confessed. The texture of his joints had felt good at first, but it had been a while since you last did this, and it was quickly becoming too much.

Sans planted a skeleton kiss on your lips. Without another word, his phalanges suddenly felt smooth and cushioned inside of you. His motions went back to feeling pleasurable.

“Magic hands,” you chuckled, pushing your tongue between his teeth and giving his soul an approving rub. Your entire arm down to your elbow was dripping with magic from Sans’s soul, and your nose was filled with the smell of the sky after it rains.

You briefly worried about stains on your carpet but looked down and saw the bed beneath you. You’d drifted at some point.

Sans’s hand moved down from your waist and cupped your rear. You responded by teasing the base of his spine with your fingertips, which got a surprisingly good reaction. He shivered and leaned up against your chest, panting.

“Hey, I’m gonna finish this, alright?”

Before you could ask what he meant, you felt a hand grasp your other buttcheek. That made three hands total, which didn’t add up. Then you felt more invisible hands playing with your breasts, your waist, your neck and spine. In addition, Sans was using his thumb to play with your clit and pumping the rest of his fingers enthusiastically. You felt like you were melting with pleasure, but you at least had the presence of mind to return the favor, rubbing the most sensitive bones between his legs, kissing and sucking his teeth, rubbing your thumb in firm circles over his soul.

You watched the upside down blue heart shudder in your grasp and flash brightly, gushing a last stream of magic down your arm. It went dim after that, slipping out of your grasp and sinking back into Sans’s ribcage where it belonged.

Sans gave you a few more firm thrusts, and you lost it too; legs dripping and walls spasming. Slowly, he pulled his hand out of you, and you felt slightly damp sheets against your skin. The blue magic that had kept you in the air disappeared, and you felt heavy again, content to just lay on the bed next to Sans.

“Well, that was magical,” you chuckled, paying him back for earlier. A failed revenge plot, as Sans got a kick out of your joke.

“Does that mean you liked it?”

You nodded, “Yeah, I did. Did you?”

“Yeah.”

You turned your head to the side and saw little tears building up in his eye sockets.

“Hey, you okay, Sans?”

He laughed. “Sorry, heat’s got me all emotional. They’re happy tears, though.”

You pulled him closer and pretended not to notice him crying into your chest. You didn’t have anything against a guy crying after sex, especially with what it took to get you both here.

“I kept my promise,” you said quietly. He nodded and curled up a little tighter.

“Yeah," he sniffled. "And I'm so happy you did.”

You fell asleep like that.


	23. A Little Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which your previous interaction with Sans is internalized and evolves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We don’t really get into the smut in this chapter (it was getting too long! Sorry!) but it does get a bit steamy. :3
> 
> Please feed the author (comments).

Sans woke up briefly when you kissed him on the cheek before heading out to work, but he quickly fell asleep again. It wasn’t until it was almost lunchtime that he opened his eyes for real. At that point, he laid flat on his back and stared up at the ceiling.

_Was that… a dream?_

It, uh, wouldn’t be the first time Sans had dreamed about you, but this last one felt really real. Slowly, he lifted his skull and examined the sheets. Oh yeah, they were covered in faintly glowing cyan stains. Last night was real alright.

So you’d finally done it. And you’d liked it! Sans grinned brightly and dragged the nearest pillow into a hug. His soul was swelling with joy and pride. You’d liked it! See? Who needed a dick, or muscles, or lips, or whatever? He could make you feel good without any of those!

You had made him enjoy it too. For someone who’d never been with a monster before, you were really good at handling his soul. And unless you’d gotten tips from Papyrus without him knowing, you made some real good guesses when it came to where he wanted to be touched. But even Papyrus didn’t know about his teeth, so that was definitely all you.

Maybe he should have asked first, but you didn’t seem to mind at all when he bit you. Would you let him do it harder? Would you be willing to bite back or use your nails a little? Sans loved how soft and springy your human body was, but he could handle a lot _more_. Hell, he could take his own boney fingers—naturally _you_ could be just about as rough as you wanted with that silky skin, and he would be just fine.

Sans started to notice light shining out from under the pillow and took a few deep breaths to calm down. You had a whole day of work ahead of you, and he was getting way too into it all on his own. Last night was great, and maybe his heat wouldn’t be terrible today if he could keep himself under control.

Maybe you wouldn’t even want to do it tonight. It could get painful for human women, right? You might need a day or two to heal first. Of course, he’d tried to be gentle with you last night: cushioning his joints with blue magic, and even mixing a little green magic in to heal what damage he might have already done. But Sans wasn’t the best at green magic. He would be patient if you needed some time. You were worth waiting for, no matter how badly his bones burned for you.

 

***

 

You shouldn’t have gone to bed sticky. That was stupid, and now you felt awful. You rolled out of bed and stripped off your old clothes to take a quick shower, making sure to give Sans a little kiss goodbye before leaving for work.

You’d really gotten boned last night, huh? It had really happened, and you hadn’t been afraid or disgusted at any point during it. Sans was actually really good at knowing how to please a lady. You still couldn’t make sense of that last rush; how he seemed to be fondling you everywhere at once.

Long story short, there was a lot of magic involved. And, aside from some really basic stuff like softness and body heat (a consideration for after his heat was over), you really couldn’t pick out anything that a human would have been able to do better.

Chewing your bottom lip and wishing you didn’t have to, you turned away from the bed, grabbed your keys, and headed out to your car.

 

On your break, you called Chloe to tell her everything.

“Yellow?”

“Hey, babe. Do you have a minute?”

“For you, darling? I’ve got two. What’s up?”

You shifted your grip on your phone and took a deep breath. “Sans and I had sex last night.”

You heard the sound of something light, like a pen, clattering. “It wasn’t like last time?”

You shook your head automatically, “No.”

“And it was by choice?”

“Yeah. I’m the one who started it.”

“And you liked it?!”

A shy smile touched your lips. “It was great.”

There was squealing from the other end of the line. “Babe! Yes! It’s about damn time! Tell. Me. Everything!”

You launched into a play-by-play, and Chloe listened attentively. When you mentioned that souls seemed to substitute for genitalia (at least for skeletons), she cut in.

“There’s a joke in there somewhere about your boyfriend getting all wet for you, but I’m gonna let you keep talking.”

You snorted and went on, talking about what frenching a skeleton was like, how you discovered he liked biting, the different sounds he made, and so on.

“Actually, I accidentally fell off the bed near the beginning, but he caught us with magic. Basically, everything else happened while we were floating over the bed.”

“What the actual fuck? That’s fairy tale level sex.”

“I guess it made us even for when I carried him to the bed,” you chuckled.

“And you need to do that again somewhere where I can photograph it,” she said firmly. “So, I have to ask, were there any problems with, you know, your situations below the waists? Because he doesn’t have a dick?”

“Chloe, what was the point in being discreet if you were going to follow it up with something like that?”

“I’m sorry! I wanna know! I need to know if there were magic dicks involved!”

Wow. You hoped nobody had heard her saying that. If it was you, you’d die from embarrassment.

“He used his fingers. More like his entire hand, actually. I guess an advantage to not having skin is that there’s no palm in the way to stop you. Everything from the wrist up was fair game.”

“Sounds like you got destroyed,” Chloe said in awe. “I can’t believe you’re up and walking today. Does it hurt?”

You opened your mouth and suddenly paused, feeling things out internally. “Uh… no. I feel fine. His joints were starting to rub me wrong in the middle of it, so he used some kind of magic and it felt a lot smoother. Maybe that’s why?”

“So magic can even deal with the next-day soreness?” Chloe sighed long and loud from the other end of the phone. “I’m sorry, which idiots sealed these magic sex gods underground again?”

“Us, apparently.”

“Uh, no, sorry. Not the sex-addicted humanity I know and love.”

“I dunno, Chloe. Maybe things were different back then.”

“Who knows,” she sighed. “Look, I still want to hear more, but I have to get back to work. Fill me in at girls’ night tomorrow?”

Right, tomorrow was Friday. You’d lost track of time with everything going on.

“Let me get back to you on that. I need to make sure Sans is comfortable with having you over when he’s in heat. I can’t leave him alone more than I have to, or he might seriously fry.”

“Oh, dang. Well, let me know. I still wanna see you, even if I have to share.”

You smiled. “You’re awesome, babe. I’ll text you tonight.”

“Love ya! Later!”

“Later.”

With a sigh, you noticed that your break was almost up. You grabbed something to eat from the vending machines and resolved to pick up some takeout on the way home. Your stomach would be telling you how stupid you were by the end of your shift, and you knew you wouldn’t want to wait or cook.

 

Shifting the bag of Chinese takeout into one arm, you fished out your keys and unlocked the front door.

“I return with the spoils of war!” you called, dropping everything onto the kitchen table.

A pair of boney arms wrapped around you from behind and you jumped slightly. There was a startled “sorry,” and the limbs started to pull back, but you held them in place with your own hands.

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m fine. I was just surprised. You don’t usually sneak up on me like this.”

There was a pause and then strong purring. Sans rested his head against your back, and you let him stay like that for a minute. He was feeling feverishly warm again already, and you were sure he needed to cool off. Dinner could wait thirty seconds.

“You’re really not afraid anymore,” you heard him whisper happily.

“Were you testing me?” you smirked.

“A little.”

Oh. You were a little surprised he would do something like that… and then admit he did it.

“It’s not like I thought you were faking,” he continued. “I just couldn’t believe it.”

He went back to purring, and you chuckled.

“Alright, I kinda skipped lunch, so mind letting me serve this out?”

He let go, and you got out some bowls to scoop the Chinese noodles and rice into.

“You aren’t sweating as much today,” you noticed, sitting across from Sans at the table. “Did last night help?”

“Uh, yeah. It helped. But, like, no pressure y’know? We don’t have to do it again if you don’t want to.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to do it again? I told you I liked it.”

“I don’t know. I heard humans get sore or something?”

You frowned. “Normally I would be, but I’m not. I thought that was because you used magic or something. Didn’t you?”

“I did, but I wasn’t sure if it would be enough.”

You hummed. “I feel fine, Sans. I’d like to do it again tonight.”

He blushed and nodded, twirling some noodles with his fork. “This time, should I use the blue and green magic on my hand right away? It sounded like it hurt you without that.”

You blushed back but kept your chin held high. “I liked the rough texture at first, I just couldn’t take it for long. Do you mind waiting until I ask you to smooth it out?”

“Of course not. Whatever you want.”

You smirked, and he noticed, but you dragged out your moments before speaking by taking a drink. “You know how I am, Sans. You don’t get to say “whatever you want” like this is a one-sided deal. What do _you_ want?”

“Well, I want you to like it,” he said. You kept staring directly into his eye sockets, and he fidgeted, continuing in a much smaller voice. “I mean that, but there are a few other things, I guess.”

You nodded. “Papyrus told me that it won’t be good for either of us if one of us isn’t enjoying it, so I’ll make sure to keep myself in mind.” You leaned in and put your chin in your free hand. “But I want to hear about these other things. Seems like you have something in mind?”

“First, can I just make sure about something?”

You raised your eyebrows, “Shoot.”

“Were you okay with me biting you?”

You thought back to last night. Sans’s playbites hadn’t hurt at all. You definitely didn’t dislike them.

“It wasn’t weird, if that’s what you mean. Kinky, I guess, but not weird. Didn’t hurt either.”

Sans took a deep breath and was somehow able to hold eye contact with you. “Can I do it harder?”

You were honestly surprised by the little shudder that ran through your core; it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. You considered it.

“As long as you don’t break the skin, we can give it a shot.” He sighed in relief, and you shoveled the rest of your rice into your mouth. “Anything else? You said there were a few things, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah…” He tapped his fork on the rim of his plate. “I feel weird being the only one talking, though. Is there anything else you wanted? Maybe we can take turns.”

You almost laughed. “Aw, are you shy about seeming too kinky? Alright, let me think.”

If you could ask Sans to do anything in bed… where would you start?

“Could you maybe talk more while we’re doing it? Or, if you can’t manage words, just be louder?”

Sans actually smiled a little. “Sure, that’s easy.”

“Okay, now your turn.”

He still looked nervous, but some of his confidence was back now that you were both putting your desires on the table. “You could be rougher,” he stated. “I mean, be gentle with my soul, but my body can take more. Use your teeth and nails and stuff.”

You nodded slowly. “I can try. But if we’re going to be doing more rough stuff, I want a safe word.”

“Oh, uh, okay. Got one in mind?”

“I’ll forget something weird, so… time out?”

He shrugged. “Simple and easy. I don’t think we’ll need it, but sure. It’s your turn again.”

“Let’s see,” you tapped your chin and examined the ceiling. “Oh. It wouldn’t be, like, disrespectful or something if I put your soul between my legs, would it? That liquid stuff was making my arm really sensitive, and I was curious how it would feel down there.”

“I wouldn’t mind, but it’s not exactly the right shape, and there are better things to do with a soul. I could cover my hand in that magic though. That might be easier.”

You nodded; that was fine. It wasn’t the soul part you were focused on, anyway, but the aphrodisiac part.

“That sounds good.”

“Speaking of souls, could we use yours too?”

“Really? That stuff works with human souls?”

“I have no idea.”

_Fair enough._

“Fine by me. Wanna watch a show first?”

He grinned lazily, “Why break from tradition, right? TV first, then sex.”

 

The episode ended, and you turned off the television before the ads could start to play.

Without a word, you turned to the side and draped your arms over Sans’s shoulders, planting a soft kiss on his teeth. The gesture gradually evolved as each of you pushed deeper into each other. Sans bit your lip, you teased his teeth with your tongue. Pretty soon you were raking your fingers down his spine and he was combing his phalanges through your hair, insistently holding you close to him.

You pulled your tongue back and panted against his mouth, staring into heart-shaped eyelights. Sans slid his hand forward and rubbed his boney thumb over your flushed cheek.

“Bedroom?” he asked.

“Bedroom.”

You went into your room to find the sheets washed and bed made. Sans really must have felt better today if he could do chores. “Aw, nice job,” you pecked him on the cheekbone. “Let’s mess it up.”

You both took your clothes off from the start this time so you wouldn’t have to work around them. Once on the bed, you quickly pinned Sans under you to pick up where you’d left off. Since he obviously liked it when you teased his teeth with your tongue, you kept doing it. Every time a low-pitched moan vibrated into your body, you felt your crotch throb in need.

You separated for a moment to get some air, and Sans took the chance to pull his shining soul out of his ribcage.

“Oh, right. How do I take mine out again?”

“I don’t think humans can do that on their own,” he said uncertainly. “I don’t really want to do this in an encounter, either.”

“What’s wrong with using an encounter?”

“It’s like an altered state of consciousness. You perceive your soul, but it isn’t actually out in the open with you. Sex by proxy like that is about the same as phone sex; still sexy, but not good enough when I’ve got the real thing in front of me.”

”Do you know how to take it out without starting an encounter?”

”Not exactly, but I think I know enough to manage.”

“We should have thought this through more,” you gave a breathy laugh.

Sans gave you a lopsided grin and pressed his hand over your heart. “I’m gonna try calling it out. You just, uh, relax, I guess.”

Aside from Sans’s usual glowing, you couldn’t really see anything happening. He was wearing a very focused expression, though. Just when you were starting to think nothing was going to happen, you felt a sudden lurch in your chest. Remembering what was going on, you reminded yourself to relax and let it happen. After two more unsettling tugs, a tiny heart-shaped sun popped out of your chest, literally lighting up the whole room.

“Whoa.”

 

***

 

You both stared at it for longer than you meant to.

That thing was really a soul? It was hard to believe. Without being buried in all the matter of your body, the unbridled magical power was overwhelming. Sans may as well have been standing in front of the sun. From the bright glow, to the thick smell of lilacs and honey, to his more abstract magical senses, he was drowning in _you_.

Stars, he hadn’t even _touched_ it yet and he could already feel your magic curling around him in waves. Constantly ringing out into the world, but too loud to hear any response. It was _otherworldly_ beautiful. _You_ were beautiful.

Sans was holding his own soul tightly: the only splotch of gentle cyan in a room filled with roaring yellow. It practically buzzed in his hands, trying to match your thunderous soul pulse.

“Sans? You good?” Sans heard you say his name and felt your hand on his chin. He managed to drag his eyelights away from the core of your being and take in a deep, shuddering breath. Oops, he had stopped breathing for a minute there.

“I’m… yeah. I’m good. It’s just… _wow_.”

“Is it too much? We don’t have to use it.”

Too much? _Too much?_ Well, almost. Although your soul was stunning, it could completely shatter his if you so much as wanted to. But as long as you wanted him safe, he would be.

Sans occasionally wondered if he was crazy for wanting to date humans when _this_ was what they were at their center. Not an inconsiderable number of monsters would be scared away by such a deadly, alien soul.

But you were just _so perfect._

“Oh, babe, _please_ let me use it. That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my _life_.”

You raised your eyebrows, and an uncertain smile touched your lips. “Really?” With complete ease, you plucked the magical equivalent of a nuclear power plant out of the air and turned it over curiously. “It’s pretty, I guess, but I wouldn’t call it sexy.”

Was it tragic or adorable how oblivious you were? Well, he could never blame you for it. Humans just had too much matter in their bodies to properly sense magic. No matter how much more magic you had than him, you would never be able to so much as summon a bullet pattern. All power and absolutely no control, like a ~~very fuckable~~  wild beast.

But you were gentle in your ignorance. Sans could feel it clearly, the only intentions you had right now were centered on pleasure and intimacy. Your soul was responding to those instincts, and its presence was as comforting and stimulating as it was suffocating.

“It smells nice,” you mentioned, bringing it close to your nose. “Different from yours, too. Does every soul smell differently?”

Sans chuckled. “You can smell that, huh? Congratulations, you’re in the thirty percent of humans who can. It’s unique in the way snowflakes and fingerprints are unique: they’re mostly all different, but every now and then a few are the same. And, just to be clear, you’re smelling your magic, not your soul. Every time I make something float, it smells like my magic, you just don’t notice.”

A tentatively proud smile tugged at your lips. ~~He wanted to bite them.~~  “Does that mean I always smell like lilacs and honey to you?”

He grinned playfully at you. “It means I could pick out which towel you used in my bathroom for _months_ after you showered there.”

“Then wash it!” you giggled. “Jeez, Sans, do your laundry!”

“I did. Magic doesn’t really wash out with water and soap, y’know?” Well, he could make your smell go away with cleaning magic if he really wanted to, but why would he want to? “More importantly, you’re holding that all wrong.”

You looked down at your soul with wide eyes. “I am?”

“Yeah, lemme show you.”

You placed your soul in his open palm, and Sans smiled seductively, pressing his thumb into its center. The simple motion carried his intention to make you feel _deeply_ pleasant sensations. You moaned, and he caught you from falling forward against him.

“And just in case you haven’t figured out how to read a skeleton yet, this face means you’re gonna have a good time.”


	24. I’ve Held Your Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which you and Sans are finally totally comfortable with each other. And also some other characters get a little screen time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was not supposed to take this long. Sorry, guys, SO much has happened since the last chapter. Like, holy crap! It hasn’t really cleared up either, but I’m steadily chipping away at these chapters. Enjoy!
> 
> (Feed the author comments; she might do a trick for you. She knows sit, roll over, play dead, and sarcasm. Maybe a few others too. Go on, she doesn’t bite.)

The moment Sans pressed into your soul, your head filled up with the color pink. You didn’t even realize you were falling until he caught you. He fixed smoldering eyelights on you and made a promise that made you shiver in anticipation.

Almost deliriously, you leaned in for a kiss, exhaling hot puffs of air against pristine white bone. Sans closed his eyes and leaned into you, playing with your curious tongue as it explored inside of him. He gave your soul another calculated rub, and your whole body screamed in delight. You threw yourself on top of him, pinning his slight body to the bed, and reached eagerly between his legs.

Sans gasped against your lips. He stroked delicate circles on the surface of your soul that left a steady buzz of pleasure behind. While you were being compliant, the magic in his mouth pushed your tongue out so he could talk.

“Lower?” he breathed.

You nodded and moved your fingers down a bit. And, since your tongue had been evicted, you trailed kisses down his chin and found your way to his neck. It turned out to be a good decision; working your tongue between the vertebrae got some really nice moans out of him.

“F-fuck, (y/n). Just a little more, j-just a little harder, okay?”

Never in your life would you have imagined it would feel so good to have someone begging underneath you, but in this context, you couldn’t get enough.

You complied immediately, putting more force into your hand and tongue. For good measure, you let your teeth gently rake over his neck. God, you loved the way your name sounded when he said it in the middle of falling apart. Maybe he was intentionally being louder because you’d asked him to, or maybe it just felt that good? Either way, it egged you on.

“O-okay. I’m ready now.”

Curious what he was talking about, you took your lips off his vertebrae in time to see blue magic wrap around the both of you, lifting you a few inches into the air. Now that you no longer needed your free hand to prop you up, Sans pressed his dripping cyan soul into it. You noticed that his phalanges were sopping wet, and your walls clenched in anticipation.

You shuffled your hips open, and Sans gave you a charming wink, looking energetic despite already being halfway-destroyed himself. You were so ready to take him in again, but to your dismay, he decided to tease you. Sans traced around your opening, spreading the hot, liquid magic liberally. You could feel everything and you wanted to feel  _ more _ , but he was making you wait for it.

Sans grinned when you whimpered at him to go deeper. “Sorry, babe, can’t hear you. I don’t have ears.”

You pouted and lapped his soul deeply with your tongue. Your fingers dug into the edges with controlled force, and you rubbed the whole length of it. You were at the very edge between gentle and rough.

Sans’s breath hitched and he shot you a haggard look. His eyelights flickered, and he was sweating a lot, but he was still grinning blissfully, and his soul was hot and pouring magic.

“Heard that loud and clear.”

One phalange at a time, he reached into you; filling you up, stretching you out for more. Your body naturally hugged every joint, and his thrusts sent waves of electricity into the core of your body. It was more intense than last time, thanks to the liquid magic. You fully expected to overdo it if it was this intoxicating, but Sans could always heal you later.

In return for his lavished attention, you rubbed him roughly, not shying back from using your nails at all. You’d once thought his bones looked delicate, but he was louder and his soul felt hotter when you treated him roughly. Clearly, Sans wasn’t going to break easily. 

You wished you had enough hands to do what he did to you at the end of your last party, but you had one hand on his soul and the other caressing his pubic arch and symphysis. You could put his soul in your mouth again, but you wanted to do other things with your lips and tongue.

… Oh.

In a moment of brilliance, you rolled yourself in the air and Sans along with you, so that you were both upside down. Then you placed his soul between your thighs and squeezed it there. You couldn’t imagine why the liquid magic leaking from that magical organ dripped down when your blood didn’t rush to your head, but it was pooling around your crotch and Sans’s hand, and that was exactly what you wanted. 

Two hands, more magic aphrodisiac, a mouth to put wherever you pleased… and Sans flushing and gasping harder every time you pressed your thighs together or shuffled them. This was a good situation to be in, and it wasn’t long until you'd both had as much as you could take.

The blue magic deposited you safely onto a nest of sheets, and Sans returned your soul to you. Curiously, you noticed that it wasn’t even damp despite all the pleasant touches. At a glance, Sans’s soul was just a dimmer, upside down version of yours, but maybe the structural differences went deeper than you realized.

You pressed the brightly glowing heart to your chest and relaxed yourself, hoping to push it back inside, but it wouldn’t go. 

“Um, help?”

Sans smiled tiredly and put his hand on top of yours. You watched your soul be wrapped in a very thin blue light. Sans prompted you to push again, and your soul phased through your body, back to where it belonged. You immediately felt more at ease, and the room was suddenly much darker. The only things producing light now were Sans’s eyes.

“Well, I’m going to be smart and clean up a little before going to sleep.” You kissed him on the forehead and pulled back the covers for him to get in. 

“Aren’t you worried I’ll cuddle you in my sleep again?” His smile was bright because he clearly knew you weren’t.

“Har har. Of course I don’t mind. Now get to sleep, funnybones, I’ll be there in a minute.”

You took a quick shower and dried your hair until it at least wasn’t uncomfortably wet, then you joined Sans under the covers. He actually had fallen asleep in the time it took you to do all that, but he woke up again when you wrapped your arms around him.

“Oh so I’m the little spoon,” he murmured in a rough, sleepy voice, “what a scoop.”

You laughed, but you were having a hard time settling. Cuddling a skeleton wasn’t easy. There were too many pokey bits and hollow spaces, and from the back, you had to work around the protrusions on his spine.

“You know, you’re not very comfortable,” you complained.

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Whatever.” You let go of him and rolled over. “I changed my mind. You be big spoon.”

Sans rolled over too and wrapped his arms around you. It was still a little uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad, and it felt nice to be held. Sans’s slow, shallow breaths on the back of your neck threatened to lull you to sleep, but you wanted to say a few things before that.

“Hey, Sans?”

“Hmm?”

“It felt really good, okay?”

He purred briefly into the back of your neck. “Mm, good. But why does it sound like you’re apologizing for something?”

“I just didn’t want you to think I wasn’t enjoying it, since my soul didn’t start dripping like yours does.”

He pressed his smile onto your skin. You weren’t sure if it was supposed to be a kiss, or if he was just snuggling. 

“You’re adorable. Thanks for telling me, but I was expecting a few things to be different. And I’m good at reading souls, remember? I could tell you liked it.” He yawned, “Besides, if your soul leaked magic like mine does, it would just sit around your body and turn toxic.”

“Magic can go bad?”

“Mm, kinda?” he tilted his head. “It’s more like how water can go bad if it’s left sitting in a stagnant pool. Magic needs to either be kept in a safe container like a soul, or circulate freely outside.”

“But monster food never expires, right?”

“Monster food is mostly magic. The composition might be fixed, but the magic can actually flow in and out however it wants. There isn’t enough matter in the way to stop it.” Another yawn. “That’s pretty much how my body works too. Any more questions, or can I go to sleep?”

“Go to sleep, Sans. I’ll bother you more later.”

 

***

 

Alphys yawned long and loud and took another sip of her morning coffee, dragging her mew mew kissy cutie slippers across the floor. The electronic doors to her lab slid open with the use of her keycard, and she was surprised to hear clanging sounds coming from inside.

Swallowing nervously, she flicked the light switch on with a scaled yellow claw and scanned the room. She and Sans were the only people with keycards to get in here, and he and Gaster could teleport anywhere, so it could be that either of them had felt like some early morning (or very, very late night) tinkering. 

“H-hello? Sans? Gaster?”

“Good morning, Alphys.” A puddle of black ink appeared at her feet, and the skittish doctor let out a small shriek.

“W-what are you doing in the lab s-so early?”

“I was getting a little bored at home. I find that I don’t need much sleep now that I have so much determination.”

“O-oh, really? I’ll make a n-note of that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I should be reporting these things to you.”

“N-no! You’re not a t-test subject, Dr. Gaster! D-don’t apologize.”

“Well, the information might help people someday. Or myself, if my situation doesn’t stay stable.”

Alphys twiddled her thumbs, unwillingly remembering all the ways determination injections could go wrong and feeling guilty about the whole thing. This time she had managed to help someone, but the amalgamates had seemed fine for a few days before melting together.

“Alphys, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a look at any information you have on souls, human and monster.”

“H-huh? You want to study souls? I-it’s not really your field, Gaster.”

“What’s wrong with picking up something new?” he smiled sweetly.

“W-well, alright. But what’s with the sudden i-interest?”

Gaster frowned slightly, but quickly plastered a gentle smile back on his malleable face. “You’re aware by now that both my sons are dating humans?”

“Y-yes. I m-mean, Sans is pretty obvious, but I thought for a while that Papyrus could g-go either way—O-oh, uh, I m-mean… Th-there’s, uh, nothing inherently unsafe about soul sex with a h-human, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Oh, no, Alphys. I trust my boys to be safe and responsible. They managed for such a long time on their own, after all.”

“Ah, well, y-yes. What is it then?”

“I want grandkids.”

The lizard monster clutched her morning coffee tighter, pity stabbing her soul.

“G-Gaster… that’s impossible.”

“Nonsense, Alphys. I only hope I can complete a workable procedure while their mates-to-be are still alive.” 

Gaster was an eccentric alright. Before Alphys could decide whether she thought it was sweet or just sad, he changed the subject entirely.

“Oh yes, I fixed that old DT Extractor while you were out.”

“You did?! I-I’ve been struggling with that for years!”

“Well, it was my invention after all.”

“What is it for? I-I never did understand. It looks so ominous.”

The goopy skeleton rolled his eyelights around like he was searching for what to say.

“It was to reduce the determination of dangerous humans. During the war, monsters were utterly crushed, and we didn’t kill a single human. That’s because a human with enough determination can travel through time until achieving the result they desire. Without that, well, we won the first war against them, but someone turned back the clock. They just do it over and over until they learn your every move. Oh! I’m rambling. Sorry.”

“N-no, uh… are there any humans like that now? W-with enough determination to turn back time?”

“Yes, a few. Though, the magic on the surface is thin these days. There aren’t any points in spacetime where they can leave a marker to return to. Without a that, going back is impossible.”

“Th-that’s a relief.”

“Quite. Now then, Papyrus will be waking up soon. I’m going to see if he’d like any help making breakfast.”

“A-alright! It was good to see you. I’ll have that s-soul data gathered by the end of the week.”

The puddle that was Gaster shimmered like mist and was gone. He was strange man. A very nice man, but a strange one.  _ Being alone for so long might have something to do with it _ , Alphys thought and went about starting her work for the day.

 

***

 

Sans’s heat ended on Friday a little before noon. After coming home from your half-day at work, you were surprised to find him looking perfectly normal. He was even in the kitchen, sliding a frozen pizza into the oven. Though he didn’t have the same drowning-in-love kind of look as before, there was still obvious affection and tenderness in those floating lights when he welcomed you back.

“Uh, hey. You look better.” 

“I feel better,” he said, setting a timer before coming over for a hug. You took the chance to feel his forehead just to be sure, but he was back to room temperature. 

The little skeleton pressed up to your chest chuckled, peering up at you with a wry smile. “I told you it would end faster if we did that.”

You smiled and nodded, then leaned down a little so your mouth was where an ear would have been. “Will you still be in the mood to play around tonight?”

Boney fingers stroked your cheek and gently turned your head, then a set of pearly white teeth pressed your lips. “Literally  _ any _ time, babe.”

Floaty chuckles slipped past your lips, and you pulled back, holding a finger against his teeth in almost a shushing motion. “Chloe will be here soon.” He pulled back and grinned up at you, and the corners of your lips twitched a little wider. “But I’ll keep that in mind.”

Your best gal arrived with all the enthusiasm you’d come to expect from her. She greeted you with a hug and sweet words, then demanded to know where the pizza was at because she was  _ starving _ and she could  _ smell it _ .

“It’s in the kitchen,” you laughed. “It’ll be done in another minute or two.”

“Awesomesauce.” She nodded firmly, then leaned in to whisper, “How’s your skelebabe? Is he doing okay?”

“Oh, he’s fine. His heat actually ended a few hours ago. He’s picking something out on Netflix right now.”

“Aw dang. Did I miss anything interesting?”

You rolled your eyes and brought her into the living room. Sans was leaned against one of the armrests. He’d lost a slipper but couldn’t be bothered to pick it up. The way he propped his head up and flipped through the shows had reached practiced levels of laziness. 

He made room when you and Chloe moved to join him.

“Anything good?” you asked.

“I made a list,” he shrugged, switching tabs to show your listed videos. He’d gathered a couple in the time he’d been searching. Chloe pointed at one in particular. 

“I’ve been meaning to watch that one.”

Sans pulled up the description, and you agreed that it sounded interesting. It was another one of those urban fantasy superhero shows. Sans nodded and moved the selection over to a poorly rendered animated thumbnail. 

“Alright, alternate proposal.”

You straight-up chortled, “You’re kidding.”

He grinned and tipped his head at you. “It’s supposed to be the worst movie on all of Netflix. We can make fun of it.”

Chloe laughed. “I’m down.”

It did sound fun in a weird way. “Alright, but we’ll watch something not-terrible after.”

Holy crap was it bad. The intro was seven minutes of watching slow credits and animated waves— but you actually  _ missed _ that when it was gone because the water was the only thing in the movie that looked halfway decent. The people and creatures were hideous and didn’t move right, and it didn’t help that their lips never synced with what they were saying. It also didn’t help that they were speaking another language and the translations at the bottom felt suspect.

Somehow, it was actually great tearing into a film like that; like you were on the cast of mystery science theater or something. Damn, that show was old now. You were old.

Anyway, after the garbage movie, you moved on to the superhero show, and it was actually really good. It was time to make dinner before you knew it.

“ _ Please _ can we have monster food?” Chloe begged. “I’ve only ever had snacks. When I tried to cook it myself, it caught fire. I don’t even know how it happened!”

You looked at Sans. “I dunno. Do you mind cooking?”

“Yeah, fine. I’ve been eating too much human food lately anyway.”

Sans happened to have everything he needed for burgers back at his place. He brought the ingredients back, cooked for everybody, and even gave Chloe some tips about how to cook monster food. Though, she was practically leaning over his shoulder, so it was more like answering silent questions than volunteering information. 

“You’re kidding. It caught fire because I was too  _ excited _ ?”

“Yep.”

Chloe moaned, “I don’t understand!”

“Alright, you understand that human food goes through chemical reactions when it cooks?”

“Of course.”

“Monster food goes through magical reactions. It reacts to the magic of the person cooking it; who they are and how they’re feeling. Since you’re a human, your intentions are extra strong, and you’ll have to be extra careful.” He shrugged and shot her a lazy grin. “Make sense?”

“My dream of being a monster food chef is ruined.”

Chloe fell in love with Sans’s burgers just like you did, and she left after another hour or so of just hanging out and talking.

Your heart started to race the moment you closed the front door and realized you two were alone again. Sans slipped his phalanges into your hold and gave a little squeeze.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I don’t know,” you laughed. “Is it going to be a lot different now? Will you still like it as much? Stuff like that, I guess.”

“Because I’m not in heat anymore?” You nodded at him. “Well, it’ll be a little different, I guess. Do you want the clinical explanation first?”

“How about an abridged version? I don’t wanna kill the mood.”

“There is no ‘mood’ if you’re nervous.” He walked you back to the couch and sat you down next to him “The short version, huh? I don’t have as much magic to waste. So, sorry, but no flying. Also, it’ll be a little less messy. But it’ll last longer, so there’s that. I think those are the main things?” 

“You also aren’t warm anymore,” you pouted.

“Yeah, well,” he put on a comedy act on Netflix and snuggled up to you, “you work on relaxing, and I’ll see if I can’t leech some of your body heat.”

You smiled and wrapped your arms around him, resting your cheek on the top of his head. “Yeah, okay.”

You kinda fell asleep like that, and so did Sans, so nothing really happened that night. But it was a really nice night anyway. You wouldn’t change it.


	25. Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which Sans has a checkup, Gaster moves some boxes, and you chat with the Great Papyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. I finished finals and moved into a new apartment. The job hunt starts tomorrow. Life is _nuts_ , but I somehow wrote a chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> (Comments are such a joy to read. Consider leaving one?)

It was the first week of February, and that was when Sans’s yearly appointment was scheduled. Monsters as a species didn’t suffer from many illnesses, but most of them made a habit of seeking preventative care. He himself would rather just skip it, but as one of the few “at risk” monsters, he didn’t really get a say in the matter.

There weren’t a lot of doctors qualified to do a full monster checkup, and certainly none in the city where you and Sans lived, so he had taken a few days off to take a train down, get himself looked at, and visit Papyrus.

A little bell chimed when the skeleton pushed open the glass door. The receptionist behind the counter was a monster with a well-manicured hand for a head.

“Please take a seat. The doctor will be with you in a moment.”

She wasn’t much for small talk.

 _Sure thing, ma’am,_ he grinned and signed. The monster wagged her giant index finger at him.

“Sans, you know I don’t speak hands.”

“I know. It’s hilarious.”

He obediently took a seat after that. Within a few minutes, an orange fish in a white lab coat walked in on two fins.

“Good to see you again, Sans. Why don’t you follow me back for a minute?”

“Sure thing, doc.”

He followed the fish monster down the hall and into a small room with tan walls and paintings of flowers hung on the walls. There was only space for a cushioned table, some big machine covered in lights, and a counter pressed up against the wall.

While Sans automatically climbed up onto the table, the doctor started his casual interrogation. “How have you been feeling lately, Sans?”

“Honestly? Good. Happy.”

“Really?” The fish monster set his clipboard down on the counter and started placing magic sensors connected to the machine over Sans’s ribcage. “Has anything in your life changed for the better since the last time we talked?”

“Uh, kinda. I got a girlfriend.”

“Oh, really? Congratulations.” The walking goldfish tapped a few buttons on the apparatus and took a look at the various outputs. “When was your last depressive episode?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe four or five months?”

“That’s good to hear. They were quite frequent before, weren’t they?”

The machine gave two beeps, signaling that it was done recording.

“Oh, also my dad came back into my life. He disappeared way back when I was a kid because of an accident. I guess a lot of things are going good right now.”

“Well, I’ve got more good news for you,” the doctor smiled. “Your magic production is up seven percent. Have you started exercising lately?”

“Me?” Sans laughed. “Uh, no. No exercise.”

“No? Well… you mentioned a girlfriend. How’s your sex life?”

Sans grasped the nature of the question and blushed. “Uh, yeah, it’s good. There’s been… a lot of that lately.”

“That would explain it then. And as for your improved mood… hm. Does your girlfriend have a faster soul pulse than you do, by any chance?”

 _That’s an understatement._ “Yeah, by a lot.”

“There’s been some research lately that syncing with a faster soul pulse might make monsters more enthusiastic, and syncing with a slower soul pulse might help them relax. Has your girlfriend expressed any changes since you started dating?”

Sans almost said no without even thinking about it. After all, you were a human, and you didn’t seem to be able to change your soul pulse. But you _had_ relaxed... in the sense that you were no longer afraid of him.

“I don’t think so,” was what he settled on.

“No? Well, every relationship is different.” The doctor removed the magic sensors and set them aside, picking up an instrument that appeared about as sophisticated as a pen light. “Now then, please open your mouth for me.”

Sans complied, and the doctor pointed the light at his teeth and the pitch black magic inside. Sans’s magic reacted to the light by glowing faintly blue, and the fish monster checked carefully for any thin patches. He found one and frowned, making a note on his clipboard.

“You’re eating through your own mouth a little. Approximately how many magic supplements do you go through in a week?”

“In a week?” Sans rolled his lights around in his eye sockets. “Um, ten? Thirteen?”

The doctor’s side-facing eyes bugged out. “That many? In that case, you’re being quite responsible with them. Still, I recommend you see a dentist to get that patched up, and avoid human food in the meantime.”

“That’s kinda hard, you know?” Sans rubbed the back of his head, and the fish monster sighed.

“I suppose it would be, living in a predominantly human area. Well, just do your best.”

The doctor jotted down a few more things and tore a slip of paper off of his clipboard. It contained the date of their next appointment and a series of boxes, all checked “satisfactory,” plus a note at the bottom suggesting a visit to the dentist.

“You should be good to go. Don’t forget, if anything comes up, call me and we can schedule an earlier appointment. Otherwise, I’ll see you next year.”

“Thanks doc,” Sans stuffed the note into his hoodie pocket. “Be seeing you.”

 

***

 

You couldn’t pinpoint when you had started spending so much of your free time with Sans, but it felt uncomfortably quiet for the few days he was out of town. In order to fill the void, you accepted an invitation from Chloe and her friend Ren to go drinking. It didn’t really make the lonely feelings stop, but it was nice to get together again.

You would have liked to see Anna, Karen, and the others, but they didn’t live close enough to have an impromptu night on the town.

You didn’t go overboard with your drinking. You were usually pretty careful; monster alcohol was the exception.

On the second day, you decided not to be hungover when your skelebabe returned, so you hushed your anxiety by cleaning your apartment.

It felt so much better—so _right_ —when he came back.

“How was your doctor’s visit?” you asked, releasing him from a long hug.

“Not so good,” the thick seriousness in Sans’s voice made it obviously fake. “All of my internal organs are failing. Which is weird, because I don’t have any. I think I accidentally went to a human hospital.”

You laughed. “I don’t think a human hospital would even attempt to examine a magic skeleton. So it went well?”

He flashed the slightly crumpled slip. “Yep. Almost perfect.”

You took it to look at and tilted your head at the note at the bottom. “A dentist? Did you get a cavity?”

“Nah, monsters don’t get those.”

“Your teeth look perfect to me though.”

Sans blushed just a little and smiled brightly. “Heh. Thanks. That’s, uh, actually a real nice thing to say to a skeleton.”

“Oh! Well, you’re welcome.” You handed the slip of paper back. “So why do you need to go to the dentist?”

“Did I ever tell you how my magic supplements work?”

You chewed your lower lip. “If I remember right, they make the magic in your mouth stronger so it can dissolve human food?”

“And they give me the energy I would normally get from monster food. Dissolving the human food produces taste, but no substance. There’s almost no magic in it. Anyway, if I don’t eat enough to use up the acidic effect of the supplements, it can damage my mouth. I guess I came close to tearing a hole somewhere, so the doc said to stay away from human food until I get it fixed.”

You winced. “That sucks. Does it hurt?”

Sans shook his head. “Nope. It’s not like you could feel your tongue hurting if it got removed, right?”

“Actually, some people can. It’s called phantom pain.”

His eye sockets went wide. “Are you serious? That’s crazy.”

“It is,” you nodded. “I don’t really know how it works, to be honest.”

“Yeah, uh, magic can’t explain that, and I’m no biologist, so I don’t have a clue.”

Feeling cuddle-deprived lately, you pulled Sans over to the couch for a few minutes of snuggling. In his absence, you’d forgotten how hard it was to actually cuddle with a skeleton, and you were quickly reminded by some pokey bits jabbing at your internal organs. Determined, you just repositioned yourself, and the proper techniques came flooding back to the forefront of your mind.

“I missed you,” you mumbled, pressing your lips against his skull.

Sans blushed and combed his fingers through your hair. “I missed you too, babe.”

It didn’t last anywhere near long enough. Dinnertime approached rapidly, and your traitorous stomach started making sounds of complaint, prompting Sans to get up and cook.

Since he was supposed to stay away from human food for a few days, you got to eat Sans’s amazing burgers again that night. They were still one of your favorite meals, and you didn’t imagine that changing anytime soon.

 

A few weeks went by. In the meantime, Sans had taken another trip to Ebott to visit a monster dentist. Both before and after that trip, the two of you spent a lot of time together. You must have reached the lovestruck phase of your relationship because every moment of that time felt wonderful.

But it occurred to you that the only reason you were separating lately was to go to work or to sleep. And that second point… only applied some of the time. It was pretty rare, actually. From your place, Sans could teleport directly into his bedroom five minutes away, so there was really no inconvenience if he stayed the night.

And so, with some intense butterflies in your stomach, but a chest full of purpose, you asked him if he would want to just move in with you. And he said yes.

Sans still had one more month on his lease, but you both made enough money and lived well within your means, so he decided to just move in with you and keep paying for his old place for the last month without using it. You’d only had to wait a few days to add him to your lease as a co-tenant.

So, today was moving day, and magic made the process ridiculously easy.

A black pool materialized in the middle of your living room carpet, and a familiarly inconstant dark figure sprung up out of it. He rotated one-hundred eighty degrees before spotting you and nodded at the floor nearby.

“Is here alright, (y/n)?”

“That’s fine. Thanks, Gaster.”

The goopy skeleton spread his syrupy body out wide and thin over the carpet, and then several stacks of cardboard boxes floated up from within. You remembered the first time you’d seen him use his self-contained puddle of a body as a magical storage device, and _Sans_ had been the first one asking questions. It was almost too bad this wasn’t a normal magic monsters could use, ‘cause it was really convenient.

Once the boxes were out, Gaster gathered his body back up into the vaguely person-like shape he usually used, and Sans popped into existence a moment later.

“That’s everything,” he said, dusting his hands on his shorts. “No leftover socks under the couch or food in the fridge or anything like that.”

“And it’s clean?” You asked.

“Totally clean,” he nodded. “Practically spotless. There aren’t even any skeletons in the closet.”

“Of course not; they’re both in my living room,” you smirked.

Sans laughed and dropped himself onto the couch. “Not the punch line I was going for, but that was pretty good.”

“Thanks. So, it’s kind of cliche, kind of classic, but I made lemonaid if you guys want some.”

_And that’s how I ended up drinking lemonaid with two skeletons. Man, seven years ago, this would have sounded like some bizarre fantasy._

Monsters had only been on the surface for six and a half years. It was crazy to think about sometimes. You couldn’t really imagine a world without them anymore. Or, a world without Sans, at least. You still didn’t really know all that many monsters. That didn’t really matter, though; you had the most important one living in your apartment with you.

 

Speaking about the few monsters you actually knew, you got a call from Papyrus a few days later. It didn’t strike you as odd or anything. Papyrus tried to keep in touch, and he preferred talking to texting. You usually got a call from him at least once every two weeks, and Sans talked to him at least once weekly.

“Hey, Paps. What’s up?”

“Good morning, future sister-in-law! I have a question for you!”

Future…what? You didn’t know if he was referencing how you and Sans had started living together or implying something about him and your brother. You would have asked, but things moved fast when Papyrus was involved, and the conversation had already progressed past that.

“Um, sure. What?”

“Does Nick prefer cinnamon or butterscotch?”

“What? Why?”

“Toriel—she’s the large goat woman you met at our New Years party, the former queen. You remember her—she has been teaching me to bake, and I wanted to surprise your brother with something homemade!”

Oh, you remembered seeing a monster like that, alright. What was that about her being the former queen?! How could Papyrus drop a bomb like that on you and then pull you back into a talk about pies?!

“I, uh, I don’t know, Papyrus. Why don’t you ask Nick?”

“Because,” you could _feel_ his eyes rolling at you, “it’s supposed to be a surprise. Oh well. If you don’t know, I’ll just use both! Toriel is an exceptional baker with a recipe for every possible circumstance, and I am an exceptional gift-giver!”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll love it, Papyrus.”

“He surely will! I will even deliver it to him fresh. I’m sure dad wouldn’t mind teleporting me to Canada for a night.”

You almost asked why he needed the whole night, but you knew why.

“I thought you didn’t like teleporting, Paps?”

“It’s terrible! It’s lazy and uncomfortable, and so. Very. Convenient! Nyeh! Under most circumstances, I wouldn’t want to, but I can’t deliver a hot pie after a plane ride. They take much too long! Also the seats are too small; I’m legally not allowed to board.”

Your heart ached a little. “Aw, Paps, that sucks.”

He just tsked from the other end of the line. “Oh, (y/n). Don’t fret! Nothing is impossible for the Great Papyrus! I am very close to convincing a Tsundeplane friend of mine to let me ride her. It is very hard to change a Tsunderplane’s mind, but still easier than changing federal laws and safety regulations!”

Tsunderplanes were real?! You’d thought they were a joke on the internet! Every time Papyrus called was like an adventure because he always upheaved your understanding of the world somehow. How did he do this to you _every time_?

“Anyway, I only called today to ask about the pie. Now I must leave you to actually bake it!”

“A-Alright. I’ll talk to you again later, Paps.”

“Indeed! Goodbye, (y/n)!”

Sans walked into the living room and saw you slouching on the couch, staring at the ceiling with your phone half-clasped in your hand.

“Did you just get off the phone with Papyrus?” he chuckled.

“Uh huh.”

He sat down next to you, and you turned your head, brow furrowed in confusion. “How does a Tsunderplane even _work_? And why is Papyrus taking baking lessons from the queen of all monsters?”

“Oh boy. Where do I start?”


	26. Linda’s Back, But Who Cares?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which shopping, showering, and shitty acquaintances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My keyboard broke yesterday. :(  
> Luckily I do most of my writing on my tablet! :D
> 
> So, uh, I didn’t mean to vanish for two months?!? This is why I don’t promise an update schedule...  
> What happened was I wrote a terrible chapter and spent a long time trying to fix it, and finally I just scrapped it and wrote this much better chapter instead. :3  
> It took a lot of willpower. =-=
> 
> ... In other words, writer’s block? XD;
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Sans leaned against the handle of your shopping cart and yawned while you inspected some fruit.

“Did we even need pears?” you asked belatedly.

“Need is a strong word,” he shrugged.

You eyed the fruits again and stuffed a few into a little baggy, placing them in the cart. Next was the cereal aisle. You needed oatmeal and fruit loops.

Grocery shopping always took longer than you’d like. Sans was obviously bored, but you’d dragged him along because he was going to be the one cooking half of what you’d bought. He had the right to weigh in an opinion or two. Not that he had.

As you stared at a wall of nearly identical, colorful, brand and off-brand boxes, you wished you could join him for a little cat nap.

Shopping for monster food was so much easier. You just ordered it online and had it mailed to your doorstep. And nice cream didn’t even melt if it was left sitting on your porch all day! “Because it’s meant to be eaten cold,” Sans had told you. Magic was damn convenient even if you didn’t really understand it sometimes.

Also, monsters weren’t very competitive compared to humans, so you’d never have to pick from six different brands that all looked pretty much the same.

Sans got bored of being bored and lifted his head up a little. “They all taste the same, right? Just get the cheapest one.”

You sighed and nodded, grabbing the least expensive fruit loops knock-off off the shelf. You moved on to the oatmeal and tried to keep your browsing period short. Sans was a little more awake now, and he scanned the shelves with a slight frown.

“Dang. They don’t have the kind with dinosaur eggs.”

“ _What_?” For some reason, the first thing your brain went to was a literal dinosaur egg cracked right on top of a bowl of steaming oatmeal. “What _is_ that?”

“You’ve never had it? It comes with these little white sugary things that uncurl into dinosaurs when you pour hot water over them. It’s Paps’ favorite food.”

“I didn’t know they made something like that.” It didn’t sound nearly so bizarre once he explained it. Actually, the concept took you down memory lane a little. “We used to have these little pills that you would take into the bath. The hot water would melt the case and there would be a dinosaur-shaped sponge inside.”

“Never had those,” Sans shook his head. “Do they still make them?”

“Probably? I bet you could find them online.”

He grinned. “Great. I’ll send Paps some for his birthday. He’d love that.”

Since dinosaur egg oatmeal wasn’t an option, you grabbed the cheapest box that still looked decent. You had pretty much everything with that, so you went to check out. In another checkout lane, facing away from you, you saw a blonde up-do that was worryingly familiar.

“Holy shit, is that…”

Sans eyed you curiously as you leaned your body a little to try and see the woman’s face. She turned her head to fish through her purse and you stifled a gasp. “Oh my god. Linda’s back in town?”

“That name sounds familiar,” Sans said. “Is she the same Linda you were talking about on Halloween?”

“Yes, and we don’t want anything to do with her.” You hurried to bag the rest of your things and pay, then urged Sans outside. At the last moment, you’re pretty sure you saw Linda look your way, looking like she’d just taken a bite of raw chicken.

You let out a relieved sigh when you made it into your car. “I thought she was in Ebbot, protesting against monsters.”

“She’s one of those?”

“She’s _terrible._ Poor Liz, I’m sure Linda’s gonna chew her head off now that she’s seen a monster in her home city. I’m probably gonna hear about it tomorrow.”

“Uh, I think she’s following us.”

Sans pointed, and you saw an irate woman stomping toward your car with grocery bags in each manicured hand.

“Nope. Not dealing with it.” You turned your key in the ignition and started backing out. “That woman is crazy.”

You peeled out of the parking lot as fast as was acceptable and safe, hoping not to see that woman again anytime soon.

 

 

The next day was your first weekday living together with Sans, which meant you were doing your morning routines in the same space. You woke up just a little earlier and claimed the bathroom for yourself. You’d already been in the shower a minute when you heard a knock.

“Hey, babe, can I come in?”

“Sure,” you answered without even thinking about it, but Sans skipped the sink and the toilet and snuck into the shower with you. Well what had you been expecting? That he had to use the toilet? This one was on you... sort of.

“Sans,” you complained. “You’re in the way.”

“Come on, I really don’t take up much room,” he grinned.

You rolled your eyes and washed the shampoo out of your hair, then you felt a pair of skeletal hands on your hips and teeth on the back of your neck.

The good kind of shivers went up your spine.

“Sans, I have work.”

“You have an hour.”

“And it’s a twenty minute drive,” you laughed.

“I’ll give you a ride,” he snuggled closer, but he was still giving you a little space. He wasn’t pressed up against you or anything yet. “Of course, if you don’t want to, I’ll let you get ready in peace.”

This stupid fucking gremlin, he’d already made you want it. And you _did_ have plenty of time if he was going to teleport you.

“You’re not going to tease me this early, Sans. You have to finish now.”

He purred and wrapped his arms around your middle, delivering more skeleton kisses to your neck. Now you could feel his ribs and pelvis poking you from behind. Your skin prickled in anticipation.

Thanks to the hot water, Sans wasn’t cold like usual. You could dive right into it if you wanted to, but you liked it when he took his time.

Up to a point.

When he’d finally finished you off, all that extra time you’d had was pretty much gone. Even so, it would be too much to ask you to jump right out of the shower and finish getting ready. You’d never done this while standing up under your own power, and you felt awfully weak in the knees. You leaned on your poor little skeleton man for support and nearly knocked him over before he activated his magic to pick you up off of him.

“Whoa there, you good?”

“My legs feel like jelly,” you smiled in apology.

He grinned and averted his eyelights. “I’m not sorry.”

You laughed. “Okay, you can put me down now. I need to get dressed.”

 

A few minutes later, you had everything you needed to go in to work. You held on tight to Sans. This was your first time teleporting, and you were super nervous.

“Hold your breath and plug your ears,” he warned you. “There’s gonna be a sudden pressure change.”

“Should I close my eyes?”

“You don’t have to. You won’t see anything anyway.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist and grinned. “I don’t have to hold you like this either, but I want to.”

You smiled, clearly full of anxiety. He saw that, so he didn’t drag it out.

“Alright, hold on.”

For an instant, everything went dark. You could see yourself, and you could see Sans giving you a reassuring smile, but everything around you was just black. You were glad he’d told you to plug your ears; they popped a little even with that. Your eyes kind of felt like you’d put swimming goggles on too tight.

It was over as soon as it started, and you found yourself in the lobby leading to your office. The breath you’d been holding came out as a relieved sigh.

“Thanks, babe.” You gave Sans a little kiss on the teeth, and he smiled wider.

“No problem. I’d better go to work too.”

Your focus went to something behind Sans, and your smile dropped away. Liz, the receptionist, was looking fed-up while talking to… her monster-hating daughter, Linda.

Your mouth twisted like you’d sucked on a lemon. Sans looked where you were looking and started sweating a little.

“Bye, babe,” you whispered, stepping out of his arms.

“Good luck,” he shot, teleporting away in a hurry.

Unfortunately, the woman herself had seen him before he escaped. Her wrath shifted to you in an instant.

“You there! What do you think you’re doing?!”

“Going to work?” You tried.

“Not that! You brought a monster in here, didn’t you?!”

You frowned. “He was just dropping me off. You don’t work here either, Linda. If you aren’t here on business, leave or I’ll report you.”

She folded her artificially tanned arms and lifted her chin. “I _am_ here on business. I’m having a discussion with my mother.”

“Personal business doesn’t count,” you said, taking out your phone. “I’m calling security.”

“You don’t need to do that, (y/n),” Liz said wearily. “I already pushed the button.”

Linda whipped around and gave her mother the evil eye. “You can’t do that! We aren’t done here!”

“We were done eight months ago when the court gave the children to me.”

“Absolutely not! Mother, it is _unlawful_ to keep me from seeing my children!”

“Instead of yelling at me, maybe think about what you’re saying. It makes no sense. And if you’re so concerned about them, how come I heard _nothing_ from you for half a year?”

“I was participating in important protests and doing some _good_ for the world.” A vein in Linda’s forehead puffed up, and she twisted her neck back to you. “Clearly, my efforts are needed now more than ever. They can brainwash the weak-minded, you know?”

_Bullshit._

You saw a pair of security guards turning the corner and relaxed, smiling. _Thank goodness, they’ll take care of—_

“Is this funny to you?!” You felt a sudden force make contact with the side of your face, turning your head to the side hard. She… she _bitch slapped_ you! Crazy bitch!

The security guards broke into a trot and restrained the unstable woman. She started shouting about knowing her rights and ordering them to let her go. Liz just looked embarrassed and tired.

You walked up to her as she watched her daughter being dragged off the premises.

“You okay, Liz?”

The receptionist dragged her hands over her face. “I don’t know what to do with that child. I’m so sorry she got you involved.”

“I think it might have been inevitable,” you smiled crookedly. “We have very different lifestyles.”

“That’s the truth.” Liz was smiling again, at least. “It looks like you and Sans are doing well.”

You blushed. “We actually started living together this weekend.”

“Wow!” Liz smiled politely. “I’m still not really sure how it works, but you two seem happy together.”

“Thanks.” At least Liz tried. That was better than nothing.

 

 

That night, you giggled quietly and stripped your clothes off, then snuck into the shower behind Sans. Now he would have _his_ peace disturbed.

“Hey. You joining me?” He chuckled.

You laughed and nodded, climbing in behind him, then the water hit you and you yelped, jumping back out.

“Oh my god! Why’s the water so _hot_?”

“Oops, sorry.” He turned the knob back a bit. “I can’t really feel it.”

“You can’t feel _that_?!”

“Heat in general, I mean. It doesn’t feel hot unless it’s about that much.”

Come to think of it, this had come up before. You already knew Sans wasn’t as sensitive to temperature as a human. You probably should have been a little more cautious getting into the shower with him.

“Right, it’s my bad.” You got back into the much more tolerable water. “By the way, didn’t you already shower today?”

“You showered,” he laughed. “I just had fun.”

That sure was right.

Sans squirted some soap onto a lufa, and a sudden question popped into your head.

“Hey, do you have to clean inside your ribs and the grooves in your spine and everything?”

“I mean, if I want to be clean, yeah?”

“That sounds like such a pain!”

“It’s not so bad with magic,” he shrugged.

“Want some help anyway?”

He blinked at you and laughed. “Sure, If you want to. I’ll stop you if you’re doing a bad job, though.”

You took the lufa from him and reached up into his ribcage, deliberately rubbing at spots you knew were sensitive for him. He sucked in a breath and automatically pressed his knees together.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Well, you’re showering,” you smiled suggestively and brought your lips down to his collarbone, “so I’m having fun.”

 

Sans leaned forward against the wall to steady himself, and you leaned on top of him, massaging the soapy lufa between the ridges of his spine while gripping his bottom rib with your free hand. His little boney tail was sticking straight out and trembling.

“Am I doing a good job?” you whispered beside his skull.

He moaned and spoke with labored breaths. “D-dunno how clean I’m getting, but yeah. Don’t stop.”

“Sure, we can keep going.”

You pressed your front onto Sans’s back. Releasing his rib, you wrapped your free arm around his chest. You propped one foot up on the lip of the tub, then dragged Sans up so he was straddling your thigh. He reached out to the wall tiles for support in surprise, delicate finger bones clicking on the glossy surface. Being nothing but bones, he was light enough that you could swing him around a little, and it was pretty fun to do.

You tenderly kissed the back of Sans’s skull, then pushed the lufa inside his pelvis. Sans groaned, and magic dripped off of his pulsing soul. It had taken a while to get him to that point. He must have been trying real hard to drag this out. But now the flood gates were open, and everything you did seemed to excite him.

Destroying Sans was always fun, but it was messy. You both had to seriously shower afterwards.

 

As you were lying down for bed, Sans asked, “So what happened with Linda today?”

You blinked in confusion, then your eyes opened wide. “Oh yeah! I almost forgot!”

You casually recounted what had happened during the few unpleasant minutes you’d been in her presence.

“She hit you? What the hell?”

You dragged the blanket up more. “I told you, she’s crazy. After that, security dragged her off. I doubt they’ll let her back into the building.”

“Well, that’s good, at least. If anything happens, you know you can call me, right? I’ll be there in literally a second.”

You laughed. “You’ll fight off crazy blonde women for me?”

“If I have to.”

His voice sounded pretty sober, but you assumed he was joking back with you. Dry humor, right? After all, you couldn’t imagine Sans the Non-Confrontationalist fighting anyone. But you _would_  call him. If nothing else, he could get you _out_ of a bad situation faster and safer than anyone else.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks.” You gave him a little kiss on the forehead, and he smiled. “Goodnight, babe.”

He gave you a little kiss too—or, the motion of one. Without lips, it really was the thought that counted, but the sentiment alone made you feel warmer. “Night, babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I, uh, need to hold a vote.
> 
> I’ve done a lot of thinking, and now I know how Gaster will deal with the issue of grandchildren. The method leaves one question wide open, and I could honestly go either way.  
> So I’ll leave it up to you guys.  
> ...  
> ...  
> Which one do you want to carry the child? Reader or Sans?
> 
> This is a very important decision and it will effect the _entire_ postmarital plotline.
> 
> (I won’t accept both as an answer because I don’t feel like writing twin pregnancy this time.)
> 
>  
> 
> **Voting Closed**


	27. The Beach Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *There always has to be a beach trip in these things, right?
> 
> (Disclaimer: there’s not _that_ much beach in this chapter.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the contribution last time, guys! Some really interesting opinions came up. I'll talk about it more after the chapter.
> 
> (Also, you can comment more than just your vote, if you want. I'll read through it all properly. ^w^ )

“Hey, Sans?” You leaned into the living room where Sans was sprawled out on the couch.

“Hm?”

“I’m on the phone with Imana right now. We’re invited to go to the beach with some friends. Wanna go?”

“The beach, huh?” He stretched his arms out and knocked a pillow onto the floor. “I’ve never been. Could be fun. When are they going?”

“We’d leave on Friday and spend the weekend out there. They want to stay at a hotel and make a whole thing out of it.”

He propped his skull up on his fist. “You know, I haven’t been on a vacation since I moved here. I think I’m overdue. Did you ask her who all’s gonna be there?”

You shook your head and took your hand off the receiver. “Hey, Imana. You there? Who else besides us is coming?”

The Latina rattled off a few names and you nodded.

You covered the receiver again and looked at Sans. “It’s pretty much the group that was at Chloe’s party.”

“So we all know each other already.” Sans finally sat up. “Can you ask if we can invite Papyrus? He’s never been to the beach either. And maybe your brother too, since they’re apparently a thing now.”

You nearly argued that Nick was all the way in Canada, but Gaster’s assistance rendered distance pretty much nonexistent.

“Sure. Hey Imana? Is it fine if Sans and I bring our brothers?” You nodded, thanked her for the invitation, and hung up. “She said we can bring anyone we want. Everybody’s paying for themselves anyway.”

“Cool.” You joined Sans on the couch, and he picked the pillow up off the floor. “So what kinds of stuff do we need for a trip to the beach? I probably don’t own any of it.”

“Right, I’m going to have to shop for a new swimsuit. My old one I haven’t worn since college.” You stared up at the ceiling, “Besides swimsuits, I guess we’ll need beach towels, sunscreen… Oh, I’ve always wanted one of those big parasols that you stick in the sand.”

Sans took out his phone and started making a list. “Sunscreen, I won’t need,” he chuckled. “We’ve already got a cooler for snacks and drinks or whatever. Anything else?”

“I can’t think of anything. I hope I’m not forgetting something stupid… Maybe shoes? I already have flip flops I can wear. Tennis shoes get full of sand, so you won’t want those.”

“I need sandals then, I guess. Don’t think flip flops would work for me.”

Sans’s feet were like his hands. Instead of a solid foot and five short toes, it was more like he had five super long toes. He could slide his foot all the way forward on a flip flop if he wanted to, and probably when he didn’t want to, too.

“We’ll add more stuff if we think of anything,” you said. “Do you know how to swim, Sans?”

"Hm." He tapped his fingers on his knee while he pieced his thoughts together. “You know how in pirate movies there are a bunch of skeletons at the bottom of the water?”

You smiled awkwardly. “You sink, huh?”

“Like a rock.” Sans tapped on his phone’s keyboard, “I’ll add pool floaties to the list.”

“There might not be a lifeguard there,” you said. “Do I need to supervise you and Papyrus? Save you if you start drowning?”

“Somebody probably should,” he smiled. “But don’t worry too much. I can go without breathing for, like, forty minutes, easy, and I’m sure Paps can do better. With that much time, we can probably just crawl along the bottom until we get to where we can stand.”

“Forty minutes is crazy! My record is a minute and a half.” You raised an eyebrow, “You sure you’re not undead or something?”

“I _do_ still breathe,” he chuckled. “No hunger for human flesh or anything. Despite a few _very_ confused humans, skeleton monsters are definitely alive. I bleed and everything.”

You turned your head in surprise. “You bleed? Really?” You had never seen Sans injured to know that.

He shrugged. “I bleed magic, but yeah.” He winked at you, “If I ever get in an accident, I’ll make sure to show you before seeking emergency medical attention.”

“No, please don’t.”

Sans chuckled, and you leaned sideways onto him. He tipped over, and you unintentionally ended up pinning him to the couch, but you were too lazy to move and he wasn’t in pain or anything.

“We should go swimsuit shopping tomorrow.”

“Sounds good. By the way, I’m kinda stuck.”

“Maybe a yellow one, to match my soul color? Is that too cheesy?”

“Heh, nice one. Also, you’re not getting up, huh?”

“Would I even look good in yellow though? I don’t own a lot of yellow clothes.”

“I literally don’t have muscles. You’re really gonna make me use magic to get you off?”

“Answer the question, Sans.”

“You look amazing in anything. I’d say pick a warm color so the light from your soul complements it, but I’m the only one who would notice that. Can I go free now?”

“I’ll get up if you want me to.”

Sans paused to think for a moment, then shrugged, “Nah.”

 

The next day after work, you went swimsuit shopping with Sans. There was a flower-patterned orange and red bikini you were partial to, so you were planning on getting that, along with a forest-green backup suit. Now you were patiently waiting for Sans.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t too hard to find swim shorts that fit a skeleton, but it made you embarrassed that you could just look down and see almost everything. You didn’t want just anybody looking at your boyfriend like that.

“You know there isn’t anything to see, right?” he laughed. “I could just go naked. They can’t arrest a skeleton for public indecency.”

Your whole face flushed. “D-didn’t you used to be shy?” You remembered a time when Sans wouldn’t leave any skin—er, any bone—showing even in his own home.

He scratched his cheek and eyed the rafters. “It’s more like I don’t like making people feel uncomfortable.”

Maybe it wasn’t supposed to, but that line hit you right in the gut. Thinking about it, you had been reason number one for Sans being so careful about showing himself. Then, it must be a good thing that he’s more relaxed now, right?

“I mean, I do like wearing more comfortable clothes, but I’ve never really been shy. I just worry because humans can get kinda touchy about things. But we’re going somewhere where everybody’s half-naked anyway, and Paps is gonna be there; I’m not really worried about standing out.”

You smiled softly. “Okay. I’m glad you feel good about this. It’s supposed to be a fun trip.” Your smile tightened, and you tossed a white T-shirt at him. “But as your girlfriend, I’m the only one who gets to see you like that, got it?”

He shrugged and pulled on the shirt. It fit just about right. “Eh. Different senses of modesty. But I guess it’d be a good idea.”

Sans changed back into his clothes and tossed the blue swim trunks he’d picked into the cart. On your way to the checkout, you passed by the sunglasses rack. Sans paused to pick up a pair, holding them up to his face and grinning at you. You laughed. He had an impressive ability to look cool and silly at the same time.

“I like them,” you said.

“I’m buying them,” he replied.

You chuckled, “What? You don’t have ears. Are you going to tape them on?”

“Yep.”

“Pfft! I love you.”

 

Friday came. It would have taken three and a half hours to drive to the shore, but you skipped that noise. After picking up Nick from Canada, Gaster stopped by your place to give you all a ride.

_We’re not breaking international travel laws or anything, are we?_

It wasn’t like you were doing anything bad so, just this once, you overlooked it.

You, Sans, and Papyrus had never been to the beach before. You were getting pretty excited now that it was happening.

Before swimming, of course, you had to get everybody moved into their hotel rooms and fed. Lunch was your chance to catch up with everybody and introduce Nick and Papyrus.

“Wait! I know you!” Anna exclaimed in surprise when she saw the taller skeleton brother. “You’re a royal guard, right?” She looked at Sans. “He’s your brother?”

“Ah, have you been to Ebott, human? You are correct! I am the Great Papyrus, proud member of the royal guard! And you are?”

“My name’s Anna, and yeah, I live there.”

“Really? Wowie, what a coincidence!”

“Yeah, So this is Papyrus,” you took your chance to cut in and do the introductions properly. “He’s Sans’s younger brother. And this—”

“Hold on, did you say _younger_?” Karen apparently couldn’t hold that in.

“Yeah, Sans is older. And this is _my_ big brother, Nick.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” he gave a little wave. “I’m also Papyrus’s boyfriend.”

You could see the issue of birth order vanish from everyone’s brains.

Imana leaned on her hand. “So you are dating Sans, and your brothers, they’re also a couple?”

“Small fucking world,” Karen exhaled.

Papyrus grinned brightly, “I prefer to think of it as a big world where friends somehow manage to find each other!”

“I like that philosophy,” Ren smiled.

Chloe practically leaned across the table. “Since I’m finally meeting you, I gotta know… do you tell jokes?”

Papyrus snorted, “Only good ones.”

“Let me hear one.”

Papyrus hummed and held his chin. “Very well. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.”

Chloe chuckled. “Okay, not bad. How about something riskier?”

“Risky, eh?”

“Yeah, like, rude jokes, you know? Something that would offend a sensitive person.”

Papyrus raised a brow and smirked faintly, “You have curious taste, human. Well, I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.”

That got a genuine laugh out of her. “Yeah, that was good.”

“Nyeh heh. Of course it was.”

“I’m really glad you stopped hating jokes, Paps,” Sans said, swirling his drink in his cup and looking so proud.

Papyrus frowned at him deliberately. “It’s not that I hated them, it’s that you told the same jokes over and over for sixteen years. It gets old.” He smiled a little, “But there’s much more variety up here.”

Chloe turned on your skeleton. “How about you, Sans? Got any jokes for me today?”

“Did you think I would run out?” He grinned at her, “Welp, since you asked for a risky one, do you know why blind people hate skydiving?”

“No. Why?”

Sans took a sip of his drink, “It scares the hell out of their dogs.”

She just looked shocked for a minute, then she nearly knocked her drink over falling onto the table. While Chloe and Karen lost their shit, Ren raised his hand timidly.

“Do you do not-rude jokes too? Something I could share with my kid sister?”

Sans chuckled, “Sure. Recently, I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust.”

“How about a “your momma” joke?” Imana suggested.

“Oh! Undyne shared a good one with me recently!” Paps cut in. “Your mother is so fat, I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas!”

There was something about jokes that really helped loosen up the atmosphere. It only took a few minutes and suddenly it was like everyone had known each other for weeks. The pleasant conversations continued all the way through lunch and a bit past it. After sitting around for about an hour, though, you all decided it was about time you went out to enjoy the water. That _was_ the whole reason you came here.

 

The beach you were going to was well-used, so there were nice changing rooms close by. There were two or three lifeguards that you could see, but the beach was huge, so you weren’t planning to rely on them.

It was a mostly human-populated place, and you were increasingly glad Papyrus had come along. Having at least one other skeleton around would make things less awkward for Sans, especially when it was someone confident and upbeat like Paps. Not to mention, the fact that Papyrus was a trained royal guard probably reassured him. It would reassure you if you were a monster in a place like this.

You changed into your flowery bathing suit and met Sans outside. In addition to his swim trunks and T-shirt, he also had sunglasses taped to the sides of his skull, sandals, pool floaties on his arms, an inner tube around his waist, and a huge grin on his face. He looked ridiculous, but also like he was having the most fun of anybody around. Your heart fluttered because he was just too cute.

Papyrus came out wearing nothing but a speedo.

Imana whistled when she saw him, and Karen slapped her thigh and burst out laughing.

You didn’t know where you were supposed to look, and your face turned very red. Sans just laughed beside you.

You took a second to recover and called out to him. “Hey, Pap, Do you need floaties? We brought extras.”

“I wasn’t planning on going farther than where I can stand, but I suppose I’ll accept them just to be safe!”

That was probably a good idea for everybody, though you’d heard there weren’t any dangerous currents nearby.

Papyrus came over to accept the floaties, and you flushed again. It took a lot of willpower to keep your eyes from drifting down. You knew by now that that area wasn’t too important to skeleton monsters, but as a human, it still made you feel bashful.

After Papyrus took the floaties and started toward the water, you caught Nick. “Are you fine with what he’s wearing?”

Nick smiled, “I like that he’s confident. Besides, he’s a skeleton, so it’d be fine even if he was naked, right?”

_Why, brother? Why are you so well-adjusted to this?_

Several of the humans around were gawking. Mostly at Papyrus. Maybe because comparatively few people were focused on Sans, he seemed to not be very nervous. Did he know his brother would pull something like this? Had he deliberately brought Papyrus along to make himself less noticeable? Honestly, you wouldn’t put it past him, but it definitely wasn’t hurting Papyrus any, so you supposed it was fine either way.

By the time you looked again, Sans was in the water, napping on his inner tube. How cute.

You turned around to set up your stuff on the beach, just to see Gaster (honestly, he was so quiet, you’d almost thought he’d left) sticking your giant parasol in the sand and shrinking comfortably into the shade.

Were… were skeletons just an adorable species in general? Once you got past the whole spooky scary skeletons thing, they were nothing but endearing the rest of the way down. It was like you had the monster equivalent of being afraid of dogs.

Instead of thinking about that, you went to apply your sunscreen. Something you probably should have done before leaving the hotel. You wanted to hurry up and join the others.

 

***

 

Imana snuck up behind Sans and splashed a little water on his skull, making him lazily open his eye sockets.

“Splash fight already?” He mumbled.

“No, dummy,” the Latina giggled, “You’re sleeping on the job.”

He looked at her in confusion, and she pointed to the beach. “Your lady is putting on sunscreen lotion.” Imana winked. “Aren’t you going to help her?”

The corner of Sans’s smile twitched, and Karen popped up out of the water behind him.

“It’s a trope,” she said, sweeping her wet bangs back, “that means you have to do it.”

“Sorry, I must have missed the memo.” He glanced over at you absorbed in your task and blushed a little. “I think she can handle it.”

The moment he said that, you reached to cover your back and had some obvious difficulty. Karen gave Sans a heavy pat on the back.

“You don’t want her to get sunburned, do you? Hurry up!”

Sans chuckled, shook his head, and teleported away, leaving his inner tube behind. A splash fight began between the two girls to see who got the right to it.

“Need a hand?”

You jumped when Sans suddenly called out from behind you, then turned around and smiled. “Yeah, would you?”

He took the bottle of lotion and squirted some onto your back, then spread it around so it was pretty much even. His phalanges were covered in the stuff now, but the excess would wash off in the water. Sans was more concerned with the warm and soft feel of your back. Opportunities to touch and feel you like this weren’t rare, but he enjoyed every one he got.

Sans had never used sunscreen before, so he wasn’t sure how much he needed to rub it in. Since you hadn’t told him to stop yet, he kept rubbing your back, and you let out a soft moan. He pulled his hand back like you’d burned him and started to blush.

You laughed softly, “You can keep going if you want. That felt nice.”

Sans felt his soul pulse violently, pumping more magic into his bones and _not_ helping with his blush. The magical heart-shaped organ manifested in his ribcage with a blue glow, and he instinctively held his hands over his chest to try and hide it.

He was _so_ glad you’d made him wear a shirt today. The glow was still visible, but that was so much better than everything being out on display.

Sans managed to put his soul away after a few seconds, then he worriedly looked to see if anybody had noticed. You had clearly seen it. Papyrus and the others were busy having fun. Some humans might have seen, but they probably didn’t know what it was they saw.

… That reassurance didn’t help his soul pulse slow down one bit.

Sans looked over his shoulder and saw Gaster smiling at him.

 _Fuck._ “Uh…” Sans found himself completely unable to form a sentence.

The blob-like skeleton politely turned his face in another direction. “I didn’t see anything.”

Sans’s skull lit up blue. If he’d had ears, he felt like steam would have shot out of them. He heard you chuckling and looked over in mortification.

“Ah, sorry,” you covered your mouth, but kept giggling lightly. “It’s just, you never get this embarrassed.”

All the fuss you’d made about what he would wear to the beach, and this was your reaction to his soul showing? In front of his own father no less! Sans wanted to crawl under the sand and stay there.

“Please stop laughing. Didn’t you say you’re the only one allowed to see me exposed?”

You shrugged and forced a put-together voice, “Different senses of modesty, I guess.”

Hearing his own words used against him, Sans decided not to tease you too much about the weird things humans were embarrassed by.

It really was embarrassing, but when you were laughing, it made him want to laugh too.

You sat up, still giggling faintly. “I think I’m ready to get in the water. You coming?”

Sans nodded and looked at Karen floating leisurely. “Yeah. I need to go rescue my inner tube.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calling a Revote!
> 
> I'm sorry. I should have been more clear last time. This vote is for who you personally WANT to see preggo. Which you think would be more fun/interesting. Who gets to waddle around with a baby belly and get pampered and loved? Who gets to be the doting parent lavishing the other? 
> 
> Please don't worry about health concerns for Sans, Reader, or the child. Gaster is going to run this operation from start to finish, and you know he won't let anything bad happen. Gaster and I have already thought of everything: a safe way for either of them to bear the child. Maybe there will be some discomfort, but that would apply to either side. And it's pregnancy, so what would you expect?
> 
> If the voting gets close, I will take the quality of the arguments into account when tallying.
> 
>  **Edit: Voting is Closed!**  
>  All votes have been tallied, and all arguments have been evaluated and also tallied. Details in next chapter.


	28. Close Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which more beach shenanigans, and Sans is actually pretty strong?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I struggled with it.  
> There are only about 2-3 more chapters left for this arc... Wow. I'm feeling some emotions.

It was pretty cool that something as simple as water and sand could entertain people for half a day without any trouble. They engaged in simple, lively fun for hours, then stopped for a lunch of gyros and popsicles, obtained from nearby food stalls. 

Karen was outraged when she saw Sans and Papyrus just bite their frozen treats in half. 

“Dudes, no! You’re supposed to lick them!”

Sans looked at her strangely. “... How?”

“Or suck on them! Jeez. Anything but that. It’s sacrilege!”

So, with some confusion, the skeletons continued by “sucking” on the popsicles. Without lips, it basically amounted to leaving them between their teeth and letting their magic melt them much more slowly than usual. Sans got bored and just ate his normally, but Papyrus struggled through doing it the “proper” way.

It didn’t even amount to a bump in their day, though. Everyone continued swimming, building sandcastles, and having fun until dinnertime. Finally, they went back to their hotel to get changed and go out somewhere to eat. 

You carefully combed through your damp hair and made sure you hadn’t dripped too much on your fresh shirt, then you looked at the bathroom door reflected in the mirror. 

“Hurry up, Sans. I’m starving.”

He called out over the sound of the shower running. “Sorry, babe. It was a mistake letting those girls bury me in the sand. It got in my joints. Gonna need a few more minutes.”

You winced. “No, that sounds awful. Take your time.” 

So skeletons and sand didn’t mix well. If Papyrus was having the same issue, at least you wouldn’t be the last ones there.

To pass the time, you pulled out your phone and randomly scrolled through the social media feed you usually ignored. With a little curiosity, you stopped on an article that had the word monsters tacked on. 

It was about the human ambassador, Frisk. Looked like they were doing well. It had been tough in the beginning for a kid to do such an important job, but they were a determined little thing. Now, after almost seven years, they’d really matured into the role. Apparently, they’d just managed to push a new law into voting that would make magic education mandatory in the public schools of all countries with a monster population of at least ten thousand. 

It got you thinking a little. True, monsters had made as much information available to humans as they could to increase understanding and reduce fearful suspicion, but it was easy to go through life without ever taking note of any of it.

It was kind of embarrassing that someone half your age was doing so much for the world. You would likely never accomplish something so grand or world-changing, but that was fine. All you could do was live your own life and do your best to be happy while not hurting anyone.

While you were distracted, Sans came out of the shower and quickly got dressed, then you joined all the others for dinner.

 

 

It was hard to say your visit was cut short, since the incident happened on the last day, but your carefree spirits were dampened somewhat.

You were attempting to surf. There was a shop nearby that rented surfboards, and there were some little waves today, so you were up for a little adventure. 

It was a lot harder than you’d expected, and you hadn’t imagined it to be anything easy. Without fail, every time you attempted to stand up, you fell off. You kinda wanted to give up after the first ten minutes, but you’d rented the board for an hour, so you were settling for just laying on the board like a pool floaty. Sans was floating nearby in his innertube, and you waved at him. 

It was a good, relaxing time. Until you felt something bump the bottom of your board. You reflexively pulled your arms and legs in and struggled onto your hands and knees. 

“What was…?”

Sans looked at you and chuckled. “You ready to try again?”

“I thought I felt something hit my board,” you said worriedly.

“Like a fish?” he tilted his head.

“Maybe…”

And when you were about to lay back down, your board shook violently, almost knocking you off. Before you could recover, a set of jaws sprung up from the water and took a chunk out of the sturdy plastic.

“Shark!” you screamed, jumping off to swim away. 

The hungry animal had been distracted by your seal-like board, but you caught its attention when you accidentally kicked it in the side. It backed off for just a second, saw you fleeing, and then charged with its mouth open.

You could taste ozone and blueberries on your lips, the smell filled your nose, your ears were ringing, and you were blinded by a bright light. Then you felt something warm spreading in the water around you.

Shaken and disoriented, you looked up at Sans, sitting up in his innertube looking serious and terrified, some strange animal skull floating beside him, and his hand thrust out pointing somewhere behind you. And when you turned around, you saw the bloody chunks of a shark with a massive hole in it. You were literally bathing in its blood. 

Confused and afraid, you shakily resumed swimming and clung to Sans’s inner tube for support. When you looked up again, the floating skull was gone, and Sans was looking down at you with unsteady and concerned eyelights. He held your wrist, and the next instant, you were sucking in a fresh breath of air on the beach, your ears popping uncomfortably. You could feel a soft towel underneath you, and you were curled up in Sans’s arms before you noticed it. He stroked your back reassuringly, and your breathing and heart rate gradually settled.

Everything felt kind of muted and dreamlike right then, but the lifeguards had called for an evacuation of the beach. People were hurrying onto the shore in just short of a panic, and your friends all ran up to check on you. They had to call out a few times before you realized they were really there and responded.

“Oh my god, (y/n)! Are you okay?!” Chloe practically cried.

You sat up a little and hugged your knees. “I… It didn’t get me.”

“There shouldn’t be sharks around here,” Karen said angrily. “This shouldn’t have happened.”

“It probably followed some boat dropping chum and got lost,” Imana frowned.

“That’s such bullshit!” Karen shouted back.

“Maybe we should just go back to the hotel for today,” Anna suggested, looking rather pale.

“But, it totally sucks to end on a note like this,” Nick replied. He took a look at you still shaking and hung his head. “But maybe we should.”

So your group called it early and went back to the hotel to spend the rest of the day calming down. Sans was an absolute angel and stayed with you while you cried in his arms. The amount of terror you felt after a near-death encounter was unreal. You’d never had such intense emotions in your life, but you did eventually calm down.

While lounging on the bed and watching some random TV station, you snuggled closer to Sans and gave him a doe-eyed look.

“You saved my life.”

He chuckled faintly. “Nah. Maybe saved your arm or your leg, but humans rarely die to shark attacks.”

“You saved my life,” you said again firmly.

Sans blinked at you and then smiled. “Okay.”

“I had no idea you were actually this strong,” you said somberly.

“What, really?” he grinned curiously at you, and you shook your head. “I told you I’m a boss monster, right?” He did. “And that I have a lot of magic?” Yep, that too. “And that I have twin soul traits and a neato attack to use against bad people?” Yeah, he’d mentioned all of that.

“But I didn’t know you were, like, actually strong or good at fighting.” You blushed a little in embarrassment. “I kind of thought you were just my joke-loving, conflict-avoiding, weak little skeleton.” You tucked your neck in, “I’ve even thought I would be the one to protect you if anything happened. I feel a little silly for that now.”

Sans’s cheekbones flushed blue. “I mean, you’re not wrong. Fighting isn’t something I do if I can avoid it. I have low stats, and I’m definitely weaker than most people without my magic. But, uh, I can still protect the things I care about. I’m not helpless.”

You smiled, but it wasn’t very happy. “Right. Sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.” Sans reached for your hand and held it gently. “I wouldn’t get mad just because you thought I was a pushover. I kinda prefer it that way, actually.”

“Really?” You didn’t believe him, and it showed in the half-smile on your face.

“Yeah, really. I mean, most of the time, I’m just going to run away if there’s a fight happening. It would be awkward if you were expecting me to rush in and steal the show or something.”

That got a chuckle out of you, but Sans saw you were still looking down, so he sat up and summoned one of those strange animal skulls you’d seen.

“You trust me, right? Can I show you something?”

“Of course.”

Your eyes widened when he pointed the skull at you. It opened its mouth and you instinctively blocked your body with your arms. The blinding light ray hit you and stung like you were sunburnt, but then it faded along with the pain. You looked down at your body in confused shock. There wasn’t a scratch on you.

“Sans! I thought you were seriously going to attack me!”

He grinned, “Yep. That was a serious attack. I gave it my all. I only have 1 ATK, remember? My special magic only works on people who’ve already hurt others. Against a first-time lunatic or a wild herbivore, I can’t do much. I mean, I could just spam a few dozen attacks—you humans don’t have _that_ much HP—but that’s a pain. And a lot of jerks fight in groups, right? Most of the time, it’s better to just teleport away and call the cops or the guard, so I don’t think fighting strength is something that matters most of the time.”

“Sans, it’s… I’m not upset because you’re strong.”

He tilted his head. “Well if that's not what’s bugging you, mind telling me what is?”

“I guess… it’s that I didn't know you as well as I thought I did.”

He blinked in surprise, then smiled and cupped your cheek with his hand. “Maybe not. But don’t beat yourself up over it. You already know everything that matters. You know _me_.”

Your face heated up at the sudden intense line; it was incredibly reassuring, actually. You did know Sans. Maybe you didn’t know everything about what he could do or where he came from, but you knew who he was as a person.

“You’re right,” you mumbled, and he gave you a little skeleton kiss. 

Sans looked ready to end it there, and he was pulling away, but you put your hand on his shoulder to keep him there. “But I want to know more. Get comfy; let’s talk.”

The very first thing you brought up was a boss monster’s long lifespan; how they wouldn’t die or age until they had kids… and how you two couldn’t have kids together.

“I’m going to leave you alone someday relatively soon. Does that not worry you?”

Sans was sweating beside you, and his sockets were dark, and you got the sense he would have run off if you weren’t hugging his arm.

“This is a big topic to bring up all of a sudden,” he chided you.

“It’s an important one,” was your reply.

“I, um, don’t know? What to do about that? If it was before meeting you, I’d probably say I didn’t want kids. Being immune to falling down is kind of… really useful for a monster with depression. But your soul pulse is way faster than mine, and synching with it so much is slightly changing my magic makeup? I’m not underproducing magic as much anymore. It’s not like I can say I’m cured, but it wouldn’t be a huge risk like before.” He lowered his head a fraction. “And raising a kid with you actually sounds kinda nice.”

You pressed your knees together and lowered your own head. “I’m sorry. If I were a monster, this wouldn’t be a problem.”

Sans looked at you in befuddlement. “Uh… If you were a monster, I wouldn’t have even matched with you in the first place.”

You looked up in shock. “Oh right. How did I almost forget you have a human fetish?”

Sans winced. He still hated the way that sounded. “Yep, it’s all my fault. So you don’t have to feel bad, okay?”

“Fine. I feel a little better.”

He smiled slightly and forced himself to ask, “What about you? Do you want kids?”

You smiled sadly and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Then let’s just leave this conversation for later,” he said, and you couldn’t really protest. 

After that, you pestered Sans for stories about what the underground was like for him growing up, and eventually dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite arguments from each side.  
> Reader: 1. We'll can get the skeleton perspective from Papyrus later.  
> 2\. I want to know her thoughts as she has the first (?) monster-human hybrid kid.
> 
> Sans: 1. It's a good thematic progression. After all he's suffered, he deserves to be pampered by Reader and treated as something precious.  
> 2\. I want to see other people reacting to a pregnant skeleton.
> 
> The vote tally: (Don't question it)  
> Sans: 24  
> Reader: 26
> 
> The final result? Well, it doesn't really matter. This book will finish before we get there. It's a matter for the sequel. So, anyone who doesn't like the result can just not read the sequel? This story was already planned to end without any kids, but I needed you guys to help me decide this for the next book before I suddenly had to write it.
> 
> For anyone who's curious, the winner was...  
> ...  
> ...  
> Sans.  
> *celebration noises*  
> The argument on theme really hit home for me, and the voting was super close.


	29. At the Top of a Ferris Wheel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which important questions are asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s a little short. This one was more like setup for the next one.
> 
> Also, we’re really close to the end now. Just one more proper chapter and then the epilogue.

It had been a year since Sans had met you. A little less than that long since you’d started dating. Sans didn’t know if it was still too soon for him to ask you to be his soulmate, or if maybe he was already running behind. He’d enlisted the internet for help, but…

In the first place, the human concept of marriage and the monster concept of soulmates were not direct parallels.

Marriage was something with a lot of steps to it. It was steeped in law and tradition, and there were apparently hundreds of ways to do it wrong. There was no consensus he could find on the timing of things, but it seemed a year might be a little bit too soon.

Soulbonding, on the other hand, was all about the personal experience. There were an infinite number of ways to do it right, and the only way to do it wrong was to be without your partner’s consent. If anything, sooner was better for a soulbond. As soon as you knew you loved somebody, why wouldn’t you resolve to magically bind yourselves together? According to his monster friends, Sans was actually moving too slow.

He had no idea what he was doing.

“Thank you for your purchase. I’m sure she’s going to love it.”

But he had done plenty of research along the way.

Sans accepted a sleek black bag from an orange cat monster and left the jewelry store. It was a monster-owned place, and the accessories were set to adjust to the size of whoever wore them. Monster body types were so varied, it was a common practice. Thankfully, monsters had been charmed by the idea of wedding rings, so they were widely available. This way, he didn’t have to sneak around and ask for your size. He could surprise you more easily.

Besides the ring, there wasn’t much else to arrange when it came to a proposal. The location and the method were all that remained. As for the method, he wasn’t planning on doing anything special, but maybe you would have fun if he used a little magic in the process. Eh, the ring itself was magic so why bother? And as for the location…

Usually, it would be a fancy restaurant or something, but in this town, Sans didn’t want to risk something happening to ruin the mood.

So that left, uh, your apartment … Man, even Sans knew that was too lazy.

Thankfully, a random text from Chloe gave him an idea: “Yo, funnybones! The fair’s in town. Got any jokes about carnies?”

And, hey, fairs are fun, right? He had some pretty good ideas if that was the spot. Also, it was less of an enclosed space than a restaurant. If anything did go down, there would be room to get away from it and still enjoy the venu.

… You would say yes when he asked you, right? Stars his soul was pumping so hard.

 

***

 

Sans invited you to the fair. You hadn’t even known there was a fair in town, but it sounded super fun. Riding rides; blowing money on rigged games just to win some grody old toy; getting sick on questionable fair food. Sounded like a great way to spend a Saturday.

You gathered your things up at about three o’clock and drove down a few blocks to a series of lots that were usually empty and dead. Today, they were blocked off by orange traffic cones and yellow caution tape. The area had become a massive maze of rides and stalls, and you started getting excited.

Obviously, you skipped buying tickets and went straight for the wristbands that gave you unlimited rides.

“I’m setting a budget of thirty dollars for the games,” you told him, walking past the ticket booth hand in hand. “Don’t let me go over that.”

“You sure? It’s pretty fun when you actually win. If you want, I can use a little magic. It’s easy enough to keep humans from noticing.”

“I don’t really want to cheat,” you said uncertainly.

“The games are rigged,” Sans shrugged. “So it’s more like I’d be leveling the playing field. But I don’t care either way, so it’s up to you.”

You smiled softly. “I don’t really need to win. I’m not interested in the prizes, just the fun. Besides, it’s their livelihood.”

“Which is pretty sad, but… yeah. Your call.”

You wasted some money throwing rings at bottles, picking up little rubber ducks, throwing darts, and being cheated out of various other games and prizes. After that, you dragged Sans to various food stalls. They had all your fair favorites.

You started with the funnel cake, obviously, then got some cotton candy, popcorn, and lemonade. And some corn dogs, just to pretend to eat some actual food for dinner.

“They sure have a lot of weird stuff,” Sans mentioned, biting off a tuft of fluffy pink candy.

“Yeah, you can’t find food like this anywhere else. It’s why people keep coming back. You get nostalgic after a while.”

“They should add cinnamon bunnies,” Sans said. “They’d fit right in.”

“Maybe if monsters get in on the whole fair business, they will. Heck, I wouldn’t protest to some crazy new monster fair food.”

After eating, you took a look at the rides. Besides the kiddy stuff, you and Sans could ride whatever you wanted.

“How about the Ferris wheel?” you smiled, pointing to the large upright wheel in the middle of the park.

“Let’s save that for the finale,” Sans chuckled. “What’s that thing?”

You looked. “The tilt-a-whirl? It spins you around sort of randomly. You wanna start there?”

“Sure, why not?” your little skeleton shrugged. “I figure we can do all of them once.”

“That sounds like a plan,” you grinned.

From then on, you rode many rides: the zipper, the twister, the swings, the teacups, and so on. This place even had the slides where you raced down in burlap sacks, and two pretty good fun houses. You spent a lot of time on those. By the way, you always won the slide races unless Sans used magic to cheat. He was too light to build up any decent momentum.

About the other people at the fair? Well, there were a few who didn’t look totally comfortable with Sans being around. There were also a lot of people who seemed to think he was in costume and worked at the fair. They even got asked directions a few times because of that.

The worst they got though was a man in line who tried to convince Sans the rides were built for humans only, and a woman with two kids who “politely” asked him to leave because he was “scaring” the children. (They looked fine to you.) You told both of them off harshly and were left a little irked.

Sans spoke up softly beside you, “Hey, I really want today to be a good day, so…”

You smiled. “Got it. We’ll pretend it never happened.”

You put it out of your mind, and soon you’d forgotten about it entirely.

  


Time flies when you’re having fun, and the rest of the evening went by without any issues. When it was getting dark, Sans suggested you finally take a spin on the Ferris wheel. Last ride of the night, huh? You prepared yourself to make the most of it.

The Ferris wheel always had a long line, but to make up for it, everybody got to go to the top about three times. It was enjoyable enough just passing the peak, but once the process of getting all the passengers off initiated, you got to stay up there for a while and really soak in the view.

You were a little captivated, to be honest. The multicolored lights twinkling in the dark were beautiful, but you still looked away from them when Sans squeezed your hand. When you met eyes, he was in the middle of a lazy wink, holding a small dark cube out to you.

“I got you something,” he said casually.

A smile tugged the corners of your lips. “Ooh, a present?” You took the box into your hands and noticed that it was a jewelry box. You opened it, expecting a necklace or something, but what you saw was a pretty little diamond ring, glittering under a tiny light built into the lid of the box. Your mouth dropped open in shock.

While blushing, you murmured a quick, “It’s beautiful,” and then turned a cautious look to Sans.

“Do you know… what this implies for humans?”

“Yyyep,” he drawled.

Oh god. He was proposing to you. This was a proposal! Already?! You’d thought you’d have another half a year at least before he asked you to marry him! How did he even know your ring size? Even Chloe shouldn’t know that. _You_ didn’t even know that! Was this whole trip just for this moment? That’s why he wanted to save the Ferris wheel for last? That’s why he wanted you to ignore the few assholes you ran into?

It all made sense in retrospect, but it still caught you completely off guard!

“Kinda waiting on an answer here,” Sans chuckled, and you picked up on the slight hint of nervousness that you wouldn’t have noticed back when you were still getting to know him.

“Yes,” you said in muted awe. “Yes.”

Sans’s face brightened and he let out a sigh of relief.

“I had a joke planned for this about emotional rollercoasters, but I’m honestly too rattled now to remember it.”

You chuckled. “Well we’ve definitely experienced all the rides now.” You squeezed his hand and the Ferris wheel lurched, bringing you closer to the ground. “Let’s go home, sweetie.”

 

***

 

Sans was feeling buzzed long after he’d gotten your answer. His soul just kept thumping and he might as well have been in the middle of another ride. He wasn’t _anxious_ or anything—there was nothing to be worried about anymore. It was like he was high on caffeine. His thoughts wouldn’t slow down, and he couldn’t sleep.

Marriage was kind of a laughably shallow thing from a monster perspective, but Sans knew it mattered to humans. So, if you were willing to marry him, you were probably willing to soulbond with him too.

Stars, he was so ready to have that with you.

Beside him, you stirred awake. It was probably his fault. He had been staring at the ceiling with his eyes wide open, and you must have noticed the faint light in the room.

“Sans? Baby, why’re you up?” You sat up slightly and held his hand. “Can’t sleep?”

“We’re getting married,” he murmured, and you blushed beside him with a goofy smile.

“Yeah.”

“You know, monsters don’t usually do marriage.”

“No? Is it weird for you?”

Sans smiled. “Nah. But I am mostly doing it for your sake.”

He turned his head slightly and saw you frowning through a sleepy fog.

“But you want an equal relationship, right?” He stole the words right out of your mouth and chuckled. “In that case, I’ve got a suggestion.”

“What is it?”

The conversation must have grabbed you because you looked almost awake now.

“If we’re having a human ceremony for you, we should have a monster ceremony for me.”

“Sounds fair. What’re those like?”

“Be my soulmate.”

Sans could see the lights in his sockets reflected in your shocked eyes.

“Soul… mate?” Gradually, your face relaxed until you were smiling again. “Right. That word’s been floating around for a while, hasn’t it.”

You snuggled into the sheets and into his side more and smiled in sleepy bliss.

“If it’s important to you, I’ll do it. No, I _want_ to do it.”

Sans grinned and patted your head. “Great. Thanks for the rehearsal. I’ll make sure to ask you again when you’re awake and aware.”

He did, but your answer was the same.

“I want to be your soulmate,” you proclaimed proudly, and his soul nearly melted in joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art:  
> [Round Purring Boy ](https://docemoon145.tumblr.com/post/186271036558/well-you-made-me-think-of-round-purring-boys-with) by bimbeu


	30. Weddings are White but Happiness is Blue and Yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *In which ceremonies and the apex of my fluff-writing power.

Human brides wore white for their weddings. Sans had always shrugged that off, accepting it at face value. But the moment you stepped into view, white laces flowing and cloudy bouquet swaying, he decided that there were few better traditions in this world. The light from your soul was dazzling, playing with the glittery silk and shimmering in gorgeous golden waves around you. You looked perfect. You looked like a goddess; a star; like one of the mysterious and powerful save points had taken human form in order to be with him. All he could do was stare in awe until the moment you ascended the final step and faced him, smiling in shy excitement. His gaze softened then, and he smiled back at you.

The ceremony itself was long. Most of it was the human priest reading relevant verses out of a book. Sans wasn’t particularly listening. Even if he’d tried to doze through it, he’d heard most of it at one point or another during their three rehearsals. He perked up again when it was time to share vows. Chuckling under his breath, he accepted the little black vow book Papyrus handed him from behind.

“We monsters had an old legend, back in the underground,” he spoke clearly, just loud enough for the people in back to hear. “One day, an angel would come and free us all. I personally met Frisk and saw that happen.” He paused for effect. “And then I met you. It was the second time I’d seen an angel, but the first time I was really saved. I couldn’t be happier to have you in my life. I’m going to love you until I dust.”

He’d said the words to you before, during rehearsal, but today they were real and serious, and he saw little dewdrops glistening in the corners of your eyes. Resisting the urge to rub your face and ruin your makeup, you took your little vow book from Chloe. 

“The night we met, I didn’t have any idea what I was walking into. There were so many things that were confusing and new to me, but you were always so good at helping me through them. You made me laugh, helped me relax, and taught me to think about myself--for myself--and about what I wanted. I know now. I want you. I swear on my soul that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

The priest said a few more brief words, and you exchanged rings. 

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Sans grinned at you and chuckled, winking. He stroked your cheek gently and cradled the back of your neck, pulling you down an inch so he could plant his teeth on your lips. You smiled against his skeleton grin and felt your hair and dress suddenly become floatier. There were gasps, cheers, and thrilled exclamations as you floated a handful of inches into the air, Sans kissing you tenderly while you both shimmered with blue magic. Undyne whistled and shouted in aggressive approval from the back of the aisle. 

He felt you breathe a little laugh against his teeth and quirked a brow ever so slightly, smirking. 

“You didn’t do this during rehearsal,” you whispered teasingly.

“I don’t do this in general,” he said back. Sans was never a big fan of standing out, but there was no way he _could_ next to you right now. You were perfect.

The kiss ended as you slowly floated back down. The priest said his final lines, and you walked back up the aisle holding your husband’s hand. 

After a somewhat short reception (on your end anyway), you left the wedding gifts to your parents to bring back to your apartment and had Gaster teleport you a few hundred miles away to your chosen honeymoon spot.

Still in your puffy white wedding dress, you kicked open the door to the bedroom and strolled in with Sans in a bridal carry in your arms. You flopped down onto the bed and buried both of you in a tidal wave of lacy fabric.

The two of you were alone, emotions were high after a lovely wedding, you were on honeymoon; your body was screaming at you “let’s do this!” and you started unzipping your dress.

It really wasn’t a garment meant to be put on or taken off alone. You couldn’t reach the zipper well at all, and the clasps at the top were tiny and hard to get a hold on.

“Help, I’m trapped!”

Sans chuckled and made his way out from under your skirt fabric. With his help, you had the dress tossed aside on the floor much faster. You helped Sans take off his suit and threw it on top of your dress. His soul was showing in his ribcage, which you rather liked to see. He looked so _empty_ when it wasn’t there. Still, you knew what it meant now, and you chuckled.

Sans blushed, his eyelights flickering to your chest. “You’re no better,” he teased.

“Really?” You laughed, stripping off your (frankly ruined) nice lace panties. “Well, I don’t need to see souls to know that though.”

“So, this honeymoon is still part of your human ceremonies, right? Is it too soon to start on my stuff?”

You blinked. “Wait. I know you’re talking about soulbonding, but you want to do that now? We didn’t rehearse—I don’t know the first thing about what I’m supposed to do.”

“It’s not something you can rehearse,” Sans laughed, “but I can describe it to you.”

“Well then, go ahead.” You said so, but your lower half was getting impatient. You had to sit on your knees just to pretend to be in control.

“First of all, it’s supposed to feel incomparably good, so I figured this would be an appropriate and special time to do it.”

You nodded, mouth watering in anticipation. _It_ _feels_ _good_ ,  _huh?_ “How do we do it?”

“We need to touch both of our souls together, match our soul pulses, and, well… Huh. This is harder to explain than I thought. There’s some magic jargon that I don’t really know how to translate.”

Your face screwed up in apologetic worry. “Am I going to be able to do it? I don’t have any control over the magic I supposedly have.”

“I’ll help you with it,” he said confidently. “It’s just an instinctual thing. Once I get you started, your body will know how to do the rest.”

“Are you sure?”

He held the back of his neck, “Not even a little bit. Humans are bizarre enough that maybe you can’t form soulbonds, but we’re gonna give it a try. If it doesn’t work out, well… Do you remember back when you asked me if it was okay to put my soul between your legs?”

“Yeah?” You tilted your head, wondering what that had to do with this.

“I told you it was fine, but that there were better things to do with a soul.”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, if soulbonding doesn’t work out, I’ll show you some of those things instead.” He winked, “And they feel pretty good too.”

You took a deep breath and nodded your head. “Okay. Let’s try it… What’s actually going to happen once we’re soulmates?” 

You trusted Sans that it wouldn’t be anything bad, but asking at the last second like this was maybe kinda dumb on your part.

“What does being soulmates sound like?” he smiled gently and asked you.

“Like we’d be made for each other, together forever.”

“Yup,” he grinned. 

“What do you mean ‘yup’?” you laughed. “How does that work? I mean, it’s not just brainwashing right?”

He sighed a little through his teeth. “No. A soulbond is consensual. It’s rare, but they can break if two people really stop liking each other. What it is is a semi-permanent link between two souls. It lets you understand another person directly from the source. You know what your partner is feeling and why. If you’re open to it, you can even feel it for yourself. It basically eliminates any relationship problems that come from miscommunication. Also, well, when you know someone’s whole thought process, you empathize with them more, and you tend to let certain things slide. That isn’t brainwashing; you see that kind of bias everywhere people are involved.” He lifted his arms in a shrug. “Of course, I have no idea if it’ll work the same with a human.”

When he looked back at you, your eyes were doing that cute little illusion where they seemed to sparkle, and you held your hands over your soul.

“That sounds wonderful.”

Sans held his hand over his ribcage, and his soul floated out into it. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.”

Sans helped you take out your soul. Just like the last time you’d seen it, it was incredibly bright. You were a little anxious holding it in your hands, since it felt like something that should always stay inside of you. But at the same time, just having it physically nearer to Sans’s soul made you happy.

“So do I just touch them together?” you wondered. Sans didn’t answer right away, and you saw him staring at the little golden heart in your hands with a look of awe. “Sans?”

He shook his head. “Sorry. Hopefully… you’ll get how amazing it is in a minute.” He held out his own soul and smiled. “Yeah, just touch them together and let go. They’ll float there; don’t worry.”

“Okay.”

You did like he said, and your whole body did a little… bump. At first, you were startled, and while you regained control of yourself it happened again, and again. Like all of your nerves were activating in tiny waves throughout your body. It wasn’t painful. In fact, if it kept going for a bit, you thought it could become pretty comfortable—maybe even stimulating. This sudden, strange pulsing…

Your eyes went wide. “Is that… your soul pulse?” you almost whispered the words.

Sans was blushing brightly opposite you (presumably feeling out your soul pulse inside of him as well), and his sockets went wide, a grin spreading across his face. “You can feel it?”

You nodded, and he smiled even brighter.

“Can you try matching yours to mine?”

You returned a confused look, and he chuckled awkwardly. “Ah. Yeah, okay. Guess that’s too much. Here, I’ll match mine to your heart beat, so see if you can feel the changes.”

Suddenly, the rhythm flowing through your nerves changed its pace and pattern. It sped up and started on a cycle of two taps and a short break. Soon, the match was perfect, and you were struck by the sensation of your heart beating in every inch of your body. It was a little like how you would feel your blood pounding in your ears during a run.

The fact that Sans could just _do_ that was amazing to you in a way that magic you only observed from the outside simply wasn’t. Because, well, even you couldn’t control your own body that precisely.

“Do you understand it at all?” he asked, cautiously hopeful.

“I think I understand that there’s no way I can do that,” you apologized.

He sighed. “Yeah, alright. I kinda figured I’d have to do this part myself. I’m going to match my soul pulse with yours. Once I do, well… just relax, okay?”

You reached out for his shoulder and rested your forehead against his. “Yeah. I trust you.”

Sans smiled, and you felt the rhythm in your body pick up pace again. It grew faster and stronger, and there was no question now that it was stimulating. 

“Oh fuck,” you whispered, pressing your legs tightly together. You’d never really appreciated Sans’s need to keep control over his soul pulse around you, but if this was what it felt like for him when it automatically tried to sync with yours, well, you respected his self-control. This was maddening.

You felt a hot breath against your chin and forced your eyes open. Sans looked like some combination of turned on and dead tired. This obviously took effort for him. 

And then, suddenly, you felt nothing. The sensation was gone, leaving nothing but the buzzing afterglow. For an instant, you thought he’d stopped, but then it occurred to you: just like people didn’t usually notice their own scent, you were too used to your own soul pulse to notice it. Right now, you and Sans were in sync. And as you watched in awe, the two souls that had been floating stuck to each other started to phase into each other. Ah, so that was why it was necessary to match soul pulses.

Maybe Sans had warned you to stay relaxed because he was worried the sight would scare you. But, while you couldn’t feel what was going on over there to know if it was good or bad, you also didn’t have a monster’s attachment to the concept of a soul. It doing its own thing didn’t particularly concern you. You just enjoyed the beautiful view of an inverted cyan heart sliding into a brilliant yellow one.

Something twitched in the back of your mind. You turned your attention toward it, and instinctively started to panic. It was hard to identify what it was specifically, but you knew it was a thought that didn’t belong to your mind. You started to push it out, but then a wave of calming feelings went through you, telling you that everything was going to be alright. And you realized that you were experiencing Sans’s thoughts and emotions on top of your own.

As the budding connection between your souls grew more stable, you felt and understood what was happening more clearly. Sans’s thoughts, his sensations, his feelings and understanding were all accessible to you if you merely decided to focus on them. Right now, magical concepts that had been far off and incomprehensible things to you were comfortable, logical things you’d grown up with, and you knew acutely that none of what was happening was bad.

When the soulbond reached its strongest point, you swore you could even see yourself through Sans’s eyes. You could feel the warmth of your skin on his cool bones, and you could feel the magic in the air through all of his highly-attuned senses. It was incredible, but it was also familiar and expected—except for the merging of two souls, which ignited every speck of dust in his body with joy and awe.

This sort of awakening was happening on both ends, of course. Sans had his own opportunity to suddenly understand something incomprehensible to him. The sensation of having a physical body was like nothing he’d ever imagined. When he looked at the world through your senses, there really wasn’t any magic to be seen. The world was a cold, hard, material place. There was a very strange sense of comfort in having no idea of anything beyond your own body and the things you could immediately touch and see.

Like he’d thought: humans were amazing, beautiful, alien things. Even not being able to sense your soul through you wasn’t frightening. You had the temple of safety that was your body, and you could survive with that alone.

Once the bond was securely formed, the two souls started to separate, and the extreme clarity of sharing the experiences of two people at once faded away into the backs of their minds. It would reappear if their souls touched again, or if they focused on it carefully, but each of them was still very much themselves and no one else. That too was reassuring.

You and Sans spoke up at the same time.

“So that’s how the world looks to a human?”

“So that’s how the world looks to a monster?”

You looked at each other and laughed, pressing your foreheads together again.

“If you try a little, you should be able to hear what I’m thinking,” Sans suggested, smiling mischievously.

You nodded and focused on the blurry thoughts and feelings at the back of your mind. It wasn’t a thought you found there, so much as a sensation: the warm, heart-squeezing, soul-buzzing feeling of affection.

You smiled, squeezing his hands, “I love you too, Sans.”

“Out in the solar system might be a bit of a stretch,” he started, “but you should be able to sense me like this anywhere on earth. We’ll always know if either of us is safe or in trouble; we’ll be able to comfort each other if one of us is upset; we can chat with each other when work is boring and nobody will confiscate our phones.”

You snorted out a laugh.

“Yeah, I understood most of it when I was more in your head than mine. I like this. I think it’s a good thing.”

For a few minutes, you just held each other. Sans leaned into you and purred, and you practiced feeling things through your new soul bond. You learned what purring felt like, which was super neat. As it turned out, it actually felt better to purr yourself than it did to listen to someone else purring. It was kind of addicting.

“We have a week,” you mumbled, your brain swimming with dopamine. You felt Sans being cozy, he felt you being cozy, you felt him feeling you being cozy, and in the end you were left floating a comfort feedback loop. “Maybe we just go to sleep for tonight and try the soul sex thing tomorrow.”

“That sounds good,” he murmured. “Wash your makeup off first though. It itches.”

You slipped predominantly back into your own mind and body. “Oh. Yeah, it does. Alright, gimme a minute.” 

You got up to wipe off your makeup with some face towels and a little help from the sink. While you were at it, you took your jewelry and nail polish off and slipped on a pair of pajamas that had been stashed in the room ahead of time. Finally, back to ultimate cuddling: your new favorite extreme magical sport.

“So all monster couples do this?” you asked, snuggling into your spot next to Sans.

“Wouldn’t all serious couples do this if they could?” he asked back.

Sans still had that habit of giving roundabout answers, but that was no longer an issue for you. You could tell what he was actually thinking with just a little bit of effort, after all. And he could also tell that he’d slipped back into the habit and left you wondering.

“Whoops, sorry. That was a yes.”

You smiled and stroked the top of his skull.

“Yeah, I really do like this.”

“You think we’ll last?” he chuckled.

“Until the stars die.” Sans stared at you, then planted a small skeleton kiss on your forehead, and you wrapped your arms around his delicate frame. “I am never letting go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, everybody. And I decided against an Epilogue. This work is complete. I’m crying, but I guess they’re good tears? Thank you everybody so much for sticking with me through this. This is now the first fan fiction I’ve finished, and I hope there will be many more.
> 
> If you want to know more about me and the stuff that I do, I have a Tumblr under the same username. Feel free to drop by and check it out.
> 
> I hope you all find friends and lovers as good as Sans and the gang. Cheers.
> 
> \- docemoon145
> 
> P.S. I have an idea for a sequel in my head, but there are a lot of other stories I want to write just as much. Don’t be too sad if things end here.
> 
> P.P.S. I love when the fandom gets creative. If anybody gets impatient or otherwise inspired and wants to try their hand at a continuation or spinoff of this work, you have my blessing to do so.


End file.
